I was a bad neighbor. And I was embarrassed.

I was convinced that he saw me as a bad neighbor.  At least, I was pretty sure it was him. 

A few weeks ago, my wife and I were preparing our house to host a barbeque for a group of friends.  We had the typical “get ready for company” agenda: clean this, find a new place for that, make room for additional seating, buy last minute items.  We weren’t 100% sure what the weather would be like, and there was a strong possibility that we’d be spending time outside.  Let’s just say that I had let the outside upkeep chores slide a little bit over the previous month or two. 

So the day before the party, I was outside pulling weeds, trimming bushes, and weed-whacking all the hard-to-mow spots.  One chore I had put off for a while was trimming the grass that had grown up over the curb.  We live on a corner lot in our neighborhood, and one side had grown over quite a bit.  I didn’t realize how much until I started going at it with the weed-whacker.  It took some time and a fair bit of trimmer line to get that side shored up.  It was a mess, too.  I’m glad I was wearing jeans and safety glasses, because stuff was blown everywhere.

I went back to the garage and got distracted with something else.  I cleaned up the tools I had left around the yard and went on to some other chore.  Just before I went back inside, I thought, “Do I need to clean up the trimmings from the curb?  Nah, it’s just little stuff.  It’ll blow away.”  I then went on with my day, getting other parts of the house ready for the party.

The next morning I got up and took our dog out early for a walk.  As we turned the corner, I didn’t see many of the trimmings in the road…instead, there were four or five piles of trimmings placed back in our lawn.  I internally groaned, “Oh no.  Someone cleaned up after me and put them back where I’d be sure to see them.  I bet they were cussing me out the whole time they were scooping these things up.  Way to make the neighborhood look bad.  Jerk can’t even pick up after himself.”  The most likely person to do this would be my neighbor across the street.  We’ve barely talked over the years, so I’m not sure of his attitude or opinion of me.  He’s never been unfriendly, but we haven’t been friends.  Feeling completely embarrassed, after I finished walking our dog, I cleaned up the piles and then hosted the party that afternoon.

Throughout the days that followed, I wondered how much I had made him mad.  I wondered if he held a grudge or at least thought less of me as his neighbor.  It seems a bit silly as I type this out, but I mentally beat myself up over this.  I felt embarrassed each time I walked our dog past his house, thinking things like: The trimmings weren’t small.  I should have remembered better.  Or, at least I should have checked before going back inside.  Why was I so selfish thinking it was ok to leave them?  How could I leave a mess for someone else to clean up?

About two weeks after the party, I was walking our dog and my neighbor happened to be outside.  Swallowing my pride, I flagged him down.  I asked if he was the one who put the trimmings back in my yard.  He said that he had.  I apologized for leaving such a mess, and that I had spent these weeks assuming that he believed he had a jerk for a neighbor.  To my surprise, he smiled and said, “Oh no, I was just trying to help you.  I’ve gotten a letter before from our HOA about my lawn growing over the curb and didn’t want you to get a letter, either.  I just do what I can to help keep our neighborhood cleaned up.”  He then extended his hand to shake mine, showing that he had no hard feelings.  While shaking his hand, I realized that I had been completely wrong about his motives and attitude. 

In Paul’s first letter to the believers in Corinth, chapter 13 is famously known as “The Love Chapter.”  We’re all familiar with the love is patient, love is kind phrases that begin a long list of what love is and what love isn’t.  However, in the middle of the chapter is a verse that often trips people up:

1 Corinthians 13:7
[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

It’s the believes all things part that seems confusing.  Other translations render the phrase as trusts all things – and that kinda helps, but it kinda doesn’t.  A helpful explanation is found in the Holman New Testament Commentary:

Perhaps this characteristic of love is best expressed in contemporary English idiom as: “Love gives the benefit of the doubt.”  Suspicion and doubt toward others do not indicate affection or love.  On the contrary, when someone loves with Christlike love, he entrusts himself to the persons he loves time and again.  Still, love does not demand that a person trust even when the basis for trust has been destroyed.  Love does not give the “benefit” when there is no “doubt.”  In these circumstances trust is folly.  Yet, the general practice of those who love is to trust the good intentions of others as much as possible.

I had spent those two weeks doing the opposite of loving my neighbor.  My neighbor has never given me any reason to think he would be hostile or mad at me, but it didn’t even cross my mind that he could actually be trying to help me.  All the tension I felt between us was caused by my embarrassed feelings and imagination…because I didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt.

It’s just another step for me to learn how to love my neighbor as myself.  I hope you’re taking those steps, too.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Clock's ticking

There never seems to be enough time…at least not enough time to do the things I want.  As I have gotten older, I’m recognizing just how fast time moves and how short our lives truly are.  There seems to be a daily battle on several fronts with regards to my time: work responsibilities, family responsibilities, unexpected demands…it’s far too easy to descend into survival mode and just live there.

If you’ve been in Christian circles long enough, you’ll have heard the phrase, “make the most of your time, because the days are evil.”  That phrase has always struck an ominous tone with me, to say that each day was “evil” in some way.  As usual, reading the verse in context gives us a better understanding of what God is actually saying.  Here’s the full sentence:

Ephesians 5:15-16
Pay careful attention, then, to how you live – not as unwise people but as wise – making the most of the time, because the days are evil.

Typically, any teaching on this verse will focus on the last phrase “because the days are evil”.  I can understand that, since the phrasing is a little different than what us modern folks are used to.  The best explanation I’ve heard taught that the “days are evil” phrasing should be understood as the “days are working against you” or “time stops for no one” – which is why Paul begins with saying we should pay careful attention to how we live.  In the context of the previous verses, Paul discusses living as children of the light among the darkness – so, this explanation of the “days are evil” fits in with the context of the passage.  As always, context clarifies what we read.

However, I must admit that this hasn’t felt very impactful.  I’m certain this is a “me-thing” and not an issue with the text, but whenever I’ve heard teaching on this verse, I’ve pretty much just nodded in agreement and then gone on with living life.  I don’t remember any immediate transformation or change in thought because I’ve read it or listened to teaching on it.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I discovered that I had spent over 15 hours in one week playing a game on my phone.  Since that time, I have turned on a timer to help me reduce the amount of time that I’ve been spending there.  The timer keeps track of my total time per day, so if I play a little at lunch and a little on break, or a little in the evening, I won’t lose track of how much of my day I’m actually devoting to this small piece of entertainment. 

It amazes me how quickly a 30 minute timer can go by if I’m not paying attention, but this timer helps me recognize when it’s time to stop with the entertainment and move on to something more useful.  God’s been working on me recently, pointing out how I’m spending my time.  If I’m not being intentional with my time, then it’s easy to let it fritter away…because the days are evil and they’re working against me.  Time isn’t on my side.  Time isn’t on your side, either.  The clock is ticking, and we can’t stop it.

Which brings me back to Ephesians 5:15-16.  Rather than focusing on what I can’t control – the days being evil – there is another part that I can control: making the most of the time I have.  The Greek phrasing literally says “buying back the time”.  Other Bible translations aptly render the phrase as redeeming the time.

To me, this resonates.  To redeem something is to pay a price in order to recover something valued.  This concept also fits in perfectly with Paul’s context a little earlier in this letter:

Ephesians 4:32-5:2
And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.  Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children, and walk in love, as Christ also loved us and gave Himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God.

Jesus gave Himself for us – He redeemed us by sacrificing Himself – and we are to imitate Him.  We can best imitate Him by buying back the time we have, sacrificing our now-focused desires for His greater, eternal good.

But let’s get practical with this.  How much time do we spend on our phones each day?  How much time do we spend watching TV or YouTube videos each day?  If we added up every time we checked social media throughout the day, would the total time surprise you?

What if we took a little bit of time away from these things…could it really make a difference?

Here’s some perspective:

30 minutes/week = 1 day/year
30 minutes/day = 1 week/year
1 hour/day = 2 weeks/year
2 hours/day = 1 month/year

This doesn’t have to be time spent without interruption.  Anything can be broken up into smaller chunks of time throughout a day.  For example, if we read the Bible and/or pray for 10 minutes in the morning, 10 minutes at lunch, and 10 minutes before falling asleep – we will have spent an entire week this year talking with God. 

What good thing would you like to do that you don’t think you have the time to do?  Has God shown you people in need that you don’t think it’s possible to help because you just don’t have large amounts of time to give?  Break it down into smaller, actionable pieces. 

If we sacrifice a little of our time each day to buy back the time we have, we will be loving on others, imitating Jesus, and we’ll also please God the Father.  Isn’t that worth giving up a couple of YouTube videos or some time spent scrolling social media?

Don’t feel bad about the time that’s gone.  I’m still working on this and through this, too.  But let’s move forward, making the most of the time that God has given us.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Pause on offense

If there’s any phrase that’s been thrown around too much in the last ten years, I think we can all agree that “I’m offended!” is it.  It seems like everyone is offended about something, right?

Typically, I’ve seen two opposing responses to someone taking offense.  On the one hand, we have someone who immediately pulls back and apologizes for any offense taken.  This person seems to believe that causing an offense is the worst thing one person could do to another.  On the other hand, we have someone else who hardens up and becomes recalcitrant in their behavior.  They claim that dealing with an offense is the sole responsibility of the one who is offended.  I’ve even witnessed some people being intentionally offensive, in an attempt to prove their point.

But where is a Christian supposed to live in this spectrum?  Timid, obstinate, or somewhere in between?  Does loving others mean that we’re going to acquiesce to another’s personal preferences or feelings?  Or does love need to be “tough” on those who wilt at the notion of conflict or differences?

While I do not think there is a hard-and-fast rule for our most loving response in all situations, I am thankful that Jesus provides us with an example in a situation He found Himself in. 

Before we step into the scene, we need a little context.  The Old Testament directed that at the annual census, each person over the age of 20 was to give a half-shekel offering to the Lord in support of the tabernacle.  This “temple tax” was collected annually across the nation.  It was not without controversy, either.  Some people believed that the temple tax was only to be paid once per lifetime; whereas others insisted that it was an annual offering.

The temple tax collectors were Jews who were working in the service of the temple, not the Roman occupiers.  What is not clear from the text is if they are simply doing their job, or if they were attempting to be clever with their question in order to draw Jesus into the debate and possibly accuse Him of not supporting the temple.

Whichever motive is true, Jesus’ handling of the situation is fascinating:

Matthew 17:24-26
When they came to Capernaum, those who collected the temple tax approached Peter and said, “Doesn’t your teacher pay the temple tax?”
“Yes,” he said.
When he went into the house, Jesus spoke to him first, “What do you think, Simon?  From whom do earthly kings collect tariffs or taxes?  From their sons or from strangers?”
“From strangers,” he said.
“Then the sons are free,” Jesus told him.

Let’s pause right here.  Jesus is not merely teaching Peter a lesson in tax law.  Instead, He’s making a statement on Peter’s position in God’s family.  As the Son of God, Jesus is exempt from the temple tax.  However, Jesus is also including Peter as part of God’s family.  Earlier, Jesus stated that whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother (Matthew 12:50).  And just what is this “will of my Father”?  The apostle John quoted Jesus on this very phrase:

John 6:40
For this is the will of my Father: that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him will have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.

Those who believe in Jesus for eternal life are now part of the Father’s family!  On top of the multitude of benefits familyhood brings, in their current situation, Peter is just like Jesus – exempt from the temple tax.

So…what should Peter do with this new understanding of who he is as a member of God’s family?  As a practical matter, the temple tax collector is still waiting outside, expecting Peter to come out with the money.  What would you do?  Begrudgingly pay it?  Yell at the guy to go away?  Forcefully tell him about your rights as a child of God, and that you are exempt from his earthly governing rules?

When we read the next directions that Jesus gave to Peter, most people focus on the fantastical way Jesus provided the money.  Instead, I want us to focus on why Jesus was still going to pay, even though He said that the sons are free:

Matthew 17:27
“But, so we won’t offend them, go to the sea, cast in a fishhook, and take the first fish that you catch.  When you open its mouth you’ll find a coin.  Take it and give it to them for me and you.”

Jesus says that they’ll still pay (even though they rightfully don’t have to) so the temple tax collectors won’t be offended.  The Greek word translated as offend – skandalizo – means to put a stumbling block or impediment in the way, upon which another may trip and fall, or metaphorically, to offend.  The temple tax collector wasn’t part of God’s Family…and so to avoid making him stumble in his interaction with those who are in God’s Family, Jesus set aside His rights as a son.  Jesus chose to pay a tax that He did not have to in order to keep the path clear for someone else to believe in Him for eternal life and join the family.

Jesus modeled how to avoid an offense so that a relationship can be maintained.  Even if Jesus or Peter chose to confront the tax collector with an argument about their rights as sons…what good would it have done in this situation?  The temple tax collector didn’t set the policy.  He doesn’t make the decisions about who pays and who does not pay.  In this instance, the tax collector is simply the messenger and blasting him with arguments – even valid ones – does not accomplish anything…but it would place a stumbling block in His way to seeing Jesus as the Messiah.

Our take-away principle is clear: There are bigger issues than my individual rights, especially when it comes to keeping the path to God clear of stumbling blocks for others.  If Jesus can set aside His rights to avoid an offense, so can I.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Knowing God without seeing Him

My time working for a company once coincided with the last years of the company’s founder being involved in the operation.  He and a friend had started the business over 40 years previous to my arrival. 

I never saw him while at work, our paths never crossed.  I was second shift in the QC lab, and he was managing the Executive Board.  However, within my first few years on the job, while at a dedication event for Chestnut Mountain Ranch, I saw him from a distance.  I was afraid to walk up and awkwardly introduce myself, and I rationalized my fear by thinking that my position was too low to justify me striking up a conversation out of the blue.

Although I never had another chance to speak with him, I did get to know him.  The longer I worked at the company, the more I found that nearly everyone knew Mike.  In previous years, he had purposefully worked closely with many of his employees.  Those who worked with him had adopted his ethos for excellent work and treating your workers with excellence.  I came to know the standards and expectations of the company because the founder had instilled his methods and expectations on those who would pass down those patterns of behavior to me.

On a much larger scale, something similar has happened in God’s family.  In the books referred to as “The Gospels”, we have four separate, but highly complementary, records of Jesus’ life.  John, the youngest of all Jesus’ disciples, would record Jesus telling the disciples at the Passover meal:

John 13:34-35
I give you a new command: Love one another.  Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.

How will others know that we are followers of Jesus?  It’s not because of the money we make, the car we drive, or the education we have.  We are identified as disciples based upon how we love other believers.

Did you know that Jesus even prayed for us modern-day believers?  That’s right, Jesus specifically mentions us – you and me – during His prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane, the night before He was crucified.  John also recorded this:

John 17:20-21
I pray not only for [the disciples], but also for those who believe in Me through their word.  May they all be one, as You, Father, are in Me and I am in You.  May they also be in Us, so that the world may believe you sent Me.

Jesus’ words obviously stuck with John.  Many years after Jesus had ascended into Heaven, here’s what John passed on about Jesus in a letter he wrote to other believers…ones who had never met Jesus:

1 John 4:9-12
God’s love was revealed among us in this way: God sent His one and only Son into the world so that we might live through Him.  Love consists in this: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins.  Dear friends, if God loved us in this way, we also must love one another.  No one has ever seen God.  If we love one another, God remains in us and His love is made complete in us.

Notice a theme?  John carried on Jesus’ instruction, that God cares how we love one another, because our love is a reflection of His.  How well we love each other demonstrates how closely we are walking with Him…and as that kind of love is different from what the world offers as love, everyone will know that we are His disciples.

As the global church of believers – those who trust in Jesus for eternal life – we have many ways to get to know our Savior.  Start with what John tells us – choose to love your fellow believers.  Listen to others talk about their relationship with Him.  When we read Scripture, we find out who He is and what He is like.  We can pray and talk directly to Him.

Short of the rapture happening in our lifetime, we won’t meet Jesus face-to-face until we’re on the other side.  But that doesn’t mean we can’t know Him now.  We haven’t missed our chance.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Correcting bad teaching

When Paul sent his letter of instruction and encouragement to Timothy, the very first area he discussed had to do with Timothy’s authority in the church family.

1 Timothy 1:3-4
As I urged you when I went to Macedonia, remain in Ephesus so that you may command certain people not to teach other doctrine or to pay attention to myths and endless genealogies.  These promote empty speculations rather than God’s plan, which operates by faith.

Right away, we see that Timothy is in charge.  The Greek word Paul uses for command means to instruct, charge, or declare a message to others.  This word was often used by the gospel writers to describe Jesus’ teaching to both the crowds and to his disciples.  Paul wants Timothy to exercise his authority in the church at Ephesus, as evidenced by him using that particular Greek verb five different times in this letter.

Given the multicultural makeup of the city, its inhabitants, and their multitude of religious practices, the church would have been inundated with many competing ideas about who God is, what He is like, and how a relationship with Him is supposed to happen. 

Whenever Timothy would encounter these incorrect ideas about God, and the time came for him to command people not to teach these false ideas, it is easy to understand how tense of a situation that could be.  No one likes being wrong, and no one likes being called out for being incorrect – especially on something they are passionate about.

Oftentimes, when a person’s doctrine beliefs are discussed, there is a tendency for pride to creep in.  We fight in order to show that our understanding is right…rather than taking the humble route of wanting to make sure we are rightly aligned with God. 

That balance between humility and authority will be challenging for a leader, so Paul makes sure that Timothy understands where his motivation comes from:

1 Timothy 1:5
Now the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith.

Timothy is to give commands because he genuinely loves the people he will be shepherding in Ephesus.  While Timothy’s instructions will be authoritative, they will be given for the people’s benefit. 

We need to correctly understand who God is and what He is like if we’re going to have a strong, life-giving relationship with Him.  As such, correcting false doctrine and false teaching is of paramount importance within the church family.  However, to be effective, the goal of our instruction must be love.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Reoccurring themes and second chances

As Paul wraps up his personal letter to Philemon, he also lists out final greetings from those who are ministering with him at the moment:

Philemon 23-25
Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, greets you, and so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke, my coworkers.  The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.

In light of Paul’s plea for Philemon to reconcile with Onesimus – despite the wrongs Onesimus had committed – one name on Paul’s final greeting list stands out: Mark.

Paul’s letter to Philemon and his letter to the Colossian church were very likely to have been written and delivered at the same time.  In fact, one of the great evidences for this timeline is the near-identical final greeting list at the end of Colossians, where Paul says:

Colossians 4:10
Aristarchus, my fellow prisoner, greets you, as does Mark, Barnabas’ cousin (concerning whom you have received instructions: if he comes to you, welcome him)

This is the same Mark who deserted Paul and Barnabas on a missionary trip approximately 20 years before Paul wrote his letter to Philemon.  Although the Scriptures do not record why Mark abandoned the team, we do know that his reasons caused significant problems later on:

Acts 15:36-41
After some time had passed, Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s go back and visit the brothers in every town where we have preached the message of the Lord, and see how they’re doing.”  Barnabas wanted to take along John Mark.  But Paul did not think it appropriate to take along this man who had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not gone on with them to the work.  There was such a sharp disagreement that they parted company, and Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed off to Cyprus.  Then Paul chose Silas and departed, after being commended to the grace of the Lord by the brothers.  He traveled through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.

At that time, it was Barnabas standing in the gap for John Mark and pleading for Paul to reconcile over the past wrongs that John Mark had caused.  However, Paul did not want to trust John Mark after his previous failure. 

The disagreement over John Mark’s usefulness was significant enough for Barnabas and Paul to part company.  They are never mentioned together again in the rest of the New Testament.

Now fast-forward 20 years.  John Mark, through Barnabas’ mentoring, has become useful to Paul as they work together spreading the gospel.  There is no doubt in my mind that Paul saw in Onesimus the same need for a second chance that John Mark had needed so many years prior.  While Paul could not go back to change his previous choices, he was presented with an opportunity to make the better choice this time.

You can almost hear the echo of Barnabas’ plea on behalf of John Mark when Paul writes about Onesimus:

Philemon 17-18
So if you consider me a partner, accept him as you would me.  And if he has wronged you in any way, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. 

Maybe we’ve messed up opportunities to reconcile relationships in the past.  We can’t go back and change those.  We have to trust that God will work in other people’s lives.  However, we will run into reoccurring themes the longer we walk with Christ.  There will be opportunities for us to make the right choice and help someone else.

Our great God is a God who gives second chances.  And He is patient enough to show us the reoccurring themes of life – even decades later – to give us another chance to act like Him toward another person.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Reflecting love

After all the dysfunction and relationship problems that Onesimus had previously caused Philemon, take a look at Paul’s appeal to Philemon to now accept Onesimus.  Does this sound familiar?

Philemon 17-22
So if you consider me a partner, accept him as you would me.  And if he has wronged you in any way, or owes you anything, charge that to my account.  I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it – not to mention to you that you owe me even your own self.  Yes, brother, may I have joy from you in the Lord; refresh my heart in Christ. 

Since I am confident of your obedience, I am writing to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say.  But meanwhile, also prepare a guest room for me, for I hope that through your prayers I will be restored to you.

Can you see how Paul is standing in the gap for Onesimus with Philemon, just like Jesus stands in the gap between us and God the Father?

Paul is confident that Philemon will listen to his request and accept Onesimus because Paul is the one making the request.  In order for the reconciliation to happen, Paul is willing to be charged for wrongs that he didn’t commit.  Paul is choosing to spend of himself – both in monetary resources and in relationship capital – to repair the relationship between two people he dearly loves.  Additionally, Paul was confident that Philemon would accept his offer and would do even more than simply tolerating Onesimus – it’s clear from his request that Paul fully believed Philemon would accept Onesimus back into his family.

Similarly, Jesus is confident that God the Father will accept those who trust Him for eternal life because Jesus is the one making the request.  In order for our reconciliation to happen, Jesus was willing to be charged for wrongs that he didn’t commit.  Jesus chose to spend of himself – by leaving behind the glory of Heaven, willing to be separated from the Father, and then to die a horrible death – to repair the relationship between those he dearly loves.  Additionally, Jesus knew that the Father would accept His offering and that the Father would do even more than just tolerate those who believe in Jesus for eternal life.  Jesus knew that because of His sacrifice, the Father would bring us into His family.

Paul’s actions are small-scale reflection of what Jesus did for each of us.  Without Paul’s assistance, it is doubtful that Onesimus could have been reconciled with Philemon.  Without Jesus, there was no way for us to be reconciled with God the Father. 

Great things happen when we imitate Jesus.  Relationships can be restored and lives can be changed – because we are acting like the One who restored our relationship with God the Father.  Our Jesus-changed life will positively affect the lives of others around us and simultaneously point them toward God’s bigger story.  The world doesn’t just need to hear the message of Jesus – they need to see it, too.

Paul was able to stand in the gap for his friends because he knew Jesus well enough to imitate Him.  If we stay close to Jesus, we too can be small-scale reflections of His great love.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Your story, as told by others

There is an old riddle that asks the question:

What belongs to you, but everyone else uses more than you do?

The answer is – your name.

All kidding aside, there is a fair bit of truth to that.  However, others rarely use just our names.  Attached to the use of our names is that person’s opinion of us…our reputation. 

Reputations can be broad and widely held, but they can also be held by individuals.  A “good” reputation can take a long time to build, and only a momentary lapse in judgment or selfishness can completely destroy one.  And to top it all off, there’s only so much we can do about them, since we’re not around when our reputation (for better or worse) is communicated to a new someone.

Therefore, our reputations will go ahead of us into places that we’ve never been to.  It may feel strange to think but people miles away from us, whom we’ve never met, could actually have an opinion about who we are.

When Paul wrote his letter to the Philemon, he was in prison, and most scholars believe he was being held in Rome.  As the crow flies, Rome is over 900 miles from Colossae.  If you were to drive a car from Rome to Colossae on today’s highways, it would take you nearly 30 hours to get there.  Now let your mind move back to ancient Bible times….no cars, no social media.  A person’s reputation could really only travel by word of mouth.

And yet, from that far away, Paul hears of Philemon’s reputation:

Philemon 4-5
I always thank my God when I mention you in my prayers, because I hear of your love and faith toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints.

Whenever Philemon’s name comes up in conversation, what Paul also hears about is all the ways that Philemon demonstrates his love and faith.  By his actions and words, people can recognize his priorities.  They can also see which relationships in his life that Philemon considers the most important.  And his reputation of love and faith toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints went out for at least 900 miles!

I suppose, however, we shouldn’t be all that surprised at this, since Jesus told His disciples at the Last Supper:

John 13:34-35
I give you a new commandment: love one another.  Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another.  By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.

Jesus said all people.  When our love for one another is recognizable to others, it will also become our reputation.  And a reputation like Philemon’s will point others toward Jesus…even if we’re not physically there to share the gospel.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Talking with outsiders

No one likes a “know-it-all”.  Generally speaking, people do not mind if someone else has more knowledge, but the way a person handles themselves in light of that additional knowledge can make or break relationships.  Whether it’s among strangers or siblings, classmates or co-workers, no one appreciates being talked down to.  The subject matter could be of small consequence or something really important, but how something is communicated is as important as what is being communicated.

For those of us that have been following Christ for a length of time, there is a tendency toward smugness that will cause problems.  When we get comfortable going through the motions of living the “Christian life” instead of focusing on our relationship with God, we grow stale.  Our mindset and interactions with others will twist until we end up presenting a conceited, self-righteous version of Christianity.

A telling symptom of this stale-ness is found in how we interact with those outside of our Christian family.  What is our general attitude toward non-Christians?  While we know that they need Jesus, do our actions and attitudes invite them toward Jesus or push them away?  Do we speak at them with a lot of Christian-ese?  Do we belittle them because of their sin?

After spending most of his letter describing the wondrous relationship we now have with God and praising the Colossian believers for their great love for everyone in God’s family, Paul took a moment to give them a warning:

Colossians 4:5-6
Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the time.  Your speech should always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person.

Those outside the faith need our wisdom and our gracious speech, not arrogant attitudes and put-down talk.  Being “better off” doesn’t make us “more important”.  In fact, many of the Bible’s authors gave warning against such self-righteous thinking.

Instead, gracious speech comes from a grateful mindset.  That’s why Paul has spent so much time writing about the greatness of Christ and the priority He should have in our lives.  When we have our relationship with God in its proper place, then our interactions with outsiders will begin to look and sound a lot like Jesus’ interactions with others.

Looking and sounding like Jesus will draw a lot of attention, people will take notice of the difference.  In order to be ready to answer each person, we should take the same attitude Daniel had when God told him the meaning of the king’s dream:

Daniel 2:30
As for me, this mystery has been revealed to me, not because I have more wisdom than anyone living, but in order that the interpretation might be made known to the king, and that you may understand the thoughts of your mind.

Can you hear his humility?  Can you see how Daniel shifted the focus from himself and gave the credit to God?  When we have the opportunity to share the gospel with others, we should have the same attitude:

I’m not a Christian because I’m better than anyone else.  One day, someone told me that God loves me enough to die for my sins.  He loves you, too.  I’m just glad that I get to be the one to tell you about it.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Bridging the gap between God and others

We mentally separate the parts of our lives in order to keep everything straight.  The typical division of our time and relationships is into sections of church, family, work, school, and spare time.  However, we tend to make these areas into islands with little or no connection to the other areas.

As Christians, we also tend take this practice one step further – we see our relationship with God as something separate from our relationship with others.  While we know that both are important and need to be cultivated, we often deal with one while excluding the other.  However, the two are more connected than we realize.

This is the next point Paul wanted to convey in his letter to the believers in Colossae.  Look at the verses below and see if you can identify how our relationships with other Christians connects to our relationship with God:

Colossians 3:14-16
Above all, put on love – the perfect bond of unity.  And let the peace of the Messiah, to which you were called in one body, control your hearts.  Be thankful.  Let the message about the Messiah dwell richly among you

We can become so comfortable in our established family position that our relationship with God and our relationship with others can seem like mutually exclusive ideas.  The way these two concepts are connected for us is in the same manner Paul connected them for the Colossians. 

However, his bridge sentence is comprised of just two words, so it is easily missed.  Likewise, the full impact of this small sentence is also overlooked.  Paul says that we are able to aim for peace-driven love with those around us only as the message about the Messiah is present among us.  To be thankful is the bridge between the two.

We are truly thankful when we are mindful of the favor extended to us by someone else.  It shifts the focus off of ourselves and recognizes who the other person is and what we have become because of their actions.  The better we understand and think about Christ’s incredible love for us, the more we are thankful for the choices He made on our behalf. 

To be thankful is focus-shifting experience.  Being thankful towards God puts him in the proper place in our lives; it shows us how to lovingly and peacefully relate to others.  So our ability to bridge the mental gap between of our relationship with others and our relationship with God comes down to two words – Be thankful.

Keep Pressing,
Ken