Our Best Life, Step 1: Reputation

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

              A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involves our reputation.

What feelings emerge when you meet a new person and during introductions, they greet you with the words, “Oh yeah, I’ve heard of you!”  Does panic start to crawl up your spine, your body tense, and your mind race…like a deer caught in headlights? 

Our reputation proceeds us, laying the foundation for future interactions with strangers and future considerations from those who already know us.  Those of us with poor reputations are met by people with their defenses already up, and we can expect that it will take a lot of effort to change their minds or posture toward us.  However, a good reputation has the ability to open doors of opportunity that would be locked for others. 

Having a good reputation goes a long way toward us living our Best Life.  A poor reputation is always followed by additional hardships, headaches, and stress that will sidetrack us from the important relationships and tasks we want to pursue.

So how do we obtain a good reputation?  It’s gotta be more than just being smiley and nice to people, right?  King Solomon pointed out two character traits that we must choose in order to generate a strong, positive reputation:

Proverbs 3:3-4
Never let loyalty and faithfulness leave you.
Tie them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart.
Then you’ll find favor and high regard with God and people.

These two character traits – loyalty and faithfulness – are the fuel for a good reputation.  With these, we’ll find both favor and high regard.  And amazingly, it builds our reputation with both God and people.  That is a huge two-for-one outcome for keeping our word and being reliable in our follow-throughs!

King Solomon considers loyalty and faithfulness so vital that he warns us to never let [them] leave you.  Our active choice to incorporate them is emphasized by the word pictures he uses: tie them around your neck – put them on like the clothes you wear each day, and write them on the tablet of your heart – make them part of who you are.  When loyalty and faithfulness characterize us both inside and out, our reputation will create the opportunities for us to live our Best Life.

So, let’s check ourselves…

Does your reputation among your friends include loyalty and faithfulness?
Does your reputation at work include loyalty and faithfulness?
Does your reputation within your family include loyalty and faithfulness?

If you can confidently say “yes” to any of these, then you can probably also recognize the favor and high regard you’ve experienced.  However, if any of these questions bring a “no” or “not sure” to mind, don’t let this opportunity slip away – ask someone you trust to help you evaluate your reputation.  And then do what you can to improve it.  Your Best Life is waiting for you to do so.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

This may be why God hasn’t answered

Have you ever tried to bargain with God?  What were you asking for?  What did you offer?

Common things we ask for:
Removal from a difficult circumstance
Safety, security
Financial success
Healing from illness
A specific person to be our spouse

Common things we offer:
We’ll go to church every week
We’ll give money to the church or to the poor
We’ll never ask for anything again
Promise to stop swearing or smoking or drinking, etc.

The ancient Israelites often took the same approach when they wanted something from God.  One of the ways they would “bargain” is by instituting a fast on a particular day of the week.  Very religious Israelites would fast on two separate days each week.  A “fast” is where you give up something, typically food, for a period of time.  They intended to get God’s attention and favor based upon them denying themselves food, and doing this as a sacrifice to God.  However, they weren’t getting the results they wanted:

Isaiah 58:3
“Why have we fasted, but you have not seen?
We have denied ourselves, but you haven’t noticed!”

In Israel’s context, the feelings of hunger felt throughout the day were supposed to remind them of their need for God.  Just as the body relies on a daily intake of food, they should also rely on a daily intake of God.  While they went through with the sacrificial activities of the fast, God took issue with how the Israelites were treating the rest of their day:

Isaiah 58:3-5
“Look, you do as you please on the day of your fast, and oppress all your workers.  You fast with contention and strife to strike viciously with your fist.  You cannot fast as you do today, hoping to make your voice heard on high.  Will the fast I choose [to respond positively to] be like this: A day for a person to deny himself, to bow his head like a reed, and to spread out sackcloth and ashes?”

For God, the purpose of a fast wasn’t for someone to just go through the motions of denying themselves and acting religious.  Notice that their fast was self-focused: a person denies himself, bows his head, spreads out sackcloth and ashes.  Instead, the kind of sacrifice God was looking for from those who fast included other people:

Isaiah 58:6-7
“Isn’t this the fast I choose:
To break the chains of wickedness,
to untie the ropes of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free,
and to tear off every yoke? 

Is it not to share your bread with the hungry,
to bring the poor and homeless into your house,
to clothe the naked when you see him,
and not to ignore your own flesh and blood?”

It’s as if God is saying, “You want to deny yourselves, out of reverence to Me?  Then deny your claim on your time and help rescue other people from their chains and oppression.  Don’t just deny yourself the food in your house, but instead give it away to someone who doesn’t have any.  Give the space in your home, give away your clothes, and give love to your family.”

God doesn’t want religious robots.  If He wanted puppets, then He would have created them.  God doesn’t want self-centered sacrifices, either. 

But if…IF…the Israelites were to sacrificially fast the way God described, then this is how He promised to respond:

Isaiah 58:8-12
“Then your light will appear like the dawn, and your recovery will come quickly.
Your righteousness will go before you, and the Lord’s glory will be your rear guard.
At that time, when you call, the Lord will answer,
when you cry out, He will say, ‘Here I am.’
If you get rid of the yoke among you, the finger-pointing and malicious speaking,
and if you offer yourself to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted one,
then your light will shine in the darkness, and your night will be like noonday.

The Lord will always lead you, satisfy you in a parched land, and strengthen your bones.
You will be like a watered garden and like a spring whose water never runs dry.
Some of you will rebuild the ancient ruins; you will restore the foundations laid long ago,
you will be called the repairer of broken walls, the restorer of streets where people live.”

What would it be like to have a reputation that reads like that???
What would it be like to have a relationship with God like that???

There are so many incredible benefits listed here, but there’s a condition in the middle of the section that shouldn’t be missed – if you offer yourself to others.  Not “sit in a church pew.”  Not “throw a few more dollars in the offering bucket.”  Not “try harder to avoid doing bad habits.”  Not making promises to God you probably won’t keep.

Maybe you’ve prayed.  Maybe you’ve promised.  Maybe God is looking for a different sacrifice before moving in your life…and it starts with us moving in the lives of those around us.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: watch your mouth

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that trips us all up: what we say and how we say it.

Our words matter, and once they are said, there are no take-backs.  We have several familiar phrases in the English language to communicate this truth:

You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.
You’ve let the cat out of the bag.
You can’t unring that bell.

When Solomon was instructing his son about living wisely – how to skillfully apply knowledge to his earthly life – he frequently brought up the words his son would choose.

The first proverb we’ll look at might feel a little obvious…but sometimes we need to be reminded of the obvious:

Proverbs 11:13
A gossip goes around revealing a secret,
but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.

Being labeled as a gossip or as a trustworthy person is a matter of verbal reputation.  You can be known as either one, but not both.  If you share another person’s secrets or words spoken in confidence, you are betraying the trust that was placed in you.  As long as keeping the secret does not bring harm to others, the best use of our words when another person shares confidential information is to not use them at all…in essence, being trustworthy is often a matter of us keeping our teeth together and saying nothing.

Next, we find Solomon addressing a common situation in life: what to do with an angry person.  Whether the anger is caused by Solomon’s son or if he happens to get caught in the cross-fire of another person’s issues, he’s going to have to navigate situations were other people are seeing red and are looking for a fight.  Curiously, Solomon does not tell him to fight fire with fire:

Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away anger,
but a harsh word stirs up wrath.

Anger is a secondary emotion.  While anger may be at the surface-level and more prominent, there is always a primary emotion found underneath, driving that angry response.  Perhaps they feel taken advantage of, or foolish, or embarrassed…whatever the root cause is, the angry outburst is almost never subdued by fighting fire with fire.  Matching anger’s intensity or deriding it with a harsh word only escalates the situation.  In these situations, Solomon wants his son to use his words to diffuse the tension – and a gentle answer is the key to doing so.

Admittedly, giving a gentle answer in the heat of the moment is hard.  Not saying anything and keeping another’s confidence is also difficult.  Thankfully, Solomon clues us in to how we can make sure our mouths are doing the right thing:

Proverbs 16:23
The heart of the wise person instructs his mouth;
it adds learning to his speech.

You’ve certainly heard descriptions of other people like, “Her mouth has a mind of its own.” or “He has a loose tongue.”  These phrases attempt to excuse a person for running their mouths or speaking before thinking…instead, Solomon says that our mouth can be instructed and trained by what we have in our heart.  So, time to do a heart check – What are you feeding your heart?  What are you learning so that you can grow and have mature speech?

The benefits of being wise with your words isn’t limited to just you.  Being able to manage your mouth is more than having a good reputation and being able to handle an angry outburst.  Solomon also tells his son that his mature words will be helpful to others:

Proverbs 16:24
Pleasant words are a honeycomb:
sweet to the taste and health to the body.

When someone speaks kind words, encouraging words, supportive words, or empathetic words to you…those are special.  They are sweetly remembered, like a mental candy, that we can retaste anytime we recall them.  Our words can make someone else strong, brave, open, and confident…healthy at many levels of the body – mental, emotional, and yes, even physical.

Words are powerful.  What comes out of our mouths can make or break someone.  How will you choose to use your words today?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - Walk this way

We desire practical application. Learning new things is great…but our new knowledge isn’t useful until it is put into practice. Long-term investments are good…but only if there is a payout in the end. We also see this desire for practical application as we raise our children…we hope and pray that our parenting efforts produce healthy adults.

But when the “win” is achieved, who gets the credit?

Walk this way
originally posted on July 17, 2015

Spiritual gifts are meant to have physical impact.  God doesn’t give us grace, peace, wisdom, etc so that we can sit back and be comfortable.  Paul demonstrates this as he describes to the Colossians his prayer requests about them.  Look at the verses below and notice what Paul is requesting from God, but also look for why Paul wants God to give them these things:

Colossians 1:9-10
For this reason also, since the day we heard this, we haven’t stopped praying for you.  We are asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, so that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God.

Paul requested that God would fill the Colossians to the brim with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding.  As comforting as that sounds, Paul expected that there would be a practical, physical result of these believers growing closer to God – namely, that their lives would begin to reflect their relationship with God.  To walk worthy of the Lord means that the believers in Colossae would conduct their lives in a way that would point to God and bring honor to Him. 

Shortly after my oldest son started his first job, I received an Instant Message from a co-worker I had never met.  Her message was both short and striking:

Good afternoon, I wanted to let you know that I met your oldest son today on my lunch break.  You should be very proud – he is a great young man.

After interacting with my son, she was so impressed with his conduct and helpfulness that she felt the need to seek out his father.  When our children follow through on the instruction we’ve given them, they bring recognition and a good reputation to our family name.  When we hear back from others – whether it is from people we know well, or from complete strangers – that our kids are making wise choices and are conducting themselves in this way, we receive honor as their parents.

The spiritual parallel is obvious.  Our walk and our fruit in every good work need to point others back toward our Heavenly Father.  Paul knows this, and as such, he prays that the Colossians may be filled with the knowledge of His will.  When we know God well, we know how to represent Him well – and those around us will take notice and seek the God we serve.

Paul’s desire for the believers in Colossae to walk worthy of the Lord mirrors what Jesus said during His sermon on the mount:

Matthew 5:16
In the same way, let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

Do others see our Father in heaven based upon how we walk through each day?  If not, what are we being filled with…the knowledge of His will or something else?

Keep Pressing,
Ken 

A warning for the young ones

Success at a young age can have its downfalls.  We see it often in the entertainment industry, when a child star has national fame and an unending flow of fans…and then, as soon as their voice begins to crack, the public focus shifts away to the next young talented person.  The starlet usually doesn’t handle this rapid change in fortune very well, either.  Our news feeds are full of sad ‘Where are they now?’ stories.

I think a large reason why these starlets begin to flail and eventually fail is because they are not receiving sound advice as they navigate their early success.  Their manager’s (and oftentimes, also their parents’) ambition is to take advantage of every opportunity to keep the starlet’s name in front of the public.  Whirlwind tours, constant events, and deceptive sweet-talk convince the child that he or she really is the center of the world.  When the starlet begins to believe they are the reason for everything going so well, they think that they actually deserve the spotlight.

As Paul explains to Timothy which characteristics either seek out or avoid for someone to fill the overseer role for the local church, he includes this warning:

1 Timothy 3:6-7
He must not be a new convert, or he might become conceited and fall into the condemnation of the Devil.  Furthermore, he must have a good reputation among outsiders, so that he does not fall into disgrace and the Devil’s trap.

Paul’s concern is that a “young one” in the faith will not be ready to handle either the rapid success or flattery that could come their way in an overseer role.  An overseer’s job is to leading people toward God, helping them avoid personal pitfalls, and instructing them on how to navigate cultural issues.  However, if an overseer doesn’t keep his focus on God, if he begins to dwell on all the compliments that come his way…then he might become conceited and think that he is reason for his congregation’s success.

It was pride that cost the Devil his position as an archangel.  Likewise, if an overseer becomes conceited in his position, God will remove him. 

Satan is more than willing to use his experience to lay a trap for the overseers in God’s church.  Therefore, overseers must be vigilant in protecting their reputation among those in the larger community, and especially among non-believers.  The world loves to point out the stories of when Christian leaders fall into disgrace.  If an overseer is a new convert, then the risk of being caught in these traps goes up significantly…so it is better to let the young one develop a blameless reputation on his own before he carries the burden of representing a larger Christian community.

Paul doesn’t gives Timothy these guidelines so individuals will be excluded from doing the noble work of an overseer; rather, Paul wants to protect the individuals who do lead, the church, and most importantly, God’s reputation among unbelievers.  We need competent, mature leadership within our church family. 

This is why Paul mentored Timothy.  Now it’s Timothy’s turn to mentor others.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Your story, as told by others

There is an old riddle that asks the question:

What belongs to you, but everyone else uses more than you do?

The answer is – your name.

All kidding aside, there is a fair bit of truth to that.  However, others rarely use just our names.  Attached to the use of our names is that person’s opinion of us…our reputation. 

Reputations can be broad and widely held, but they can also be held by individuals.  A “good” reputation can take a long time to build, and only a momentary lapse in judgment or selfishness can completely destroy one.  And to top it all off, there’s only so much we can do about them, since we’re not around when our reputation (for better or worse) is communicated to a new someone.

Therefore, our reputations will go ahead of us into places that we’ve never been to.  It may feel strange to think but people miles away from us, whom we’ve never met, could actually have an opinion about who we are.

When Paul wrote his letter to the Philemon, he was in prison, and most scholars believe he was being held in Rome.  As the crow flies, Rome is over 900 miles from Colossae.  If you were to drive a car from Rome to Colossae on today’s highways, it would take you nearly 30 hours to get there.  Now let your mind move back to ancient Bible times….no cars, no social media.  A person’s reputation could really only travel by word of mouth.

And yet, from that far away, Paul hears of Philemon’s reputation:

Philemon 4-5
I always thank my God when I mention you in my prayers, because I hear of your love and faith toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints.

Whenever Philemon’s name comes up in conversation, what Paul also hears about is all the ways that Philemon demonstrates his love and faith.  By his actions and words, people can recognize his priorities.  They can also see which relationships in his life that Philemon considers the most important.  And his reputation of love and faith toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints went out for at least 900 miles!

I suppose, however, we shouldn’t be all that surprised at this, since Jesus told His disciples at the Last Supper:

John 13:34-35
I give you a new commandment: love one another.  Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another.  By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.

Jesus said all people.  When our love for one another is recognizable to others, it will also become our reputation.  And a reputation like Philemon’s will point others toward Jesus…even if we’re not physically there to share the gospel.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Walk this way

Spiritual gifts are meant to have physical impact.  God doesn’t give us grace, peace, wisdom, etc so that we can sit back and be comfortable.  Paul demonstrates this as he describes to the Colossians his prayer requests about them.  Look at the verses below and notice what Paul is requesting from God, but also look for why Paul wants God to give them these things:

Colossians 1:9-10
For this reason also, since the day we heard this, we haven’t stopped praying for you.  We are asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, so that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God.

Paul requested that God would fill the Colossians to the brim with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding.  As comforting as that sounds, Paul expected that there would be a practical, physical result of these believers growing closer to God – namely, that their lives would begin to reflect their relationship with God.  To walk worthy of the Lord means that the believers in Colossae would conduct their lives in a way that would point to God and bring honor to Him. 

Shortly after my oldest son started his first job, I received an Instant Message from a co-worker I had never met.  Her message was both short and striking:

Good afternoon, I wanted to let you know that I met your oldest son today on my lunch break.  You should be very proud – he is a great young man.

After interacting with my son, she was so impressed with his conduct and helpfulness that she felt the need to seek out his father.  When our children follow through on the instruction we’ve given them, they bring recognition and a good reputation to our family name.  When we hear back from others – whether it is from people we know well, or from complete strangers – that our kids are making wise choices and are conducting themselves in this way, we receive honor as their parents.

The spiritual parallel is obvious.  Our walk and our fruit in every good work need to point others back toward our Heavenly Father.  Paul knows this, and as such, he prays that the Colossians may be filled with the knowledge of His will.  When we know God well, we know how to represent Him well – and those around us will take notice and seek the God we serve.

Paul’s desire for the believers in Colossae to walk worthy of the Lord mirrors what Jesus said during His sermon on the mount:

Matthew 5:16
In the same way, let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

Do others see our Father in heaven based upon how we walk through each day?  If not, what are we being filled with…the knowledge of His will or something else?

Keep Pressing,
Ken 

Church leadership and God's reputation

What characteristics do you expect in your church leaders?

Google “characteristics of a church leader” and it seems that everyone has an opinion about what are the top 5, 8, 10, or 12 specific character traits that a church leader must inherently possess or attempt to develop.  Rather than dream up the requirements for a perfect leader, we’re probably better off asking ourselves this question:

What are God’s expectations of leaders in his church?

Titus 1:7 Since an overseer is entrusted with God’s work, he must be blameless…

Remember that to be blameless is to be free from any accusation of wrong-doing.  Other translations render the word as above reproach or without fault.  Paul’s point is that from the outside looking in, there should not even be a hint of the following five characteristics or activities:

Titus 1:7 Since an overseer is entrusted with God’s work, he must be blameless – not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain.

Any one of these traits would destroy a church family.  As such, they have no business being part of a church leader’s life.  On the flip-side, these are the characteristics to expect:

Titus 1:8 Rather he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. 

But let’s not make this a check list and completely de-humanize the person.  This isn’t just a list of do’s and don’ts.  The key to understanding what God looks for and why he requires these specific traits is found at the beginning of verse seven…

Since an overseer is entrusted with God’s work

He is acting as God’s manager, as God’s administrator, and as God’s trustee.  As the representative of God to both those inside and outside of the church, it is crucial that the man chosen to lead represents the same actions and motives that God does towards humanity. 

Do our church leaders exhibit all of the qualities that God desires?

Do we see a reflection of how God treats us in the way our leaders conduct themselves and interact with others?

If the answer is “No” for either of these questions, then they should not be an overseer entrusted with God’s work.  After all, God’s reputation is on the line.

Keep Pressing,
Ken