Our Best Life, Step 1: Reputation

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

              A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involves our reputation.

What feelings emerge when you meet a new person and during introductions, they greet you with the words, “Oh yeah, I’ve heard of you!”  Does panic start to crawl up your spine, your body tense, and your mind race…like a deer caught in headlights? 

Our reputation proceeds us, laying the foundation for future interactions with strangers and future considerations from those who already know us.  Those of us with poor reputations are met by people with their defenses already up, and we can expect that it will take a lot of effort to change their minds or posture toward us.  However, a good reputation has the ability to open doors of opportunity that would be locked for others. 

Having a good reputation goes a long way toward us living our Best Life.  A poor reputation is always followed by additional hardships, headaches, and stress that will sidetrack us from the important relationships and tasks we want to pursue.

So how do we obtain a good reputation?  It’s gotta be more than just being smiley and nice to people, right?  King Solomon pointed out two character traits that we must choose in order to generate a strong, positive reputation:

Proverbs 3:3-4
Never let loyalty and faithfulness leave you.
Tie them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you’ll find favor and high regard with God and people.

These two character traits – loyalty and faithfulness – are the fuel for a good reputation.  With these, we’ll find both favor and high regard.  And amazingly, it builds our reputation with both God and people.  That is a huge two-for-one outcome for keeping our word and being reliable in our follow-throughs!

King Solomon considers loyalty and faithfulness so vital that he warns us to never let [them] leave you.  Our active choice to incorporate them is emphasized by the word pictures he uses: tie them around your neck – put them on like the clothes you wear each day, and write them on the tablet of your heart – make them part of who you are.  When loyalty and faithfulness characterize us both inside and out, our reputation will create the opportunities for us to live our Best Life.

So, let’s check ourselves…

Does your reputation among your friends include loyalty and faithfulness?
Does your reputation at work include loyalty and faithfulness?
Does your reputation within your family include loyalty and faithfulness?

If you can confidently say “yes” to any of these, then you can probably also recognize the favor and high regard you’ve experienced.  However, if any of these questions bring a “no” or “not sure” to mind, don’t let this opportunity slip away – ask someone you trust to help you evaluate your reputation.  And then do what you can to improve it.  Your Best Life is waiting for you to do so.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I've apologized, so now what?

I messed up at work this past week.  I behaved in a way that is very atypical for me – while I was leading an online team meeting, I forcefully corrected a coworker.  You know the type of “discussion” I’m talking about – the kind where an awkward pause hangs in the air and the meeting clunks along afterward.  While the message I delivered may have been necessary, there were three glaring things wrong with it – my tone was condescending, I’m not his manager, and it was done in a public forum (there were two other coworkers and our manager on the call as well). 

No matter how much I thought my message was needed and/or right for him to hear…it wasn’t for me to say – in that manner or in that place.  So I called him the next day, and let him tell me everything I did wrong, how it made him feel, and how I wasn’t his manager.  While I was able to explain my motivations, he (rightly) insisted that I didn’t have all the information to provide the kinds of comments that I did.  I apologized for overstepping my boundary of being a coworker and for doing so in a public setting.  We ended the call in a friendly manner, and both moved on with our day.  In the days since that conversation, I have separately apologized to our other coworkers who were on the call.  They, too, have accepted my apology.

While I don’t expect any lasting damage to our friendship or ability to work together, a little awkwardness is bound to hang around for a while.  How will the next meeting I lead be conducted?  If I speak forcefully about anything, even on topics or relationships outside our team, how will I be perceived?  It’s been said that it takes years to build a good reputation, but one moment has the power to destroy all those years of work.

I’ve apologized, so now what?

A few days ago, I was reading in Proverbs while eating breakfast.  I normally study from the CSB translation, but this time I happened to be reading from my old NIV 84.  Here’s what practically jumped out on the page:

Proverbs 16:6
Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for;
through the fear of the Lord a man avoids evil.

My application was, and is, obvious.  Going forward, I cannot be preoccupied with how my teammates perceive me.  Instead, to re-solidify their trust in me, my focus will be to treat each of them in a loving manner and faithfully perform my responsibilities for my team – just as I have in the past.  To avoid making the same mistakes, I need to have an interest in and a healthy respect for the Lord’s instructions.

Don’t misunderstand me here.  I am not saying that I need to work harder to better behave myself.  I did not act poorly because I wasn’t trying hard enough.  Instead, I had forgotten who I am.  James warned us about this:

James 1:22-24
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.  Do what it says.  Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.

Don’t read that the wrong way, look back at the text…the word is the mirror that reveals what we look like, it shows us who we really are.  In James’ illustration, the mirror isn’t there to reveal our flaws – instead it shows us who we are in Christ!  It’s when we forget what [we] look like that we become hearers and not doers.

Since I have believed in Jesus for eternal life, I am forever a child of the King of the Universe.  As a member of the family, my identity is with Him.  I will be able to remember this as I look to His word to be reminded of who I am…and as I remember my identity, I will naturally treat my coworkers with love and faithfulness.

Because that is who I truly am.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Alex Trebek and thoughts on eternity

I’ve watched Jeopardy as long as I can remember.  While growing up, like many US families, our five-nights-a-week routine was to watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.  For me, this familiar routine lasted through grade school and Junior High, but dwindled a bit when I was a busy High School student.  As you can imagine, I didn’t have much time for a nightly quiz show when in college or starting out in my career…but I was always aware that Alex Trebek was still running the show.  That thought was always steadying, in a comfortable sort of way.

The last several years, my wife and I have found ourselves watching more of Wheel and Jeopardy.  Maybe it’s because of our months of 2020 COVID lockdown, but we probably watched and enjoyed the gameshows more than any previous year.  However, it was still a “watch-it-if-you-feel-like-it” situation each evening.  No urgency to see that night’s show.  The news of Alex Trebek’s recent passing wasn’t all that surprising – I mean, after all, he was 80 years old and fighting one of the most difficult cancers known to man.  Like many Americans, the news left me feeling as if some part of my childhood had also died.

But in the short time since he passed, I have noticed a change in my nightly habits…I’m much more intentional about making time to watch Jeopardy.

Maybe watching Alex’s final episodes is a weird way to cope with the idea that a consistent voice from my childhood is now gone.  Perhaps I’m looking for signs that his time was almost up.  But what I think my intentions boil down to, is this – his last episode will be aired on Christmas day, and that’s not very far from now.  I recognize that time is running out.

Tight deadlines and impending endpoints force us to focus; however, we also find the opposite is true – when deadlines are far off in the distance and the endpoint isn’t near, we tend to slack off.  We allow ourselves to be distracted.  If I was told in 2010 that Alex Trebek would stop hosting Jeopardy by the end of 2020, would I have started watching it more?  Likely not…

I think I finally understand why God doesn’t tell us the exact dates of His plan for human history – because we would treat Jesus’ return like the time in college I stayed awake all night to read the Odyssey and write a 5 page paper the night before it was due.  Never mind that I was given weeks of notice to complete the assignment…I waited until the last moment possible to start.  I procrastinated until it was nearly too late, and I was not in good shape afterwards.

Another danger would be that if we knew Jesus would not return for another 250 years…would we continue to live for Him, or would we give in to simply living for ourselves?

But we still want to know when God’s plan will unfold, don’t we?  Well, so did the disciples.  Here’s what Jesus had to say when they asked about the timing of His triumphal return:

Matthew 24:36, 42-51
Now concerning that day and hour no one knows – neither the angels of heaven nor the Son – except the Father alone…Therefore be alert, since you don’t know what day your Lord is coming.  But know this: If the homeowner had known what time the thief was coming, he would have stayed alert and not let his house be broken into.  This is why you are also to be ready, because the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

Who then is a faithful and wise servant, whom his master has put in charge of his household, to give them food at the proper time?  Blessed is that servant whom the master finds doing his job when he comes.  Truly I tell you, he will put him in charge of all his possessions.  But if that wicked servant says in his heart, ‘My master is delayed,’ and starts to beat his fellow servants, and eats and drinks with drunkards, that servant’s master will come on a day he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know.  He will cut him to pieces and assign him a place with the hypocrites, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Jesus doesn’t want His disciples to focus on the day of His arrival, He wants them to focus on their faithfulness until His arrival.  Look at Jesus’ parable – their status as servants is not in danger; however, their fellowship with the master and their future opportunities are at stake.  A faithful servant will be rewarded, whereas an unfaithful servant will be embarrassed, demoted, and regretful.

Paul said something similar to the believers in Thessalonica when speaking about the day of Christ’s return to rapture His church.  They were actually afraid that they had missed the event and had been left behind:

1 Thessalonians 5:1-6, 8
About the times and the seasons: Brothers and sisters, you do not need anything to be written to you.  For you yourselves know very well that the day of the Lord will come just like a thief in the night.  When they say, “Peace and security,” then sudden destruction will come upon them, like labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.

But you, brothers and sisters, are not in the dark, for this day to surprise you like a thief.  For you are all children of light and children of the day.  We do not belong to the night or the darkness.  So then, let us not sleep, like the rest, but let us stay awake and be self-controlled…But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled and put on the armor of faith and love, and a helmet of the hope of salvation.

It’s best we don’t know the exact day of Jesus’ return…we would not handle that information very well.  There will not be an announced deadline for our work to be turned in.  We won’t know ahead of time when the last episode of human history will broadcast.  However, Jesus does not want us to worry about when He arrives, but for us to maintain our faithfulness until He arrives.  For those of us who take that challenge and do it, there are great rewards to be had!

For some encouragement, let’s look at something Paul wrote to the believers in Galatia:

Galatians 6:7-10
Don’t be deceived: God is not mocked.  For whatever a person sows he will also reap, because the one who sows to his flesh will reap destruction from the flesh, but the one who sows to the Spirit will reap eternal life from the Spirit.  Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don’t give up.  Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us work for the good of all, especially for those who belong to the household of faith.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Will evildoers get away with it?

Other people sure can drive me crazy sometimes.  I am usually able to forgive a one-off type of mistake, but, in all honesty, those who habitually and knowingly do what’s wrong really irritate me.  Why do I find their behavior so agitating?  Maybe it’s their blatant selfishness…maybe it’s their ‘luck’ at avoiding consequences for their actions…maybe it’s the harm their actions can cause to others…perhaps it’s all of those, or even something else.  The bottom line, though, is that I find their repetitive evil behavior both vexing and frustrating.

If you can identify with me, we can take some solace in that this is not a new issue.  No matter how many times the news blames the Millennials or the GenXers, the problem of evil people “getting away with it” has been a human condition for quite some time.

In fact, some 3,000 years ago David was dealing with the same issue.  However, instead of simply lamenting the problem, he had a fix for it.

Psalm 37:1-3
Do not be agitated by evildoers;
do not envy those who do wrong.
For they wither quickly like grass
and wilt like tender green plants.

Trust in the Lord and do what is good;
dwell in the land and live securely.

David’s answer is to look past the immediate problem with the evildoer.  Instead, he encourages taking the long-view.  The long-view is looking at life from God’s perspective.  Although someone’s selfish actions are bothersome now – and it looks like they’re getting away with it – in the grand scheme of things, their time is very brief.

They may look strong for the moment, but they will wither quickly…and wilt like weak plantlings.  David says that our focus shouldn’t be all wrapped up in what the wicked are doing; instead, we should be focused on what we are doing before the Lord.

Interestingly, verse 3 could also be translated like this:

Trust in the Lord and do what is good;
dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.

This play on words reinforces David’s long-view perspective.  He’s contrasting the short-term thinking of the evildoer with the long-term approach of those who look to the Lord. 

It takes time to cultivate something, but it especially takes time to develop faithfulness.  Remember too that at this time in Israel’s history, they were living in the land God had promised to Abraham’s descendants.  They were where God wanted them to be.  No matter what they saw or how they felt about what was going on around them, God knew exactly where they were.  They hadn’t been forgotten – even if other people were acting like God wasn’t paying attention to their actions.

So, whenever we find ourselves getting all twisted up over the state of world or the selfish choices other people make, we need to stop fussing and take the long-view.  Our responsibility isn’t to fix them.  Instead we are to trust in the Lord, do what is good, and live faithfully where God has us.

Keep Pressing,
Ken
 

The importance of focusing on Jesus

After discussing how the church body should act and what expectations there should be for church leadership, Paul moves on to tell the Ephesian believers what will happen when their focus on God is shifted.

1 Timothy 4:1-3
Now the Spirit explicitly says that in the latter times some will depart from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and the teachings of demons, through the hypocrisy of liars whose consciences are seared.  They forbid marriage and demand abstinence from foods that God created to be received with gratitude by those who believe and know the truth.

An infiltration of deceitful, demon-influenced teaching being peddled by hypocrites from within the church itself?  I’m not sure about you, but that sounds like some pretty scary stuff.

The first observation we can make from Paul’s statement is that this is actually going to happen: the Spirit explicitly says that in the latter times some will depart from the faith.  As human history continues on its downward spiral to the inevitable moment when only Jesus can correct the sinful disaster we’ve made, the Spirit says that some will depart from the faith.

The second observation is that God isn’t surprised by this.  He already sees it coming.  He knows how and when his church will be inundated with false teachings.  We can take comfort in the fact that He isn’t caught off-guard, and He’s preparing us by giving warning ahead of time.

But who are those that depart from the faith?  Some commentators think that these people were never “true believers” in Jesus.  I don’t think that’s the case, though.  Why give believers a warning about a group of people leaving who weren’t really part of them anyway?

Instead, Paul is giving Timothy a warning to pass along to the church in Ephesus – that it is possible for believers to be deceived, and those who will be deceived got there because they paid attention to teachings other than what lined up with God’s revelation.

But that leave us to wonder…what happens to those believers who depart from the faith?  Does their “departing” mean they lose their salvation?

The Greek word Paul uses here for depart is different from the word translated as depart in other areas of Scripture when Paul refers to his departing Earth to go to Heaven.  Here, the word aphistemi means to withdraw, to remove, or desert.  It’s the same word Jesus used to describe the seed that fell in the rocky soil:

Luke 8:6, 13
Other seed fell on the rock; when it sprang up, it withered, since it lacked moisture…And the seed on the rock are those who, when they hear, welcome the word with joy.  Having no root, these believe for a while and depart in a time of testing.

They trust God for eternal salvation, but when times get tough, they don’t trust God with their circumstances.  Their choice leaves them withered; however, there’s no indication that God abandons them.  These believers do not lose their salvation, but they lack the life-giving relationship Christ offers because they have no roots.  They have departed from their connection to Him.

Luke uses the word aphistemi (translated to English as deserted) to describe John Mark’s abandoning of Paul and Barnabas:

Acts 15:38
But Paul did not think it appropriate to take along this man who had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not done on with them to the work.

John Mark had left the mission at that point, but his departing didn’t permanently banish him from fellowship with Paul, Barnabas, or the rest of the church.  Instead, he was considered not worthy of a later opportunity to serve.

So did Timothy convey Paul’s serious warning to the Ephesians?  Did they take heed?

Years later, while dictating a letter to the Apostle John to send to the church of Ephesus, Jesus said

Revelation 2:2
I know your works, your labor, and your endurance, and that you cannot tolerate evil.  You have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and you have found them to be liars.

They took the right steps to avoid listening to the liars who were peddling the ideas and teachings of those who oppose God.  Paul sent them a warning, Timothy delivered it, and the believers kept their focus on Jesus. 

In doing so, they did not depart from the faith in a time of trial.  And for their faithfulness, they received praise and approval from the Creator of the Universe and became an example for us.

Keep Pressing,
Ken
 

Finding favor and respect

Mentors have the great privilege of teaching their protégé about the important lessons God has for us in this life.  The earlier we listen to our mentors; the better quality our lives will have.

David taught Solomon to have a strong desire to gain wisdom.  After he became a father, Solomon wrote the book of Proverbs to communicate the importance of wisdom to his sons.  Several times Solomon told his sons “don’t forget”.  For us, this phrase gives a hint as to what lessons Solomon considered highly important.

Proverbs 3:1-4
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

Never let loyalty and faithfulness leave you.
Tie them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you will find favor and high regard in the sight of God and man.

The Hebrew word translated as loyalty is hesed.  Hesed means to have a zeal (in a good sense) in love and kindness toward any one; it especially refers to the grace, favor, and mercy God shows toward men or that one person may show to another.

The Hebrew word translated as faithfulness is emeth.  Emeth means to be truthful, faithful, and reliable.  It refers to what one can rely on because it is stable.  As we read the Scriptures, we find that we can rely on God because He is stable and sure.

Solomon’s son would have recognized the phrase loyalty and faithfulness, for these words are often paired together throughout the Old Testament.  Most often they are used to describe God’s character.  Whenever Solomon mentions them together in the book of Proverbs, they are treated as high and excellent qualities.

Solomon wants his son to keep these two Godly qualities – hesed and emeth – permanently around him.  Around his neck, they would be ever-present to everyone; and yet as they are written on his heart, they would be ever-present inside of him.

The ultimate goal of wisdom is not to produce external adherence to a body of rules; rather, it is to internalize the principles in a way that produces Godly character.  Imitation is the highest compliment we can give someone, which is why we are constantly encouraged to imitate God.  We were made in His image, so let’s act like Him!

Think of all the ways God has been loyal and faithful, how He has shown you hesed and emeth.  That same regard we feel toward God, others will project toward us as we imitate Him.  God will favor those who honor Him.

That’s an important lesson for us to learn…and an important one to pass along to the next generation.

Keep Pressing,
Ken