Einstein, AA, and my sour mood

I was in a real sour mood last Tuesday night.  I wasn’t happy about anything.  I was tired of everything.  The thought of anything that I had typically taken enjoyment from…honestly sounded stupid and/or disgusting.  I even became mad at myself for feeling this way – because I knew (even if I didn’t want to admit it) that I had no good reason to be like this.

Nothing had necessarily “gone wrong” throughout the day, either.  Work was just normal stuff.  I hadn’t been in an argument with my wife or anyone else.  But the longer the evening went on, the darker my attitude went.  The bugger was that I had planned on writing a blog post that evening…and I was definitely not in the proper headspace to do that!  So, I did what most of us would do in this situation: I retreated to scrolling on my phone.

An hour later, I wasn’t feeling any better, and I was now cranky about being on my phone.  And then, it hit me.  I realized what was a big contributor to my mental bleakness.  I wasn’t fond of the conclusion, either, because it came with the recognition that my sour mood wasn’t really a one-off.  I’d been on this path on other recent nights, just that this night was the most sour I had felt lately.

The problem was the amount of time I was spending on my phone.  There’s a lot in the world to try and “keep up with”, but it’s impossible to do so.  There’s the normal rounds of news, social media, and sports, but there’s also a recent natural disaster in my state of North Carolina.  My family and I are fine, but starting about 1.5 hours west of us, “catastrophic” doesn’t even begin to describe what Hurricane Helene has caused.

So yeah, I’ve been on my phone a lot.  Scrolling, watching, listening…lather, rinse, repeat.  The problem is that all the things we use our phones for (especially social media) causes dopamine hit, after hit, after hit.  Once your brain gets used to it, all it wants is more.  Being overstimulated with dopamine can lead to addictive behaviors as the brain seeks to maintain that dopamine high…and over time, this can result in a decreased interest in other activities, including ones that were previously enjoyable.  There are tons of studies that prove out what I’ve described.

So, being in a sour mood and then hiding in my phone was actually the worst thing I could have done at that moment.  Kinda like putting a drunk alcoholic in a bar and telling him to sober up while he’s there.

While often attributed to Albert Einstein, the following quote actually first popped on the scene in the early 1980s within addiction recovery circles, specifically Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous:

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

I knew that if I wanted to change my output (my sour evening mood), then I gotta change my input.  I can’t expect to keep doing what I’m doing and think that somehow everything will get better on its own.

So, I put me and my sour mood to bed, with plans to make better choices on Wednesday.  Fortunately for me, my church had its monthly serving opportunity with Feeding Lisa’s Kids, a non-profit that provides food on a monthly basis to food-insecure families in the High Point area.  I really didn’t want to go, but made myself anyway.  I purposely chose the music I listened to on the way there and back – David Crowder.  I kept my phone out of reach during work and kept its use to a minimum in the evening.  What I was trying to do was follow the advice Paul gave to the believers in Colossae:

Colossians 3:2
Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things.

Gotta remove the clutter to focus on the most important things.  The dopamine-driven noise isn’t going to help me see clearly.  I’ve already experienced the cloudy-minded sour mood it leaves me with.  Wednesday has been better, mentally – but it’s not like you can fix a dopamine addiction in one day, either.  This will require repeated choices over many days to build habits that don’t drive me down that path.

I’m also going to follow a piece of advice my mentor Joe gave me years ago, which I’ll pass on to you:

Let God’s Word be the first thing you read in the morning and the last thing you read before you go to sleep.

Before any other inputs in the morning – the news headlines, your email, social media, etc. – allow God to speak into your day.  And then, just before you slip into bed, go to God’s Word and read a chapter from the New Testament.  Give your mind something godly to ponder while you sleep.

I’ve followed this advice (imperfectly) for a long while, but going forward, I will make the choices to do it daily and change my inputs.  I know my struggle isn’t unique to me, there are too many studies and too much data proving that we’re all in various stages of dopamine addiction.  But if you want out of it, you gotta change your inputs.

So set your mind on things above, not on earthly things.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Our Best Life, Step 2: Direction

Previously (link), we found this working definition of a person’s “Best Life”:

              A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

We also discovered that God has given us a clearly defined path to a life that meets this description.  King Solomon addressed this in the proverbs he wrote for his sons.  These wisdom sayings would lead his children to the “Best Life” they desired, but only if the steps were applied:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

King Solomon’s Best Life teaching involves both Do’s and Don’ts…sometimes within the same teaching, in order to provide contrast.  His first step involved our reputation (link).  His second step looks at how we can make sure our lives are heading in the right direction.

Before we look at the next two verses, we need to remind ourselves of a trap that’s easy to fall into whenever we study God’s Word.  When we read something that is familiar, our immediate tendency is to think, “Oh yeah, that.  I already know this one.”  When this attitude slips in, we block ourselves from learning anything new or we stop ourselves from discovering new ways to apply familiar truths.  So, we need to check ourselves and ask:

Am I ready to hear a word from God and think about the ways it can be applied in my life?

If the answer is “No”, then I appreciate your honesty…but you need to talk your attitude over with God before reading on.  The rest of this blog will mean nothing if you’re stuck in the I-already-know-this-stuff mindset.

If the answer is “Yes”, and you’re open to hearing Step 2 of Solomon’s Best Life teaching, then read these verses, looking for how God says He’ll provide direction in our lives:

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding;
in all your ways know Him, and He will make your paths straight.

This was the first verse my mom had me memorize when I was a kid…and yet, it is exactly what I need to hear and apply in my life right now.  It would be easy to blow by these verses, but the promise at the end of verse six is what grabs my attention: He will make your paths straight. 

The Hebrew word for straight means to be made level, to be laid smoothly out.  With all the chaos and uncertainty in this world, how comforting would it be if your path forward was laid out straight and level before you?  How big of an advantage would you have if you knew, 100%, without-a-doubt that you were on the path that God wanted you to be on? 

Maybe that’s why we struggle with direction for our lives…we’re not fully trusting God with what He’ll say is our life’s direction.  The verse is pretty specific, there’s no wiggle room here: in all your ways know Him.  Not some of your ways.  Not most of your ways.  Not every way except this one hard part of my life.  We are to invite God into all our ways.

What parts of our lives are we keeping to ourselves?  Why do we do that?  Because we’re embarrassed?  Because we think God is too busy?  Or that the impact of our life is “too small” of a matter?

I think we forget that the first descriptive name the prophet Isaiah foretold for Jesus was Wonderful Counselor (Isaiah 9:6).  Do we approach God regularly for His counsel, in all areas of our lives…or do we call out to Him only for the crisis at the moment? 

That’s a tough question, but let’s make it practical: Get specific about the parts of your life you haven’t invited Him in to yet.  Let’s think about this: He’s the expert in all careers.  He’s the one who invented marriage and parenting.  That hobby you enjoy is one He loves, too.  Like working with dogs?  He created them.  Is outer space intriguing to you?  He knows what’s out there.  Have a struggle you can’t solve on your own?  He’s ready to go through it with you.

Know Him in all your ways means you need to know Him in ALL your ways.

Invite Him in.  Ask for His guidance.  Trust Him to give good counsel.  And then walk the straight, level path in the direction He sends you.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: she is the example

This week, we’re wrapping up a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  We’ve seen that although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this series’ last blog post, we’ll look at how the book of Proverbs closes with an example of everything we’ve learned over the last nine weeks.

Interestingly, Proverbs 31 states that the chapter was written by “King Lemuel” and that this wisdom was given to him by his mother…but nothing else is known about either of these two people.  Some commentators theorize that King Lemuel was actually King Solomon, or possibly King Hezekiah, or even a fictional character made up by Solomon to demonstrate an ideal relationship between a king and his mother.

As we read through this descriptive example of a remarkable woman, look for the characteristics we’ve learned about from King Solomon:

Proverbs 31:10-31
Who can find a wife of noble character?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will not lack anything good.
She rewards him with good, not evil, all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax and works with willing hands.
She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from far away.
She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household
and portions for her female servants.

She evaluates a field and buys it;
she plants a vineyard wit her earnings.
She draws on her strength and reveals that her arms are strong.
She sees that her profits are good, and her lamp never goes out at night.

She extends her hands to the spinning staff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
Her hands reach out to the poor,
and she extends her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid for her household when it snows,
for all in her household are doubly clothed.
She makes her own bed coverings;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known at the city gates,
where he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes and sells linen garments;
she delivers belts to the merchants.
Strength and honor are her clothing,
and she can laugh at the time to come.

Her mouth speaks wisdom,
and loving instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also praises her:
“Many women have done noble deeds, but you surpass them all!”

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.
Give her the reward of her labor,
and let her works praise her at the city gates.

That is an impressive description.  Here are the ways she addresses seven our proverbial life topics:

·       Truly generous: her hands reach out to the poor

·       Being intentional: she selects wool and flax…she rises while it is still night and provides…she watches over her household and is never idle

·       Dangerous infidelity: the heart of her husband trusts in her…charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised

·       Money struggles: she evaluates a field and buys it…she sees that her profits are good…she makes and sells…give her the reward of her labor

·       Societal obligations: she extends her hands to the needy…her husband is known at the city gates…let her works praise her at the city gates

·       Watch your mouth: her mouth speaks wisdom and loving instruction is on her tongue

·       Contagious attitudes: she draws on her strength and reveals that her arms are strong…she is not afraid for her household…strength and honor are her clothing

The remaining two topics we explored – “accepting correction” and “you need a friend” – do not have explicit examples in the author’s description.  While we do not want to force seeing them into the passage, I would contend that she couldn’t have become such a great example without friends and accepting correction along her path.

Now that we’ve read about and identified the qualities for the wife of noble character, remember that the book of Proverbs began with Solomon telling allegory stories of Wisdom being personified as a woman.  Finishing the book about wisdom-living with an exalted woman example creates an intriguing bookend to the entire collection of proverbs.

Whenever we come back to the book of Proverbs, we would be wise to take Solomon’s advice.  And if we want a tangible example of how these proverbs flesh out in the real world, all we need to do is read about the women at the beginning and at the end of the book.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: our contagious attitude

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that is easy for us to overlook: the impact of our attitude.

How quickly does someone else’s sour attitude twist your mindset and darken your thoughts?
How much better do you feel after talking with someone who genuinely smiles at you?
How short is your fuse when another person is unapologetically selfish in public?
Do anxious people make you feel anxious?
Can you think of someone who can change the mood of a room, for better or worse, just by walking in?

Unless we are on our guard and self-aware, we can be easily influenced by the attitudes we are exposed to.  Most of the time, the attitude shift comes from people we are in close proximity to, but we must also acknowledge that videos and clips of other people can also influence our mindset.

While we can look back and recognize times when another person’s attitude has had a profound effect on us…I think we tend to understate the impact our own attitude has on others.

Multiple times, Solomon addressed the contagiousness of an attitude from one person to the next.  When we read these proverbs, one side or the other will likely resonate.  However, the real skill in thinking through these wisdom sayings is thinking about yourself on both sides of the equation:

Proverbs 12:25
Anxiety in a person’s heart weighs it down,
but a good word cheers it up.

Are you someone who struggles with anxiety?  Do your cares weigh your heart down?  Are your fears (founded or unfounded) heavy on your mind?  If so, how much does a good word from a friend mean to you?  Admittedly, a simple check-in or conversation doesn’t cure your struggles…but empathy and compassion go a long way toward cheering your heart up.

But let’s flip this around…maybe you’re not anxious right now.  When you see someone who’s struggling (or attempting to mask the struggle), an intentional good word from you can literally be a life-saver.  However, it can be hard to know what to do when trying to help an anxious person…fortunately, Solomon gives us some guidance there, too:

Proverbs 15:30
Bright eyes cheer the heart;
good news strengthens the bones.

There are two ways to spread an attitude – through our facial expressions and our words.  Facial expressions can be tough to read because sometimes our faces betray us and don’t reveal where our minds are at.  As an example, I’ll admit to having “resting bothered face”.  I’ve been accused of being “too serious” or “too intense”, when I’m mentally at an even keel.  If you can relate, then we both should continue to work on our expressions when we interact with other people.  Bright eyes and a smile when we greet others will go a long way to communicating cheer and care, rather than them thinking we’re upset when we are not.

According to Solomon, the second way to spread a good attitude is to bring good news to others.  When someone asks how we are, do we lead with a depressing “Same stuff, different day” quip, or do we focus on sharing the good in our lives?

To further his point, Solomon offers this contrast:

Proverbs 17:22
A joyful heart is good medicine,
but a broken spirit dries up the bones.

There is nothing inherently wrong when we experience a broken spirit.  Many good things can come out of the hardest of hard situations in our lives.  However, prolonged living in such a state leaves us feeling like the life has been sucked out of us, or as Solomon aptly describes, feeling like dried up bones.  In those times we need someone to share their joyful heart with us, because their contagious attitude is good medicine.

Collectively, these proverbs leave us with a responsibility – and Solomon gives a stark warning about how much our words matter:

Proverbs 18:21
Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.

We remember words spoken to us.  You know which ones I’m talking about.  Words you’ll never forget.  They left a life-long impression on you, whether they were life-giving or life-taking.  So don’t discount the power of your words to influence another person’s life.  There is great power in the tongue, and our words and attitudes have the ability to out-live us.

The point of these proverbs is this: You are contagious.  Your mood, your tone, your body language...are all contagious.  What do you want others to catch from you?

I'm not telling you to fake anything or manipulate anybody.  But the attitude you choose will be reflected back to you and carried on by them...so...what attitude will you choose to share with other people?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I'm not that grateful

Growing up in the church, I can remember hearing the phrase “Count your blessings” numerous times.  There was even a song in the hymnal with the same title that the congregation would occasionally sing.  The chorus lyrics were “Count your blessings, name them one by one.  Count your blessings see what God has done.”

Throughout the years, I’ve heard various sermons on the importance of having an “Attitude of Gratitude”.  At least, I remember hearing the catchy little phrase in more than a handful of talks.  As texting and social media has grown from a novelty into an integrated part of our lives, we’ve shortened the phrase “Praise the Lord” to just “PTL” and we now add a “#Blessed” to our posts.

At any point along the way, if you had asked me if I was thankful or grateful, I would have likely responded with, “Of course I am!  Have you seen my family, my house, or my job?  They’re all good – nothing’s perfect mind you, but it’s better than how I grew up and it’s probably better than I deserve.”

But as for my day-to-day living and thought process?  I’m focused solely on getting the next task done.  Gotta get ready for work.  Gotta eat.  Gotta get the kids ready.  Gotta work.  Gotta run errands.  Gotta deal with people.  Gotta walk the dog.  Gotta do…Gotta do…Gotta do…

Managing the steps to getting stuff done takes up a different section of my headspace than when I am thinking about being grateful.  If you’re like me, I have to intentionally think about being grateful…and I’ve come to the realization that I haven’t spent much time there.  Sure, I’m surfacely aware that I have had many blessings in my life, but do I intentionally practice gratitude as a habit?  No, I don’t.

A simple online search of “science and gratitude” reveals a ton of research in this area.  Overwhelmingly, the results point to an improved life for those who actively engage in gratitude activities – gratitude letter writing (whether sent or not), gratitude journaling, thankful prayer, etc.  The improvements observed in all studies almost reads like a “too-good-to-be-true” list: better sleep, less anxiety and depression, better recovery from traumatic events, more positive high-energy moods, decreased risk of drug or alcohol abuse, decreased risk of bulimia, lessening materialism and increasing in generosity, lower stress hormones and inflammatory biomarkers. 

That’s just a handful of the benefits found across all age groups: children, teens, young adults, middle-aged, senior citizens.  It honestly doesn’t matter where you are in life, what has happened to you, or how good/bad your circumstances are currently – the science repeatedly shows that intentionally chosen, routine expression of gratitude has a massive, lasting impact on our lives. 

When we look at Scripture, we find that gratefulness and thankfulness are everywhere.  Depending on your translation, the words “thank”, “thankful”, “thanks”, or “grateful” show up about 150 times.  However, further inspection shows that gratefulness is found in more than just spotting the words.  Think about the yearly feasts and celebrations God prescribed to the Israelites – they were set up to produce annual rhythms of thankfulness and remembrance of how good God had been to the nation of Israel.

In just one example of gratitude from the New Testament, Paul tells the believers in Thessalonica:

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in everything; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Ever wonder what God’s will is for your life?  Apparently, it is to rejoice, pray, and give thanks.  Regardless of circumstances, moods, or the amount of pain we’re dealing with.

I’m also reminded of the first verses my mom had me memorize (from the NIV84 translation):

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

If we acknowledge Him, which would naturally include expressing gratitude, then God will illuminate our next steps in life. 

It’s times like these that I think our modern-day science is simply catching up with what God has asked us to do – what He has wired us to do – all along.  Expressing gratitude to God shifts the focus off of us and our situation.  It causes us to become more God-focused instead of spinning our wheels in Me-ville. 

In the days after (finally) discovering this principle, I have asked my wife “What 5 things are you grateful for today?”  And you know what?  Each time I have asked, that has been the start of the best conversation of my day.  When we share what we’re grateful for, we’re revealing what we are thinking about, and saying it out loud helps to both frame and affirm how blessed we are.

I intend to ask my wife this question every day, because I think it’ll be a good way for us to connect, communicate, and get all the benefits that science has discovered…and especially the ones that God promises as well.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - Is it wrong to be rich?

The amount of money other people have compared to us is always a hot topic, something that can preoccupy our minds and cloud our thinking. What does God have to say to those who have wealth now?

Is it wrong to be rich?

Originally posted on March 30, 2017

Over the last several years, we’ve heard a lot about “the greedy rich” and “the 1%ers” who have the biggest salaries and have seemingly “unfair” amounts of wealth.  These phrases are thrown around in the business world, in political speeches, and on news broadcasts…with the inference that it is wrong for someone to be at that income level.

In America, if you’re going to be part of the top 1% in annual salary, then you’d have to bring in over $434,000 every year.  To be in the top 10% of American wage earners, your salary would be over $133,000 every year.  Maybe you don’t fit into either category, and you don’t think of yourself as “rich”.  That’s for someone else, right?  Someone who can spend as much as they want whenever they want and not worry about it. 

But the issue we’re subconsciously wrestling with whenever a “1%er” statement comes up is…Is it ‘wrong’ to be rich? 

Ever wonder what God says about being rich?  Is it a sin to make a lot of money?  Is it sinful to have large amounts of money in the bank?  

Before we get to Paul’s instructions to Timothy about Christians who have a lot of wealth, we need to clear something up.  If we stop comparing our income to others in our town and instead look at the rest of the world, if we make more than $32,400 in a year (or $15.59/hour)…we’re in the top 1% globally.  Also, “rich” in the ancient world meant that you had a house to call your own and extra disposable income to spend on lavish, unnecessary fun items.  With our smart phones, cable TV, and cars, in addition to our air conditioning, clean water, and indoor plumbing…I think we do qualify as “rich”.

So, what does God think about us having so much? 

1 Timothy 6:17-19
Instruct those who are rich in the present age not to be arrogant or to set their hope on the uncertainty of wealth, but on God, who richly provides us with all things to enjoy.  Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous, willing to share, storing up for themselves a good foundation for the age to come, so that they may take hold of life that is real.

So, it’s not a sin to have money.  It’s not a sin to have things or take pleasure in them.  After all, God richly provides us with all things to enjoy.  So, we shouldn’t feel guilty about going to the movies, or having an iPhone, or being able to afford a vacation.  

From this text, we see that God’s more concerned with our attitude about our riches.  If our wealth was suddenly gone, would we still sing about how good God is?  If our future is uncertain, do we console ourselves with the amount in our bank account, or with the knowledge that God provided that money in our bank account to protect against emergencies?

Is our hope and security based on money or the One who gave us the money?  That can be easy for us rich 1%ers to forget.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Not my best joke

Ever think of something as a joke, but then realize later that it’s no laughing matter?

Much of my early career was spent working in a pharmaceutical laboratory, performing tests on tablets and capsules to demonstrate that the medicine we produced was acceptable for people to use.  Given the nature of the work and especially the chemicals we used, the normal lab attire was t-shirt, jeans, leather-topped shoes, lab coat, and safety-glasses.  There was no reason to wear “professional” clothes, because the laboratory environment made it too easy to ruin them.

Eventually, I took a desk job within the department, working on investigations for any unexpected testing result generated.  While I still interacted with the other chemists, I was no longer the one performing the tests.  I also attended various meetings with management from other departments.  As you can imagine, the t-shirt and jeans attire was no longer acceptable.  Instead, business casual became the norm – dress shirt, slacks, and dress shoes.

I enjoyed the position, and I was good at my job.  But like all working environments, it wasn’t perfect.  There were inconsistent expectations about when a shift started and when a shift ended.  This would often lead to animosity between management and those who reported to them.  The need to release product to customers was unending, so there was a constant pressure on the department to make sure we were doing our best to fill the orders.  We would frequently make jokes about us “slaving away” for the company or being “chained” to our desks.  But we were just dealing with normal work-stuff, really.

One morning, while I was getting ready to head into the office, I picked up my dress shoes and quipped, “Well, time to put on the shackles”.  I chuckled at my own joke as I put my shoes on.  Thinking nothing of it, I went about my day.  The next day, I made the same joke and laughed to myself again.  This went on for a few days.  One day, after getting home from work, I equated taking my dress shoes off with “taking off my shackles” – therefore being able to relax and do as I please.

This internal joke routine continued on until a few weeks later, I realized that my attitude toward my shoes and my job had taken a dramatic downward turn.  I resented having to put my shoes on and go do my job, and taking off my shoes had become the part of my day I looked forward to the most.  Thinking about this, it dawned on me just how influential a little grumbling – even a joking grumble – had become.

The apostle Paul warned the believers in Philippi about such thinking:

Philippians 2:14-16
Do everything without grumbling and arguing, so that you may be blameless and pure, children of God who are faultless in a crooked and perverted generation, among whom you shine like stars in the world, by holding firm to the word of life.

If we allow grumbling and arguing to seep into our mindset, we lose access to everything God has in store for us as one of His children.  God wants us to be without fault or blame.  He wants us to shine and stand out as one of His kids in the world. 

But there is no family resemblance when we grumble or complain.  Honestly, we look more like the rest of the world when we do that.

There’s a lot of talk these days about “being your authentic self” or “getting your shine on”.  And there’s nothing wrong with that, provided you know what your authentic self is like and how you’re supposed to shine.  We’ll be able to do so when we stop with the grumbling jokes and hold firm to the word of life.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Face paint and finding the good

I find it so easy to find something to be upset about.  Especially by the end of each day, when the hard stuff is still heavy in my mind.  It would be easy to blame my sour attitude on the constant barrage of negativity coming from our politicians, or social media, or the 24-hour bad-news cycle.  While yesterday it could have been the advertisements that made me feel like I don’t provide well enough for my family, today’s irritation could have easily come from a coworker, and tomorrow’s could be another driver on my way to the grocery store.

Getting upset is easy.  Thinking about why I get upset is hard, for two reasons…first, because I have to be honest with myself, and second (because of the first) I usually realize that whatever it is that made me upset was often just a small part of my day.  Let me give you an example:

Many of you know that my wife runs her own business.  She’s a ridiculously talented face painter, and you’ll find her at festivals, fairs, and birthday parties.  She handles most events on her own, but for the occasional large festival, I will work as her line manager.  My job is to engage the customers, help them choose a design, handle the money, and make sure the line moves in an orderly fashion.  All my work is to make sure my wife can focus on being the artist and not worry about anything other than creating fun and delight for both kids and adults.

As you can imagine, we meet a wide-variety of people during these events.  Some are more friendly than others.  Some are so excited they can hardly contain themselves.  Some are just hot and tired.  Some parents are more excited about having their child painted than their child is about getting painted.  There’s always some parent who doesn’t like the prices and wants to “negotiate”.  All different backgrounds, races, economic status…so you never know how an interaction is going to go. 

Most interactions are positive.  Kids love getting their face painted and parents feed off of the kids’ excitement.  When I was helping my wife a couple weekends ago, we had a great time, a steady line, and many happy customers.  However, at the end of the event, two interactions continued to spin in my mind.  The first was a dad who wanted to negotiate on a take home item that we sell, but when I wouldn’t lower the price to the level he wanted, he resorted to insults and left.  The second person came up after we had closed down.  When I informed him that we had finished for the night…he left in a huff, griping that all he was trying to do was read one of our menu boards. 

I stewed over these two guys for quite a while, even into the next day.  Their selfish attitudes really bothered me, since they acted as if we were trying to take advantage of them.  The longer I churned over their lousy behavior, the more my attitude darkened and my thoughts were of nothing else.  I did nothing wrong, but was insulted.  I was certain that they would complain about their interaction with us.  I became more and more irritated thinking about how their grousing to others would look bad on my wife’s business.

And then, I remembered…that we had served over 150 people at that festival.  Everyone but those two were ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED with how their session turned out.  We even had a little girl who loved her art so much that she brought her dad back to get painted and then later still, she brought her friend to get painted, too.  We had others stop back by just to say “hi” and show us how well the paint was lasting on such a hot day.  We had a quartet of elderly ladies each get a glitter tattoo – they were an absolute hoot to interact with!  To top it all off, the fair was also her most successful event in terms of gross profits. 

When I realized how wrong it was that I was focusing entirely on those two bad interactions, this verse immediately came to mind:

Philippians 4:8
Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable – if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy – dwell on these things.

The Apostle Paul wanted the believers in Philippi to be careful with what their thoughts were dwelling on.  The truth is…whatever we spend time thinking about will inevitably grow in our life.  If I continued to stew over the behavior of these two dads, then I would have allowed those irritations and frustrations to grow into something much more unhealthy – likely something that would impact those around me (but not the guys who aggravated me). 

When I stepped back and focused on all the good things that came from our efforts, the irritation quickly evaporated.  It was a good event.  There were many lovely and praiseworthy moments.  I’ll choose to dwell on those instead.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Is it wrong to be rich?

Over the last several years, we’ve heard a lot about “the greedy rich” and “the 1%ers” who have the biggest salaries and have seemingly “unfair” amounts of wealth.  These phrases are thrown around in the business world, in political speeches, and on news broadcasts…with the inference that it is wrong for someone to be at that income level.

In America, if you’re going to be part of the top 1% in annual salary, then you’d have to bring in over $434,000 every year.  To be in the top 10% of American wage earners, your salary would be over $133,000 every year.  Maybe you don’t fit into either category, and you don’t think of yourself as “rich”.  That’s for someone else, right?  Someone who can spend as much as they want whenever they want and not worry about it. 

But the issue we’re subconsciously wrestling with whenever a “1%er” statement comes up is…Is it ‘wrong’ to be rich? 

Ever wonder what God says about being rich?  Is it a sin to make a lot of money?  Is it sinful to have large amounts of money in the bank?  

Before we get to Paul’s instructions to Timothy about Christians who have a lot of wealth, we need to clear something up.  If we stop comparing our income to others in our town and instead look at the rest of the world, if we make more than $32,400 in a year (or $15.59/hour)…we’re in the top 1% globally.  Also, “rich” in the ancient world meant that you had a house to call your own and extra disposable income to spend on lavish, unnecessary fun items.  With our smart phones, cable TV, and cars, in addition to our air conditioning, clean water, and indoor plumbing…I think we do qualify as “rich”.

So, what does God think about us having so much? 

1 Timothy 6:17-19
Instruct those who are rich in the present age not to be arrogant or to set their hope on the uncertainty of wealth, but on God, who richly provides us with all things to enjoy.  Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous, willing to share, storing up for themselves a good foundation for the age to come, so that they may take hold of life that is real.

So, it’s not a sin to have money.  It’s not a sin to have things or take pleasure in them.  After all, God richly provides us with all things to enjoy.  So, we shouldn’t feel guilty about going to the movies, or having an iPhone, or being able to afford a vacation.  

From this text, we see that God’s more concerned with our attitude about our riches.  If our wealth was suddenly gone, would we still sing about how good God is?  If our future is uncertain, do we console ourselves with the amount in our bank account, or with the knowledge that God provided that money in our bank account to protect against emergencies?

Is our hope and security based on money or the One who gave us the money?  That can be easy for us rich 1%ers to forget.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

How to be an effective Christian

As Paul began his short letter to Philemon, he shared what he had been praying for his friend:

Philemon 5-6
I always thank my God when I mention you in my prayers, because I hear of your love and faith toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints.

I pray that your participation in the faith may become effective through knowing every good thing that is in us for the glory of Christ.

Lewis Sperry Chafer counted 33 benefits the believer receives at the moment they trust Jesus for eternal life.  A sampling of that list includes the following facts:

We are redeemed by God.
We are now related to God.
We are now acceptable to God.
Our sins are permanently paid for.
We are brought close to God.
We are delivered from the power of darkness.
We are part of a Holy and Royal priesthood.
We have a Heavenly citizenship.

These are incredible benefits, and Chafer’s entire list is just the starting point for our relationship with Christ.  From here, we launch into an eternal relationship with God where we grow and mature, becoming more and more like Christ.  On top of that, we even have the opportunity to earn eternal rewards for our participation with God in what He is doing here and now.

However, we will not be effective in our partnership with God and our maturity will be stunted if we think that any of our good qualities originate within us.  This is what Paul is praying about for Philemon. 

Just think about it…Philemon has a good reputation and hosts the local church meetings in his house.  Philemon has the money and property to have the local church meet in his house.  With blessings like these also comes the temptation to believe that he’s self-sustaining or that God should bless his efforts because he’s “so good”.  However, that shift in attitude also brings a dangerous shift in focus…he would begin to focus on himself rather than on his Savior.

How can Philemon effectively minister about Jesus if he’s busy looking at himself?

Paul prays that Philemon would protect himself and his ministry from being ineffective; yet it’s a trap that we can easily fall into as well.  The American Christian is quite rich, especially in comparison to our brothers and sisters in the rest of the world.  We need to watch that our affluence doesn’t influence our understanding of where our blessings come from.  As always, a Christ-focused mindset is the cure.

Keep Pressing,
Ken