When feeling threatened

When was the last time you felt threatened?

That’s a provocative question, for sure.  But how quickly does a situation like one of these come to mind?

Did you feel threatened during a not-so-friendly competition at work?
Did you feel threatened when someone you thought of as a friend started attacking you?
Did you feel threatened when a relationship with your spouse, your child, or your parent went sideways?

What was your reaction to this feeling of being threatened, and what was your response to those circumstances?

However you handled it (for better or worse), know that you’re not alone in the experience.  Feeling threatened and figuring out how to deal with it is something we all must face.  It’s not new to the human condition, either.  Power struggles, at a personal level, have occurred throughout history.  So, it’s no surprise to find characters in the Bible dealing with threats to their safety, well-being, status, or position. 

After beginning Psalm 62 by recognizing God as the source of salvation, i.e. – rescue from life’s current circumstances – David and Jeduthun take a look at the world around them…and it doesn’t look like a safe place.  They have several questions as they confront those who are threatening them:

Psalm 62:3-4
How long will you threaten a man?
Will all of you attack as if he were a leaning wall or a tottering fence?
They only plan to bring him down from his high position.
They take pleasure in lying;
they bless with their mouths, but they curse inwardly.
                                           Selah

David and Jeduthun now introduce the main conflict, their earthly struggle with those who choose to do evil against them.  The assault is a constant barrage…those in support of evil are attacking the man of God, and their only plan is to bring him down, as if he were a leaning wall that only needed an extra push before falling over.

At the moment, their enemies aren’t physically attacking them.  Instead, notice what their main weapon of attack is –  their mouths.  Deceitful words pour out from the cursing within their own hearts.  The enemies’ lies are premeditated and aim to take David and Jeduthun down a notch.

If you’ve ever had someone bad-mouth you behind your back, I’m sure you can recognize David’s frustration here.  When dealing with two-faced people, it can be tough to figure out what their motive is and why they are spreading lies.  David’s question of How long will you threaten…? is dripping with aggravation.  How long will he have to put up with this?  How long will they try to get away with their slander?  How long until God steps in?

But then verse 4 ends with an obscure Hebrew term – Selah.  Although scholars aren’t 100% sure what this term means…many have suggested that it is a musical term to indicate a pause in the song, giving the ones singing a chance to stop and think about the song-writers’ point. 

And that’s a good idea…up until this point in the psalm, David has recognized that God is the source of his earthly rescue from trouble and that his enemies are continuously spreading lies about him.  Since we experience the same situations, here are some things to stop and think about:

Have you experienced malicious liars? 
Take a moment and think about how you have dealt with them in the past.
Take a moment and think about how God can rescue you the next time someone lies about you.
Take a moment and ask God to help you best respond when that situation happens.

Keep Pressing
Ken

Proverbial life: she is the example

This week, we’re wrapping up a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  We’ve seen that although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this series’ last blog post, we’ll look at how the book of Proverbs closes with an example of everything we’ve learned over the last nine weeks.

Interestingly, Proverbs 31 states that the chapter was written by “King Lemuel” and that this wisdom was given to him by his mother…but nothing else is known about either of these two people.  Some commentators theorize that King Lemuel was actually King Solomon, or possibly King Hezekiah, or even a fictional character made up by Solomon to demonstrate an ideal relationship between a king and his mother.

As we read through this descriptive example of a remarkable woman, look for the characteristics we’ve learned about from King Solomon:

Proverbs 31:10-31
Who can find a wife of noble character?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will not lack anything good.
She rewards him with good, not evil, all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax and works with willing hands.
She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from far away.
She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household
and portions for her female servants.

She evaluates a field and buys it;
she plants a vineyard wit her earnings.
She draws on her strength and reveals that her arms are strong.
She sees that her profits are good, and her lamp never goes out at night.

She extends her hands to the spinning staff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
Her hands reach out to the poor,
and she extends her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid for her household when it snows,
for all in her household are doubly clothed.
She makes her own bed coverings;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known at the city gates,
where he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes and sells linen garments;
she delivers belts to the merchants.
Strength and honor are her clothing,
and she can laugh at the time to come.

Her mouth speaks wisdom,
and loving instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also praises her:
“Many women have done noble deeds, but you surpass them all!”

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.
Give her the reward of her labor,
and let her works praise her at the city gates.

That is an impressive description.  Here are the ways she addresses seven our proverbial life topics:

·       Truly generous: her hands reach out to the poor

·       Being intentional: she selects wool and flax…she rises while it is still night and provides…she watches over her household and is never idle

·       Dangerous infidelity: the heart of her husband trusts in her…charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised

·       Money struggles: she evaluates a field and buys it…she sees that her profits are good…she makes and sells…give her the reward of her labor

·       Societal obligations: she extends her hands to the needy…her husband is known at the city gates…let her works praise her at the city gates

·       Watch your mouth: her mouth speaks wisdom and loving instruction is on her tongue

·       Contagious attitudes: she draws on her strength and reveals that her arms are strong…she is not afraid for her household…strength and honor are her clothing

The remaining two topics we explored – “accepting correction” and “you need a friend” – do not have explicit examples in the author’s description.  While we do not want to force seeing them into the passage, I would contend that she couldn’t have become such a great example without friends and accepting correction along her path.

Now that we’ve read about and identified the qualities for the wife of noble character, remember that the book of Proverbs began with Solomon telling allegory stories of Wisdom being personified as a woman.  Finishing the book about wisdom-living with an exalted woman example creates an intriguing bookend to the entire collection of proverbs.

Whenever we come back to the book of Proverbs, we would be wise to take Solomon’s advice.  And if we want a tangible example of how these proverbs flesh out in the real world, all we need to do is read about the women at the beginning and at the end of the book.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: watch your mouth

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that trips us all up: what we say and how we say it.

Our words matter, and once they are said, there are no take-backs.  We have several familiar phrases in the English language to communicate this truth:

You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.
You’ve let the cat out of the bag.
You can’t unring that bell.

When Solomon was instructing his son about living wisely – how to skillfully apply knowledge to his earthly life – he frequently brought up the words his son would choose.

The first proverb we’ll look at might feel a little obvious…but sometimes we need to be reminded of the obvious:

Proverbs 11:13
A gossip goes around revealing a secret,
but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.

Being labeled as a gossip or as a trustworthy person is a matter of verbal reputation.  You can be known as either one, but not both.  If you share another person’s secrets or words spoken in confidence, you are betraying the trust that was placed in you.  As long as keeping the secret does not bring harm to others, the best use of our words when another person shares confidential information is to not use them at all…in essence, being trustworthy is often a matter of us keeping our teeth together and saying nothing.

Next, we find Solomon addressing a common situation in life: what to do with an angry person.  Whether the anger is caused by Solomon’s son or if he happens to get caught in the cross-fire of another person’s issues, he’s going to have to navigate situations were other people are seeing red and are looking for a fight.  Curiously, Solomon does not tell him to fight fire with fire:

Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away anger,
but a harsh word stirs up wrath.

Anger is a secondary emotion.  While anger may be at the surface-level and more prominent, there is always a primary emotion found underneath, driving that angry response.  Perhaps they feel taken advantage of, or foolish, or embarrassed…whatever the root cause is, the angry outburst is almost never subdued by fighting fire with fire.  Matching anger’s intensity or deriding it with a harsh word only escalates the situation.  In these situations, Solomon wants his son to use his words to diffuse the tension – and a gentle answer is the key to doing so.

Admittedly, giving a gentle answer in the heat of the moment is hard.  Not saying anything and keeping another’s confidence is also difficult.  Thankfully, Solomon clues us in to how we can make sure our mouths are doing the right thing:

Proverbs 16:23
The heart of the wise person instructs his mouth;
it adds learning to his speech.

You’ve certainly heard descriptions of other people like, “Her mouth has a mind of its own.” or “He has a loose tongue.”  These phrases attempt to excuse a person for running their mouths or speaking before thinking…instead, Solomon says that our mouth can be instructed and trained by what we have in our heart.  So, time to do a heart check – What are you feeding your heart?  What are you learning so that you can grow and have mature speech?

The benefits of being wise with your words isn’t limited to just you.  Being able to manage your mouth is more than having a good reputation and being able to handle an angry outburst.  Solomon also tells his son that his mature words will be helpful to others:

Proverbs 16:24
Pleasant words are a honeycomb:
sweet to the taste and health to the body.

When someone speaks kind words, encouraging words, supportive words, or empathetic words to you…those are special.  They are sweetly remembered, like a mental candy, that we can retaste anytime we recall them.  Our words can make someone else strong, brave, open, and confident…healthy at many levels of the body – mental, emotional, and yes, even physical.

Words are powerful.  What comes out of our mouths can make or break someone.  How will you choose to use your words today?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Keep your mouth shut

One of my first jobs was in an environmental testing lab, and, for a time, there were three of us working together in the small sample preparation room.  Due to the equipment all around the room, there was always a steady background noise.  Although we got used to hearing the ambient noise, it did tend to make conversations across the room a little difficult.

One day, I was working on one side of the room while my two co-workers were on the other side.  They were having a causal conversation about something, but I could only hear bits and pieces of what they were saying.  From what I could gather, they were talking about a certain painter, but it was someone who typically did not come up in day-to-day conversation. 

Wanting to somehow insert myself into the conversation so I could also participate, I called across the room, “Hey, didn’t they make a movie about him recently?”.  They both turned to look at me with blank, yet irritated expressions.  After a few moments’ pause (which felt like forever), one of them said to me, “That’s literally what was said like five minutes ago.”  I felt foolish for forcing my way in to their conversation, and I had added nothing to it.  They turned their backs toward me and continued their discussion.  I knew in that moment, I should have just kept my mouth shut.

Figuring out when to speak and when to stay silent is a good lesson to learn when you’re young and starting out in your career.  However, the same desire to insert yourself into conversations or moments can sneak back in, even in things we are confident with.  For example, I like to teach.  It’s one of the reasons why I write this blog.  But as much as I like to teach through writing, there is something special when I get to teach others in a live setting.  I really enjoy watching as the light bulb of peoples’ minds turn on.  Sometimes it’s an instant “AHA!”; other times it’s like a dimmer switch gradually increasing, until they finally grasp what has been communicated to them.

Watching as God brings His light to others and getting to participate in the process is one of my favorite things.  It’s how God has gifted me, and it’s so good to work in the areas that He has gifted us.  But when it’s someone else doing the teaching?  It’s really hard not to jump into the conversation so that I (as a fellow teacher, of course) can “help”. 

Does this sound familiar?  If so, then perhaps we can take tip from Jesus’ disciples:

Before Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well, He had sent His disciples into town to buy food.  They were not there when Jesus initiated the conversation with the woman.  They didn’t know that Jesus spoke about her failed marriages and sinful living arrangements.  They had not heard her question about worship or when Jesus’ offered her eternal life.  In fact, the text indicates that the disciples arrived right after Jesus revealed Himself as the Messiah.

John 4:27
Just then His disciples arrived, and they were amazed that He was talking with a woman.  Yet no one said, “What do you want?” or “Why are you talking with her?”

Although it was taboo – and borderline scandalous – in the customs of Jewish society for Jesus to talk to any woman, let alone a Samaritan woman, the disciples did not openly question Jesus or the woman.  They knew and respected Jesus enough to not question either person.  Even Peter, who stuck his foot in his mouth on several occasions, was silent…

There wasn’t anything the disciples could have added to the conversation.  The teacher had already taught enough for the student to process.  Any additional points or ignorant questions about the situation could have completely derailed the Samaritan woman’s thought process.  Thankfully, all 12 of the disciples observed the situation and came the same conclusion:

They realized it was best, in this moment, to keep their mouths shut.

When walking into someone else’s conversation, especially a spiritual conversation, it’s often best to stay silent.  Even if we want to add something.  Even if we think we can “help”.  Crashing the conversation with our own questions/accusations/comments will have a bigger chance of derailing what God is doing instead of enhancing it.

Perhaps they (and God) don’t need our input at this particular time.  Maybe they will invite us into the conversation or ask us a question.  If that happens, then by all means, jump in and help as best as you know how. 

So let’s trust God not only with our words, but also with our silence.

Keep Pressing,
Ken