Flashback Favorite - Help! I married my opposite.

Help! I married my opposite.
Originally posted on September 23, 2021  

At one point, I was very interested in personality traits and tendencies.  I read up on different personality assessments and took a number of assessment quizzes.  The results of one particular Myers-Briggs assessment included pairing of your personality type with others, so that you would know what type of person would be your “best friend”, “marriage material”, or “likely competition”.  Curious, I convinced my wife to take the test.

Three of her four traits were opposite mine…and I couldn’t find our pairing in any of their categories.  Not friend, not foe, not hiking buddy, not marriage partner, not even preferred acquaintance.  Finally, after bouncing around multiple pages on their website, I found their one-word description of a relationship between my set of four traits and her set of four traits: novelty.

According to the personality typing, she thinks I’m oddly intriguing.  I see her the same way.  “Opposites attract” – it’s a culturally accepted norm that all of us have plenty of experience with.  We certainly came from different families, and we’ve had our share of differences to work through over the years.  When you boil it all down…she’s an artist and I’m a nerd…and a prime example of our differences is in how we express and receive love. 

If you’re familiar with the Five Love Languages (Gift Giving, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch), you’ll probably empathize with what I’m about to say.  My love language is not the same as my wife’s love language…in fact, hers is probably my lowest ranking choice and mine is probably her lowest ranking choice.

I think I’m quite simple to love…after all, as an Acts of Service lover, just do something for me and I feel loved by you.  A clean home, laundry done, and dinner on the table makes me the happiest person on the planet.  Whereas my wife desires Physical Touch – hand held lovingly, hugs, cuddles, closeness.  Problem is…I’m not a touchy-feely person.  If you initiate a hug, I’ll reciprocate, but don’t expect me to go seeking one out.  On the flip-side, my wife’s clue that dishes are today’s priority is when we’ve run out of cups or skillets.

So we run into the constant problem: if I’m not reaching for her hand, giving hugs, etc. then she’s even less inclined to do something for me.  And if she’s not helping me out, I’m even less inclined to initiate loving contact with her.  It’s a vicious cycle, really.  It doesn’t start spiraling down out of spite or meanness…just the normal everyday busyness pulls us away from actively thinking about how the other person receives love.  When we’re distracted, we default to acting out in the way we want love to look like…I keep busy doing things around the house “for her” and she reaches for my hand “for him”…and those actions are easily misinterpreted. 

So, the question is…Who gives in first?  Who makes the first “loving move”?

When writing to the church in Ephesus, Paul spent the first two-thirds of the letter describing the relationship between Jesus and the church.  This relationship was previously a mystery (Ephesians 3:3-4), there is unity (4:4-6), there is diversity of gifts (4:11-13), and it results in a new way of living (4:17-5:21).  Paul wraps up his main discussion by giving the highest earthly example of the relationship between Jesus and the church – marriage. 

Ephesians 5:21-22, 25
Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

To answer our question, it would be easy to quote the above verses and say “See!  We both should swallow our pride and selfishness.  We need to think of the other person first.”  And I understand that sentiment.  I see the verses above.  Who should make the first move?  Whichever of us is more mature and humble in the moment.

However…I can’t help but notice two things.

1.       When I read the entire marriage section in Paul’s letter (5:22-33), he talks a lot more about how us men need to love our wives than he does about wives loving their husbands.  Paul places the burden on us to love our wife just as much as we love and care for ourselves.

2.       If I look at the timeline of when the church loved Jesus vs when Jesus loved the church – I find that Jesus loved first.  And if I’m to love my wife just as Christ loved the church…again, Paul is placing the first-step responsibility on me.

Then, I am reminded of other verses like these:

1 John 4:19
We love because He first loved us.

Romans 5:8
But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus loved us before we could do anything to deserve it.  He loved us when we thought ourselves unlovable.  He continues to love us, even when we are unlovely. 

So, fellas…I have to break it to you: we are the ones who should move first and show our wife the love she needs in the way she needs it.  Even if you don’t understand why she likes the kind of love communication that she does.  Get her a little gift, run the vacuum, block out your schedule to do something with her, compliment her, or – as I need to do – take her hand and give her a hug without being asked to.

It’s not wrong if she beats you to the punch and speaks your love language first – just speak hers back.  Opposites do attract, but they stay together only when we’re intentional with how we show our love.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: The big serve

The big serve
Originally posted on September 27, 2018

I recently watched a documentary about a Make-A-Wish event for a young cancer patient.  When he was 18 months old, he was diagnosed; however, his family waited to do the Make-A-Wish event until he was five, so it could be something more memorable and meaningful to him.

It started out as a simple plan to let him play the part of his favorite superhero for a day, but it quickly grew into a large-scale, city-wide event.  As word got around that a young cancer-survivor wanted to be Batman, people began offering their skills and connections to make the day as realistic as possible.

Here’s a rundown of just some of the people who got involved:
A boy donated his replica Batman costume and let the cancer survivor keep it afterwards.
One guy offered his black Lamborghini to be the Batmobile.
A local anchorwoman prerecorded the news broadcast that started the event.
The Chief of Police prerecorded messages to give out the day’s missions.
A social media company handled all publicity leading up to the day.
Actors played the roles of Batman, Penguin, and Riddler.
A local eatery provided their lunch.
During its busiest time of year, the opera house tailored all costumes.
A famous musician provided theme music.
A company overnighted a specialized computer chip to run the communication device.
A baseball team gave permission to use their mascot and stadium.
A social media expert provided official Twitter updates during the day’s events.
City Police, many of them on their day off, ensured the planned city route was unblocked and safe.
The mayor ended the day by presenting the key to the city.
A wealthy couple covered the city’s extra expenses for the day.
And many, many others donated their time and effort in both big and small ways…

On top of all this, roughly 14,000 people showed up to witness the events as Batman and Batkid went all across town to save the day.  While they brought supportive signs and cheered him on, the sheer volume of people presented a huge logistics problem – one the police are all too familiar with.  Safely managing a mass of humanity that large always presents a formidable challenge.  However, the officers found something different that day – whenever they would ask people to move back and give Batkid some space, people in the crowd would turn around at start helping them move the crowds back to make way.  No one grumbled, complained, or mouthed off at the officers.  Additionally, there was no complaint of crime or problems from within the crowds at each of the event’s locations.

While the day of the event was hugely successful (it was done on a Friday), those involved said there was a curious spillover to the event that lasted well into the next week.  In general, people were happier; people were friendlier.  It was described as an afterglow to the efforts to take care of this young cancer survivor.  No one expected it, but for a little while, the citizens gained something they didn’t have before.

But why did the crowds and city act this way?  Because they put the needs of the little boy ahead of their own.  Although this wasn’t a church-sponsored event, the participants provided a real-life example of what the Apostle Paul told the believers in Philippi:

Philippians 2:3-4
in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.  Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

Whether they had donated a Lamborghini or held up a homemade sign of support, each person’s focus was helping this one child.  For a single day, they stopped their own agendas, let go of their personal worries, and they focused on someone else.  No one did anything they would consider extraordinary – they all stayed within their skills and abilities – but when they did it together, something big and beautiful happened.

Does your small group or members from your church get involved in your community?  Mine does, and I absolutely love it.  We don’t go out to protest or yell preachy things from the street corners.  Instead we follow this example:

Philippians 2:5, 7
Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus, who…emptied Himself by assuming the form of a servant

When we empty ourselves of our pride, our agenda, our schedule and serve others with the skills and abilities God has given us – big and beautiful things can happen.  In humility consider others as more important than yourselves.  Get out among non-believers and serve – isn’t that what Jesus did?

However, the afterglow of our efforts will last longer than just a few days…instead, it will echo into eternity.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: How to stay focused while praying

Been struggling with focus during prayer recently. Sometime we need to be reminded of something we’ve previously learned.

How to stay focused while praying
Originally posted on December 23, 2015

About a year ago, I started a series exploring the way Jesus prayed.  My theory was that if God’s goal is to make me more Christ-like, then I should probably take a look at how, when, and where Jesus prayed.  Out of the numerous things I learned, two observations of Jesus’ prayer life stuck out:

First, that He frequently went off to quiet places to spend time with the Father in prayer.  Out of a variety of circumstances, Jesus was constantly devoting chunks of alone time to talking with His Father in Heaven.

Second, Jesus’ main concern in His prayers was the Father.  Jesus was primarily focused on the Father’s plan and the Father’s glory.  His aim was to increase the Father’s glory – which means to enhance the Father’s reputation and honor in the world, and this was primarily achieved as Jesus completed the mission that the Father gave Him to accomplish.

As rich as that study was, as I moved on to other parts of Scripture I didn’t always remember these main lessons.  Looking back, my prayer life has both ebbed and flowed…tossed about by circumstance and my mental state of the moment.  One particular item I’ve struggled with is staying focused while praying. 

When I pray, I’m usually sitting in a quiet room with my eyes closed to avoid visual distractions.  My conversation with the Father starts out alright, but about half way through the fourth sentence…my mind jumps to something that needs my attention later on in the day, or I remember what I had forgotten to buy at the store, or I start to process a relationship problem that needs addressed at work or with a friend or in my family. 

It never fails…my mind picks the worst possible moment to leave the deep waters of relationship with the Father, and I starting splashing around in shallow thoughts of the smaller parts of life.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve apologized to God for mentally abandoning our quiet time together.

I don’t think my struggle is all that unique, either.  In various forms, I’ve heard other Christians voice similar difficulties.  I suspect that ancient believers also dealt with this, because towards the end of his letter to the believers in Colossae, Paul wrote

Colossians 4:2
Devote yourselves to prayer; stay alert in it with thanksgiving.

Since Jesus’ death and resurrection bridged the gap between us and God, we know that as a child of God, we can pray at any time to our Father.  However, I think we tend to take advantage of that freedom and we get comfortable with sporadic communication.  Paul’s instruction here is to make prayer a priority, something we are devoted to.  Just like Jesus purposely setting aside chunks of time, we should as well.  Early morning, late night, commuting to work, or wherever we can consistently get time for just us and the Father; we need to make the time and protect that time from other things that will try to distract us.

This is where I’m so grateful for the second half of Paul’s instruction – stay alert in it with thanksgiving.  When my mind drifts off, I can immediately refocus my attention by thanking God for something, anything.  Giving thanks takes the focus off of me and my agenda because it makes me look toward the person I’m saying “Thank you” to.

As I have been applying Paul’s instruction, I’m realizing how a lack of thanksgiving has kept me unfocused…and being unfocused has prevented me from growing deeper with the Father.  So I need to make sure I’m purposely scheduling chunks of time with the most important Person in my life, and also telling Him about all the parts of my life that I am thankful for.  I’m certain that as I do this, my concern for the Father’s plan and the Father’s glory will increase.  Then I will begin praying like Jesus did, because my relationship with the Father will be a lot like Jesus’ relationship with the Father.

Maturity, growth, and deep relationship will not happen if we give God some sporadic moments of talk during our week.  The richness of a relationship with our Creator will only happen as we devote time to Him.  Will you make that choice?  The first step is simply saying “Thank you”.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Pause and recognize value

We humans have a love/hate relationship with principles.  We love the way they wrap a direction into a little nugget of truth, but we struggle to agree on how to actually apply the principle…because you may apply it differently than I would.  Honestly, a lot of our arguments come down to a disagreement on how to live within our society’s principles. 

So, what do we do to cope with this conflict?  Usually…we end up making a ton of rules.  For example: Companies and organizations can boil their mission statement down to two or three sentences, while at the same time, their employee handbook has to be split into separate volumes as they explain the rules and guidelines which are rooted in the mission statement.

Ancient Israel was no different.  God gave them the 10 Commandments, and while they are pretty cut-and-dry (e.g. – Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not lie), there were questions to be asked about some commandments, like – What, exactly, is coveting and at what specific point am I guilty of it?  How do I honor my parents and when does my responsibility to God affect that relationship?

The Sabbath question was especially tricky for them.  Here is the commandment, in its entirety:

Exodus 20:8-11
Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.  You are to labor six days and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God.  You must not do any work – you, your son or daughter, your male or female servant, your livestock, or the resident alien who is within your city gates.  For the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and everything in them in six days; then He rested on the seventh day.  Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and declared it holy.

The biggest question the Israelites had about this commandment was – I understand why we don’t work on the Sabbath, but what, specifically, constitutes “work” so I don’t violate this commandment?

This “What is work?” question was debated and argued all throughout the Old Testament times.  Various rabbis, scribes, and religious sects all had their own interpretation, and instead of replacing the previous teaching, any new rule/guidance was added on top of existing tradition and teaching.  By the time Jesus began His ministry, the non-work rules included directions around farming: no sowing, reaping, threshing, grinding, or baking.  There were rules against sewing, writing, starting a fire, carrying items, and even limiting how far you walked (no more than about 1/2 of a mile).

And if you didn’t adhere to these rules, you were considered by the religious/political leaders to be a Sabbath-breaker, a sinner, and someone who was inviting the wrath of God into your life.

A continuous point of contention between Jesus and the Pharisees (religious leaders) was Jesus’ refusal to follow their man-made rules.  One Sabbath, Jesus and His disciples were passing through some grainfields.  A few of the disciples were hungry and picked off some grain heads, rubbed them in their hands to remove the chaff, and then ate the grain.  The Pharisees saw this and accused the disciples of breaking the Sabbath.  You can read the full account and Jesus’ rebuke to the Pharisees in Matthew 12:1-8.  We’re picking up the scene with what happened a little later on that same Sabbath day:

Matthew 12:9-10
Moving on from there, [Jesus] entered their [the Pharisees] synagogue.  There He saw a man who had a shriveled hand, and in order to accuse Him they asked Him, “Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath?”

Rabbinic teaching of the time only allowed medical assistance on the Sabbath in extreme cases of life and death.  Obviously, the man with a shriveled hand wasn’t in danger of dying and probably had his condition for some time.  In the Pharisees’ minds, if Jesus were to heal the man properly and not work on the Sabbath, then He should wait until the next day.  However, Jesus didn’t answer their question with a “yes” or a “no”…instead, He called out their hypocrisy.

Matthew 12:11-12
He replied to them, “Who among you, if he had a sheep that fell into a pit on the Sabbath, wouldn’t take hold of it and lift it out?  A person is worth far more than a sheep; so it is lawful to do what is good on the Sabbath.”

Let’s pause right here.  If the Pharisees were willing to help out an animal on the Sabbath, why would they consider helping a person to be an act of sin?  The original point of the fourth commandment was to set aside the Sabbath day to God, imitating His example of resting from His creation labor.  Only through twisted logic and flawed tradition do we end up with a situation where it is considered more holy to leave a person in their suffering than it is to do something that will help them.

Jesus’ point looks at the correlation between value and effort.  The things we value, we make an effort to rescue.  Sheep were an important part of Jewish society, they had both income value and religious sacrificial value.  It’s no surprise that the Pharisees would want to rescue a sheep that fell into a pit, because if they don’t, the sheep would likely panic and die.  The tragedy was that they did not apply this same level of value to other people – so they used their religious piety to avoid putting in the effort.  But, as Jesus pointed out, is it really honoring to God to avoid doing good for others?

After pointing out their duplicity, Jesus shows them the right thing to do:

Matthew 12:13
Then He told the man, “Stretch out your hand.”  So he stretched it out, and it was restored, as good as the other.

It’s easy to look at this situation and comfortably chuckle at how Jesus was able to “stick it” to those stuffy religious leaders.  I’m sure we could all think of some people that need to be “put in their place” regarding the contradiction between their religious words and their heartless actions.  But we need to be careful here…lest we fall into the same trap.

If our car breaks down and we’re on the side of the road, we do everything we can to fix the situation.  We change our plans.  We call for help.  We pay the money we need to in order to have the car restored to working order as soon as possible.  We might gripe about it, but the car has too much transportation value for us to be without it for any length of time.  Suddenly being down a vehicle can cause a pretty big change in your family’s plans, dynamics, or ability to generate income. 

There are a lot of broken down people out there.  There is a need for us to step in and do what is good, even if that person doesn’t fit in with our man-made traditions that have become “Christian society” norms.  People can be restored when we give up our religious hypocrisy and see others as Jesus saw them.

Are people not worth more than our cars?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Help! I married my opposite.

At one point, I was very interested in personality traits and tendencies.  I read up on different personality assessments and took a number of assessment quizzes.  The results of one particular Myers-Briggs assessment included pairing of your personality type with others, so that you would know what type of person would be your “best friend”, “marriage material”, or “likely competition”.  Curious, I convinced my wife to take the test.

Three of her four traits were opposite mine…and I couldn’t find our pairing in any of their categories.  Not friend, not foe, not hiking buddy, not marriage partner, not even preferred acquaintance.  Finally, after bouncing around multiple pages on their website, I found their one-word description of a relationship between my set of four traits and her set of four traits: novelty.

According to the personality typing, she thinks I’m oddly intriguing.  I see her the same way.  “Opposites attract” – it’s a culturally accepted norm that all of us have plenty of experience with.  We certainly came from different families, and we’ve had our share of differences to work through over the years.  When you boil it all down…she’s an artist and I’m a nerd…and a prime example of our differences is in how we express and receive love. 

If you’re familiar with the Five Love Languages (Gift Giving, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch), you’ll probably empathize with what I’m about to say.  My love language is not the same as my wife’s love language…in fact, hers is probably my lowest ranking choice and mine is probably her lowest ranking choice.

I think I’m quite simple to love…after all, as an Acts of Service lover, just do something for me and I feel loved by you.  A clean home, laundry done, and dinner on the table makes me the happiest person on the planet.  Whereas my wife desires Physical Touch – hand held lovingly, hugs, cuddles, closeness.  Problem is…I’m not a touchy-feely person.  If you initiate a hug, I’ll reciprocate, but don’t expect me to go seeking one out.  On the flip-side, my wife’s clue that dishes are today’s priority is when we’ve run out of cups or skillets.

So we run into the constant problem: if I’m not reaching for her hand, giving hugs, etc. then she’s even less inclined to do something for me.  And if she’s not helping me out, I’m even less inclined to initiate loving contact with her.  It’s a vicious cycle, really.  It doesn’t start spiraling down out of spite or meanness…just the normal everyday busyness pulls us away from actively thinking about how the other person receives love.  When we’re distracted, we default to acting out in the way we want love to look like…I keep busy doing things around the house “for her” and she reaches for my hand “for him”…and those actions are easily misinterpreted. 

So, the question is…Who gives in first?  Who makes the first “loving move”?

When writing to the church in Ephesus, Paul spent the first two-thirds of the letter describing the relationship between Jesus and the church.  This relationship was previously a mystery (Ephesians 3:3-4), there is unity (4:4-6), there is diversity of gifts (4:11-13), and it results in a new way of living (4:17-5:21).  Paul wraps up his main discussion by giving the highest earthly example of the relationship between Jesus and the church – marriage. 

Ephesians 5:21-22, 25
Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

To answer our question, it would be easy to quote the above verses and say “See!  We both should swallow our pride and selfishness.  We need to think of the other person first.”  And I understand that sentiment.  I see the verses above.  Who should make the first move?  Whichever of us is more mature and humble in the moment.

However…I can’t help but notice two things.

1.       When I read the entire marriage section in Paul’s letter (5:22-33), he talks a lot more about how us men need to love our wives than he does about wives loving their husbands.  Paul places the burden on us to love our wife just as much as we love and care for ourselves.

2.       If I look at the timeline of when the church loved Jesus vs when Jesus loved the church – I find that Jesus loved first.  And if I’m to love my wife just as Christ loved the church…again, Paul is placing the first-step responsibility on me.

Then, I am reminded of other verses like these:

1 John 4:19
We love because He first loved us.

Romans 5:8
But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus loved us before we could do anything to deserve it.  He loved us when we thought ourselves unlovable.  He continues to love us, even when we are unlovely. 

So, fellas…I have to break it to you: we are the ones who should move first and show our wife the love she needs in the way she needs it.  Even if you don’t understand why she likes the kind of love communication that she does.  Get her a little gift, run the vacuum, block out your schedule to do something with her, compliment her, or – as I need to do – take her hand and give her a hug without being asked to.

It’s not wrong if she beats you to the punch and speaks your love language first – just speak hers back.  Opposites do attract, but they stay together only when we’re intentional with how we show our love.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

The MVP - thorny soil

We’re looking into The parable of the sower.  It was this parable that Jesus referred to as the “key” to understanding all His parables (Mark 4:13).  As such, I’m calling it: The Most Valuable Parable – The MVP.  All three of the synoptic gospel writers included this parable.  It can be found in Matthew 13:1-23, Mark 4:1-20, and Luke 8:4-15.  So far, we have looked at the sower, the soil of the path, and the rocky soil.  We’ve also observed that the word of God produced new life in the rocky soil, the thorny soil, and the good soil.  Now we’re taking a closer look at the thorny soil:

Remember, the fruitfulness of the seed was dependent upon the character of the ground it fell on.  Always the same seed, but never the same soil.  Watch for what happens to the seed that falls among the thorns:

Luke 8:4-8, 11-14
As a large crowd was gathering, and people were coming to Jesus from every town, He said in a parable:

“A sower went out to sow his seed.  As he sowed, some seed fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds of the sky devoured it.  Other seed fell on the rock; when it grew up, it withered away, since it lacked moisture.  Other seed fell among thorns; the thorns grew up with it and choked it.  Still other seed fell on good ground; when it grew up it produced fruit: a hundred times what was sown.”  As He said this, He called out, “Let anyone who as ears to hear listen.”

…“This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God.  The seed along the path are those who have heard and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved.  And the seed on the rock are those who, when they hear, receive the word with joy.  Having no root, these believe for a while and fall away in a time of testing.  As for the seed that fell among thorns, these are the ones who, when they have heard, go on their way and are choked with worries, riches, and pleasures of life, and produce no mature fruit.

If we’re honest…this is the soil where most of us American believers would see ourselves.  With our basic needs readily met (food on the shelf, water from a faucet, sturdy shelter), ours is an affluent society – one with all sorts of distractions. 

Advertisers are relentless, aren’t they?  Everything is “new”, “improved”, or something you just gotta have.  The media, and especially social media, never stops for us to take a breath.  Seems like everything we want to do or experience costs money.  Our bodies eventually fall apart, no matter how much effort we hedge against it happening.  There’s also “the unknown”, and thinking about that for too long will quickly drive you crazy.  But…rather than paint an entirely negative picture, let’s be honest…there are good things, too.  Lots of good things.  There are so many good things available to us in this life – things that are not bad, in-and-of themselves – that, if allowed to grow unchecked, even those can cause significant issues.

Jesus made a rather interesting metaphor when referred to the worries, riches, and pleasures of life as thorns.  Thorny bushes are inhospitable.  They cover up and obscure beauty.  But the biggest trouble thorns cause is that they absorb resources that should go to the plant.  They are a resource drain, diverting nutrients and water away, which stunts the growth of the seed…and to make matters worse, as the thorns grow up, they physically crowd out anything that tries to grow near them.  Growth from the seed does occur, but useful fruit is unable to be produced.

One last observation from what Jesus initially said about the thorny soil: other seed fell among thorns; the thorns grew up with it and choked it.  Notice that the thorns weren’t full grown at the beginning; instead, they grew up with the seed.  In life, we’re pretty good about recognizing big things that would be a potential problem for us…but we’re not so good at recognizing the potential for little things to divert our resources away from what’s most important to us.

If we do not intentionally seek God’s perspective, then the worries, riches, and pleasures of life will insidiously grow up and take over, choking out the fruitful, mature life God has for us.

The author of Hebrews also recognized this possible dilemma for us.  Thankfully, though, he offered the solution to staying out of the thorns:

Hebrews 12:1-2
Therefore…let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us.  Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

No food necessary

Have you ever been so wrapped up in something that you skipped eating?  For me, I wouldn’t say that I’ve ever “forgotten” to eat.  However, there have been a few times that for work deadlines I’ve pushed off eating a meal so we could get the job done.  I was certainly hungry, but the completion timing for task at hand had such a great impact on our customers, that I was willing to shift my eating schedule.

Until I studied Jesus’ interaction with the Samaritan woman at the well in John 4, I didn’t realize that Jesus had made the same choice.

We pick up the story just after the Samaritan woman believed in Jesus for eternal life and she was leaving Jesus at the well to tell everyone in her nearby town about Him.  However, just because the woman had left didn’t mean that Jesus was done teaching for the day.  Next up, He had a lesson for His disciples:

If you recall, before the woman arrived at the well, Jesus had sent the disciples into town to buy food.  They returned to the well to meet with Jesus just as the Samaritan woman was running back into town.  Since they had been successful in their food-gathering mission, they encouraged Him to eat.

John 4:31-34
In the meantime the disciples kept urging Him, “Rabbi, eat something.”
But He said, “I have food to eat that you don’t know about.”
The disciples said to one another, “Could someone have brought Him something to eat?”
“My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to finish His work,” Jesus told them.

Think about this scene from the disciples’ perspective: Why would Jesus refuse food from them?  He sent them to buy food, they knew He was worn out from the journey.  When Jesus refused their purchased food, the disciples wondered if someone else (…the woman, maybe?) had fed Him.  You and I also know that He never did get that drink of water He had asked the woman for.

Instead, Jesus delayed eating because of the work at hand.  He found sustaining satisfaction in doing the will and work of God the Father.  This isn’t the first recorded time Jesus had done something like this, either – check out what Jesus says during His temptation, as documented in Luke 4, Mark 1, or Matthew 4.

Here at the well, Jesus tells them that He has food to eat that they do not know about…after letting them struggle with this concept, He explains that doing the will of God and finishing God’s work was all the food He needed at the moment.

Just like the woman, the disciples also had things they did not know.  Also like the woman, the disciples assumed that Jesus was only talking about the physical, as in physical nourishment.  They were looking for who got there first and served their tired master.  Instead, Jesus was using a physical food example in order to instruct them about spiritual food.

Spiritual food fuels you in ways that physical food cannot.  Physical food doesn’t give you purpose.  Physical food doesn’t sustain your mind’s focus, attitude, and desire like spiritual food does.  Realizing the urgency and opportunity they had right in front of them, Jesus was focused and ready for the task at hand.  When we are using our God-given talents and God-granted time to help others see Jesus, we will find our purpose takes precedence over our physical needs.

Does this mean Jesus had stopped eating altogether?  Of course not!  In just a few verses, we will see Him accepting the hospitality of the Samaritans.  But the task at hand was more important, and physical sustainment was found in working His spiritual mission.  We can eat lots of earthly food and still feel empty.  Jesus shows that we can feast on doing the work God gives us, and we’ll find great satisfaction.

With our observations here, we see that Jesus is the example to follow: He sees spiritual work as food, and He taught others how to eat.  Ultimately, this is our challenge – to do the work God gives us to do, and to finish it.  As we do His work, He’ll supply the food.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Authority in Eternity

We saw last time that Jesus promised Peter a reward of authority in the next life as a result of the sacrificial choices that he and the other disciples made as they followed Jesus here on Earth.  A cursory look through the gospel accounts reveals that the disciples frequently talked about their part in eternity future…however, most of the time they ended up arguing about who would be the greatest in Christ’s kingdom.

The argument about it even came up again, of all times, during the Last Supper.  Jesus even had to step in and correct their focus:

Luke 22:24-27
Then a dispute also arose among them about who should be considered the greatest.  But He said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who have authority over them have themselves called ‘Benefactors.’  It is not to be like that among you.  On the contrary, whoever is greatest among you should become like the youngest, and whoever leads, like the one serving.  For who is greater, the one at the table or the one serving?  Isn’t it the one at the table?  But I am among you as the one who serves.”

Once again, Jesus did not rebuke them for discussing – or even arguing about – levels of authority in His future kingdom.  Since He didn’t even address that part of their discussion, Jesus confirmed that the subject matter they were discussing was, in fact, a reality: there will be varying rewards and levels of authority in Christ’s kingdom!

Instead, Jesus corrected their assumption that those who are high up on the food chain now will also be the ones who later obtain the higher authority in Christ’s kingdom.

Jesus was quite clear when he pointed to Himself as the example.  If anyone had the right to claim greatness on earth, Jesus did above all others.  However, what He chose to do with His authority did not match the disciples’ expectation.  Jesus’ rightful seat was at the head of every table; however, He chose to be among you as one who serves.

To make sure the disciples understood this change in perspective, He continued:

Luke 22:28-30
You are those who stood by Me in My trials.  I bestow on you a kingdom, just as My Father bestowed one on Me, so that you may eat and drink at My table in My kingdom.  And you will sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.

Standing with Christ in His trials proves that they have understood the importance of imitating Christ’s choice of service enough to make serving others their priority over everything else.  The reward for this choice is clearly greater than any authority they could lord over others in this life.

And as John tells us in Revelation, we have the opportunity to make the same choice as the disciples:

Revelation 22:3-5
…The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and His servants will worship Him…and they will reign forever and ever.

Serve now, rule later…as Servant Kings.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - Take this step to be like Jesus

I still do this. I’ve memorized, applied, and been able to share a lot of Scripture because this is something I practice.

I highly encourage you to do this, too.

Take this step to be like Jesus
originally posted on November 24, 2016

I’ve heard that a person’s character is defined by who they are when no one else is around.

I’m not 100% sure about that definition…instead, what we do with our time when no one else is around is how we develop our character.

When no one is looking, the choices we make will shape us.  Even the passive choice to “do nothing” has a sculpting effect.  Think of our time as spending cash.  How we spend it – either wasting or investing it – will shape who we are.

Paul knew this quite well, which is why he told Timothy:

1 Timothy 4:7-10
But have nothing to do with irreverent and silly myths.  Rather train yourself in godliness, for,

the training of the body has a limited benefit,
but godliness is beneficial in every way,
since it holds promise for the present life
and also for the life to come.

This saying is trustworthy and deserves full acceptance.  In fact, we labor and strive for this, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of everyone, especially of those who believe.

We understand that musicians practice for hours when no one is looking so when it comes time to perform, they do it perfectly.  We get it that basketball players shoot 100s of free throws a week so they’re ready when they’re fouled late in a game and have to step up to the line.

Training happens when no one is looking – it’s intentional work.  Now, earlier in his letter to Timothy, Paul equated godliness with being like Jesus.  But I think we Christians don’t see how important it is for us to labor and strive to be like Jesus.  So, let’s take an intentional step in that direction and see what God does with our time investment.

Jesus was intimately connected to the Scriptures.  On a regular basis, Jesus would quote or reference God’s Word.  Here’s just a couple of ideas to put some of God’s Word directly into your life:

·        Use a verse as a password – every time you log in to an account, say the verse.  “John3:16” or “Psalm100:1” fulfills most password requirements to have a capital letter, lower case letter, number, and special character.  Perhaps your password at work is a reminder of being faithful or diligent, like Colossians3:23 or Proverbs22:29.  Maybe the password for your online bank account is about being wise with money, like Proverbs21:17 or 2Corinthians9:6. [Edit: My info-security friends will want me to tell you to mix it up a bit instead of just using a book of the Bible. Maybe add in a key word or first word from the verse to help you remember, like John3:16For or SkilledPrvb22:29]
·        Have a verse for when you start your car, a “key” verse you need to know.  Proverbs3:5 and Ephesians2:8 would be good choices.
·        Have a verse to repeat whenever you wash your hands.  I learned 1 John 4:7-8 in a tune when I was a kid.  The tune is burned into my memory, so I can “sing” those verses at any time.  As often as I need to wash my hands, I’m reminding myself multiple times per day that loving others is important, and God is the one who loved us first.

It’s ok to pull out your phone to look up the verse so you say it correctly.  And…you don’t have to implement all of these suggestions.  The point is to find one thing in your day that you do repeatedly, and attach a verse to it.  Actively invest your time.  God guarantees that this kind of training will be beneficial both in the present life and also for the life to come.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Meeting God in prayer

Luke 10:41-42
The Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but one thing is necessary.  Mary has made the right choice [to spend time with Jesus], and it will not be taken away from her.”

The right choice.  The better meal.  We’ve been looking at how Jesus’ response to Martha gives us direction on how we are encouraged and fueled to live out the life Jesus has given us.  Last time, we saw how God wants to meet us through our time in the Scriptures.  This time, we’re looking at the other way that God meets us – through prayer.

To pray for things we want – material items or particular circumstances – that comes rather easy.  We know all the things we want or wish for because we spend a lot of time thinking about them.

When James was writing to believers, he warns them about their “wants” and the motives behind them:

James 4:1-5
What is the source of wars and fights among you?  Don’t they come from your passions that wage war within you?  You desire and do not have.  You murder and covet and cannot obtain.  You fight and wage war.  You do not have because you do not ask.  You ask and don’t receive because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.

You adulterous people!  Don’t you know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God?  So whoever wants to be the friend of the world becomes the enemy of God.  Or do you think it’s without reason that the Scripture says: The spirit He made to dwell in us envies intensely?

God is jealous for our attention.  Think about it: He has saved us from being eternally separated from Him and He gives us never-ending, eternal life…so of course He is offended when our main interaction with Him is treating Him like a cosmic vending machine so we can get stuff to impress others with how great we are.

Fortunately for his readers (and us), immediately after James gives that harsh, well-deserved rebuke, he then gives hope and a proverb to remedy their mindset:

James 4:6-7, 10
But He gives greater grace.  Therefore He says:

God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

Therefore, submit to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you…Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.

Not only does God have grace for us to receive forgiveness of sins and eternal life, but there is also grace for when we selfishly return to a sinful mindset!  We have access to this grace when we humble ourselves before the Lord.  And how do we do that?  Through prayer that is God-focused, not us-focused!

I’m sure your next question will be “How do I pray to God, about God?  Isn’t that a little weird?”

What I can tell you is that God-focused prayers is exactly how Jesus spent His time with God the Father.  If we don’t feel like we know “how to” pray well enough, then I refer you to the blog series I wrote on learning how to pray as Jesus prayed.  Those posts started on November 5th, 2014 and ended on April 8th, 2015. 

But there is a simpler, more direct way to learn to pray like Jesus did.  All we need to do is ask, like one of the disciples did:

Luke 11:1
He was praying in a certain place, and when He finished, one of His disciples said to Him, “Lord, teach us to pray”

In the verses that follow, Jesus gave His disciples a pattern, an example of how He prayed to God the Father.  It’s worth our time to check it out and practice using that format in our prayers – all with aim of making the right choice and building our relationship with God.

Keep Pressing,
Ken