A Hall of Famer’s biggest regret

I’ve loved watching NFL football and the Kansas City Chiefs since I was a kid in the early 90s.  One of the Chiefs’ biggest rivals has always been the Denver Broncos.  There have been epic, back-and-forth matchups between the two teams over the years, with superstars and Hall of Fame-level players on both sides.  While I may not care much for Broncos players when they’re playing, I’ve always maintained a level of grudging respect for their good players.

However, one player always bugged me.  I never liked his attitude, his mouth, or the fact that he was so stinkin’ good – his name was Shannon Sharpe, and he played the Tight End position.  He’d talk trash, back it up, and then talk some more.  He never stopped talking, and his persona was always larger-than-life.  On the field, he was close to unstoppable.  He was the first TE to reach over 10,000 receiving yards, and he won 3 Superbowl Championships in his career.  Life was much easier for my Chiefs once he retired in 2003, after playing for 14 seasons.  He was elected to the ProFootball Hall of Fame in 2011.

During an interview in the spring of 2023, Shannon Sharpe was asked an interesting question, and his answer was much more transparent than I expected.  He was asked “What advice would you go back and give yourself as a rookie?”

Here is his reply:

What would I tell myself?

I don't know. Honestly guys, from the time that I made it [to the NFL], everything was about football. I ate, I slept, I breathed, I talked football.  And I think…I was terrible at a lot of things, except football. I was terrible at being a brother, terrible at being a son. I was terrible at being a father. I was terrible at being a boyfriend.

I was terrible at all of those, but I was a damn good football player.

Probably…I wish I could, look, I would go back, if I could tell my rookie self…I would say, “the way you judge success” because everything that I look at now is judged by success.

And that's the only thing. And so even my relationships now, here I am about to be double nickel [55] in about four months, is still judged by success. And so I would say, “Shannon, everything that you've accomplished doesn't mean anything, because you don't have anybody to share it with.”

That's what I would tell myself. I would do it…if I would do it over again. I would find that one person [to share life with]…and that's what I would do.

Of all the things he could have told himself as a rookie – the most important message he wanted to send back is that our relationships are the top, lasting priority.  You can hear his regret as he spoke about all the relationships he was “terrible” at.  Despite all the fame, money, and football glory he enjoyed…the missing link, as he sees it now, was a wife to share it with.

His comments bring to mind a few Scriptures:

Genesis 2:18, 24
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper corresponding to him.”…This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.

Proverbs 31:10
Who can find a wife of noble character?
She is far more precious than jewels.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-11
Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts.  For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.  Also if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one person alone keep warm?

God made us to be relational beings – we really do need each other.  We were created to have a spouse, and there is a strong desire in us to find that special, unique connection between a man and a woman.  Unfortunately, we’re often bad a recognizing how much of a priority this connection needs to be.  We let many things get in the way, but the value of having “someone to share life with” surpasses all other achievements, awards, or personal experiences. 

I encourage you to ask yourself the following hard questions:

What priority-level do relationships have in my life?
If they should be a higher priority, what immediate steps will I take to fix that?
If I believe they are prioritized correctly, what am I actively doing to keep them there?

Don’t get to the point where you look back on your life and realize that all your “success” wasn’t very successful because you failed to prioritize your relationships along the way.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our Best Life, Step 5: Discipline

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

             A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly-defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involved our reputation (link).  His second step looked at how we can make sure our lives are heading in the right direction (link).  His third step was about our health and healing (link).  His fourth step discussed how to properly handle having an abundance (link).  King Solomon’s fifth and final step to our Best Life is something we have a love/hate relationship with: discipline.

If we’re honest, we’ll all agree that we love the results of discipline, but we don’t necessarily like receiving discipline.

No one who is at the “top of their game” – whether that “game” is business, sports, relationships, money, or anything else – is there by accident.  You can have tons of talent, even more talent than anyone ever born…but if you’re not disciplined in how you use and develop that talent, you will never reach your Best Life full potential.

But here’s the real kicker, probably the thing that bugs us most about discipline – you can have self-discipline, and that’s super-beneficial, but if you don’t have an outside authority to coach, correct, shape, and even rebuke or punish you…then you’ll have a ceiling that you can’t break through on your own.

The top athletes all recognize the need for a personal trainer.  The best CEOs bring in coaching consultants.  When our relationships breakdown with our spouse or our kids, we find a counselor.  Having a financial planner is key to winning long-term with money.  Could each of these people go at it alone?  Sure, they could.  But they wouldn’t be their best.  Their progress would slow to the level of their own education and experience.

Think about it – Every one of these “successes” pays their hard-earned money and chooses to submit to another person’s authority, because they believe that person can help them reach their full potential.  They are willing to be guided and disciplined by an outside authority so they can become a bigger success than they ever could have achieved on their own.

The question for us as believers is “Do we view God the same way?  Do we trust His guidance and discipline, or do we avoid His correction because we’d rather do it our way?”

However, if we’re going to live our Best Life, if we’re going to reach our full potential…King Solomon tells us not only Who to turn to, but what His motivation is toward us:

Proverbs 3:11-12
Do not despise the Lord’s instruction, my son, and do not loathe His discipline;
for the Lord disciplines the one He loves, just as a father disciplines the son in whom He delights.

God doesn’t just discipline us because He sees potential in us, His motivation comes from His love for us.  The parallel King Solomon cites is a powerful one – a good father lovingly provides instruction and discipline so that his son will become the fully-realized man that he could be.  God’s approach is the same with us.  God loves and delights in us, and as such, He disciplines us for our own good.

Our Best Life doesn’t happen by accident…it’s not something we’re going to just fall into or someone else is going to provide for us.  Achieving our Best Life truly is a partnership with God…and that means we’re signing up for His discipline.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Impromptu concerts and bitter substitutes

I came across an interesting series of videos on YouTube recently.  A young guy with a guitar walks up to random strangers – typically young women – who are sitting in public and asks what their favorite song is.  Whatever they say, he plays and sings it for them.  He’s an above-average-looking guy, but his singing talent is very good.  The premise of his videos is the same every time, but I’ve found the people’s reactions to be quite fascinating.

First off, the people are always grateful for the impromptu mini-concert.  Obviously, they were not expecting to be serenaded by a random stranger with one of their favorite songs.  When he’s done playing, he gets up and wishes them a good rest of their day.  He doesn’t ask for anything or make any romantic advances.  Many tell him “thanks, you too” and that’s the end.  However, many of the young women are so shocked by his performance that you can watch them swoon over him as he plays and sings.  They stop whatever they’re doing and either begin to subconsciously adjust their outfit or start fiddling with their hair.

Now, whenever he serenades a couple, their reaction isn’t so much toward him as it is toward each other.  The song becomes a catalyst that brings them together, instead of drawing them in closer to the singer.  You can tell that their relationship buckets have been filled by each other – there is no room for anyone else.  The flip-side, though, with the young women who become instantly infatuated with this crooner would indicate that their relationship bucket is running near empty – and the sudden appearance of a talented guy who sings a part of a song for them makes them want more.  Many ask him for his Snap, phone number, or even if he’s available for coffee right then.  They don’t know anything about him or if he’s a quality person, but they are drawn away by the attention he’s unexpectedly given them.

And I don’t make these observations as a knock on these women, either.  I have known guys who are so starved for positive attention, that if a girl so much as smiles at them, they suddenly believe they have found “the one.”  Being in a relationship deficit can make any of us vulnerable to unexpected situations and cause us to overestimate the “good” of a person or situation.

A couple of days ago, I came across this proverb and instantly thought of these videos:

Proverbs 27:7
A person who is full tramples on a honeycomb,
but to a hungry person, any bitter thing is sweet.

The singer may be a great guy, but to the girl who is fulfilled in her relationship, she has no room for him, regardless of how talented he is.  However, to those who are relationally starved, they instantly craved more of his attention – even though they didn’t know if his companionship would be bitter or sweet.

From here, I couldn’t help but think about my relationship with God.  When He and I spend time together, I am so full relationally at a deep-soul-level that when distractions or temptations come my way, I am not swayed.  However, if I have been neglecting to spend time with Him – reading the Scriptures to find out about Him, praying to Him about what’s on my heart and asking to be shown what’s on His, and spending time in community with other believers – if I am not pursuing Him, then I am easily swayed and taken away by time wasters, twisted emotions, and self-centered thoughts.

When I find my “why” and purpose in the one who designed those things in me, I am too full of Him to be distracted by anything else.  God pursues relationship with us because that’s what He made us for – we are at our designed best when we are in full, intimate relationship with Him.  So, please take a practical step to engage with Him today.  Our best defense against a life of bitter substitutes isn’t to work harder to avoid them, but to be so full in our relationship with God that any substitute won’t satisfy.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

A sharpened life (part 2)

Last time, we looked at a commonly known verse that led us to some new insights about ourselves and our relationships:

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron,
and one person sharpens another.

Within the context of Proverbs, the sharpening that Solomon refers to is to become wise, to become skilled at life in a manner that is pleasing to God.  However, we can also learn a few things about becoming wise by thinking about the physical process of sharpening:

First, sharpening cannot be done with just one piece of iron.  Similarly, growing wise does not happen when a believer is flying solo, either.  We need other believers in our lives to sharpen us.

The Hebrew word for another means neighbor, friend, companion, or associate.  Read the proverb again, but slowly, and think about what it says with that definition:

Iron sharpens iron,
and one person sharpens their neighbor.
and one person sharpens their friend.
and one person sharpens their companion.
and one person sharpens their associate.

Each of these imply a relationship between two people, a stranger does not have the same sharpening effect on an individual’s life.  We know that is true from our own experience.  A godly friend who speaks regularly into our lives has a greater impact than a stranger who gives me a piece of his mind, or a speaker heard once at a conference, or even a pastor that preaches to me for 25 minutes every week.

The sharpening impact comes out of the relationship with another.

Secondly, sharpening isn’t a painless process.  There are sparks involved.  Whenever damaged or dulled sections of a blade are sharpened, iron is being forcefully removed or reshaped in order to make a useful, sharp edge.

Similarly, the sharpening process between two people isn’t always easy.  If I’m not willing to hear their encouragement to make the wise choice, or if I don’t want to accept their challenge of my thoughts and attitude – then sparks are going to fly between us. 

Another parallel to note is that when the sharpening process happens, the piece doing the sharpening is working with – and not against – the piece being sharpened.  It’s important for us to work with each other instead of trying to completely remake the person we’re partnering with. 

Do you have someone in your life that you have given verbal permission to sharpen you?  In order to apply Solomon’s wisdom, we must give someone permission to speak into our life AND we must be willing to work with them.

Are we willing to undergo the sharpening process?  That can be a hard question to wrestle with, especially since we know our major dull areas that need sharpening.  If you are hesitant (even a little), pray that God gives you the correct attitude.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Feeling stuck

We never purposely navigate into a bad situation.  We start new things with the expectation that they will bring opportunities or beneficial relationships – new job, new house, new love interest, new school.  But when the newness wears off, and the situation isn’t what you expected, what is your response?

Are you tempted to bail out?  But what if you can’t – you moved to a new state for this new job, or you signed a 30 year mortgage, or you want to follow through on your wedding vows, or you’ve already paid for your tuition.  Even if it’s hard to stay…oftentimes, it can become harder (in different ways) if you leave.  So, how do you feel? 

Stuck. 

Nobody likes the feeling of being trapped in a bad job, bad situation, or bad relationship.  How do you handle feeling “stuck”?

We’ve been looking at a psalm co-authored by Jeduthun and David.  As we progressed through the song, we see they are definitely stuck with opponents who are trying to take them down.  Let’s review what we’ve read so far:

Psalm 62:1-4
For the choir director: according to Jeduthun.  A psalm of David.

I am at rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my stronghold; I will never be shaken.

How long will you threaten a man?
Will all of you attack as if he were a leaning wall or a tottering fence?
They only plan to bring him down from his high position.
They take pleasure in lying;
they bless with their mouths, but they curse inwardly.
                                           Selah

And now for the next part of the psalm:

Psalm 62:5-6
Rest in God alone, my soul, for my hope comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my stronghold; I will not be shaken.

This is the main point of the psalm, so it certainly bears repeating…especially after looking at how the world often treats those who choose to follow God.

The only difference between this chorus in verses 5-6 and what we read in verses 1-2 is the replacement of the word salvation (seeing God as our deliverance from earthly enemies) with the word hope (seeing God as the source of our confident expectation).  With both words – salvation and hope – David is looking to God for what only God can do.

As we read these words, we realize that David is articulating the deepness of his relationship with God.  David knows God well enough that he can depend on Him, even when faced with malicious liars who want to see him fail.  It is because of the deepness of this relationship with God that David can make the strong statements like my soul finds rest in God alone and he alone is my rock, my salvation, my stronghold and I will not be shaken.

Do we have that same level of confidence in God to take care of our situation…or when other people are causing us trouble? 

Is God the first one we turn to when we feel stuck?

The kind of relationship David writes about didn’t happen overnight.  David’s confidence in God didn’t miraculously appear in the middle of his difficult situation.  There’s only one reason David can fully rely on God in this situation – because prior to this difficulty, he has purposely invested time to know God.

And therein lies the questions for our own application:

If I’m facing trouble now, have I told God that I trust Him with it?
or
If I’m not facing trouble right now, am I taking steps to stay close to Him so I’m ready when the difficulties come?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Who is responsible for peace?

Let’s begin by stating the obvious: Relationships are hard.

Why are they hard?  Because people are flawed, biased toward their own wants and desires.

Even the most introverted of us will admit that eventually they need some person-to-person interaction.  In contrast, our extroverts can’t imagine going more than an hour without interacting with another person.  But engaging in those interactions means that we risk dealing with pain, arguments, uncomfortable silence, offense, hurt feelings, unmet expectations, and plenty of other things we’d like to avoid.

We were made for relationship.  God created humans so that He could have a relationship with us.  We’re also made to connect with each other.  Although sin and selfishness have corrupted these bonds between “us and God” and “us and others”, they have not thwarted our desire for our original design.  But just because we want something, doesn’t mean that we’re necessarily good at it.  We need some guidance if we’re going to make these relationships grow and thrive.

So it comes to no surprise that in his letter to the believers in Rome, the Apostle Paul tells them:

Romans 12:18
If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

When we read that verse, it’s easy to nod in agreement.  Being at peace with others is a two-way street, and I can only be responsible for my side.  I can’t force anyone to be at peace with me.  And, let’s be honest, I have a lot of work to do in order to fully apply this verse, long before I expect it from others.

But I like to be practical.  I want to find ways to put the Word of God into practice.  It’s not enough to nod along.  As much as I agree that it’s better for me to live at peace with everyone and that I recognize how it depends on [me]…exactly how can I make this peace happen?

Fortunately, Jesus talked a lot about our relationships with each other.  There are many verses we could look at, but I want to focus in on two of them.

During His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said this:

Matthew 5:23-24
So if you are offering your gift on the altar, and there you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar.  First go and be reconciled with your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.

Jesus is quite clear here – if you are the offender, if you caused a rift between you and your brother or sister, then He expects you to go make it right.  Before doing anything else, go fix the relationship.  Even before interacting with God through your gifts, go address the offense. 

A little later, Jesus also taught this to His disciples:

Matthew 18:15
If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private.  If he listens to you, you have won your brother.

Now Jesus is saying if I’m the victim of my brother’s actions, I need to go work it out with him.  Maybe he didn’t realize that he sinned against me.  Maybe he knew exactly what he was doing.  Jesus doesn’t give that kind of qualifier here.  The direction is for me to provide correction and be hopeful that he listens.

When I put these two teachings side-by-side, this is what we end up with:

If I wronged my brother, I need to go work it out with him.
If my brother wronged me, I need to go work it out with him.

To be honest, this doesn’t sit well with me.  It feels like it should be an either/or situation.  So, which one is the right way to deal with conflict between me and my brother?

The answer: they’re both right.

As far as it depends on [me], live at peace with everyone.

There’s this two letter word tucked inside Jesus’ directions, regardless if we’re the offender or the offended – we are to go.  Go to them and work it out.  Go and reconcile.  Go and ask forgiveness.  Go extend the love that God has shown you.  Go and make peace.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

A make or break moment

Have you ever sensed that you were in a critical moment…and that your next words or actions were going to be hugely impactful for everyone going forward?  It’s in those moments you realize the potential damage that could be caused by the powder keg of emotions and authority.  We most commonly see these situations arise between parents and children, bosses and employees, and political leaders and citizens. 

Ancient Israel’s newest king, Rehoboam, found himself in this kind of situation soon after he succeeded his father Solomon.  While we mostly know of King Solomon’s reputation for wisdom and wealth, he also led massive building and upgrade projects across the nation of Israel, both for development and fortification.  To achieve these large-scale projects, Solomon had worked the people hard for decades.  After Rehoboam became king, the weary people wanted to know if he was going to bring more of the same or if the new king was willing to provide some relief.

1 Kings 12:3-6
the whole assembly of Israel came and spoke to Rehoboam: “Your father made our yoke harsh.  You, therefore, lighten your father’s harsh service and the heavy yoke he put on us, and we will serve you.”  Rehoboam replied, “Go away for three days and then return to me.”  So the people left.

Rehoboam knew that this was going to be a pivotal moment so early in his kingship.  He needed time and advice to determine how to respond.  First, he went to the elders who had served his father.  They would have personally known the history of King Solomon’s projects and the effort the people made over the years. 

1 Kings 12:7
They replied, “Today if you will be a servant to this people and serve them, and if you respond to them by speaking kind words to them, they will be your servants forever.”

Not liking what he heard, King Rehoboam asked for advice from the young men he had grown up with.  Their advice was in line with the bravado of youth.  During their lifetime, they had only observed the hard leadership style of King Solomon.  This was their response:

1 Kings 12:10-11
This is what you should tell them: ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist!  Although my father burdened you with a heavy yoke, I will add to your yoke; my father disciplined you with whips, but I will discipline you with barbed whips.’

Can you guess which advice he took?

In this make-or-break moment, Rehoboam chose the brashness of inexperienced leadership and, as a result, the people rebelled.  The 10 northern tribes formed their own country of Israel, and Rehoboam was left to rule over the tribes of Judah and Benjamin.  The 12 tribes never fully recovered from this…eventually, both Israel and Judah were defeated and exiled from the land.

Look back at what the people were asking Rehoboam to provide – a lightening of their work load.  They needed relief, and although the king had the authority to grant it, he chose not to.  Instead, he piled even more burdens on them.

This isn’t the first time I’ve read this story from Israel’s history.  It’s not the first time I’ve mentioned it in a blog post, either.  However, when reading through it this time, my mind jumped ahead to something Jesus said.  The people of the first century were worn down, both politically and spiritually.  Every new generation of rabbi had their own teaching and additions to a Jew’s religious responsibility…and the politicians were selfishly corrupt.  In the midst of this cultural climate, Jesus made the following offer:

Matthew 11:28-30
Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

Jesus’ offer was in stark contrast to how the nation’s leaders treated the people, but it was exactly what the people needed.  Ultimately, Jesus’ offer was what the Israelites were asking for from Rehoboam.

From here, my mind jumped ahead to today’s world.  People are still weary.  Life weighs heavy on us.  The events of our time, as seen through the non-stop news cycle, are always in front of us.  Burdens don’t seem to be getting any easier, and our political leaders aren’t providing relief. 

And what of Christianity’s reputation?  Don’t do this, you must do that.  You won’t be accepted until you promise to stop screwing up.  Thou shalt not.  Thou should do.  Repent.  Commit.  Give things up.  More.  And.  More.  Rules.  And.  Conditions.

But Jesus had no such qualifiers for His offer.  His rest is available, if we take Him up on His offer…just as we are.  Throughout the centuries, people have sought relief – Jesus is the only one who can both offer it and come through on His offer.

We need to make sure that we’re not making it harder to find Him because we burden others in ways that Jesus would not.  Learn from Him and then display the same grace to others.  You never know – it could be a make or break moment for them.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I've apologized, so now what?

I messed up at work this past week.  I behaved in a way that is very atypical for me – while I was leading an online team meeting, I forcefully corrected a coworker.  You know the type of “discussion” I’m talking about – the kind where an awkward pause hangs in the air and the meeting clunks along afterward.  While the message I delivered may have been necessary, there were three glaring things wrong with it – my tone was condescending, I’m not his manager, and it was done in a public forum (there were two other coworkers and our manager on the call as well). 

No matter how much I thought my message was needed and/or right for him to hear…it wasn’t for me to say – in that manner or in that place.  So I called him the next day, and let him tell me everything I did wrong, how it made him feel, and how I wasn’t his manager.  While I was able to explain my motivations, he (rightly) insisted that I didn’t have all the information to provide the kinds of comments that I did.  I apologized for overstepping my boundary of being a coworker and for doing so in a public setting.  We ended the call in a friendly manner, and both moved on with our day.  In the days since that conversation, I have separately apologized to our other coworkers who were on the call.  They, too, have accepted my apology.

While I don’t expect any lasting damage to our friendship or ability to work together, a little awkwardness is bound to hang around for a while.  How will the next meeting I lead be conducted?  If I speak forcefully about anything, even on topics or relationships outside our team, how will I be perceived?  It’s been said that it takes years to build a good reputation, but one moment has the power to destroy all those years of work.

I’ve apologized, so now what?

A few days ago, I was reading in Proverbs while eating breakfast.  I normally study from the CSB translation, but this time I happened to be reading from my old NIV 84.  Here’s what practically jumped out on the page:

Proverbs 16:6
Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for;
through the fear of the Lord a man avoids evil.

My application was, and is, obvious.  Going forward, I cannot be preoccupied with how my teammates perceive me.  Instead, to re-solidify their trust in me, my focus will be to treat each of them in a loving manner and faithfully perform my responsibilities for my team – just as I have in the past.  To avoid making the same mistakes, I need to have an interest in and a healthy respect for the Lord’s instructions.

Don’t misunderstand me here.  I am not saying that I need to work harder to better behave myself.  I did not act poorly because I wasn’t trying hard enough.  Instead, I had forgotten who I am.  James warned us about this:

James 1:22-24
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.  Do what it says.  Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.

Don’t read that the wrong way, look back at the text…the word is the mirror that reveals what we look like, it shows us who we really are.  In James’ illustration, the mirror isn’t there to reveal our flaws – instead it shows us who we are in Christ!  It’s when we forget what [we] look like that we become hearers and not doers.

Since I have believed in Jesus for eternal life, I am forever a child of the King of the Universe.  As a member of the family, my identity is with Him.  I will be able to remember this as I look to His word to be reminded of who I am…and as I remember my identity, I will naturally treat my coworkers with love and faithfulness.

Because that is who I truly am.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Is "happy" ok?

Have you ever noticed how divisive the word “happy” has become in Christian circles?

 It seems strange to even type that sentence, but I’ve heard preaching that said:
·       God wants you to be happy
·       Happiness is fleeting and based on circumstances, instead we should focus on being joyful
·       “Happy Christians” aren’t serious about their faith, they’re just focused on “playing nice”
·       Pursuing happiness in this life is shallow theology
·       We shouldn’t find happiness in our stuff
·       We should be happy and grateful for the stuff God gives us
·       Happiness is a symptom, not the goal

Overall, I’d say the majority of Christian teaching I’ve been exposed to has generally said that happiness – as a pursuit or priority – is a bad thing for a believer.  To sum up what I heard taught:

Happiness is considered too shallow for those who are spiritual and godly; instead, we should focus on God’s more significant desires.  And if by doing those more significant things for God, you become happy or even stoically joyful, then that’s alright…but don’t expect God to be directly interested in making sure you feel “happy”.

And then, I open my CSB translation study Bible and read the first verse of the first psalm:

Psalm 1:1
How happy is the one who does not
walk in the advice of the wicked or
stand in the pathway with sinners or
sit in the company of mockers!

Hrm…how about that? 

Sure looks like God considers happiness as a good thing…and it appears to be a positive result when we make wise choices about the relationships we keep.

But let’s dig a little deeper, shall we?  When I look up the Hebrew word for happy (ashre), I find that the Greek equivalent (makarios) is found in Jesus’ beatitudes in the Sermon on the Mount.  You know, the teaching where Jesus repeatedly said “Blessed are those who…”?  Well, you could legitimately go to Matthew 5:3-11, substitute in the word “happy”, and read “Happy are those who…”.

In Hebrew, happy (ashre) is defined as heightened state of joy, implying very favorable circumstances and enjoyment.  When used, the word also suggests a state of prosperity or happiness from a superior bestowed on another.  It also seems to contain a congratulatory element.

With this Hebrew-usage definition, we understand that God gives happiness as a reward for making wise choices.  He gives His favor to those who have done well.  If we take this definition, and place it in the context of Psalm 1:1, we are told where our happiness and God’s favor is definitely not found:

Psalm 1:1
How happy is the one who does not
walk in the advice of the wicked or
stand in the pathway with sinners or
sit in the company of mockers!

Three levels of person-to-person interaction are presented – each one details a level of relationship we can have with anyone.  As the psalm continues, the relationships become more intense.  We move from a being casually influenced by ungodly people to being someone who shares life with those who show contempt and scorn for God and His ways.

The three activities listed – counsel, way, and company – point out that the righteous are to avoid thinking like, behaving like, and dealing with the wicked.  If you are not characterized by evil influence, then you are happy – because you are in right relationship with God and He rewards those who pursue His ways.

This isn’t the only time God gave the Israelites this kind of warning, either.  Here’s just one example:

Proverbs 4:14-15
Keep off the path of the wicked; don’t proceed on the way of evil ones.
Avoid it; don’t travel on it.
Turn away from it, and pass it by.

Of course, the psalmist was not telling the Israelites to form a holy huddle and exclude all non-Israelites from their lives (even Paul recognized the impossibility of Christians doing so in 1 Corinthians 5:9-10).  The warning here is to not be influenced by those by who are not following God’s path.

Perhaps we can sum up Psalm 1:1 like this:

Don’t rely on the ungodly for what only God can provide.  Happiness is not found in a wicked person’s advice, lifestyle, or company.

As we continue through the psalm, we’ll see what we need to do in order to find and maintain this God-bestowed happiness.  But for starters, let’s make sure we are avoiding the things that we know will not bring us God’s favor.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Round 2: A 911 call to Jesus

Thankfully, I have good news.

My wife’s hysterectomy went well. She is resting and recovering at home. God has certainly been answering the prayers lifted up for a successful surgery and good pain management. Now we wait for the pathology report to find out if the cancer had spread beyond her uterus.

We hope and pray for - what we define as - a good outcome: that the cancer was contained and that the surgery removed it all. However, as I am reminded by the post below, our plan for healing isn’t always the same as what God has in-store for us. So, we continue to trust. We continue to wait. We know that He hears our prayers…but we will leave the answer to those prayers up to Him.

A 911 call to Jesus
originally posted on July 5, 2018.

We’ve all been there.  At some point in our lives, the situation is so bad that we feel like we have no where else to turn.  Maybe it is a diagnosis, a car accident, or even a prolonged illness…but we’ve tried everything we know to do to cope, and the only thing left is to hope that God does a miracle.

That’s where we find the people in this story from Jesus’ life.  Two sisters and their brother, all loved by Jesus.  They have an established relationship with each other.  By all indications, Jesus has even stayed at their house, possibly several times.  But something bad has happened to their brother, and the sisters can’t do anything else about it:

John 11:1-3
Now a man was sick, Lazarus from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha.  Mary was the one who anointed the Lord with perfume and wiped His feet with her hair, and it was her brother Lazarus who was sick.  So the sisters sent a message to Him: “Lord the one you love is sick.”

Let’s stop here and think about logistics for a moment.  How did they get in touch with Jesus?  According to the text at the end of chapter 10, Jesus wasn’t in Bethany.  Instead, he was a couple days’ journey away.  Martha and Mary couldn’t text or call to ask Him to come to Bethany or to even find out exactly where He was at the moment.  Someone had to physically make the long journey to go to the last place Jesus was known to be, and then go searching for Him from there. 

How time-consuming and risky!  They would have no guarantee of Jesus still being where He was before or that the messenger would end up asking the right person who knew where Jesus and His disciples had gone to next.  Going to this effort only underscores how sick Lazarus really was.  Mary and Martha must have believed that their brother would not live without some sort of divine intervention.

But also keep in mind that Jesus had performed long-distance healing miracles before.  Jesus healed the servant of a Roman centurion without even entering the house.  Jesus then publicly praised the centurion for his faith in Jesus’ authority.  You can read about it in Luke 7:1-10.  Surely, the sisters thought, if Jesus was willing to heal a complete stranger, who was the servant of a leader in a foreign army that was occupying Israel…then without a doubt Jesus would heal a fellow countryman that He knew and loved, right?

We don’t know how long it took, but the messenger did eventually find Jesus:

John 11:4-5
When Jesus heard it, he said, “This sickness will not end in death but is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”

Now Jesus loved Martha, her sister, and Lazarus.

The messenger and the disciples likely thought Jesus’ statement meant that Lazarus wouldn’t die.  I’m sure they all took some measure of comfort from thinking this.  However, as the story continues, we will see that Lazarus did die from his illness.  Jesus was still right, though – Lazarus’ sickness did not end in death, but death was part of God’s plan this time.

We need to stop here and wrestle with a few observations, even if they are uncomfortable:

·       Sometimes, God allows really bad things to happen to people, even ones He loves.
·       Just because God healed someone else doesn’t mean healing is coming in the same way for us.
·       God performing healing miracles is more about the glory of God than it is about our preference for comfort.

We trust that God hears us when we pray.  We trust that He loves us.  However, just because those two things are true does not mean that He will swoop in and respond in the way that we think He should fix everything. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken