I was warned: Don’t go there

We don’t have a fenced in yard, so we walk our dog around our neighborhood twice a day.  Sometimes our walks will take us into the development next to ours.  Not too long ago, as the dog and I were heading down a familiar street in that other development, we spotted someone walking towards us on the opposite side of the road.  He was walking quickly, and I saw that he had a small tube holstered to his belt.

As we got closer, I recognized him as a neighbor from our development.  We’ve exchanged “hellos” a time or two, but I don’t really know him beyond that.  However, as we passed he stopped us and said something I wasn’t expecting to hear:

“Are you planning on walking down the next street?  I’ve been stopping and telling people the last few weeks…because 3 weeks ago I was walking down there and there’s a house that has a vicious boxer out roaming around.  He bit me, and I don’t want anyone else to get hurt.  I hate that they don’t put him on a leash or try to contain him.”

I told him that we don’t normally walk down that way, but I appreciated the warning.  I then realized why he had pepper spray holstered to his side.  Our dog isn’t aggressive by nature, and I wasn’t sure how he would handle a large dog charging at us with teeth bared.  Even if he stood his ground, I wasn’t looking forward to pulling the two of them apart and then looking for a way to safely exit the situation.  Although it’s been a couple of years since we walked down the road he mentioned, I now have no desire to go that way at all.  It’s best to avoid that situation altogether.

His warning reminded me of another warning, one that King Solomon gave to his sons about the influence of the paths we choose.  To help his sons remember his warning, Solomon told them this story:

Proverbs 7:6-23
At the window of my house I looked through my lattice.
I saw among the inexperienced, I noticed among the youths, a young man lacking sense.
Crossing the street near her corner, he strolled down the road to her house at twilight,
in the evening, in the dark of the night.

A woman came to meet him dressed like a prostitute, having a hidden agenda.
She is loud and defiant; her feet do not stay at home.
Now in the street, now in the squares, she lurks at every corner.
She grabs him and kisses him; she brazenly says to him,

“I’ve made fellowship offerings; today I’ve fulfilled my vows.
So I came out to meet you, to search for you, and I’ve found you.
I’ve spread coverings on my bed – richly colored linen from Egypt.
I’ve perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
Come, let’s drink deeply of lovemaking until morning.  Let’s feast on each other’s love!
My husband isn’t home; he went on a long journey.
He took a bag of silver with him and will come home at the time of the full moon.”

She seduces him with her persistent pleading; she lures with her flattering talk.
He follows her impulsively like an ox going to the slaughter,
like a deer bounding toward a trap until an arrow pierces its liver,
like a bird darting into a snare – he doesn’t know it will cost him his life.

Solomon followed his story with this warning:

Proverbs 7:24-25
Now, sons, listen to me, and pay attention to the words from my mouth.
Don’t let your heart turn aside to her ways; don’t stray onto her paths.

The young man’s downfall began…because of the path he chose.  His actions weren’t accidental.  He specifically crossed the street near her corner before strolling down the road to her house.  He even knew the best time of day to just “be in the neighborhood”.  Solomon’s warning is clear: Don’t stray onto her paths!

Solomon’s advice is just as practical today as it was for his sons.  Recent workplace statistics, presented by Forbes, found that 40% of workplace romances involve cheating on an existing partner and 50% of respondents admitted to flirting with their coworkers.  We must recognize the paths we walk and the repercussions of the choices we make.  Actively safeguard your marriage.  Don’t respond to so-called “innocent” flirtatious advances and don’t give off any signals of your own.  Do not seek a listening ear from your opposite-gender colleagues when you’re at odds with your partner.  Many workplace romances begin due to comfortability and familiarity…but if you’re already taken, you need to be wary of becoming “too comfortable” or “too familiar” with the people you spend large portions of your day with. 

The consequences of this path are going to be deadly – to you, your relationships, your integrity, your reputation, your career, and your future. 

I’m warning you – Don’t go there.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: dangerous infidelity

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that we’ve all been directly or indirectly impacted by: infidelity.

When God gave Moses the 10 Commandments, the 7th stated “Thou shalt not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14) – or, as the KBC version (i.e. – according to me) states: Don’t screw around on your spouse, and if you’re single, that includes your future spouse. 

For many years, I’ve held the following position: If the entire world, regardless of their standing before God, could just follow the 7th commandment…then half the world’s problems would go away, and the other half would be significantly easier to deal with.

That’s how impactful infidelity has been to our world.  And, not surprisingly, when Solomon wanted to write down wisdom for his son, he talked many times on this subject.  We’re going to look at two of those times.  However, before we get into Solomon’s warnings, let’s start with one of his positive declarations:

Proverbs 18:22
A man who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord.

God designed marriage as a good thing, a special relationship where a man and a woman can connect and grow.  Here in this proverb, Solomon reveals a great promise – that also within this unique relationship, we can obtain favor from the Lord.  The Lord’s favor, blessing, or protection on our physical lives is not a guarantee.  In fact, in Scripture we see that God’s favor, blessing, or protection are often conditional upon how we are living our lives.  Whenever we come across a promise of how to obtain favor, we would do well to pay attention.

That said, Solomon’s son does need to be warned about the dangers of breaking his marriage covenant:

Proverbs 22:14
The mouth of the forbidden woman is a deep pit;
a man cursed by the Lord will fall into it.

Flirtatious words, ego-raising compliments, and promises of desire all sound good, but Solomon’s son needs to know that when these words come from a woman who is not his wife, he is in danger of falling into a deep pit.  In Jewish thinking, you are either blessed or cursed by God; and, as we stated earlier, these two options are often dependent upon a person’s life choices (e.g. – Deuteronomy 28).  If Solomon’s son isn’t walking with the Lord, he will be more susceptible to falling into this trap of the forbidden woman.

A second warning Solomon gives his son is also beneficial for us to review:

Proverbs 23:26-28
My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways.
For the prostitute is a deep pit, and a wayward woman is a narrow well;
indeed, she sets an ambush like a robber
and increases the number of unfaithful people.

A number of years ago – in the pre-smart phone days – I was traveling by myself to visit family in Nevada.  I was reading a book while waiting for my flight to Las Vegas, when two women sat down directly behind me and started a loud conversation.  Although my back was to them, given the tone of their voices and the phrases they used, I guessed they were both in their early to mid-twenties.  One of them had never been to Las Vegas, and the other had been there many times.  The more experienced one began coaching up her friend about all the ways to get guys to buy them drinks, take them out to eat, and get into exclusive parties.  She explained how to dress sexy, which ways to flirt, and how to toy with a guy’s affections throughout the night in order to exploit him for as much as she could.  Her friend was shocked that it would be “so easy”, but the experienced woman assured her that she was about to have a fun weekend with everything she wanted essentially paid for by other men.

After a little while, I grabbed my bag to go get some food.  As I walked back to my terminal and to the seat I was in before, I was able to see both women for the first time.  I had guessed correctly at their ages, and they were very attractive, especially the one who had been to Las Vegas before.  Based on their looks and their discussed tactics, I knew their plans would succeed.  They were about to manipulate their way into just about anything they wanted.

Solomon warned his son that these type of women were a trap, just like a deep pit or a narrow well.  They were setting an ambush like a robber, and they were about to fleece any man who would take the bait. 

As a father of two young men, this is a bit scary to think about…that they could become trapped and exploited by a woman that has zero interest in them or their well-being.  Warning them is a good place to start, but Solomon also showed how to provide maximum support to his son.  He gave himself as the example:

Proverbs 23:26
My son, give me your heart, and let your eyes observe my ways.

To paraphrase what we’ve read so far: If your ears are full of the forbidden woman’s words and your eyes are blinded by her beauty, look to me as your example and I’ll set you right.

A mentor can be a lifeline when a man is walking toward or even caught in a trap.  Us guys need to be a resource for each other in order to keep our minds focused and our marriages pure. 

On the one hand, this is great advice from Solomon.  On the other hand, we must acknowledge that this advice is coming from someone who had 700 wives who were princesses and 300 concubines, and Scripture says they turned Solomon’s heart away from God (1 Kings 11:3).  However, no matter how you look at it, Solomon is still an example to his son.  His words, if followed, tell how to obtain favor from the Lord, whereas observing his life shows us the dangers of what happens when we make the unwise choice.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Solomon's biggest warning

After telling his son that the most important thing for him to do is to guard his heart, Solomon gives his son the longest warning on any one topic in the book of Proverbs.  For almost three entire chapters, Solomon warns his son about the dangers of breaking the seventh commandment God gave to Moses.

Proverbs 5:1-8
My son, pay attention to my wisdom; listen closely to my understanding
so that you may maintain discretion and your lips safeguard knowledge.

Though the lips of the forbidden woman drip honey and her words are smoother than oil,
in the end she’s as bitter as wormwood and as sharp as a double-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death; her steps head straight for Sheol.
She doesn’t consider the path of life; she doesn’t know that her ways are unstable.

So now, my sons, listen to me, and don’t turn away from the words of my mouth.
Keep your way far from her.  Don’t go near the door of her house.

The words from the lips of the forbidden woman are seductively enticing – and deadly dangerous.  The young man has a choice – whose words will he listen to?  The smooth words of forbidden woman or the wisdom of Solomon?

Solomon gives the best defense against the siren’s song – don’t go near the door of her house.

If she is purposely avoided, then her smooth words cannot ensnare him.  However, if he foolishly gives in to this temptation, Solomon warns that it will cost him severely:

Proverbs 5:9-14
Otherwise, you will give up your vitality to others and your years to someone cruel;
strangers will drain your resources, and your earnings will end up in a foreigner’s house.
At the end of your life, you will lament when your physical body has been consumed,
and you will say,

“How I hated discipline, and how my heart despised correction.
I didn’t obey my teachers or listen closely to my mentors.
I was on the verge of complete ruin before he entire community.”

If he gives in to her temptations, the young man will not be able to undo the path his life will go down.  Any profit will go to another, and he will only be left with regret.  The destruction to himself, his family, and his community cannot be undone.

We see this play out today as well.  Sexual sin is one of the greatest destructive forces in today’s society.  “Sex sells” is what we’re told, and the numbers don’t lie – advertisers prey upon our inability to control our sexual appetite.  The world’s system is set up to ensnare both men and women.

If we consider its ultimate cost, what that moment of pleasure will take from us in this life and in the next, we can see why Solomon spends the next two chapters continuing his warning.

Proverbs 5:20-23
Why, my son, would you be infatuated with a forbidden woman
or embrace the breast of a stranger?
For a man’s ways are before the Lord’s eyes,
and He considers all his paths.

A wicked man’s iniquities entrap him;
he is entangled in the ropes of his own sin.
He will die because there is no instruction,
and be lost because of his great stupidity.

Sexual sin is a great stupidity.  It cannot be simply managed or contained.  The only safe way to deal with it is to take Solomon’s advice and don’t go near the temptation.  Avoid it, because you don’t want to pay everything it will ultimately cost you.

Keep Pressing,
Ken