A Hall of Famer’s biggest regret

I’ve loved watching NFL football and the Kansas City Chiefs since I was a kid in the early 90s.  One of the Chiefs’ biggest rivals has always been the Denver Broncos.  There have been epic, back-and-forth matchups between the two teams over the years, with superstars and Hall of Fame-level players on both sides.  While I may not care much for Broncos players when they’re playing, I’ve always maintained a level of grudging respect for their good players.

However, one player always bugged me.  I never liked his attitude, his mouth, or the fact that he was so stinkin’ good – his name was Shannon Sharpe, and he played the Tight End position.  He’d talk trash, back it up, and then talk some more.  He never stopped talking, and his persona was always larger-than-life.  On the field, he was close to unstoppable.  He was the first TE to reach over 10,000 receiving yards, and he won 3 Superbowl Championships in his career.  Life was much easier for my Chiefs once he retired in 2003, after playing for 14 seasons.  He was elected to the ProFootball Hall of Fame in 2011.

During an interview in the spring of 2023, Shannon Sharpe was asked an interesting question, and his answer was much more transparent than I expected.  He was asked “What advice would you go back and give yourself as a rookie?”

Here is his reply:

What would I tell myself?

I don't know. Honestly guys, from the time that I made it [to the NFL], everything was about football. I ate, I slept, I breathed, I talked football.  And I think…I was terrible at a lot of things, except football. I was terrible at being a brother, terrible at being a son. I was terrible at being a father. I was terrible at being a boyfriend.

I was terrible at all of those, but I was a damn good football player.

Probably…I wish I could, look, I would go back, if I could tell my rookie self…I would say, “the way you judge success” because everything that I look at now is judged by success.

And that's the only thing. And so even my relationships now, here I am about to be double nickel [55] in about four months, is still judged by success. And so I would say, “Shannon, everything that you've accomplished doesn't mean anything, because you don't have anybody to share it with.”

That's what I would tell myself. I would do it…if I would do it over again. I would find that one person [to share life with]…and that's what I would do.

Of all the things he could have told himself as a rookie – the most important message he wanted to send back is that our relationships are the top, lasting priority.  You can hear his regret as he spoke about all the relationships he was “terrible” at.  Despite all the fame, money, and football glory he enjoyed…the missing link, as he sees it now, was a wife to share it with.

His comments bring to mind a few Scriptures:

Genesis 2:18, 24
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper corresponding to him.”…This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.

Proverbs 31:10
Who can find a wife of noble character?
She is far more precious than jewels.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-11
Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts.  For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.  Also if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one person alone keep warm?

God made us to be relational beings – we really do need each other.  We were created to have a spouse, and there is a strong desire in us to find that special, unique connection between a man and a woman.  Unfortunately, we’re often bad a recognizing how much of a priority this connection needs to be.  We let many things get in the way, but the value of having “someone to share life with” surpasses all other achievements, awards, or personal experiences. 

I encourage you to ask yourself the following hard questions:

What priority-level do relationships have in my life?
If they should be a higher priority, what immediate steps will I take to fix that?
If I believe they are prioritized correctly, what am I actively doing to keep them there?

Don’t get to the point where you look back on your life and realize that all your “success” wasn’t very successful because you failed to prioritize your relationships along the way.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Pause on prayers and regrets

There’s a running joke in Christianity that says you should never ask God for patience, because if you do, you’ll hit every red light, you’ll be late for everything, and no one will behave like you expect them to.  “Ask God for patience,” you’re warned, “and you’ll regret it!”

But have you ever asked God for something and later regretted asking Him?  Maybe you asked God for something, but you never received it, so you felt guilty for asking in the first place.  It could have been a relationship with who you thought was “The One”, that “perfect” job opportunity, or public recognition…and they didn’t turn out the way you wanted. 

There’s a flip side to this also – what if God answers your request, but not in the way you were expecting? 

My wife is a good example.  When our boys were young, rambunctious, and not yet in school, my wife was struggling.  She knew that she needed to carve out time for herself.  She wanted to spend that time with God.  But little boys do not make it easy to schedule quiet time.  So she prayed about it, asking God to help her find/make/squirrel away some time where she could read the Bible, pray, and just breathe for 15 or 30 minutes.   

God answered her prayer…but He did it in a way that neither of us anticipated.  During one doctor appointment, she described her struggles and how she was feeling – and, based on their discussion, the doc diagnosed her with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).  At the time, we lived in a very cloudy city that didn’t get much sun throughout the winter months.  So her doctor prescribed blue light therapy, meaning that she had to sit with a blue light to help with her mood and sleeping patterns.  Suddenly, she had 30 minutes to kill every morning as a blue light box shined across her face.  She got the result she asked God for, but certainly not delivered in a manner she would have chosen.

The moment in Scripture that we’re going to pause on was filled with tension and sorrow.  Jesus was slowly dying as His naked, beaten body hung from the cross.  For the handful of followers who watched, it must have been gut-wrenching to see Him like that.  Among those who were brave enough to risk being seen there, Matthew noted the following:

Matthew 27:55-56
Many women who had followed Jesus from Galilee and looked after Him were there, watching from a distance.  Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of Zebedee’s sons.

This may seem like an odd moment to pause on, but we need to focus in on the unnamed woman who is listed last: the mother of Zebedee’s sons.  Both of her boys – James and John – were Jesus’ disciples.  And not just any disciples, but they were also part of Jesus’ inner circle, typically mentioned as Peter, James, and John.  Yeah, those were her boys.  They were among the first disciples chosen and they had followed Him everywhere.  Their mother also believed that Jesus was the promised Messiah.  But as she watched her Messiah slowly die on that cross, how could her mind not flashback to this recent scene?

Matthew 20:20-23
Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons approached [Jesus] with her sons.  She knelt down to ask Him for something.  “What do you want?” He asked her.

“Promise,” she said to Him, “that these two sons of mine may sit, one on your right and the other on your left, in your kingdom.”

Jesus answered, “You don’t know what you’re asking.  Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?”

“We are able,” they said to Him

He told them, “You will indeed drink my cup, but to sit at my right and left is not mine to give; instead, it is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.”

Whoever sat at a ruler’s right hand held the top position, while the ruler’s second in command would sit at his left.  In effect, the mother was asking Jesus to ensure that her boys were placed in the top spots in His kingdom.  Notice that Jesus did not rebuke her for asking, nor did he reprimand James and John for desiring those positions.  However, all three of them were unaware of what such lofty positions would cost.

In Scripture, to drink from a “cup” is figurative for following a divinely appointed path or outcome, in the form of a blessing, wrath, punishment, or, in Jesus’ case, His upcoming suffering.  While Jesus could not promise the top positions, He warned the brothers that to have an opportunity for that honor, they must be prepared to suffer as He would soon suffer.

After their meeting, the other disciples found out and were not happy about the mother’s request:

Matthew 20:24-28
When the ten disciples heard this, they became indignant with the two brothers.  Jesus called them over and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those in high positions act as tyrants over them.  It must not be like that among you.  On the contrary, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.

The path to greatness is paved with service to others.  Jesus will rightfully rule in His kingdom because He suffered the most and served the most.  The seats at His right and His left have been prepared for those who similarly serve.  There is nothing wrong with desiring the high positions in Jesus’ kingdom, but those seats come at a high price – a “cup” of suffering service.

Back at the cross, what was James’ and John’s mother thinking about?  How did she feel, watching Jesus die, knowing that after her petition, Jesus said her boys would drink from the same cup?

Did she regret her request?
Did she desire to somehow protect her boys from the same horrific path?
Did she still trust Jesus when He said that being great actually means sacrificially serving others?

Those are good questions for us to wrestle with, as well.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - When we don't learn God's lessons

I really hate it when I have to relearn lessons - in school, at work, for life in general. What do we do when don’t get it right the first time…or the second time…or the fourteenth time?

After so many failings, we often think that God is ready to give up on us - because, let’s face it, we’re ready to give up on us. But is that really the case with God?

When we don't learn God's lessons
originally posted on May 24, 2018

Hard times are called that for a reason…they’re hard to deal with.  But the author of Hebrews gave his readers a better perspective on how to handle the difficult times in life:

Hebrews 12:7, 11
Endure suffering as discipline: God is dealing with you as sons.  For what son is there that a father does not discipline?...No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

And yet I wonder…What happens when we don’t embrace God’s discipline?  What happens when we refuse to learn the lessons God is trying to teach us?

When we look back in Scripture, we find this theme of God instructing His people repeated, over and over.  Below is just one example of what He said to the Israelites after they had spurned Him and His ways.  In Hebrews, the end result of God’s teaching is the peaceful fruit of righteousness.  Keep an eye out for that here:

Isaiah 48:17
This is what the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel says:

I am the Lord your God,
who teaches you for your benefit,
Who leads you in the way you should go.

If only you had paid attention to my commands.
Then your peace would have been like a river,
and your righteousness like the waves of the sea.

Your descendants would have been as countless as the sand,
and the offspring of your body like its grains;
their name would not be cut off or eliminated from my presence.

God says His teaching would have resulted in peace as steady and calm like a river, and righteousness that is as massive and powerful like the waves of the sea.  What a beautiful (almost paradoxical) comparison…imagine your life…where you handle any/all situations with calmness and peace, and your life’s actions are so undeniably in tune with God’s plan for living that you move with power as your righteousness positively affects the people around you.  A life like that would be a huge comfort to us personally and even more so to those around us.

But let’s be honest…we know that we cannot grow to that level on our own.  So God offers to intentionally teach the Israelites how to be this way – how to reflect Him to the world.  It’s the same offer in our Hebrews passage, where God is training us to produce the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

Teaching, training, and developing His people was God’s intention for the Israelites – both individually and as a nation.  It’s also His intention for us – both individually and as the church. 

But, like the Israelites, we are
hard-headed
stubborn
selfish
slow to trust God
slow to learn
prone to really messing things up
afraid

The Israelites rebelled so many times and ran so far from God, that He allowed their nation to be overtaken and plundered by other nations.  By the time they got to that point in their history, they certainly were not experiencing peace or righteousness themselves.  In addition, God says the course of the following generations was also affected – their families’ descendants and offspring were heavily impacted by the foreign invasion, to the point where family names and bloodlines were cut off or eliminated.

And when we look objectively back at the times we’ve stiff-armed God, trying to keep Him at arm’s length, we can still see some of the lasting effects in our lives and the lives of our family.  Perhaps we even say to ourselves like what was said about the Israelites: if only I had payed attention to God’s commands.  Regret and depression are heavy burdens…and we are unable to undo the past.  What do we do now?

Look back at the Isaiah passage.  Right at the top, how does God describe Himself?

Your Redeemer.

He is the one who buys back, delivers, and protects those who cannot do so for themselves.  The ones who have messed up beyond what they could ever fix or repay…they find rescue in Him. 

Yes, there were heavy consequences for how far the nation of Israel ran from God – but He did not abandon them.  Yes, God disciplines His church – but we’re still part of His family.  Our loving father is also our redeemer.  He loves us enough to show us how to live rightly, how to live well.

Even if we don’t get it right the first time.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - When we don't learn God's lessons

When we don’t learn God’s lessons
originally posted on May 24, 2018

Hard times are called that for a reason…they’re hard to deal with.  But the author of Hebrews gave his readers a better perspective on how to handle the difficult times in life:

Hebrews 12:7, 11
Endure suffering as discipline: God is dealing with you as sons.  For what son is there that a father does not discipline?...No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

And yet I wonder…What happens when we don’t embrace God’s discipline?  What happens when we refuse to learn the lessons God is trying to teach us?

When we look back in Scripture, we find this theme of God instructing His people repeatedly, over and over.  Below is just one example of what He said to the Israelites after they had spurned Him and His ways.  In Hebrews, the end result of God’s teaching is the peaceful fruit of righteousness.  Keep an eye out for that here:

Isaiah 48:17
This is what the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel says:

I am the Lord your God,
who teaches you for your benefit,
Who leads you in the way you should go.

If only you had paid attention to my commands.
Then your peace would have been like a river,
and your righteousness like the waves of the sea.

Your descendants would have been as countless as the sand,
and the offspring of your body like its grains;
their name would not be cut off or eliminated from my presence.

God says His teaching would have resulted in peace as steady and calm like a river, and righteousness that is as massive and powerful like the waves of the sea.  What a beautiful (almost paradoxical) comparison…imagine your life…where you handle any/all situations with calmness and peace, and your life’s actions are so undeniably in tune with God’s plan for living that you move with power as your righteousnesspositively affects the people around you.  A life like that would be a huge comfort to us personally and even more so to those around us.

But let’s be honest…we know that we cannot grow to that level on our own.  So God offers to intentionally teach the Israelites how to be this way – how to reflect Him to the world.  It’s the same offer in our Hebrews passage, where God is training us to produce the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

Teaching, training, and developing His people was God’s intention for the Israelites – both individually and as a nation.  It’s also His intention for us – both individually and as the church. 

But, like the Israelites, we are
hard-headed
stubborn
selfish
slow to trust God
slow to learn
prone to really messing things up
afraid

The Israelites rebelled so many times and ran so far from God, that He allowed their nation to be overtaken and plundered by other nations.  By the time Isaiah came along, they certainly were not experiencing peace or righteousness themselves.  In addition, God says the course of the following generations was also affected – their families’ descendants and offspring were heavily impacted by the foreign invasion, to the point where family names and bloodlines were cut off or eliminated.

And when we look objectively back at the times we’ve stiff-armed God, trying to keep Him at arm’s length, we can still see some of the lasting effects in our lives and the lives of our family.  Perhaps we even say to ourselves like what was said about the Israelites: if only I had payed attention to God’s commands.  Regret and depression are heavy burdens…and we are unable to undo the past.  What do we do now?

Look back at the Isaiah passage.  Right at the top, how does God describe Himself?

Your Redeemer.

He is the one who buys back, delivers, and protects those who cannot do so for themselves.  The ones who have messed up beyond what they could ever fix or repay…they find rescue in Him. 

Yes, there were heavy consequences for how far the nation of Israel ran from God – but He did not abandon them.  Yes, God disciplines His church – but we’re still part of His family.  Our loving father is also our redeemer.  He loves us enough to show us how to live rightly, how to live well.

Even if we don’t get it right the first time.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

When we don't learn God's lessons

Hard times are called that for a reason…they’re hard to deal with.  But the author of Hebrews gave his readers a better perspective on how to handle the difficult times in life:

Hebrews 12:7, 11
Endure suffering as discipline: God is dealing with you as sons.  For what son is there that a father does not discipline?...No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

And yet I wonder…What happens when we don’t embrace God’s discipline?  What happens when we refuse to learn the lessons God is trying to teach us?

When we look back in Scripture, we find this theme of God instructing His people repeated, over and over.  Below is just one example of what He said to the Israelites after they had spurned Him and His ways.  In Hebrews, the end result of God’s teaching is the peaceful fruit of righteousness.  Keep an eye out for that here:

Isaiah 48:17
This is what the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel says:

I am the Lord your God,
who teaches you for your benefit,
Who leads you in the way you should go.

If only you had paid attention to my commands.
Then your peace would have been like a river,
and your righteousness like the waves of the sea.

Your descendants would have been as countless as the sand,
and the offspring of your body like its grains;
their name would not be cut off or eliminated from my presence.

God says His teaching would have resulted in peace as steady and calm like a river, and righteousness that is as massive and powerful like the waves of the sea.  What a beautiful (almost paradoxical) comparison…imagine your life…where you handle any/all situations with calmness and peace, and your life’s actions are so undeniably in tune with God’s plan for living that you move with power as your righteousness positively affects the people around you.  A life like that would be a huge comfort to us personally and even more so to those around us.

But let’s be honest…we know that we cannot grow to that level on our own.  So God offers to intentionally teach the Israelites how to be this way – how to reflect Him to the world.  It’s the same offer in our Hebrews passage, where God is training us to produce the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

Teaching, training, and developing His people was God’s intention for the Israelites – both individually and as a nation.  It’s also His intention for us – both individually and as the church. 

But, like the Israelites, we are
hard-headed
stubborn
selfish
slow to trust God
slow to learn
prone to really messing things up
afraid

The Israelites rebelled so many times and ran so far from God, that He allowed their nation to be overtaken and plundered by other nations.  By the time they got to that point in their history, they certainly were not experiencing peace or righteousness themselves.  In addition, God says the course of the following generations was also affected – their families’ descendants and offspring were heavily impacted by the foreign invasion, to the point where family names and bloodlines were cut off or eliminated.

And when we look objectively back at the times we’ve stiff-armed God, trying to keep Him at arm’s length, we can still see some of the lasting effects in our lives and the lives of our family.  Perhaps we even say to ourselves like what was said about the Israelites: if only I had payed attention to God’s commands.  Regret and depression are heavy burdens…and we are unable to undo the past.  What do we do now?

Look back at the Isaiah passage.  Right at the top, how does God describe Himself?

Your Redeemer.

He is the one who buys back, delivers, and protects those who cannot do so for themselves.  The ones who have messed up beyond what they could ever fix or repay…they find rescue in Him. 

Yes, there were heavy consequences for how far the nation of Israel ran from God – but He did not abandon them.  Yes, God disciplines His church – but we’re still part of His family.  Our loving father is also our redeemer.  He loves us enough to show us how to live rightly, how to live well.

Even if we don’t get it right the first time.

Keep Pressing,
Ken
 

Timing

Titus 1:1-3 Paul, a servant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ for the faith of God’s elect and the knowledge of the truth that leads to godliness – a faith and knowledge resting on the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time, and at his appointed season he brought his word to light through the preaching entrusted to me by the command of God our Savior

Timing.  We all struggle with it.  When we’re young, we want to be older.  When we’re older, we pine away for our younger days.  We get impatient that we aren’t married yet, or don’t have our dream job yet, or sourly reminisce about the opportunity we foolishly missed out on.

The most common deathbed regret is the lack of risk-taking during one’s life…that they wish they would have taken the chance to ask out that girl, or to start a certain business, or to actually tell their kids how much they really loved them.  Given the opportunity, we would rewrite our life’s history in a heartbeat.  The chances not taken, the words unspoken…or maybe we would take back the times we really messed up.  We all have moments like that, and they act like thorns in our memories and in our hearts.

But since time is linear, and we have to live in it…we can’t change the past, nor do we really know what the future holds.  While that may scare us when we honestly think about it, we have no choice but to live in the present and make the best of where we’re at in this moment in time.

But what makes me smile, what gives me hope, is found in verses 2-3, that

…God, who does not lie, promised [eternal life] before the beginning of time, and at his appointed season he brought his word to light…

When we look at the “timing words” in these verses, we find that God doesn’t work within time like we are forced to.  We see that God made a promise before the beginning of time, and that he has appointed seasons already planned ahead.

No mistakes.  No missed opportunities.  All according to his plan.

There is a ton of comfort when we meditate on this one simple truth – that God knows the beginning from the end, he’s planned it out…and therefore

He’s not surprised by life – even when we are

He’s not missing opportunities – like we have

He sees human history in seasons – and he works within those seasons

at his appointed season he brought his word to light through the preaching entrusted to me by the command of God our Savior

God chose the specific time in human history that Christ would sacrifice himself.  He met Paul at just the right moment, the exact right season, in order to reach him with the truth.  Since Paul accepted Christ as who he is – the Son of God and the Savior of our sins – Paul was then able to fulfill the mission God had chosen him for at that point in history. 

God also meets each of us at the exact right time in our lives.  After we accept Christ for who he is, we also have a mission for this season of history – to introduce those around us to him.  We can even use verse 3 as a template:

At [God’s] appointed season he brought his word to light through the __________ entrusted to me

How will you fill in the blank?

Keep Pressing,
Ken