I’ve had it all backwards

Navigating an empty nest isn’t a new challenge in society, but it is still a relatively new challenge in our household.  With one son fully on his own and the other son in his last year of college, our “family” has shrunk to just me, my wife, and our dog. 

Not too long ago, I read that men tend to function at their highest levels of productivity when they are faced with “twenty-year challenges”.  The author argued that having a clearly-defined, long-term goal is a great way for men to focus and stay motivated.  These types of goals can be career-oriented, like starting/building an industry-leading business or achieving a C-suite promotion; or exercise goals, like completing 10 Ironman triathlons; or personal goals, like writing 3 NYT Best Sellers or learning to fluently speak 5 new languages.  These types of goals could also be financial, personal, or even relational…the point was for the guy to make them BIG, set a course, and then achieve it.

If the twenty-year challenge was completed in less than 20 years, that is a good thing.  But the author also suggested that once a goal has been met, a new twenty-year challenge should take its place.

There are many benefits to approaching life this way: clear direction in life, intentional actions, and learning to put off short-term gratification in order to reach a long-term better reward.  Most of all, twenty-year challenges help a man avoid spinning his wheels and merely dabbling around.

After reading the article, I realized that (although I had never referred to it as such), I had treated the raising and launching of our two boys like a “twenty-year challenge”.  Our goal has always been to teach them how to get along without us…because, let’s be honest…unless Jesus returns before we die, they will have to know how to live life on their own.  Seeing that this “twenty-year challenge” was coming to a close, I took the article’s advice and began to ponder what my next “twenty-year challenge” was going to be.

The problem was…nothing immediately came to mind.  Not that I didn’t see options, but I wasn’t sure which one to give the priority to.  So, I spent time thinking about it.  I spent time praying about it.  I spent time talking with my wife, my family, and my close friends about it.  But no “one thing” has risen to the surface for me to say, “Ah-hah!  That’s the next BIG thing for me.”

Then, a little while back, I was reading Proverbs while eating breakfast, and this gem captured my thoughts:

Proverbs 16:3
Commit your activities to the Lord, and your plans will be established.

I wanted to make sure I understood what I was reading, so I looked up the definition of a couple words:

activities = deeds, work, labor, pursuit
plans = plan, purpose

Immediately, I recognized the short-term vs. the long-term in this verse.  The activities I do are the short-term actions, and the plans are the long-term goals.  I also realized that I had been thinking about the empty-nest situation completely backwards.  As I had been pondering the next “twenty-year challenge”, I had been neglecting to give my day-to-day actions the emphasis this proverb requires.

Essentially, I was asking God to drop a new “twenty-year challenge” in my lap, but I wasn’t in the habit of making sure my daily pursuits were committed to the Lord.  But…why should I expect God to give me something BIG to work on, if I’m negligent in giving Him the small things?

This realization cut me deep and has shifted my perspective.  Intentionally committing my daily activities to the Lord isn’t something that comes naturally.  I mean, sure, generally speaking – I want to do life God’s way and live a life that He can be proud of me.  But these are the questions I’m now asking myself:

How can I commit what I eat for breakfast to the Lord?
How can I commit this next work call to the Lord?
How can I commit doing my household chores to the Lord?
How can I commit my down time – what I read, what I watch – to the Lord?

Do you see how challenging this application can be?  Since I read this proverb, I’ve endeavored to be better at it, trusting that as I rightly handle my day-to-day well, that God will establish the long-term plans He has for me.  As of this writing, I don’t know what my next “twenty-year challenge” is yet, but I’m going to take God at His word in this proverb.

How about you?  How would you apply Proverbs 16:3?

If you have any tips or suggestions, I’d love to hear them.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I've got nothing

When I was a teen, my mom struck a deal with me: She would buy as much junk food as I wanted to eat, but before I had any of it, I had to eat my 5 fruits and veggies for the day.  She had read about a study that said a lot of the hormonal stresses and body changes a teenager experiences can be made worse if their diet was poor.  But then, why offer me junk food?  Because that same study found that the junk food wasn’t necessarily the problem – instead, the lack of nutrients in the junk food was the contributing issue to a teen’s health.  The study found that if the teen was eating proper macro and micro nutrients, then the junk food didn’t really cause much of an issue.  Bonus, too, was that the teen study participants actually ate less junk food after eating good, healthy food.  Essentially, they were so full of the good stuff that sweet stuff wasn’t as appealing to them.

The result of this bargain with my mom still impacts me today.  I don’t have a strong affinity towards candy, ice cream, or soda.  Sure, I’ll have them at times – but I don’t feel the urge to binge on them when they are available.

What I’m realizing now (much later in life, mind you), is that the study’s findings can apply to other appetites, as well.  Especially given the events of my last week…

I’ve been a little distracted lately.  A pastime I enjoy has crept in and taken up even more space in my life.  There’s nothing wrong with hobbies or sports or interests – most, if not all, of them are not morally right or wrong.  We do them to relax from our work, temporarily distract us from issues or stress, or find connection with others.  And for me, that pastime is NFL football…specifically, my favorite team since childhood, the Kansas City Chiefs.

Now, if you’re not into football, hang with me for a minute…there’s an application in this for you, too.  But if you are a fan of any sport, you may recognize what I’m going to describe.  After watching my team open the season with a victory over one of their biggest rivals (winning literally by an inch) last Thursday night, I stayed up even later to listen to all the post-game commentary where people said nice things about my team.  Over the next several days, there were many sources of commentary and interviews to watch.  There are also several YouTube channels we’ve found with extremely talented content creators that were pumping out hilariously entertaining material.  This whole week, I’d listen to something before work, watch a video during lunch, and then my wife and I would have more to watch nearly every evening.  It’s all good stuff (especially nice on my ego since my team won!) and doesn’t really hurt anything…other than being a bit time consuming.

But as I have been thinking about what to write for THE WORD this week, I have been struggling.  I even had a thought I’ve never encountered before – I’ve got nothing.

Nothing to share has really come to mind.  Nothing new I’m learning from God or something He taught me a while ago to write about.  Just kinda…meh.  Tonight, I’m realizing that I’ve happily filled up on junk food, and I have not been consuming what my spirit needs for nourishment.  I’ve prayed less, read the Bible less, and thoughts about doing either have been pushed aside by my steady diet of Chiefs-related content.

Which leaves me with nothing to share.  How can I speak for God, if I’m not talking with Him?  How can I “think God’s thoughts after Him” if I’m not reading about the things He thinks about?  How can I walk in His footsteps if I’m not looking for the path He’s walked ahead of me?

For me, the NFL has crowded out my time with God.  For you, it could be something else entirely.  Are you a “political junkie”?  Or do you binge-read novels?  Or has TikTok taken too much of your time?

How can we expect the Holy Spirit to remind us of what Jesus said, if we’re not reading what Jesus said?  (John 14:26) It’s tough to be reminded of something we haven’t looked at.  And how are we to expect God to meet our needs, if we aren’t seeking first His kingdom? (Matthew 6:33)

I suspect that you, like me, need to eat better.  We need to prioritize feeding ourselves on God’s Word and sustaining our souls by time spent with Him.  The answer isn’t to completely cut out our hobbies…instead we need to use our time to put life’s emphasis where it truly belongs. 

It will be a sacrifice to do so…we won’t get as much junk food as we’ve been binging on lately.  But, once we’re filled with good food, we’ll find that life is better this way.  Paul laid this out clearly to the believers in Rome.  These two verses are often quoted, but that doesn’t dilute the power and wisdom found in their application:

Romans 12:1-2
Therefore, brothers and sisters, in view of the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your true worship.  Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

Let’s not miss the opportunity to know and live the perfect will of God because we’re too distracted by our hobbies.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our Best Life, Step 5: Discipline

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

             A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly-defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involved our reputation (link).  His second step looked at how we can make sure our lives are heading in the right direction (link).  His third step was about our health and healing (link).  His fourth step discussed how to properly handle having an abundance (link).  King Solomon’s fifth and final step to our Best Life is something we have a love/hate relationship with: discipline.

If we’re honest, we’ll all agree that we love the results of discipline, but we don’t necessarily like receiving discipline.

No one who is at the “top of their game” – whether that “game” is business, sports, relationships, money, or anything else – is there by accident.  You can have tons of talent, even more talent than anyone ever born…but if you’re not disciplined in how you use and develop that talent, you will never reach your Best Life full potential.

But here’s the real kicker, probably the thing that bugs us most about discipline – you can have self-discipline, and that’s super-beneficial, but if you don’t have an outside authority to coach, correct, shape, and even rebuke or punish you…then you’ll have a ceiling that you can’t break through on your own.

The top athletes all recognize the need for a personal trainer.  The best CEOs bring in coaching consultants.  When our relationships breakdown with our spouse or our kids, we find a counselor.  Having a financial planner is key to winning long-term with money.  Could each of these people go at it alone?  Sure, they could.  But they wouldn’t be their best.  Their progress would slow to the level of their own education and experience.

Think about it – Every one of these “successes” pays their hard-earned money and chooses to submit to another person’s authority, because they believe that person can help them reach their full potential.  They are willing to be guided and disciplined by an outside authority so they can become a bigger success than they ever could have achieved on their own.

The question for us as believers is “Do we view God the same way?  Do we trust His guidance and discipline, or do we avoid His correction because we’d rather do it our way?”

However, if we’re going to live our Best Life, if we’re going to reach our full potential…King Solomon tells us not only Who to turn to, but what His motivation is toward us:

Proverbs 3:11-12
Do not despise the Lord’s instruction, my son, and do not loathe His discipline;
for the Lord disciplines the one He loves, just as a father disciplines the son in whom He delights.

God doesn’t just discipline us because He sees potential in us, His motivation comes from His love for us.  The parallel King Solomon cites is a powerful one – a good father lovingly provides instruction and discipline so that his son will become the fully-realized man that he could be.  God’s approach is the same with us.  God loves and delights in us, and as such, He disciplines us for our own good.

Our Best Life doesn’t happen by accident…it’s not something we’re going to just fall into or someone else is going to provide for us.  Achieving our Best Life truly is a partnership with God…and that means we’re signing up for His discipline.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our Best Life, Step 1: Reputation

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

              A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involves our reputation.

What feelings emerge when you meet a new person and during introductions, they greet you with the words, “Oh yeah, I’ve heard of you!”  Does panic start to crawl up your spine, your body tense, and your mind race…like a deer caught in headlights? 

Our reputation proceeds us, laying the foundation for future interactions with strangers and future considerations from those who already know us.  Those of us with poor reputations are met by people with their defenses already up, and we can expect that it will take a lot of effort to change their minds or posture toward us.  However, a good reputation has the ability to open doors of opportunity that would be locked for others. 

Having a good reputation goes a long way toward us living our Best Life.  A poor reputation is always followed by additional hardships, headaches, and stress that will sidetrack us from the important relationships and tasks we want to pursue.

So how do we obtain a good reputation?  It’s gotta be more than just being smiley and nice to people, right?  King Solomon pointed out two character traits that we must choose in order to generate a strong, positive reputation:

Proverbs 3:3-4
Never let loyalty and faithfulness leave you.
Tie them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you’ll find favor and high regard with God and people.

These two character traits – loyalty and faithfulness – are the fuel for a good reputation.  With these, we’ll find both favor and high regard.  And amazingly, it builds our reputation with both God and people.  That is a huge two-for-one outcome for keeping our word and being reliable in our follow-throughs!

King Solomon considers loyalty and faithfulness so vital that he warns us to never let [them] leave you.  Our active choice to incorporate them is emphasized by the word pictures he uses: tie them around your neck – put them on like the clothes you wear each day, and write them on the tablet of your heart – make them part of who you are.  When loyalty and faithfulness characterize us both inside and out, our reputation will create the opportunities for us to live our Best Life.

So, let’s check ourselves…

Does your reputation among your friends include loyalty and faithfulness?
Does your reputation at work include loyalty and faithfulness?
Does your reputation within your family include loyalty and faithfulness?

If you can confidently say “yes” to any of these, then you can probably also recognize the favor and high regard you’ve experienced.  However, if any of these questions bring a “no” or “not sure” to mind, don’t let this opportunity slip away – ask someone you trust to help you evaluate your reputation.  And then do what you can to improve it.  Your Best Life is waiting for you to do so.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

There are only three ways to learn

I can still vividly remember one particular scene from when our oldest son was in his preteen years.  He had just gotten himself in trouble, and he was not interested in talking through the choices he had made.  He only wanted to take his lumps and move on; however, he needed to fully understand what his choice caused and what would be the natural consequences if he didn’t make a course correction with his behavior.  I didn’t go full-blown lecture-mode, but I did quote a proverb and then told him how it applied to his situation.  As I walked away to leave him in his room, he sarcastically quipped behind me, “You know, not everything has to be a life lesson.”

I was more than a little irritated by that point, so as calmly as I could, I replied, “It is if you’re paying attention.”  And then I left him to his isolation, hoping that he’d be able to better process this little skirmish without others around him.

It’s difficult to learn lessons when we’re not open to them.  Assuming we’re ok in our ignorance – or that we’ll at least be able to get by on what we do know – can end up costing us in the long run.  Since time marches on, our ability to adapt is directly connected to our ability to learn…and if someone is trying to help us learn before we make a mistake that doesn’t have a do-over, then it’s in our best interest to pay attention.

This is why we go back to the Scriptures, time and time again: to gain knowledge and wisdom, to learn how God designed this life and how best we can abundantly live it out.  The book of Proverbs is a go-to for me, for that very reason.  King Solomon wrote it to instruct his sons in the way wisdom can be woven into our lives.  It is chock-full of applicable knowledge, and it is readily available for us to use.  Here is a great example from Solomon:

Proverbs 24:30-34
I went by the field of a slacker and by the vineyard of one lacking sense.
Thistles had come up everywhere, weeds covered the ground, and the stone wall was ruined.

I saw, and took it to heart; I looked, and received instruction:

A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the arms to rest,
and your poverty will come like a robber, and your need, like a bandit.

Solomon learned a valuable lesson simply because he was being observant.  When we are open to being taught by life’s examples, we can save ourselves a lot of trouble.  If Solomon’s sons applied the lesson, they would find it less work to maintain their blessings than it would be to mount up the effort needed to completely repair a neglected field or replace an entire stone wall.

When you get right down to it, there are only three ways that we can learn something: by instruction, by observation, or the hard way.  Solomon learned his lesson by observation – he saw someone else’s struggle and recognized that was not a path he should be traveling.  Solomon’s sons had the opportunity to learn by instruction – if they followed the lesson provided, they would also be kept from the trouble that negligence leads to.

The third option was also available – they could ignore Solomon’s lesson and have to experience the hard way first-hand.  The trouble with the hard way is…that it’s hard.  There are many first-hand lessons in life that come with no do-overs or take-backs.  Unfortunately, our hard-headedness and pride often  send us down “The Hard Way” path. 

Again, that’s why we need to return to the Scriptures.  There are lessons to learn, both by instruction and by observation, but only if we are open to them. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: How to stay focused while praying

Been struggling with focus during prayer recently. Sometime we need to be reminded of something we’ve previously learned.

How to stay focused while praying
Originally posted on December 23, 2015

About a year ago, I started a series exploring the way Jesus prayed.  My theory was that if God’s goal is to make me more Christ-like, then I should probably take a look at how, when, and where Jesus prayed.  Out of the numerous things I learned, two observations of Jesus’ prayer life stuck out:

First, that He frequently went off to quiet places to spend time with the Father in prayer.  Out of a variety of circumstances, Jesus was constantly devoting chunks of alone time to talking with His Father in Heaven.

Second, Jesus’ main concern in His prayers was the Father.  Jesus was primarily focused on the Father’s plan and the Father’s glory.  His aim was to increase the Father’s glory – which means to enhance the Father’s reputation and honor in the world, and this was primarily achieved as Jesus completed the mission that the Father gave Him to accomplish.

As rich as that study was, as I moved on to other parts of Scripture I didn’t always remember these main lessons.  Looking back, my prayer life has both ebbed and flowed…tossed about by circumstance and my mental state of the moment.  One particular item I’ve struggled with is staying focused while praying. 

When I pray, I’m usually sitting in a quiet room with my eyes closed to avoid visual distractions.  My conversation with the Father starts out alright, but about half way through the fourth sentence…my mind jumps to something that needs my attention later on in the day, or I remember what I had forgotten to buy at the store, or I start to process a relationship problem that needs addressed at work or with a friend or in my family. 

It never fails…my mind picks the worst possible moment to leave the deep waters of relationship with the Father, and I starting splashing around in shallow thoughts of the smaller parts of life.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve apologized to God for mentally abandoning our quiet time together.

I don’t think my struggle is all that unique, either.  In various forms, I’ve heard other Christians voice similar difficulties.  I suspect that ancient believers also dealt with this, because towards the end of his letter to the believers in Colossae, Paul wrote

Colossians 4:2
Devote yourselves to prayer; stay alert in it with thanksgiving.

Since Jesus’ death and resurrection bridged the gap between us and God, we know that as a child of God, we can pray at any time to our Father.  However, I think we tend to take advantage of that freedom and we get comfortable with sporadic communication.  Paul’s instruction here is to make prayer a priority, something we are devoted to.  Just like Jesus purposely setting aside chunks of time, we should as well.  Early morning, late night, commuting to work, or wherever we can consistently get time for just us and the Father; we need to make the time and protect that time from other things that will try to distract us.

This is where I’m so grateful for the second half of Paul’s instruction – stay alert in it with thanksgiving.  When my mind drifts off, I can immediately refocus my attention by thanking God for something, anything.  Giving thanks takes the focus off of me and my agenda because it makes me look toward the person I’m saying “Thank you” to.

As I have been applying Paul’s instruction, I’m realizing how a lack of thanksgiving has kept me unfocused…and being unfocused has prevented me from growing deeper with the Father.  So I need to make sure I’m purposely scheduling chunks of time with the most important Person in my life, and also telling Him about all the parts of my life that I am thankful for.  I’m certain that as I do this, my concern for the Father’s plan and the Father’s glory will increase.  Then I will begin praying like Jesus did, because my relationship with the Father will be a lot like Jesus’ relationship with the Father.

Maturity, growth, and deep relationship will not happen if we give God some sporadic moments of talk during our week.  The richness of a relationship with our Creator will only happen as we devote time to Him.  Will you make that choice?  The first step is simply saying “Thank you”.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Skeleton key: Found and lost

Imagine this scene with me:

“Based on the last letter, I think this is it.” the young priest says, as you both stand in front of a crude, scaled replica of Solomon’s throne.  You recognize it because it matches the description you had read before in the Old Testament book of 1 Kings:

A large ivory throne, overlaid with fine gold.  The throne had six steps; there was a rounded top at the back of the throne, armrests on either side of the seat, and two lions standing beside the armrests.  Twelve lions were standing there on the six steps, one at each end.

This replica was made of wood and painted to look like the precious materials Solomon would have used.  All of the steps had a small rug in the middle, and the lions on either side of the step were each labeled with a Latin name.  From the bottom step going up, the lions’ translated named pairings were: Wisdom-Discipline, Understanding-Instruction, Righteousness-Justice, Integrity-Shrewdness, Knowledge-Discretion, and Learning-Guidance.

“If this is it, there’s got to be a hidden compartment.  But then…we’d need a key of some sort,” you mutter to yourself.  Looking at the steps, you see the front of the first one has a faint label that says: The fear of the Lord.  Your eyes pop open wide as you realize what needs to be done next.  “It’s the skeleton key,” you excitedly tell the young priest. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, fools despise wisdom and discipline.”

You stand on the rug of the first step, with the lions labeled Wisdom and Discipline on either side of you.  You can’t reach the name plates while standing up, so you get down in a kneeling position.  From there, you can touch both name plates.  When you press them down at the same time, you hear a click as an unseen drawer from the riser of the next step opens up – right in front of your face.

A sharp voice broke the silence in the room, “What’s going on, here?”

You and the young priest turn around to see an older priest, leaning on a staff.  Although his body was declining, his piercing eyes let you know that his mind was still clear.  “I’m sorry, Your Grace,” the young priest stammered.  His face was draining color so fast that you were afraid he’d soon pass out.

The old priest’s eyes snap to you, and before you can get any words out, he lifts his hand.  “Let me guess.  You’re here for the Book of Life.  Don’t bother, the drawer is empty.”  You take a quick glance at the open drawer behind you, confirming what the old priest said.  He continued, “How about you tell me how you got this far, and I won’t call the police?”

You tell him your whole story, from the old man in the bookstore, the dream you had on the plane, the three letters you found in the Beit Ariela library from Artemis Danling, and the cyphers you found in each letter.  After hearing the details of your adventure, he says, “Let me fill in the rest of your story.  When I was a young priest, a treasure hunter, by the name of Theodore Bixon, came here searching for the Book of Life.  I saw him do the same thing you just did, and he found the manuscript in the hidden drawer.  He said it was exactly where his mentor told him it would be.  The Book of Life turned out to be an ancient copy of Solomon’s introduction to his collection of wisdom sayings – the first nine chapters from the book of Proverbs.  The manuscript was dated to be from about 200 BC.  If you would like to see it, you can find it at the Shrine of the Book, here in Jerusalem, displayed along with the Dead Sea Scrolls.  While Bixon was always credited with finding the manuscript, no one ever knew how he did it.  I’m sure they’d be interested in the letters you found, as well as your story.”

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And here ends our story.  I hope these vignettes have been helpful, at least as a different way to look at the beginning to the book of Proverbs.  The description of Solomon’s throne is from 1 Kings 10:18-20 (however, the names of the lions was something I added).  By now, you may also be able to quote the skeleton key from memory:

Proverbs 1:7
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, fools despise wisdom and discipline.

The book of Proverbs is divided up into 31 chapters, and – just like the old priest said – the first 9 chapters are simply the introduction to the actual collection of proverbs!  That’s a large amount of space, roughly 30% of the text, Solomon uses to convince his son that the pursuit of wisdom is supremely beneficial to his life.

In the introduction, Solomon discusses how wisdom will impact relationships, finances, work ethic, sexual temptation, and many other major life topics.  I highly recommend that you read through the introduction, too.  You’ll find clearly stated consequences for our life-path choices and a couple of interesting allegory stories that tell how our earthly lives can be either found or lost, purposeful or wasted.

From here, we’re going to look at a number of proverbs that will help us incorporate wisdom into our day-to-day choices.  Ultimately, that’s what wisdom is – the application of Godly knowledge so we can skillfully live our earthly lives.

So, realistically, Proverbs is the Book of Life.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Skeleton key: Look again

Imagine this scene with me:

Tired of looking through dusty library books for information about The Book of Life, you go back to the bookmark letters you found a few hours ago.  You know that you’ve seen the name at the bottom of the first letter before, and it’s really starting to bother you that you can’t place it.

A quick internet search fills in your memory gap.  “A. Danling” was Artemis Danling, an antiquities dealer and occasional treasure hunter who took special interest in ancient puzzles and riddles.  According to your search, he had a knack for finding treasures that others had sought for years.  One site had a piece of information that really got your attention: on his deathbed, he bemoaned that there were still puzzles left unsolved; however, his biggest regret was that there were puzzles he felt he had solved, but could not travel to verify his hunch, due to his declining health. 

Unfortunately, you were unable to find any connection between Artemis Danling and The Book of Life, and there was no mentioning of a son with his last name.

After reading up on his life, your mind begins to spin.  Maybe…just maybe…the letters you found were more than just bookmarks.  The second letter’s text reads:

My son,
Don’t forget my teaching, my commands; for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.
Never let loyalty and faithfulness leave you.
Tie them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you will find favor and high regard with God and people.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding;
in all your ways know Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Don’t be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
This will be healing for your body and strengthening for your bones.

Honor the Lord with your possessions and with the first produce of your entire harvest;
then your barns will be completely filled, and your vats will overflow with new wine.
Do not despise the Lord’s instruction, my son, and do not loathe His discipline;
for the Lord disciplines the one He loves, just as a father disciplines the son in whom he delights.

“A. Danling” is signed at the bottom of this one, too.  Again, the letter’s formatting stands out to you.  Same as with the first letter, you notice how the letter’s structure helps drive the point that the father is making to his son – but you wonder if there is more to the letter than what you can see on the first read.

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It often takes me more than one reading of a paragraph or a Scripture passage to understand what the author is trying to say.  Large scoops of new information cannot be processed in just one bite.  There is absolutely no shame in going back to re-read something – it’s more important that you understand what the author is saying, rather than you reading something once and moving on just so you can finish.

The above passage is from Proverbs 3:1-12, and admittedly, Solomon says a lot in such a small section.  Fortunately, his consistent structure helps us understand.  Generally speaking, he says to “Do something” or “Don’t do something” and then gives a Benefit.  If we charted them out, here’s what we find:

Verses 1-4:
Don’t do something – Benefit – Do something – Benefit

Verses 5-8:
Do something – Benefit – Don’t do something – Benefit

Verses 9-12:
Do something – Benefit – Don’t do something – Benefit

Perhaps the best way to find an application from this text is to look at the benefits that Solomon describes and then do (or don’t do) what he says will get you there.

Want to find favor and high regard with God and people?  Then never let loyalty and faithfulness leave you…regularly practice them, as rhythmic as your heartbeat.

Do you want healing for your body and strengthening for your bones?  Then don’t be wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.  Staying out of a self-centered mindset and staying off the paths that lead to trouble provides more opportunity for healing, strengthening, and recovery.

Would you like to be fully supplied with food and resources?  Then honor the Lord with your possessions and with the first produce of your entire harvest.  Remembering that the Lord gave it all to you and to give back the first of your wages demonstrates your trust in God and His ability to provide for you.

Solomon presents many good benefits…go back and look at the passage again…which wise choice will you make, which beneficial outcome will you pursue?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Practical assistance

Although he had been king of Israel for many years, David suddenly found himself in the middle of a national crisis.  His third oldest son, Absalom, who had been plotting against him for years, had finally launched his revolt and had proclaimed himself as king.  When David received word of Absalom’s coup, he knew he had to act fast:

2 Samuel 15:13-17
Then an informer came to David and reported, “The hearts of the men of Israel are with Absalom.”

David said to all the servants with him in Jerusalem, “Get up.  We have to flee, or we will not escape from Absalom!  Leave quickly or he will overtake us quickly, heap disaster on us, and strike the city with the edge of the sword.”

The king’s servants said to the king, “Whatever my lord the king decides, we are your servants.”  Then the king set out, and his entire household followed him.  But he left behind ten concubines to take care of the palace.  So the king set out, and all the people followed him.

It wouldn’t have been enough for David to slip out and run off on his own.  In those days, when a king was overthrown, all his supporters – and especially his family members – were immediately killed to ensure there were no rivals left to oppose the new king.

In addition to saving his supporters, David also wanted to spare Jerusalem from any violence or destruction the would occur if his supporters engaged Absalom’s troops within the city.  David had to make plans – on the fly – about who stayed behind and who would travel with him.  Based upon the detail given in the rest of the chapter, the group David left with could be estimated between 750-1,000 men, women, and likely children: a mix of allies, warriors, servants, and family members.  They would be no match for the thousands of warriors at Absalom’s disposal.

David and company quickly headed to the Jordan river, likely traveling between 15 and 20 miles.  They were exhausted when they got there, so they stopped to rest (2 Samuel 16:14).  Once word arrived that Absalom was coming for them in the morning, they crossed over the Jordan river during the night.  From there, they continued their flight another 25 miles north to Mahanaim.  It was in Mahanaim that David finally received some help:

2 Samuel 17:27-29
When David came to Mahanaim, Shobi son of Nahash from Rabbah of the Ammonites, Machir son of Ammiel from Lo-debar, and Barzillai the Gileadite from Rogelim brought beds, basins, and pottery items.  They also brought wheat, barley, flour, roasted grain, beans, lentils, honey, curds, sheep, goats, and cheese from the herd for David and the people with him to eat.  They had reasoned, “The people must be hungry, exhausted, and thirsty in the wilderness.”

The Bible account doesn’t say if Shobi, Machir, and Barzillai coordinated their help or if they acted individually and simply brought what they could.  Either way, their support came at just the right time.  A group of that size would not last long without food, support, and rest.  And these regional leaders did what they could to provide for David and his people.

I find the last comment added to be rather insightful.  We don’t have to wonder why they brought their provisions.  We are given their motivation: They had reasoned, “The people must be hungry, exhausted, and thirsty in the wilderness.”

Let’s think about the situation.  National upheaval was happening.  Shobi, Machir, or Barzillai could not have stopped the coup attempt, nor would they be able to prevent civil war.  However, they recognized a need and used what resources they had to provide timely help.

The example I see for us modern folks is to do the same.  Regardless of which way the political winds are blowing, there are people who need food, support, and rest.  If you don’t know anyone personally that is struggling, it would not take much effort to identify organizations and ministries that do great work to reach those in need.

The kind of help I’m envisioning isn’t one where you just go online and donate $20.  Although that would probably be appreciated, the example provided by Shobi, Machir, and Barzillai is specific, targeted gifts that met the needs of David and those he was responsible for.  And…their gifts were personally delivered, which means these three gave their time as well. 

It’s hard to be the hands and feet of the body of Christ if we don’t get off our duffs.  Be proactive.  Be intentional.  There are many who are hungry, exhausted, and thirsty for what you have to offer – be it great or small.  Because even a small amount of support, when given personally, is a great help.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Kid, don't tell me "No"

When our older son was three and our younger son was less than a year old, we took a trip to visit family.  The trip was good, but one scene certainly stands out in my memory.  Our three year old was acting very much like a three year old that day…rambunctious, high-energy, and constantly repeating his latest favorite word, “No”. 

If you have parented through this stage, I’m sure you can agree that this is a difficult time.  Everything…and I mean everything…gets a “No” reply:

Can you come here please?  No.
Are you hungry?  No.
Do you want to play a game?  No.
Do you need to go to the bathroom?  No. (and you know that’s not true)
Stop hitting your brother.  No.
Go get your shoes, it’s time to go.  No.
Your mom called you, go see her.  No.
What’s your favorite color?  No.
(sitting by himself and talking)  No.  No.  No.  No.  No.

Developmentally, he was finding his voice and learning the proper/improper use of this powerful word.  Even if “No” didn’t fit the context, was untruthful (like when he actually was hungry, or he really did need to go to the bathroom), or was disrespectful, he was going to say it and find out what the consequences were. 

As a parent, this stage wears on your patience.  And by the end of this particular day, my patience was extra thin.  We were all tired, and the constant dripping of No-No-No-No-No had gotten on my last nerve.  After being told to do something and replying with a defiant “No.”, I looked him in the eyes and said “If you say ‘no’ one more time, you’re getting spanked.”  I turned around to walk into the next room, and before I took three steps, behind me I heard

“No.”

I took a deep breath and spun around.  He had just earned a spanking, and he was going to get one.  When our eyes met this time, his were huge, like a deer in the headlights, because he knew what was coming next by the look on my face.

And then my wife burst out laughing.

She was in the room the whole time, holding our younger son.  I stared at her, trying to figure out what was so funny in the middle of this intensely frustrating moment.  She was laughing so hard that she could barely talk – but finally she eeked out, “It wasn’t him…it was…the baby.”

Here’s the kicker.  Our youngest hadn’t said his first word yet.  Not “dada”, not “bye”, not “mama”…nothing but incoherent baby babbles up to this point.  His very first word was the word “No”, and it nearly got his older brother in trouble when he said it!

I was ready to act on the information I had, but what I heard was taken out of context.  Because my back was turned, I did not see who actually said “No”.  If I had gone through with what I understood to be true, I would have unjustly punished my older son for saying something that he didn’t say.

As funny as this family story turned out…unfortunately, many Christians are guilty of doing the same thing with Scripture.  We find a verse that sounds good, that makes us feel good, and we run with it.  We plaster it on coffee mugs, wall hangings, and social media.  However, if we zoom out and look at the context of the verse, we find that the part we like best is only half of the sentence, or just a part of the author’s thought in the particular section.  It is entirely possible to look at a verse in context and discover that the opposite of our single-verse interpretation is true!

Let me give you a couple examples.  A favorite verse of many people is found at the beginning of Paul’s letter to the believers in Philippi:

Philippians 1:6
I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

This verse is typically understood to mean that God will always grow you through whatever challenges and circumstances you face.  That God is going to be working on us and with us throughout our lives.  While that feels nice (and God really does do these things), if we read the full context of the introduction of Paul’s letter (Philippians 1:3-11), we find that the good work isn’t an individual’s path to maturity.  Instead, the Philippian church chose to partner with Paul and financially support his ministry.  Philippians is actually a “thank you” letter, and in 1:6 Paul is telling them that their contributions and partnership will have impact until Jesus returns.  Interpreting in context instead provides a bigger application for us modern believers – we can see how a small gift from a congregation is still ministering to believers 1000s of years later, because we get to read this letter.  The Philippian believers wouldn’t have expected to have this kind of impact, but this example does give us confidence that God can do great things with our contributions and support of ministries today.

A second example is a quote from the Old Testament that often floats around social media when national circumstances feel difficult:

2 Chronicles 7:14
and My people, who bear My name, humble themselves, pray and seek My face, and turn from their evil ways, then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land.

If taught on a Sunday morning, I’m certain your pastor will encourage you to pray for your national leaders, to pray against the evil actions we see in society, and that by doing so, we can be hopeful that God will bless the USA.

And while we should be humble before God, we should pray and seek Him, and we should turn from evil, the promise to heal their land isn’t one that a modern church-age believer can claim.  The fuller context of 2 Chronicles 7:12-22 shows that God is talking to Solomon about a specific location (the temple in Israel).  God goes into great detail about how He will punish the nation of Israel if they abandon Him and what their responses to His punishment could bring.

If we still insist that this verse applies to modern believers, then we need to honestly struggle with a few more questions – namely how this applies to believers in other countries, especially ones like China, Iran, or any place that is violently hostile toward Christians.  Are they not praying hard enough?  Is that why God has yet to heal their land?

God responds in significant ways when we are humble, when we pray and seek Him, and when we turn from evil…but we can’t assume national revival in the USA based upon this verse.

Ultimately, we need to remember that the Bible was written for us, but not to us.  God’s promises were often for specific people at specific times.  We will find promises made to the church, but not every promise contained in Scripture is ours to claim.  Even still, there is plenty to learn about God when we come to a promise that was made to someone else, as they provide evidence that He is faithful to His word and that He cares for those who follow Him.

You may be wondering, What’s the big deal?  If I take a verse “out of context” but it’s still a good application, why should it matter?

Here’s the ultimate reason why we don’t want to take Scripture out of context – to mis-quote God, if you will – a verse out of context can easily lead to an application that is completely wrong and not what God intends for His children.  Just like when I almost unjustly punished my older son, I thought I had all the information needed to take action, but it turns out I didn’t.  My wife provided the additional context so I did not do something that would have harmed my relationship with my son.

We need to be willing to take God at His word.  All of it, in context.

Keep Pressing,
Ken