Proverbial life: she is the example

This week, we’re wrapping up a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  We’ve seen that although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this series’ last blog post, we’ll look at how the book of Proverbs closes with an example of everything we’ve learned over the last nine weeks.

Interestingly, Proverbs 31 states that the chapter was written by “King Lemuel” and that this wisdom was given to him by his mother…but nothing else is known about either of these two people.  Some commentators theorize that King Lemuel was actually King Solomon, or possibly King Hezekiah, or even a fictional character made up by Solomon to demonstrate an ideal relationship between a king and his mother.

As we read through this descriptive example of a remarkable woman, look for the characteristics we’ve learned about from King Solomon:

Proverbs 31:10-31
Who can find a wife of noble character?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will not lack anything good.
She rewards him with good, not evil, all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax and works with willing hands.
She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from far away.
She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household
and portions for her female servants.

She evaluates a field and buys it;
she plants a vineyard wit her earnings.
She draws on her strength and reveals that her arms are strong.
She sees that her profits are good, and her lamp never goes out at night.

She extends her hands to the spinning staff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
Her hands reach out to the poor,
and she extends her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid for her household when it snows,
for all in her household are doubly clothed.
She makes her own bed coverings;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known at the city gates,
where he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes and sells linen garments;
she delivers belts to the merchants.
Strength and honor are her clothing,
and she can laugh at the time to come.

Her mouth speaks wisdom,
and loving instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also praises her:
“Many women have done noble deeds, but you surpass them all!”

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.
Give her the reward of her labor,
and let her works praise her at the city gates.

That is an impressive description.  Here are the ways she addresses seven our proverbial life topics:

·       Truly generous: her hands reach out to the poor

·       Being intentional: she selects wool and flax…she rises while it is still night and provides…she watches over her household and is never idle

·       Dangerous infidelity: the heart of her husband trusts in her…charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised

·       Money struggles: she evaluates a field and buys it…she sees that her profits are good…she makes and sells…give her the reward of her labor

·       Societal obligations: she extends her hands to the needy…her husband is known at the city gates…let her works praise her at the city gates

·       Watch your mouth: her mouth speaks wisdom and loving instruction is on her tongue

·       Contagious attitudes: she draws on her strength and reveals that her arms are strong…she is not afraid for her household…strength and honor are her clothing

The remaining two topics we explored – “accepting correction” and “you need a friend” – do not have explicit examples in the author’s description.  While we do not want to force seeing them into the passage, I would contend that she couldn’t have become such a great example without friends and accepting correction along her path.

Now that we’ve read about and identified the qualities for the wife of noble character, remember that the book of Proverbs began with Solomon telling allegory stories of Wisdom being personified as a woman.  Finishing the book about wisdom-living with an exalted woman example creates an intriguing bookend to the entire collection of proverbs.

Whenever we come back to the book of Proverbs, we would be wise to take Solomon’s advice.  And if we want a tangible example of how these proverbs flesh out in the real world, all we need to do is read about the women at the beginning and at the end of the book.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: our contagious attitude

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that is easy for us to overlook: the impact of our attitude.

How quickly does someone else’s sour attitude twist your mindset and darken your thoughts?
How much better do you feel after talking with someone who genuinely smiles at you?
How short is your fuse when another person is unapologetically selfish in public?
Do anxious people make you feel anxious?
Can you think of someone who can change the mood of a room, for better or worse, just by walking in?

Unless we are on our guard and self-aware, we can be easily influenced by the attitudes we are exposed to.  Most of the time, the attitude shift comes from people we are in close proximity to, but we must also acknowledge that videos and clips of other people can also influence our mindset.

While we can look back and recognize times when another person’s attitude has had a profound effect on us…I think we tend to understate the impact our own attitude has on others.

Multiple times, Solomon addressed the contagiousness of an attitude from one person to the next.  When we read these proverbs, one side or the other will likely resonate.  However, the real skill in thinking through these wisdom sayings is thinking about yourself on both sides of the equation:

Proverbs 12:25
Anxiety in a person’s heart weighs it down,
but a good word cheers it up.

Are you someone who struggles with anxiety?  Do your cares weigh your heart down?  Are your fears (founded or unfounded) heavy on your mind?  If so, how much does a good word from a friend mean to you?  Admittedly, a simple check-in or conversation doesn’t cure your struggles…but empathy and compassion go a long way toward cheering your heart up.

But let’s flip this around…maybe you’re not anxious right now.  When you see someone who’s struggling (or attempting to mask the struggle), an intentional good word from you can literally be a life-saver.  However, it can be hard to know what to do when trying to help an anxious person…fortunately, Solomon gives us some guidance there, too:

Proverbs 15:30
Bright eyes cheer the heart;
good news strengthens the bones.

There are two ways to spread an attitude – through our facial expressions and our words.  Facial expressions can be tough to read because sometimes our faces betray us and don’t reveal where our minds are at.  As an example, I’ll admit to having “resting bothered face”.  I’ve been accused of being “too serious” or “too intense”, when I’m mentally at an even keel.  If you can relate, then we both should continue to work on our expressions when we interact with other people.  Bright eyes and a smile when we greet others will go a long way to communicating cheer and care, rather than them thinking we’re upset when we are not.

According to Solomon, the second way to spread a good attitude is to bring good news to others.  When someone asks how we are, do we lead with a depressing “Same stuff, different day” quip, or do we focus on sharing the good in our lives?

To further his point, Solomon offers this contrast:

Proverbs 17:22
A joyful heart is good medicine,
but a broken spirit dries up the bones.

There is nothing inherently wrong when we experience a broken spirit.  Many good things can come out of the hardest of hard situations in our lives.  However, prolonged living in such a state leaves us feeling like the life has been sucked out of us, or as Solomon aptly describes, feeling like dried up bones.  In those times we need someone to share their joyful heart with us, because their contagious attitude is good medicine.

Collectively, these proverbs leave us with a responsibility – and Solomon gives a stark warning about how much our words matter:

Proverbs 18:21
Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.

We remember words spoken to us.  You know which ones I’m talking about.  Words you’ll never forget.  They left a life-long impression on you, whether they were life-giving or life-taking.  So don’t discount the power of your words to influence another person’s life.  There is great power in the tongue, and our words and attitudes have the ability to out-live us.

The point of these proverbs is this: You are contagious.  Your mood, your tone, your body language...are all contagious.  What do you want others to catch from you?

I'm not telling you to fake anything or manipulate anybody.  But the attitude you choose will be reflected back to you and carried on by them...so...what attitude will you choose to share with other people?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: watch your mouth

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that trips us all up: what we say and how we say it.

Our words matter, and once they are said, there are no take-backs.  We have several familiar phrases in the English language to communicate this truth:

You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.
You’ve let the cat out of the bag.
You can’t unring that bell.

When Solomon was instructing his son about living wisely – how to skillfully apply knowledge to his earthly life – he frequently brought up the words his son would choose.

The first proverb we’ll look at might feel a little obvious…but sometimes we need to be reminded of the obvious:

Proverbs 11:13
A gossip goes around revealing a secret,
but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.

Being labeled as a gossip or as a trustworthy person is a matter of verbal reputation.  You can be known as either one, but not both.  If you share another person’s secrets or words spoken in confidence, you are betraying the trust that was placed in you.  As long as keeping the secret does not bring harm to others, the best use of our words when another person shares confidential information is to not use them at all…in essence, being trustworthy is often a matter of us keeping our teeth together and saying nothing.

Next, we find Solomon addressing a common situation in life: what to do with an angry person.  Whether the anger is caused by Solomon’s son or if he happens to get caught in the cross-fire of another person’s issues, he’s going to have to navigate situations were other people are seeing red and are looking for a fight.  Curiously, Solomon does not tell him to fight fire with fire:

Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away anger,
but a harsh word stirs up wrath.

Anger is a secondary emotion.  While anger may be at the surface-level and more prominent, there is always a primary emotion found underneath, driving that angry response.  Perhaps they feel taken advantage of, or foolish, or embarrassed…whatever the root cause is, the angry outburst is almost never subdued by fighting fire with fire.  Matching anger’s intensity or deriding it with a harsh word only escalates the situation.  In these situations, Solomon wants his son to use his words to diffuse the tension – and a gentle answer is the key to doing so.

Admittedly, giving a gentle answer in the heat of the moment is hard.  Not saying anything and keeping another’s confidence is also difficult.  Thankfully, Solomon clues us in to how we can make sure our mouths are doing the right thing:

Proverbs 16:23
The heart of the wise person instructs his mouth;
it adds learning to his speech.

You’ve certainly heard descriptions of other people like, “Her mouth has a mind of its own.” or “He has a loose tongue.”  These phrases attempt to excuse a person for running their mouths or speaking before thinking…instead, Solomon says that our mouth can be instructed and trained by what we have in our heart.  So, time to do a heart check – What are you feeding your heart?  What are you learning so that you can grow and have mature speech?

The benefits of being wise with your words isn’t limited to just you.  Being able to manage your mouth is more than having a good reputation and being able to handle an angry outburst.  Solomon also tells his son that his mature words will be helpful to others:

Proverbs 16:24
Pleasant words are a honeycomb:
sweet to the taste and health to the body.

When someone speaks kind words, encouraging words, supportive words, or empathetic words to you…those are special.  They are sweetly remembered, like a mental candy, that we can retaste anytime we recall them.  Our words can make someone else strong, brave, open, and confident…healthy at many levels of the body – mental, emotional, and yes, even physical.

Words are powerful.  What comes out of our mouths can make or break someone.  How will you choose to use your words today?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: you need a friend

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that is both incredibly simple and challenge-level hard: being open with a friend.

The loneliness statistics in America are staggering.  Cigna did a massive loneliness study in 2018, and here are a few of their findings:

·       Nearly 50% of Americans reported sometimes or always feeling alone
·       Two in five Americans sometimes or always feel that their relationships are not meaningful and that they are isolated from others.
·       One in five people report they rarely or never feel close to people or feel like there are people they can talk to.
·       Generation Z (adults ages 18-22) is the loneliest generation

Cigna followed up with another study in 2019 and a post-pandemic study – with both showing that the numbers are getting worse, not better.

We need connection.  God made us for community.  Solomon knew this and included wisdom about friendships in his collection of proverbs.  But friendships can be messy, can’t they?  A supportive relationship with someone who isn’t a blood relative or a direct dependent takes energy and effort.  While it may be tempting to just withdraw and focus on ourselves, Solomon actually cautioned against doing so:

Proverbs 18:1
One who isolates himself pursues selfish desires;
he rebels against all sound wisdom.

Without outside counsel, our aims become very selfish.  But seriously, what else would we expect?  If we’re going to isolate ourselves away from others, there’s no one left for us to focus on besides ourselves.  The problem with doing so is that we become self-centered in our thoughts and actions.  Isolation and loneliness is a trap for our minds, one that keeps us away from sound wisdom.  If we are alone long enough, our blind spots and selfishness warp our minds to the point that we reject – or even rebel against – any wisdom that comes our way.

But friendship is more than just correcting each other when we’re drifting toward selfishness.  Solomon also addressed one of the main benefits of having a friend:

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for a difficult time.

We were made to give and receive love.  Knowing you have a friend in your corner, someone that loves you at all times, is a great resource.  When we are giving that same love to our friend, we are removing our focus off of ourself.  This giving-receiving love process actually protects us from the isolation trap that Solomon described in the previous proverb.  Difficult times will come, but they are easier to navigate with a friend in your corner.

However, don’t think a loving friendship means that your friend has to always agree with you or support your ideas.  Sometimes, we need to be told that we’re heading in the wrong direction:

Proverbs 27:6
The wounds of a friend are trustworthy,
but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.

Even coming from a friend, correction still stings.  However, when we know our friend has our best interests in mind, the times they choose to warn us – even figuratively wound us – we know we can trust them.  This again goes back to the first proverb we looked at…a friend’s trustworthy correction keeps us from rebelling against all sound wisdom. 

If all you get are excessive compliments and kisses from someone, especially if they are nudging you towards your selfish desires or unsafe situations…that person is not the friend you need when a difficult time arrives.  Solomon warns us to be very careful with someone who tries to deceive us with an abundance of praise.

Our last proverb is probably the most quoted proverb on this topic.  With just eight words, Solomon perfectly describes the goal of friendships:

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron,
and one person sharpens another.

The goal of a friendship is to make each other better, to make each other sharper.  There are many things to love about Solomon’s word picture, but the main thing to take away is that the sharpening process doesn’t happen for someone who has isolated themselves.  Isolation develops a selfish mind and dulls our lives.  We need one another to help us grow into the man or woman that God has made us to be.

Do you have a friend you can count on, or are you feeling lonely?  If you’re drifting toward loneliness, talk to God about it and be on the lookout for someone you can connect with.  Do not let yourself become comfortable with being alone…you weren’t made for that.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: societal obligations

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that requires many of us to step out of our comfort zone: our individual responsibility in society.

It’s easy to become frustrated by the troubles and difficulties we encounter.  Both pain and suffering dominate our daily news headlines.  Each of us have either personally dealt with or know someone who has dealt with financial crisis, cancer, divorce, or broken family relationships.  From international news of famines and wars to your local city struggles with politics and crime (not to mention all the weather-related tragedies)…it is understandable that our natural instinct would be to circle the family wagon, and wish everyone else “good luck”.

But is that the best strategy?  What does God say about how we should participate as members of society – local, state, or even nationally speaking?

Solomon examined this topic in several of his proverbs.  The first one we’ll look at contrasts how a city is built up vs torn down:

Proverbs 11:11
A city is built up by the blessing of the upright,
but it is torn down by the mouth of the wicked.

If a city is developed and made better by the blessing of the upright, then it’s not enough to simply go to work, be a nice guy/gal, and pay your taxes.  How are you blessing your city?  Where are you investing your time, energy, and gifts into the world outside of your home?  Our cities won’t get better when left to themselves; action and investment is needed to grow a vibrant, healthy community.  Idle talk does nothing but tear down and tear apart relationships…to build up our city (and the people living there), we must be willing to put in some sweat equity.

The next proverb takes this concept and makes it extremely personal:

Proverbs 14:21
The one who despises his neighbor sins,
but whoever shows kindness to the poor will be happy.

The Hebrew word for despise is bûz, and it is pronounced just like the sound you make toward an opposing sports team.  It means to “hold in contempt” or “hold as insignificant”.  If we are booing our neighbor – if we are wishing that bad things would happen to them (for whatever reason) – then Solomon says that our thoughts and actions are sinful.

If we want to build up our city (and be happy, as well!), then we need to back off our negative actions and instead show kindness to those who are poor – in finances, for sure, but there are other places of poverty that need kindness, too.  Look for someone who has less than you: less skills, less opportunity, less education, less awareness of God’s love…and show kindness by investing in them. 

A few proverbs later, Solomon re-emphasizes his point:

Proverbs 14:31
The one who oppresses the poor person insults his Maker,
but one who is kind to the needy honors Him.

We were created in the image of God.  Every. Last. One. Of. Us.

When we oppress someone who has less than us – when we run them over to get our way, when we financially take advantage of them, when we cause or allow physical violence, when we deceive them – God takes that as an insult because one of His image-bearers has been wronged and denigrated.

On the off-chance that you read the last part and thought, “I’ve never ‘oppressed’ someone, so this doesn’t apply to me!” – I suggest reading this blog about what Solomon had to say about us blindly assuming we’re ok.

Our last proverb widens out the scope of our individual impact:

Proverbs 14:34
Righteousness exalts a nation,
but sin is a disgrace to any people.

Righteousness exercised is defined as right-living before God.  Living our lives in the manner God designed for us – with all the grace, compassion, wisdom, empathy, and strength that accurately reflects our Creator – will exalt our nation.  The Hebrew word translated as exalts here is the same word Solomon used above in Proverbs 11:11, translated as built up. 

Want to see God’s blessing on our nation? 

Then live righteously, showing kindness to the poor by investing your time, energy, and gifts to others outside of your immediate circles.  Society will not get better if we choose to sit on our hands and keep to our holy huddles.  Yes, doing so will require work.  And yes, parts of it will be hard.  But our Creator is willing to partner with us, and He honors those who do.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: money struggles

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that still has a lot of influence in our modern-day lives: money.

Money has always been one of the top reasons for couples to fight; it’s even one of the main relationship wedges that can lead to a divorce.  Amassing wealth is a common status symbol of our “greatness”, but, if we’re not careful, it is easy for the pursuit of more money to become the driving force in our lives. 

Nowadays, there are scores of books on money: how to make it, how to handle it, and how to invest it – and when Solomon was writing down his advice for his son to know how to live a wisdom-filled life, he touched on several places where money intersects with the rest of life. 

In our first proverb, Solomon tells his son the most direct way to acquire wealth:

Proverbs 10:4
Idle hands make one poor,
but diligent hands bring riches.

Money is necessary to make transactions in life.  We need currency to keep fed, warm, and protected.  The best way to keep these necessities on hand for ourselves and our families is to acquire enough riches to afford them.  In this proverb, the contrast of idle hands vs. diligent hands stands out – this tiny saying invokes a ton of personal responsibility and personal action when it comes to us making money.

Beyond basic necessities, Solomon points out another useful aspect of acquiring wealth:

Proverbs 10:15
The wealth of the rich is his fortified city;
the poverty of the poor is their destruction.

Last month, I came downstairs on a Saturday morning, and the entire first floor of our house was cold – as if someone left a window open.  What happened was that the motor on our downstairs heating unit locked up during the night.  That was a $700 repair.  Earlier this week, I awoke in a very cold bedroom, because a fuse and wiring had failed in our upstairs unit.  That was a $400 repair.  And, just this morning, I found that the load of dishes I started last night didn’t finish…because our 10 year old dishwasher died, mid-cycle.  I ordered a new dishwasher today, and it will be installed next week.

I list our family’s recent financial hits to point out that we are ok, because we have an emergency fund.  Putting cash aside every month has been our fortified city when (not if) these types of repairs come around.  If we didn’t have an emergency fund, any one of these issues would have been destructive to our finances.  If you don’t have an emergency fund…start one today.  Put something aside now, so that you are fortified and ready for when (not if) the alternator in your car goes out, or your refrigerator stops holding temperature, or the kids break a window.

However, when it comes to someone having money in the bank…Solomon pointed out that looks can be deceiving:

Proverbs 13:7
One person pretends to be rich but has nothing;
another pretends to be poor but has abundant wealth.

Back in my day, we would have called them a poser.  Pretending to be rich when they’re not?  Totally posing, just trying to make people think better of him.  But what is Solomon saying, that another pretends to be poor?  Come to find out, most millionaires don’t act like the millionaires you see on “Reality” Shows or on TikTok.  Take a look at this Ramsey Solutions study of millionaires…they’re much more like everyday people than you might think.

The last of Solomon’s proverbs we’ll look at has to do with next steps:

Proverbs 17:16
Why does a fool have money in his hand
with no intention of buying wisdom?

Saving money and amassing wealth is all well and good, but what are you going to do with it?  We certainly need a plan for making money and for saving money, but we also need to be intentional about why we are doing these things.  Having our goals in sight enables us to use money as a tool instead of it becoming the goal.  Money can help us overcome our foolishness if we are intentional about paying for the wisdom and skills we need to reach our goals.

It’s been said that money makes a terrific servant, but a terrible master.  In-and-of-itself, money has no morals, no politics, and no purpose.  We must define what those are…because if we don’t, we can get into all sorts of trouble.  If we take Solomon’s advice, we’ll be able to avoid many pitfalls and be successful with money.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: dangerous infidelity

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that we’ve all been directly or indirectly impacted by: infidelity.

When God gave Moses the 10 Commandments, the 7th stated “Thou shalt not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14) – or, as the KBC version (i.e. – according to me) states: Don’t screw around on your spouse, and if you’re single, that includes your future spouse. 

For many years, I’ve held the following position: If the entire world, regardless of their standing before God, could just follow the 7th commandment…then half the world’s problems would go away, and the other half would be significantly easier to deal with.

That’s how impactful infidelity has been to our world.  And, not surprisingly, when Solomon wanted to write down wisdom for his son, he talked many times on this subject.  We’re going to look at two of those times.  However, before we get into Solomon’s warnings, let’s start with one of his positive declarations:

Proverbs 18:22
A man who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord.

God designed marriage as a good thing, a special relationship where a man and a woman can connect and grow.  Here in this proverb, Solomon reveals a great promise – that also within this unique relationship, we can obtain favor from the Lord.  The Lord’s favor, blessing, or protection on our physical lives is not a guarantee.  In fact, in Scripture we see that God’s favor, blessing, or protection are often conditional upon how we are living our lives.  Whenever we come across a promise of how to obtain favor, we would do well to pay attention.

That said, Solomon’s son does need to be warned about the dangers of breaking his marriage covenant:

Proverbs 22:14
The mouth of the forbidden woman is a deep pit;
a man cursed by the Lord will fall into it.

Flirtatious words, ego-raising compliments, and promises of desire all sound good, but Solomon’s son needs to know that when these words come from a woman who is not his wife, he is in danger of falling into a deep pit.  In Jewish thinking, you are either blessed or cursed by God; and, as we stated earlier, these two options are often dependent upon a person’s life choices (e.g. – Deuteronomy 28).  If Solomon’s son isn’t walking with the Lord, he will be more susceptible to falling into this trap of the forbidden woman.

A second warning Solomon gives his son is also beneficial for us to review:

Proverbs 23:26-28
My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways.
For the prostitute is a deep pit, and a wayward woman is a narrow well;
indeed, she sets an ambush like a robber
and increases the number of unfaithful people.

A number of years ago – in the pre-smart phone days – I was traveling by myself to visit family in Nevada.  I was reading a book while waiting for my flight to Las Vegas, when two women sat down directly behind me and started a loud conversation.  Although my back was to them, given the tone of their voices and the phrases they used, I guessed they were both in their early to mid-twenties.  One of them had never been to Las Vegas, and the other had been there many times.  The more experienced one began coaching up her friend about all the ways to get guys to buy them drinks, take them out to eat, and get into exclusive parties.  She explained how to dress sexy, which ways to flirt, and how to toy with a guy’s affections throughout the night in order to exploit him for as much as she could.  Her friend was shocked that it would be “so easy”, but the experienced woman assured her that she was about to have a fun weekend with everything she wanted essentially paid for by other men.

After a little while, I grabbed my bag to go get some food.  As I walked back to my terminal and to the seat I was in before, I was able to see both women for the first time.  I had guessed correctly at their ages, and they were very attractive, especially the one who had been to Las Vegas before.  Based on their looks and their discussed tactics, I knew their plans would succeed.  They were about to manipulate their way into just about anything they wanted.

Solomon warned his son that these type of women were a trap, just like a deep pit or a narrow well.  They were setting an ambush like a robber, and they were about to fleece any man who would take the bait. 

As a father of two young men, this is a bit scary to think about…that they could become trapped and exploited by a woman that has zero interest in them or their well-being.  Warning them is a good place to start, but Solomon also showed how to provide maximum support to his son.  He gave himself as the example:

Proverbs 23:26
My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways.

To paraphrase what we’ve read so far: If your ears are full of the forbidden woman’s words and your eyes are blinded by her beauty, look to me as your example and I’ll set you right.

A mentor can be a lifeline when a man is walking toward or even caught in a trap.  Us guys need to be a resource for each other in order to keep our minds focused and our marriages pure. 

On the one hand, this is great advice from Solomon.  On the other hand, we must acknowledge that this advice is coming from someone who had 700 wives who were princesses and 300 concubines, and Scripture says they turned Solomon’s heart away from God (1 Kings 11:3).  However, no matter how you look at it, Solomon is still an example to his son.  His words, if followed, tell how to obtain favor from the Lord, whereas observing his life shows us the dangers of what happens when we make the unwise choice.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: being intentional

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that determines the success or failure of the resolutions so prominent this time of year: how intentional we are.

New Year’s resolutions are full of nice goals.  I want to eat better, exercise more, read more, and spend less time on my phone…but unless I am intentional about these things, not much is going to change in my life.  When we look at the book of Proverbs for advice on these life-change topics, Solomon’s focus isn’t looking at our feelings of what we’d like to see happen; rather he’s more interested in the results of our actions (or lack thereof). 

Our first proverb looks at a clear, stark contrast:

Proverbs 13:4
The slacker craves, yet has nothing,
but the diligent is fully satisfied.

We automatically assume that the slacker craves the “bad things”, like sweet foods and a life of ease.  However, the slacker’s desires are likely for good things…but without the intentionality demonstrated by those who are diligent, the slacker ends up with nothing to show for his good desires.

Our second proverb continues the thought:

Proverbs 14:23
There is profit in all hard work,
but endless talk leads only to poverty.

I have been guilty of this many times.  I’ve wanted to learn a new hobby, or read a stack of books in a year, or spend more time with my wife and kids – and I’ve talked endlessly about doing each of them.  But since I did not intentionally schedule time to learn the hobby, read each day, plan a date night, or plan a family game night…those things did not happen as I had hoped.  I experienced poverty in those areas because I didn’t do the hard work necessary to make them a reality.

Our third proverb tells us about our plans:

Proverbs 21:5
The plans of the diligent certainly lead to profit,
but anyone who is reckless certainly becomes poor.

Plans become profit when diligence connects them.  We have to intentionally execute our plans, or else we’re back to being full of endless talk.  Planning helps us stay the course to reach our desired destination.  Planning is what keeps us from being reactionary and reckless, because those two traits will keep you from succeeding.

Our last proverb reminds us what we should be intentionally pursuing:

Proverbs 21:21
The one who pursues righteousness and faithful love
will find life, righteousness, and honor.

When reading Proverbs, if we read the words diligent and profit, but only think about career and money, we’re narrowing the ability of God’s word to impact our lives.  We were designed to partner with Him and successfully represent Him in all parts of life, not just the way we bring in income.

So for your 2023 resolutions, consider pursuing righteousness and faithful love – because right here, we see that God says we will find life, righteousness, and honor.  All three of those sound good to me.

If they sound good to you, too, then be intentional about it.  Make a plan to pursue righteousness, be diligent in faithful love, and you’ll enjoy the profit of a full life, right-living God’s way (aka: righteousness), and honor.  May God bless your efforts to be like Him in 2023!

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: accepting correction

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a situation that most – if not all – of us find rather challenging: accepting correction.

When it comes to receiving correction (whether it is through advice or reprimand), we have certain steps that we reflexively take, and they go completely unnoticed most of the time.  Can you relate to this?  Immediately after hearing the correction, we begin to evaluate the source of the correction.  We ask questions like:

Does their authority level grant them the right to correct me on this?
Do I think they are competent enough to give good advice?
Do they know me well enough to make these comments?
Was the correction phrased in a way I accept, or were they harsh, rude, or mean in the delivery?
Are they being hypocritical?

If we deem the source to be unworthy or hypocritical…we allow ourselves to simply dismiss the correction.  But should that be our approach?  As we go through these proverbs, look for Solomon’s focus – Is it on the correction or the person delivering it?

Our first proverb deals with something you either love or you hate: instructions. 

Proverbs 10:17
The one who follows instruction is on the path to life,
but the one who rejects correction goes astray.

Some of us find comfort in instructions, while others believe them to be restrictive.  Both instruction and correction come from outside of us…someone else provides them to us.  Notice that Solomon isn’t addressing the instruction/correction giver here.  Are we willing to listen to correction in order to avoid going astray?

Our second proverb also gives warning for ignoring correction, but a little more bluntly this time:

Proverbs 12:1
Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,
but one who hates correction is stupid.

I hate messing up.  What makes it worse is if someone in authority calls me out on it.  Even if they’re gentle about giving the course correction, my internal self-flogging is always worse than whatever the correcting authority can tell me.  Because I am so much harder on myself, I have the tendency to disregard the “lower-level” of correction someone else provides.  This attitude can make it easy to dismiss their correction; however, according to Solomon, despising that correction makes me stupid and foolish.

Our third proverb gets right to the heart of the matter:

Proverbs 12:15
A fool’s way is right in his own eyes,
but whoever listens to counsel is wise.

Arrogance is blinding.  Again, our attitude is the one in focus; Solomon’s not talking about the correction-giver.  If we’re always right in our own eyes, we are certain to play the fool.  The opposite of arrogance is humility…are we humble enough to listen to counsel so we don’t end up fooling ourselves and causing unnecessary pain and difficulty?

Our last proverb extols the positive of listening to correction:

Proverbs 15:32
Anyone who ignores discipline despises himself,
but whoever listens to correction acquires good sense.

In order to accept correction from someone else, we must have the humility to hear it.  It doesn’t matter how high up the correcting authority is, if we do not humbly approach the course of our lives then we’re going to end up arrogant and obstinate.  Even if the advice comes from an unexpected or less-than-perfect source, we need to have the humility to evaluate their counsel before we disregard the correction based upon the person who gives it. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken