Does God ever say no?

Within the last 10 years, I’ve heard a strange argument about the responses God gives when we pray.  The pastor/teacher/author makes the claim that – whatever we ask in prayer – God gives us 1 of 3 responses…and none of them are the word “No”.

The first time I heard this, it caused me to turn my head at an angle, raise an eyebrow, and immediately think, “What?”  The pastor went on to explain the three responses God gives to prayer are “Yes”, “Wait”, and “I have something better”.  Explaining the last answer, the pastor argued that instead of flat-out rejecting our prayer request, God’s Will/God’s Best for our lives means that He knows the request we have isn’t in our best interests – even if we, in this prayerful moment, think it is.

Overall, it seems to makes sense.  I may tell my child “no” when he asks for a piece of candy in the afternoon…not because I’m against him ever having candy, but it’s because I know (and he doesn’t) that we’re going for ice cream after dinner.  If my son asks for a tiger cub, it’s not going to happen – because his safety is more important than looking cool when he tells his friends about the new family pet.

So does God really never tell us “No” because He always has something better for us?  Like I said, it seems to make sense…until I read this story from David’s life:

1 Chronicles 17:1
When David had settled into his palace, he said to the prophet Nathan, “Look!  I am living in a cedar house while the ark of the Lord’s covenant is under tent curtains.”

David’s concern was that while he was living lavishly through God’s blessings, protection, and battlefield victories, by comparison, the official meeting place for Israel with God was still in a portable tent from the ancient times.  David recognized the inequity and wanted to build a temple that sufficiently proclaimed God’s greatness to His people.  David desired a good thing; however, God told the prophet Nathan to give David a very specific message about his desire to build a house for God:

1 Chronicles 17:4, 11-12
“Go to David my servant and say, ‘This is what the Lord says: You are not the one to build Me a house to dwell in…when your time comes to be with your fathers, I will raise up after you your descendant, who is one of your own sons, and I will establish his kingdom.  He is the one who will build a house for Me, and I will establish his throne forever.”

That sounds a lot like a “No” to me.  God did not want David to build the temple; instead, his son Solomon (who was not yet born) would have that honor.  In addition to one of David’s sons building the temple, God did promise to establish David’s kingdom lineage, which is a HUGE promise (and you can read the details of God’s promise and David’s full response in 1 Chronicles 17)…however…David was still not permitted to build a house for God.

That seems kinda strange to me.  Why wouldn’t He let David, the one described as “a man after God’s own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14), build God a temple suitable to proclaim God’s greatness and serve as God’s meeting place with the nation that David helped form? 

We find the answer a number of years later, when David is explaining his temple dreams to Solomon:

1 Chronicles 22:6-10
Then [David] summoned his son Solomon and charged him to build a house for the Lord God of Israel.  “My son,” David said to Solomon, “It was in my heart to build a house for the name of the Lord my God, but the word of the Lord came to me:

‘You have shed much blood and waged great wars.  You are not to build a house for My name because you have shed so much blood on the ground before Me.  But a son will be born to you; he will be a man of rest.  I will give him rest from all his surrounding enemies, for his name will be Solomon (the name “Solomon” sounds like the Hebrew word for “peace”), and I will give peace and quiet to Israel during his reign.  He is the one who will build a house for My name.  He will be My son, and I will be his father.  I will establish the throne of his kingdom over Israel forever.’

David was very much the “warrior king” who shed a lot of blood on the battlefield as he fought for Israel’s territory.  As such, God saw David’s history as incompatible with building a place of worship.  Instead, if a temple was to be built, God wanted His temple to be constructed during peaceful times rather than built on the immediate spoils of war. 

This says a lot about the character of God and how He wants to be represented to the world.  The legacy of the temple’s builder would influence the perception of the temple and the reputation of God among the people.  If the building was known as “David’s temple”, then memories of war and bloodshed would be associated with the building where the Israelites encountered God.  Instead, the building is referred to as “Solomon’s temple”, underscoring the time of peace when it was constructed and the vast wisdom associated with Solomon.  Looking at the Bible as a whole, we find significantly more instances of God engaging humanity through peace and wisdom than we encounter Him via war and bloodshed.

In the end, God telling David “No” wasn’t about God having “something better” for David.  Instead, God chose the builder that was better to represent Him and His reputation.  God’s choosing of us for a task or service or not choosing us for a task or service is something we have to wrestle with.  Even if we really want to do a particular action for God, He may choose someone else.  So, how do we deal with that?

David is a good example of how we can handle God telling us “No”.  Instead of pouting, withdrawing, or getting angry with God for not letting him do the good thing he wanted to do…David did everything he could to support Solomon’s temple building activity.  It would be a massive project that would ultimately take seven years to complete.  Here’s what David told Solomon:

1 Chronicles 22:14-16
Notice I have taken great pains to provide for the house of the Lord – 3,775 tons of gold, 37,750 tons of silver, and bronze and iron that can’t be weighed because there is so much of it.  I have also provided timber and stone, but you will need to add more to them.  You also have many workers: stonecutters, masons, carpenters, and people skilled in every kind of work in gold, silver, bronze, and iron – beyond number.  Now begin the work, and may the Lord be with you.

Maybe there’s work you’ve always wanted to do for God, but through your own life choices or by God’s timing, you have not been able to do it.  However, there are lots of ministries doing really good work that could use your help.  We would be wise to consider the possibility that instead of us personally leading the charge, we can better serve God by taking great pains to support those whom He has chosen to handle these projects.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Pause on prayers and regrets

There’s a running joke in Christianity that says you should never ask God for patience, because if you do, you’ll hit every red light, you’ll be late for everything, and no one will behave like you expect them to.  “Ask God for patience,” you’re warned, “and you’ll regret it!”

But have you ever asked God for something and later regretted asking Him?  Maybe you asked God for something, but you never received it, so you felt guilty for asking in the first place.  It could have been a relationship with who you thought was “The One”, that “perfect” job opportunity, or public recognition…and they didn’t turn out the way you wanted. 

There’s a flip side to this also – what if God answers your request, but not in the way you were expecting? 

My wife is a good example.  When our boys were young, rambunctious, and not yet in school, my wife was struggling.  She knew that she needed to carve out time for herself.  She wanted to spend that time with God.  But little boys do not make it easy to schedule quiet time.  So she prayed about it, asking God to help her find/make/squirrel away some time where she could read the Bible, pray, and just breathe for 15 or 30 minutes.   

God answered her prayer…but He did it in a way that neither of us anticipated.  During one doctor appointment, she described her struggles and how she was feeling – and, based on their discussion, the doc diagnosed her with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).  At the time, we lived in a very cloudy city that didn’t get much sun throughout the winter months.  So her doctor prescribed blue light therapy, meaning that she had to sit with a blue light to help with her mood and sleeping patterns.  Suddenly, she had 30 minutes to kill every morning as a blue light box shined across her face.  She got the result she asked God for, but certainly not delivered in a manner she would have chosen.

The moment in Scripture that we’re going to pause on was filled with tension and sorrow.  Jesus was slowly dying as His naked, beaten body hung from the cross.  For the handful of followers who watched, it must have been gut-wrenching to see Him like that.  Among those who were brave enough to risk being seen there, Matthew noted the following:

Matthew 27:55-56
Many women who had followed Jesus from Galilee and looked after Him were there, watching from a distance.  Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of Zebedee’s sons.

This may seem like an odd moment to pause on, but we need to focus in on the unnamed woman who is listed last: the mother of Zebedee’s sons.  Both of her boys – James and John – were Jesus’ disciples.  And not just any disciples, but they were also part of Jesus’ inner circle, typically mentioned as Peter, James, and John.  Yeah, those were her boys.  They were among the first disciples chosen and they had followed Him everywhere.  Their mother also believed that Jesus was the promised Messiah.  But as she watched her Messiah slowly die on that cross, how could her mind not flashback to this recent scene?

Matthew 20:20-23
Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons approached [Jesus] with her sons.  She knelt down to ask Him for something.  “What do you want?” He asked her.

“Promise,” she said to Him, “that these two sons of mine may sit, one on your right and the other on your left, in your kingdom.”

Jesus answered, “You don’t know what you’re asking.  Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?”

“We are able,” they said to Him

He told them, “You will indeed drink my cup, but to sit at my right and left is not mine to give; instead, it is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.”

Whoever sat at a ruler’s right hand held the top position, while the ruler’s second in command would sit at his left.  In effect, the mother was asking Jesus to ensure that her boys were placed in the top spots in His kingdom.  Notice that Jesus did not rebuke her for asking, nor did he reprimand James and John for desiring those positions.  However, all three of them were unaware of what such lofty positions would cost.

In Scripture, to drink from a “cup” is figurative for following a divinely appointed path or outcome, in the form of a blessing, wrath, punishment, or, in Jesus’ case, His upcoming suffering.  While Jesus could not promise the top positions, He warned the brothers that to have an opportunity for that honor, they must be prepared to suffer as He would soon suffer.

After their meeting, the other disciples found out and were not happy about the mother’s request:

Matthew 20:24-28
When the ten disciples heard this, they became indignant with the two brothers.  Jesus called them over and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those in high positions act as tyrants over them.  It must not be like that among you.  On the contrary, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave; just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.

The path to greatness is paved with service to others.  Jesus will rightfully rule in His kingdom because He suffered the most and served the most.  The seats at His right and His left have been prepared for those who similarly serve.  There is nothing wrong with desiring the high positions in Jesus’ kingdom, but those seats come at a high price – a “cup” of suffering service.

Back at the cross, what was James’ and John’s mother thinking about?  How did she feel, watching Jesus die, knowing that after her petition, Jesus said her boys would drink from the same cup?

Did she regret her request?
Did she desire to somehow protect her boys from the same horrific path?
Did she still trust Jesus when He said that being great actually means sacrificially serving others?

Those are good questions for us to wrestle with, as well.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

In Jesus' name (part 1)

Praying “in Jesus’ name” is probably the most common, and yet least understood, phrase in modern Christian prayers.  We close nearly every prayer – both public and private – with the phrase.  We’ve heard others emphatically add “in Jesus’ name” to their individual prayer requests, almost as if they expected to channel an extra portion of God’s power just by saying those three words. 

Jesus instructed His disciples several times to “ask the Father in my name”.  But what, exactly, did Jesus mean by that?  And are we asking in the manner that Jesus prescribes, or are we just adding a tag-line of Christian-ese at the end of our prayers?

To come in the “name” of someone is to represent them, their decisions, desires, and nature.  We do this in many areas of our lives.  Sending an employee to represent you at a meeting, voting for a Congressional representative, or authorizing another person to have power-of-attorney are all examples of sending someone else to do a task “in your name”.  The significance of choosing the right person cannot be understated, since, as your representative, you have pledged to fulfill whatever obligation they agree to “in your name”.

Throughout His ministry, Jesus stated that He acted as instructed by the Father, as His Father’s representative, and in place of the Father.  In all these ways, Jesus was claiming to represent God “in His name” to anyone and everyone.

During His last night before going to the cross, Jesus gave His disciples many instructions, including:

John 14:6,11-12 Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through Me…Don’t you believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in Me?  The words I speak to you I do not speak on My own.  The Father who lives in Me does His works. 

Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father is in Me.  Otherwise, believe because of the works themselves.  I assure you: The one who believes in Me will also do the works that I do.  And he will do even greater works than these, because I am going to the Father.”

Jesus tells the disciples that as they have witnessed Him imitate the Father…they will also have the opportunity to imitate Him.  It would be mind-blowing to think that they were going to the works of Father, AND do them with a greater impact than what they witnessed Jesus doing.  Their future ministries would reach far more people with the gospel than Jesus encountered during His three year ministry.  Although incredible, Jesus follows up this promise with an additional greater promise – but with a clarifying condition.

John 14:13-14 Whatever you ask in My name, I will do it so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.  If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it.

“Anything” means anything, right?

Although we would like to have an automatic “yes” to all our requests, we know from experience that prayers aren’t answered like that.  Jesus states that whatever we ask – as if we were representing Him in our requests – will be done so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 

Glorifying the Father – enriching His reputation and advancing His agenda – was Jesus’ purpose in His life and ministry.  Therefore, anything we pray “in Jesus’ name” should line up with the goal of increasing the Father’s glory…and not our own.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

God-focused prayers

When I read the model prayer that Jesus gave, one observation that sticks out to me is how much of the prayer is focused on God.  Take a look, and notice how many times God is mentioned:

Matthew 6:9-13 Therefore, you should pray like this:
Our Father in heaven, Your name be honored as holy.
Your kingdom come.
Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And do not bring us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.
Amen.

Jesus instructs us to pray that God’s name and reputation be honored, that his kingdom would come to earth, and that God would rule the earth just like he does in heaven.  The prayer ends with us telling God that he has the highest position, above all people and things, for all eternity.

That’s a lot of information about God in a prayer that is to God.

Why should I pray God’s attributes and qualities back to him?  It’s not like God doesn’t know these things about himself, nor do I expect that Jesus would be instructing us to say these things just to stroke God’s ego.  However, we cannot escape Jesus’ direction to spend roughly half of our prayer time focusing on who God is and what he is like.

Jesus is instructing us to remember exactly who it is we’re speaking with when we pray…the God who imagined and created the universe.  God designed subatomic particles and then stitched them together to form everything from plants, to people, to planets.  He imagined weather patterns and constellations.  God is the author of everything we can see, taste, hear, touch, or smell.  His authority and power are unlimited.  God is responsible for all these things and more…and he is the person we are instructed to bring our prayers to.

This kind of praying – a deliberate focus on who God is and what he is like – is an antidote for the modern insistence that “prayer works”…as if the fact that “I’m praying” or that “many of us are praying” will provide someone healing or financial rescue.  It’s not the number of people praying or performing the act of prayer that creates a change to our circumstances…it’s the one we are praying to that enacts the change! 

Our prayers are only as effective as the one we are praying to!  We tend to focus on the act of prayer as being effective, rather that remembering Who it is that we are praying to.  Remembering that we are talking with the God of the Universe makes us feel small…but that’s because…we are small.

But if I’m small, then how do I know that God will actually listen to anything I have to say?

We can be assured that God hears us, for two reasons.  First, Jesus is telling us to pray to God, and Jesus only gives true instructions.  Secondly, look at the first two words of the model prayer – Our Father.  Even though we are significantly small, we are invited to speak to the great God of Everything, and address him as father.

With our perspective set for who we are, and more importantly who God is, we can then approach God with our requests and needs.  It’s a whole lot easier to trust God with the outcome of our requests and situations when we have a clear picture of the person we’re praying to.

Keep Pressing,
Ken