There are only three ways to learn
I can still vividly remember one particular scene from when our oldest son was in his preteen years. He had just gotten himself in trouble, and he was not interested in talking through the choices he had made. He only wanted to take his lumps and move on; however, he needed to fully understand what his choice caused and what would be the natural consequences if he didn’t make a course correction with his behavior. I didn’t go full-blown lecture-mode, but I did quote a proverb and then told him how it applied to his situation. As I walked away to leave him in his room, he sarcastically quipped behind me, “You know, not everything has to be a life lesson.”
I was more than a little irritated by that point, so as calmly as I could, I replied, “It is if you’re paying attention.” And then I left him to his isolation, hoping that he’d be able to better process this little skirmish without others around him.
It’s difficult to learn lessons when we’re not open to them. Assuming we’re ok in our ignorance – or that we’ll at least be able to get by on what we do know – can end up costing us in the long run. Since time marches on, our ability to adapt is directly connected to our ability to learn…and if someone is trying to help us learn before we make a mistake that doesn’t have a do-over, then it’s in our best interest to pay attention.
This is why we go back to the Scriptures, time and time again: to gain knowledge and wisdom, to learn how God designed this life and how best we can abundantly live it out. The book of Proverbs is a go-to for me, for that very reason. King Solomon wrote it to instruct his sons in the way wisdom can be woven into our lives. It is chock-full of applicable knowledge, and it is readily available for us to use. Here is a great example from Solomon:
Proverbs 24:30-34
I went by the field of a slacker and by the vineyard of one lacking sense.
Thistles had come up everywhere, weeds covered the ground, and the stone wall was ruined.
I saw, and took it to heart; I looked, and received instruction:
A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the arms to rest,
and your poverty will come like a robber, and your need, like a bandit.
Solomon learned a valuable lesson simply because he was being observant. When we are open to being taught by life’s examples, we can save ourselves a lot of trouble. If Solomon’s sons applied the lesson, they would find it less work to maintain their blessings than it would be to mount up the effort needed to completely repair a neglected field or replace an entire stone wall.
When you get right down to it, there are only three ways that we can learn something: by instruction, by observation, or the hard way. Solomon learned his lesson by observation – he saw someone else’s struggle and recognized that was not a path he should be traveling. Solomon’s sons had the opportunity to learn by instruction – if they followed the lesson provided, they would also be kept from the trouble that negligence leads to.
The third option was also available – they could ignore Solomon’s lesson and have to experience the hard way first-hand. The trouble with the hard way is…that it’s hard. There are many first-hand lessons in life that come with no do-overs or take-backs. Unfortunately, our hard-headedness and pride often send us down “The Hard Way” path.
Again, that’s why we need to return to the Scriptures. There are lessons to learn, both by instruction and by observation, but only if we are open to them.
Keep Pressing,
Ken