Flashback Favorite - Help! I married my opposite.

Help! I married my opposite.
Originally posted on September 23, 2021  

At one point, I was very interested in personality traits and tendencies.  I read up on different personality assessments and took a number of assessment quizzes.  The results of one particular Myers-Briggs assessment included pairing of your personality type with others, so that you would know what type of person would be your “best friend”, “marriage material”, or “likely competition”.  Curious, I convinced my wife to take the test.

Three of her four traits were opposite mine…and I couldn’t find our pairing in any of their categories.  Not friend, not foe, not hiking buddy, not marriage partner, not even preferred acquaintance.  Finally, after bouncing around multiple pages on their website, I found their one-word description of a relationship between my set of four traits and her set of four traits: novelty.

According to the personality typing, she thinks I’m oddly intriguing.  I see her the same way.  “Opposites attract” – it’s a culturally accepted norm that all of us have plenty of experience with.  We certainly came from different families, and we’ve had our share of differences to work through over the years.  When you boil it all down…she’s an artist and I’m a nerd…and a prime example of our differences is in how we express and receive love. 

If you’re familiar with the Five Love Languages (Gift Giving, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch), you’ll probably empathize with what I’m about to say.  My love language is not the same as my wife’s love language…in fact, hers is probably my lowest ranking choice and mine is probably her lowest ranking choice.

I think I’m quite simple to love…after all, as an Acts of Service lover, just do something for me and I feel loved by you.  A clean home, laundry done, and dinner on the table makes me the happiest person on the planet.  Whereas my wife desires Physical Touch – hand held lovingly, hugs, cuddles, closeness.  Problem is…I’m not a touchy-feely person.  If you initiate a hug, I’ll reciprocate, but don’t expect me to go seeking one out.  On the flip-side, my wife’s clue that dishes are today’s priority is when we’ve run out of cups or skillets.

So we run into the constant problem: if I’m not reaching for her hand, giving hugs, etc. then she’s even less inclined to do something for me.  And if she’s not helping me out, I’m even less inclined to initiate loving contact with her.  It’s a vicious cycle, really.  It doesn’t start spiraling down out of spite or meanness…just the normal everyday busyness pulls us away from actively thinking about how the other person receives love.  When we’re distracted, we default to acting out in the way we want love to look like…I keep busy doing things around the house “for her” and she reaches for my hand “for him”…and those actions are easily misinterpreted. 

So, the question is…Who gives in first?  Who makes the first “loving move”?

When writing to the church in Ephesus, Paul spent the first two-thirds of the letter describing the relationship between Jesus and the church.  This relationship was previously a mystery (Ephesians 3:3-4), there is unity (4:4-6), there is diversity of gifts (4:11-13), and it results in a new way of living (4:17-5:21).  Paul wraps up his main discussion by giving the highest earthly example of the relationship between Jesus and the church – marriage. 

Ephesians 5:21-22, 25
Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

To answer our question, it would be easy to quote the above verses and say “See!  We both should swallow our pride and selfishness.  We need to think of the other person first.”  And I understand that sentiment.  I see the verses above.  Who should make the first move?  Whichever of us is more mature and humble in the moment.

However…I can’t help but notice two things.

1.       When I read the entire marriage section in Paul’s letter (5:22-33), he talks a lot more about how us men need to love our wives than he does about wives loving their husbands.  Paul places the burden on us to love our wife just as much as we love and care for ourselves.

2.       If I look at the timeline of when the church loved Jesus vs when Jesus loved the church – I find that Jesus loved first.  And if I’m to love my wife just as Christ loved the church…again, Paul is placing the first-step responsibility on me.

Then, I am reminded of other verses like these:

1 John 4:19
We love because He first loved us.

Romans 5:8
But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus loved us before we could do anything to deserve it.  He loved us when we thought ourselves unlovable.  He continues to love us, even when we are unlovely. 

So, fellas…I have to break it to you: we are the ones who should move first and show our wife the love she needs in the way she needs it.  Even if you don’t understand why she likes the kind of love communication that she does.  Get her a little gift, run the vacuum, block out your schedule to do something with her, compliment her, or – as I need to do – take her hand and give her a hug without being asked to.

It’s not wrong if she beats you to the punch and speaks your love language first – just speak hers back.  Opposites do attract, but they stay together only when we’re intentional with how we show our love.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

The three words every parent really wants to hear

Parenting is hard.  It just is.  Long days, many long nights, and a constant dread that your failings are going to cause massive therapy sessions or not have your child prepared to do life on their own.  There are many things that encourage us parents along the way – the hugs, the hard-fought test being passed (or even aced!), the growth in skills, the development of their personality, the proud-of-them moments – but some seasons are just hard for everyone involved.

Now that we’re on the “other side” of parenting and both boys are living their adult lives, there’s been a phrase, when it comes out in normal conversation, that brings about a great sigh of relief and makes my heart smile. 

You might assume it’s “I love you” – and as much as I love hearing it, that’s not the one.
You may suggest it’s “I need you” – and while that is a nice thought, it’s not it, either.
You could think I’d like to hear “You were right” – and it’s close to that, but better.

The phrase that makes every struggle of parenting feel worth the effort is to hear your child say “Now I understand.”

The first time I heard this from either of our boys came from our oldest son.  It was the summer before his senior year of high school, and we were in the process of moving to a new state.  As we reflected on our time in West Virginia, the place he had grown up, he made the following statement:

“When we were little, I always thought you guys were being mean to us for making us do chores and clean our room.  I hated the way you made us do things over and over even if we thought we were done.  But now I understand that you were teaching us how to do it right so we could do it on our own.”

I honestly wish I had recorded that moment, but the replay lives on in my mind.  When your child realizes that you’ve been on their side all along – even when they believed you were the enemy – that moment is validation for the chores, the tears, the anguished prayers, and the trying-agains.  For a child to be able to say those things demonstrates they have reached a significant maturity milestone.  That is a summit that changes their perspective and unlocks a new phase in your relationship.

The author of Hebrews wanted his readers to take this same step with their Heavenly Father.  Toward the end of his letter, he offered this advice:

Hebrews 12:7, 9-10
Endure suffering as discipline: God is dealing with you as sons.  For what son is there that a father does not discipline?...Furthermore, we had human fathers discipline us, and we respected them.  Shouldn’t we submit even more to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time based on what seemed good to them, but He does it for our benefit, so that we can share in His holiness.

The author’s comparison is as simple as it is profound.  Our parents are examples, for better or worse, for us to reference as we figure out life.  Our earthly father and mother did the best they could, and we still afford to respect them.  Why do we not view God’s actions in our lives the same way?  Especially since we know that God is good…and if He is good, then his discipline is for our benefit.  The benefit is that as we mature, we can share in His holiness.  This sharing in His holiness is to distinctly be like God, demonstrating His character traits and love to the world in such a way that everyone says “you’re a chip off the old block” and they see your Heavenly Father in the way you do life.

The author then says:

Hebrews 12:11
No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

IF we see our sufferings as God’s discipline…and IF we are trained by it…then, later on, we’ll experience peace and right-living, with our character reminding others of our Heavenly Father.  At that point, I expect we’ll turn to God and say:

Now I understand.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

The best kind of love

Is there any more abused word in the English language than the word “love”?

We positively “love” all sorts of things: sunsets, chocolate, coffee, our spouse, the dog, our favorite movie, etc.

We negatively (or sarcastically) “love” lots of things, too: our jobs, glitter, rained out plans, having the whole family sick at once, being inconvenienced, etc.

It’s common to hear – both in church and outside of church – that “God is love”.  But what does that mean?  Some people seem to get it backwards and treat it more like “Love is god”, and in this way of thinking, the warm, fuzzy feeling we all associate with love is the supreme characteristic over everything else.

Instead, love is a characteristic of God – so much so that we can aptly say that “Love belongs to God”.  And if God “owns” love, it’s best for us to define it the way that He does.  David brings this up as he concludes Psalm 62:

Psalm 62:11-12
God has spoken once; I have heard this twice:
strength belongs to God,
and faithful love belongs to You, Lord.
For You repay each according to his works.

God has a reputation that He is loving.

But this type of love isn’t the kind that’s just a nice, warm feeling…

The Hebrew word hesed indicates an unfailing love, a loyal love, a love filled with devotion and unlimited kindness…a covenant love that is both promised and upheld – no matter what happens.

Just as David has identified throughout Psalm 62, throughout life, we find malicious liars (some of them we don’t recognize at first), people at all different status levels, and opportunities for wealth (both legitimate and not)…but none of these things ultimately satisfy our need for security.  We desire to be safe.  If we don’t feel safe, it is impossible to rest and function to the full potential that God created us to have.

In the last two verses of this psalm, David’s point is clear: God is the only one that I can trust completely and feel safe and secure.  He won’t leave me.  I cannot guarantee anything will or will not happen in my day – because I can’t control everything – but I can rely on God’s unfailing hesed love to always be there.

Throughout the psalm we feel David’s confidence.  He’s putting everything on the LORD – and he’s determined to keep it that way.  Think of the words David has chosen:  He alone is my rock… my hope comes from him…salvation/glory depend on God…

When we recognize that God’s reputation of strength and hesed love is true, then we are able to confidently live like David lived. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: you need a friend

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that is both incredibly simple and challenge-level hard: being open with a friend.

The loneliness statistics in America are staggering.  Cigna did a massive loneliness study in 2018, and here are a few of their findings:

·       Nearly 50% of Americans reported sometimes or always feeling alone
·       Two in five Americans sometimes or always feel that their relationships are not meaningful and that they are isolated from others.
·       One in five people report they rarely or never feel close to people or feel like there are people they can talk to.
·       Generation Z (adults ages 18-22) is the loneliest generation

Cigna followed up with another study in 2019 and a post-pandemic study – with both showing that the numbers are getting worse, not better.

We need connection.  God made us for community.  Solomon knew this and included wisdom about friendships in his collection of proverbs.  But friendships can be messy, can’t they?  A supportive relationship with someone who isn’t a blood relative or a direct dependent takes energy and effort.  While it may be tempting to just withdraw and focus on ourselves, Solomon actually cautioned against doing so:

Proverbs 18:1
One who isolates himself pursues selfish desires;
he rebels against all sound wisdom.

Without outside counsel, our aims become very selfish.  But seriously, what else would we expect?  If we’re going to isolate ourselves away from others, there’s no one left for us to focus on besides ourselves.  The problem with doing so is that we become self-centered in our thoughts and actions.  Isolation and loneliness is a trap for our minds, one that keeps us away from sound wisdom.  If we are alone long enough, our blind spots and selfishness warp our minds to the point that we reject – or even rebel against – any wisdom that comes our way.

But friendship is more than just correcting each other when we’re drifting toward selfishness.  Solomon also addressed one of the main benefits of having a friend:

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for a difficult time.

We were made to give and receive love.  Knowing you have a friend in your corner, someone that loves you at all times, is a great resource.  When we are giving that same love to our friend, we are removing our focus off of ourself.  This giving-receiving love process actually protects us from the isolation trap that Solomon described in the previous proverb.  Difficult times will come, but they are easier to navigate with a friend in your corner.

However, don’t think a loving friendship means that your friend has to always agree with you or support your ideas.  Sometimes, we need to be told that we’re heading in the wrong direction:

Proverbs 27:6
The wounds of a friend are trustworthy,
but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.

Even coming from a friend, correction still stings.  However, when we know our friend has our best interests in mind, the times they choose to warn us – even figuratively wound us – we know we can trust them.  This again goes back to the first proverb we looked at…a friend’s trustworthy correction keeps us from rebelling against all sound wisdom. 

If all you get are excessive compliments and kisses from someone, especially if they are nudging you towards your selfish desires or unsafe situations…that person is not the friend you need when a difficult time arrives.  Solomon warns us to be very careful with someone who tries to deceive us with an abundance of praise.

Our last proverb is probably the most quoted proverb on this topic.  With just eight words, Solomon perfectly describes the goal of friendships:

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron,
and one person sharpens another.

The goal of a friendship is to make each other better, to make each other sharper.  There are many things to love about Solomon’s word picture, but the main thing to take away is that the sharpening process doesn’t happen for someone who has isolated themselves.  Isolation develops a selfish mind and dulls our lives.  We need one another to help us grow into the man or woman that God has made us to be.

Do you have a friend you can count on, or are you feeling lonely?  If you’re drifting toward loneliness, talk to God about it and be on the lookout for someone you can connect with.  Do not let yourself become comfortable with being alone…you weren’t made for that.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Help! I married my opposite.

At one point, I was very interested in personality traits and tendencies.  I read up on different personality assessments and took a number of assessment quizzes.  The results of one particular Myers-Briggs assessment included pairing of your personality type with others, so that you would know what type of person would be your “best friend”, “marriage material”, or “likely competition”.  Curious, I convinced my wife to take the test.

Three of her four traits were opposite mine…and I couldn’t find our pairing in any of their categories.  Not friend, not foe, not hiking buddy, not marriage partner, not even preferred acquaintance.  Finally, after bouncing around multiple pages on their website, I found their one-word description of a relationship between my set of four traits and her set of four traits: novelty.

According to the personality typing, she thinks I’m oddly intriguing.  I see her the same way.  “Opposites attract” – it’s a culturally accepted norm that all of us have plenty of experience with.  We certainly came from different families, and we’ve had our share of differences to work through over the years.  When you boil it all down…she’s an artist and I’m a nerd…and a prime example of our differences is in how we express and receive love. 

If you’re familiar with the Five Love Languages (Gift Giving, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch), you’ll probably empathize with what I’m about to say.  My love language is not the same as my wife’s love language…in fact, hers is probably my lowest ranking choice and mine is probably her lowest ranking choice.

I think I’m quite simple to love…after all, as an Acts of Service lover, just do something for me and I feel loved by you.  A clean home, laundry done, and dinner on the table makes me the happiest person on the planet.  Whereas my wife desires Physical Touch – hand held lovingly, hugs, cuddles, closeness.  Problem is…I’m not a touchy-feely person.  If you initiate a hug, I’ll reciprocate, but don’t expect me to go seeking one out.  On the flip-side, my wife’s clue that dishes are today’s priority is when we’ve run out of cups or skillets.

So we run into the constant problem: if I’m not reaching for her hand, giving hugs, etc. then she’s even less inclined to do something for me.  And if she’s not helping me out, I’m even less inclined to initiate loving contact with her.  It’s a vicious cycle, really.  It doesn’t start spiraling down out of spite or meanness…just the normal everyday busyness pulls us away from actively thinking about how the other person receives love.  When we’re distracted, we default to acting out in the way we want love to look like…I keep busy doing things around the house “for her” and she reaches for my hand “for him”…and those actions are easily misinterpreted. 

So, the question is…Who gives in first?  Who makes the first “loving move”?

When writing to the church in Ephesus, Paul spent the first two-thirds of the letter describing the relationship between Jesus and the church.  This relationship was previously a mystery (Ephesians 3:3-4), there is unity (4:4-6), there is diversity of gifts (4:11-13), and it results in a new way of living (4:17-5:21).  Paul wraps up his main discussion by giving the highest earthly example of the relationship between Jesus and the church – marriage. 

Ephesians 5:21-22, 25
Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

To answer our question, it would be easy to quote the above verses and say “See!  We both should swallow our pride and selfishness.  We need to think of the other person first.”  And I understand that sentiment.  I see the verses above.  Who should make the first move?  Whichever of us is more mature and humble in the moment.

However…I can’t help but notice two things.

1.       When I read the entire marriage section in Paul’s letter (5:22-33), he talks a lot more about how us men need to love our wives than he does about wives loving their husbands.  Paul places the burden on us to love our wife just as much as we love and care for ourselves.

2.       If I look at the timeline of when the church loved Jesus vs when Jesus loved the church – I find that Jesus loved first.  And if I’m to love my wife just as Christ loved the church…again, Paul is placing the first-step responsibility on me.

Then, I am reminded of other verses like these:

1 John 4:19
We love because He first loved us.

Romans 5:8
But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus loved us before we could do anything to deserve it.  He loved us when we thought ourselves unlovable.  He continues to love us, even when we are unlovely. 

So, fellas…I have to break it to you: we are the ones who should move first and show our wife the love she needs in the way she needs it.  Even if you don’t understand why she likes the kind of love communication that she does.  Get her a little gift, run the vacuum, block out your schedule to do something with her, compliment her, or – as I need to do – take her hand and give her a hug without being asked to.

It’s not wrong if she beats you to the punch and speaks your love language first – just speak hers back.  Opposites do attract, but they stay together only when we’re intentional with how we show our love.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I've apologized, so now what?

I messed up at work this past week.  I behaved in a way that is very atypical for me – while I was leading an online team meeting, I forcefully corrected a coworker.  You know the type of “discussion” I’m talking about – the kind where an awkward pause hangs in the air and the meeting clunks along afterward.  While the message I delivered may have been necessary, there were three glaring things wrong with it – my tone was condescending, I’m not his manager, and it was done in a public forum (there were two other coworkers and our manager on the call as well). 

No matter how much I thought my message was needed and/or right for him to hear…it wasn’t for me to say – in that manner or in that place.  So I called him the next day, and let him tell me everything I did wrong, how it made him feel, and how I wasn’t his manager.  While I was able to explain my motivations, he (rightly) insisted that I didn’t have all the information to provide the kinds of comments that I did.  I apologized for overstepping my boundary of being a coworker and for doing so in a public setting.  We ended the call in a friendly manner, and both moved on with our day.  In the days since that conversation, I have separately apologized to our other coworkers who were on the call.  They, too, have accepted my apology.

While I don’t expect any lasting damage to our friendship or ability to work together, a little awkwardness is bound to hang around for a while.  How will the next meeting I lead be conducted?  If I speak forcefully about anything, even on topics or relationships outside our team, how will I be perceived?  It’s been said that it takes years to build a good reputation, but one moment has the power to destroy all those years of work.

I’ve apologized, so now what?

A few days ago, I was reading in Proverbs while eating breakfast.  I normally study from the CSB translation, but this time I happened to be reading from my old NIV 84.  Here’s what practically jumped out on the page:

Proverbs 16:6
Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for;
through the fear of the Lord a man avoids evil.

My application was, and is, obvious.  Going forward, I cannot be preoccupied with how my teammates perceive me.  Instead, to re-solidify their trust in me, my focus will be to treat each of them in a loving manner and faithfully perform my responsibilities for my team – just as I have in the past.  To avoid making the same mistakes, I need to have an interest in and a healthy respect for the Lord’s instructions.

Don’t misunderstand me here.  I am not saying that I need to work harder to better behave myself.  I did not act poorly because I wasn’t trying hard enough.  Instead, I had forgotten who I am.  James warned us about this:

James 1:22-24
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.  Do what it says.  Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.

Don’t read that the wrong way, look back at the text…the word is the mirror that reveals what we look like, it shows us who we really are.  In James’ illustration, the mirror isn’t there to reveal our flaws – instead it shows us who we are in Christ!  It’s when we forget what [we] look like that we become hearers and not doers.

Since I have believed in Jesus for eternal life, I am forever a child of the King of the Universe.  As a member of the family, my identity is with Him.  I will be able to remember this as I look to His word to be reminded of who I am…and as I remember my identity, I will naturally treat my coworkers with love and faithfulness.

Because that is who I truly am.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - How God sees us

Sometimes we get a little wrapped up in our skewed mental picture of ourselves. Other times, were prone to believe the words that others use label us. We often try to project “the best image of ourselves” at work, online, or to our friends and family. It’s all too easy to forget what God sees when He looks at us…

How God sees us
originally posted on November 13, 2015

As Paul is wrapping up the transition point in his letter to the believers in Colossae, he makes an incredible statement that reveals how God views believers.  Previously, Paul urged them to kill off their old sinful habits because they

Colossians 3:9-10
…have put off the old man with his practices and have put on the new man

For the rest of the letter, Paul is going to describe what the life and practices of the new man will look like.  Reading ahead, you’ll find that Paul describes a life of freedom, love, and thankfulness.  However, the beginning of this new section says something we need to pause and consider.

Colossians 3:12
Therefore, God’s chosen ones, holy and loved, put on…

These three descriptions – chosen, holy, and loved – come before Paul lists out the qualities that he wants the Colossian believers to put on and practice.  This means that God views us by these descriptions – regardless of how well we live life wearing the practices of the new man.

So what, exactly, do these descriptions mean?

Although some people assume that the word chosen means that Paul is talking about God choosing people out of the world to be believers, the context doesn’t allow for that interpretation.

Keep in mind that Paul wrote to those who already trusted Jesus as their Savior.  Also remember that in the previous sentence, Paul described the family of God, saying

Colossians 3:11
Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcision and uncircumcision, barbarian, Scythian, slave and free; but Christ is all and in all.

From this context, we see that all believers are chosen ones.  In fact, this entire section is only dealing with internal, family matters.  After Paul refers to the Colossian believers as chosen ones, the rest of sentence talks about the qualities of a maturing believer’s life.  Therefore, it is clear that God is choosing all believers to mature and become more Christ-like.  Not just some of us.  Not just the “good kids.”  God chooses all of us for maturity.

The word holy conveys the idea of being set apart for a special purpose.  A word that also embodies this idea is the word sacred.  Whenever we refer to something as sacred, we imply that it is in a category all to its own.  Sacred things are handled reverently and carefully…not because of weakness, but because holy and sacred things are considered to have a priceless value.  Notice that God sees us as holy, set apart, and He considers our relationship with Him to be a sacred one.

Lastly, Paul says that God sees us as loved.  We’ve heard that God loves us so many times that we can have trouble remembering the depth of His love.  Here, however, the tense of the verb loved helps to remind us.  Loved is a perfect passive verb in this sentence.  The perfect tense in Greek describes an action which is viewed as having been completed in the past, once and for all, not needing to be repeated.  A passive voice means that the subject is the recipient of the verb’s action.  Taken together, when Paul says that we are loved by God – it means that we are the recipient of His love, and His love for us was firmly established a long time ago.

God sees us as chosen ones, holy and loved.  Think about that.  Smile about that.  No matter what happens today, or how well you handle it, those things do not change.

God sees you as His chosen one, holy and loved.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - Cure for snakebite

This is a great precursor for our next series:

Cure for snakebite
originally posted on March 7, 2019

Without a doubt, the most famous verse in the Bible is John 3:16.  If you grew up in the church, it was probably the first verse you memorized.  We also see it at various places in the culture – signs at sporting events, on the bottom inside edge of In-N-Out’s drink cup (one more reason to love that place!), on a Monster Jam truck, in songs on the radio, in comic strips, and even in Tim Tebow’s eye black.

John 3:16 is appropriately hailed as “the gospel in a nutshell” as it succinctly summarizes the Good News of Jesus and His mission here on Earth.  Even better, the verse is a direct quote from Jesus, and obviously, He would be the authority on the subject of the gospel.  As a refresher:

John 3:16
For God loved the world in this way: He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

This quote from Jesus comes out of a discussion He had with Nicodemus, a Jewish religious leader who was trying to figure out exactly who Christ was.  Just before He says those famous John 3:16 words, in order to help Nicodemus understand what He was about to say, Jesus curiously references an incident from Israel’s past:

John 3:14-15
Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, so that everyone who believes in Him may have eternal life.

Jesus compares Himself to a snake?  How does that help?

As Paul Harvey would say – and now, the rest of the story:

When Moses was leading the Israelites away from Egypt toward the land God had promised to the nation, the people routinely became whiny and rebellious.  Each time this occurred, God intervened to bring them back to their senses, forcing the nation to recognize their only chance of survival was to look to God.  This time, God’s “attention grabbing messenger” were poisonous snakes:

Numbers 21:4-9
Then they set out from Mount Hor by way of the Red Sea to bypass the land of Edom, but the people became impatient because of the journey.  The people spoke against God and Moses: “Why have you led us up from Egypt to die in the wilderness?  There is no bread or water, and we detest this wretched food!”  Then the Lord sent poisonous snakes among the people, and they bit them so that many Israelites died.

The people then came to Moses and said, “We have sinned by speaking against the Lord and against you.  Intercede with the Lord so that he will take the snakes away from us.”  And Moses interceded for the people.

Then the Lord said to Moses, “Make a snake image and mount it on a pole.  When anyone who is bitten looks at it, he will recover.” So Moses made a bronze snake and mounted it on a pole.  Whenever someone was bitten, and he looked at the bronze snake, he recovered.

There is a lot of symbology here.  Bronze is always representative of judgement.  While the snake represented the present danger, it also harkened back to the Garden of Eden where Satan, in the form of a serpent, helped to usher sin into the world and separate people from God.

But of all the parts of this story Jesus could have referenced to help Nicodemus understand the good news of the gospel, Jesus said “Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, so that everyone who believes in Him may have eternal life.”

What did the Israelites have to do to be immediately rescued from their snake-bitten death sentence?  Only to look at the bronze snake.  Not say a particular prayer.  Not promise to do better.  Not confess all their sins.  No requirement to make God the “Lord of their life” from here on out.  Only to look, because they believed God when He said that was the only thing for them to recover their earthly lives.

Jesus is telling Nicodemus – just like the Israelites looked to the bronze snake – everyone who looks to Him, everyone who believes in Him (no other conditions apply) will have eternal life!

Some may accuse me of “easy believism”, but they’ll have to take it up with Jesus first.

Why would God do such a thing?  Why would Jesus make something so incredibly valuable as eternal life available to everyone who (simply) believes in Him?

It’s the gospel in a nutshell:

John 3:16
For God loved the world in this way: He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

My daddy said "STOP!"

When our boys were small, there were only two ways to get spanked in our house.  First, was for lying.  Didn’t matter what you lied about, that violation of trust received a spanking…and then we would deal separately with whatever had been lied about.  Second, a spanking would occur for blatant, deliberate disobedience. 

Our boys were typical little boys, and they thoroughly tested both of these rules.  After each time, I would pull them into my lap and let them cry into my chest until they had calmed down.  It was in this teachable moment that we talked about what had brought them to this point and how to avoid it in the future.  I would also repeat one of two phrases that I borrowed from Jesus:  “If you love me, follow my directions.” or “Hear my voice and follow my directions.”  The first comes from John 14:15 and the second from John 10:27:

John 14:15
If you love me, you will keep my commands.

John 10:27
My sheep hear my voice, I know them, and they follow me.

You always hope your children get the lessons you try to teach them, but these verses ended up being applied in an unexpected way:

For our second Halloween in West Virginia, we walked around the neighboring side-street houses with other families that lived near us.  Our younger son was too little to walk the entire distance, so we pulled him in a wagon.  Our older son was Kindergarten-age, and he walked about a block ahead of us with some of the neighbor’s kids and friends who were in upper elementary school.  The kids were told to stay within eye-sight of the parents.  The weather was pleasant and it was a fun, relaxing stroll around the area.

At the very end of the designated Trick-or-Treat time, we started to head back home.  Our group of kids was about two blocks ahead of us, but we could still see each other.  At an empty side-road intersection, the group of kids went left, toward home…except for one, who looked left and then right and then left again.  Even from our vantage point, you could see our son’s mind spinning the options.  To the left, was home and the end of the night…but to the right were more houses with their porch lights on and other kids still getting candy.  So after weighing his options, he booked it to the right.

I didn’t mind his choice.  He was still within eye-sight, but I could see something that he couldn’t, because of the rolling hill the street was on.  There was a car, moving carefully up the road, but heading toward my son.  He was safely off the side of the road, running on the grass, but he was solely focused on getting more candy.  Depending on which house he targeted first, I was afraid he would dart out into the street.

I took a deep breath, barked out his name and gave him a loud, one-word direction: “STOP”.  He immediately stopped in his tracks.  I gave the wagon handle to my wife and ran to our son.  I got there just as the car slowly rolled by him.  He was crying because he didn’t understand why I yelled and likely thought he was in trouble.  The house he had targeted was on his side of the street and turned out to be the home of one of my co-workers.  She told me that she had heard him crying and was worried that he thought they were out of candy.  She called to him, saying, “It’s ok little boy, we still have candy.  You can come get some.”  Through his choked back tears, he gave this response: “No.  My daddy said stop.”

It didn’t hit me until the next day that although I could see him – he couldn’t see me.  While he was focused on something good, something he could have, as soon as he heard my voice…he knew he had to trust me and do what I said.  Even if it didn’t make sense to him in the moment.  Even if it meant missing out on something he wanted.

How well do we know our Savior’s voice?
Enough to recognize it above all the noise of life?
Do we trust Him enough to do what He says?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Cure for snakebite

Without a doubt, the most famous verse in the Bible is John 3:16.  If you grew up in the church, it was probably the first verse you memorized.  We also see it at various places in the culture – signs at sporting events, on the bottom inside edge of In-N-Out’s drink cup (one more reason to love that place!), on a Monster Jam truck, in songs on the radio, in comic strips, and even in Tim Tebow’s eye black.

John 3:16 is appropriately hailed as “the gospel in a nutshell” as it succinctly summarizes the Good News of Jesus and His mission here on Earth.  Even better, the verse is a direct quote from Jesus, and obviously, He would be the authority on the subject of the gospel.  As a refresher:

John 3:16
For God loved the world in this way: He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

This quote from Jesus comes out of a discussion He had with Nicodemus, a Jewish religious leader who was trying to figure out exactly who Christ was.  Just before He says those famous John 3:16 words, in order to help Nicodemus understand what He was about to say, Jesus curiously references an incident from Israel’s past:

John 3:14-15
Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, so that everyone who believes in Him may have eternal life.

Jesus compares Himself to a snake?  How does that help?

As Paul Harvey would say – and now, the rest of the story:

When Moses was leading the Israelites away from Egypt toward the land God had promised to the nation, the people routinely became whiny and rebellious.  Each time this occurred, God intervened to bring them back to their senses, forcing the nation to recognize their only chance of survival was to look to God.  This time, God’s “attention grabbing messenger” were poisonous snakes:

Numbers 21:4-9
Then they set out from Mount Hor by way of the Red Sea to bypass the land of Edom, but the people became impatient because of the journey.  The people spoke against God and Moses: “Why have you led us up from Egypt to die in the wilderness?  There is no bread or water, and we detest this wretched food!”  Then the Lord sent poisonous snakes among the people, and they bit them so that many Israelites died.

The people then came to Moses and said, “We have sinned by speaking against the Lord and against you.  Intercede with the Lord so that he will take the snakes away from us.”  And Moses interceded for the people.

Then the Lord said to Moses, “Make a snake image and mount it on a pole.  When anyone who is bitten looks at it, he will recover.” So Moses made a bronze snake and mounted it on a pole.  Whenever someone was bitten, and he looked at the bronze snake, he recovered.

There is a lot of symbology here.  Bronze is always representative of judgement.  While the snake represented the present danger, it also harkened back to the Garden of Eden where Satan, in the form of a serpent, helped to usher sin into the world and separate people from God.

But of all the parts of this story Jesus could have referenced to help Nicodemus understand the good news of the gospel, Jesus said “Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, so that everyone who believes in Him may have eternal life.”

What did the Israelites have to do to be immediately rescued from their snake-bitten death sentence?  Only to look at the bronze snake.  Not say a particular prayer.  Not promise to do better.  Not confess all their sins.  No requirement to make God the “Lord of their life” from here on out.  Only to look, because they believed God when He said that was the only thing for them to recover their earthly lives.

Jesus is telling Nicodemus – just like the Israelites looked to the bronze snake – everyone who looks to Him, everyone who believes in Him (no other conditions apply) will have eternal life!

Some may accuse me of “easy believism”, but they’ll have to take it up with Jesus first.

Why would God do such a thing?  Why would Jesus make something so incredibly valuable as eternal life available to everyone who (simply) believes in Him?

It’s the gospel in a nutshell:

John 3:16
For God loved the world in this way: He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

Keep Pressing,
Ken