I'm not that grateful

Growing up in the church, I can remember hearing the phrase “Count your blessings” numerous times.  There was even a song in the hymnal with the same title that the congregation would occasionally sing.  The chorus lyrics were “Count your blessings, name them one by one.  Count your blessings see what God has done.”

Throughout the years, I’ve heard various sermons on the importance of having an “Attitude of Gratitude”.  At least, I remember hearing the catchy little phrase in more than a handful of talks.  As texting and social media has grown from a novelty into an integrated part of our lives, we’ve shortened the phrase “Praise the Lord” to just “PTL” and we now add a “#Blessed” to our posts.

At any point along the way, if you had asked me if I was thankful or grateful, I would have likely responded with, “Of course I am!  Have you seen my family, my house, or my job?  They’re all good – nothing’s perfect mind you, but it’s better than how I grew up and it’s probably better than I deserve.”

But as for my day-to-day living and thought process?  I’m focused solely on getting the next task done.  Gotta get ready for work.  Gotta eat.  Gotta get the kids ready.  Gotta work.  Gotta run errands.  Gotta deal with people.  Gotta walk the dog.  Gotta do…Gotta do…Gotta do…

Managing the steps to getting stuff done takes up a different section of my headspace than when I am thinking about being grateful.  If you’re like me, I have to intentionally think about being grateful…and I’ve come to the realization that I haven’t spent much time there.  Sure, I’m surfacely aware that I have had many blessings in my life, but do I intentionally practice gratitude as a habit?  No, I don’t.

A simple online search of “science and gratitude” reveals a ton of research in this area.  Overwhelmingly, the results point to an improved life for those who actively engage in gratitude activities – gratitude letter writing (whether sent or not), gratitude journaling, thankful prayer, etc.  The improvements observed in all studies almost reads like a “too-good-to-be-true” list: better sleep, less anxiety and depression, better recovery from traumatic events, more positive high-energy moods, decreased risk of drug or alcohol abuse, decreased risk of bulimia, lessening materialism and increasing in generosity, lower stress hormones and inflammatory biomarkers. 

That’s just a handful of the benefits found across all age groups: children, teens, young adults, middle-aged, senior citizens.  It honestly doesn’t matter where you are in life, what has happened to you, or how good/bad your circumstances are currently – the science repeatedly shows that intentionally chosen, routine expression of gratitude has a massive, lasting impact on our lives. 

When we look at Scripture, we find that gratefulness and thankfulness are everywhere.  Depending on your translation, the words “thank”, “thankful”, “thanks”, or “grateful” show up about 150 times.  However, further inspection shows that gratefulness is found in more than just spotting the words.  Think about the yearly feasts and celebrations God prescribed to the Israelites – they were set up to produce annual rhythms of thankfulness and remembrance of how good God had been to the nation of Israel.

In just one example of gratitude from the New Testament, Paul tells the believers in Thessalonica:

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in everything; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

Ever wonder what God’s will is for your life?  Apparently, it is to rejoice, pray, and give thanks.  Regardless of circumstances, moods, or the amount of pain we’re dealing with.

I’m also reminded of the first verses my mom had me memorize (from the NIV84 translation):

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

If we acknowledge Him, which would naturally include expressing gratitude, then God will illuminate our next steps in life. 

It’s times like these that I think our modern-day science is simply catching up with what God has asked us to do – what He has wired us to do – all along.  Expressing gratitude to God shifts the focus off of us and our situation.  It causes us to become more God-focused instead of spinning our wheels in Me-ville. 

In the days after (finally) discovering this principle, I have asked my wife “What 5 things are you grateful for today?”  And you know what?  Each time I have asked, that has been the start of the best conversation of my day.  When we share what we’re grateful for, we’re revealing what we are thinking about, and saying it out loud helps to both frame and affirm how blessed we are.

I intend to ask my wife this question every day, because I think it’ll be a good way for us to connect, communicate, and get all the benefits that science has discovered…and especially the ones that God promises as well.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Pausing on doubts

I hate to second-guess myself.  I do not want to spend my time wondering if I made the wrong choice or fretting about the possibility I’ve traveled down the wrong path.  However, at one point or another in life, we wrestle with questions like these: Did I choose the right career?  Should we have bought that house instead of this one?  Did I marry the right person?  Was it wrong to _________?  What if I had said ________?

We could spin ourselves in circles with questions like those.

While we try to be as informed as possible when we make life-altering decisions, later on we are often faced with a moment that causes us to question our choices.  Doubt is powerful, and our circumstances play a huge part in how influential our doubts become.

But then there’s an even bigger doubt we sometimes face…one that we may publicly acknowledge does happen to people, but we are terrified to admit when we are the ones struggling with it…what about doubting God?  Doubting that I’m following Him like I’m supposed to.  Doubting the ministry that I’m working for.  Doubting that He really loves us or even exists.

I find it interesting that one of Jesus’ disciples, Thomas, gets the doubt-label “Doubting Thomas”, when there was an equally famous believer who did not get labeled as a doubter, even though he too struggled with doubting that Jesus was the Messiah.

I’m talking about John the Baptist.  For a quick review, let’s look at John’s resume: he was Jesus’ cousin, his birth was announced by an angel who prophesized a powerful Spirit-filled life, never had fermented drink, considered to be a prophet by the people, preached in the wilderness of the Messiah’s coming, persuaded countless numbers of people to turn from their sins in anticipation of the Messiah’s arrival and the introduction of the Kingdom of God on earth.  John the Baptist was the first to declare to the masses who Jesus was and what His mission would be – behold the lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world (John 1:29)– John also had the honor of baptizing Jesus.  Throughout his life, John did what God asked him to do, and he did it well. 

But the physical Kingdom of God didn’t show up with the Messiah’s arrival.  The established political and religious power structures remained in place…and the people at the top didn’t like John and his message.  So King Herod had John thrown into prison.

Let’s pause right here.  Put yourself in John’s place.  Everything you have done in your life and for God was supposed to lead up to the Messiah’s arrival.  And everyone believed that when the Messiah appeared, His purpose would be to setup the literal, physical Kingdom of God on Earth.  But that hasn’t happened…the circumstances John has been expecting – and telling others to expect – hadn’t come.  What is John thinking as time slowly passes in prison?  What would you be thinking?

Did I do the right thing?  Was I wrong about the Kingdom being at hand?  Is Jesus the Messiah we’ve been waiting for?

We don’t know how long John stewed over these questions, but at some point, he decided to get some clarity:

Matthew 11:1-3
When Jesus had finished giving instructions to His twelve disciples, He moved on from there to teach and preach in their towns.  Now when John heard in prison what the Christ was doing, he sent a message through his disciples and asked Him, “Are you the One who is to come, or should we expect someone else?”

John’s question is a big one.  Essentially, he’s asking Jesus: Are you who you say you are?  Can I trust you to do what you’ve said you will do?

I think all Christians struggle with this at some point in their life.  Maybe we’re too scared to say it out loud, but when our expectations of God are not met…it can lead to some serious inner turmoil, especially when our circumstances are the opposite of how we thought God would come through.

We typically don’t verbalize our struggle because we don’t want to look bad in front of other believers.  Or we may have heard a preacher lay on a guilt-trip, extra-thick, for anyone who expresses any level of doubt toward God.  We try to laugh off our silent struggle by saying that we don’t want to get “struck by lightning” and have the situation become worse because we’ve verbally questioned God and His purposes.

But what does God think of our doubts?  How does He handle our struggles?  Let’s look at how Jesus replied to John’s question:

Matthew 11:4-6
Jesus replied to them, “Go and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive their sight, the lame walk, those with leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor are told the good news, and blessed is the one who isn’t offended by Me.”

Jesus doesn’t respond with lightning bolts.  He doesn’t even get angry.  Note, too, that Jesus does not explain or justify His current actions in light of John’s expectations.  Instead, Jesus points John back to the Scriptures, back to what Isaiah prophesied about the coming Messiah:

The blind receive their sight (Isaiah 29:18, 35:5),
the lame walk (Isaiah 35:6),
those with leprosy are cleansed (Isaiah 53:4),
the deaf hear (Isaiah 29:18-19, 35:5),
the dead are raised (Isaiah 26:18-19),
and the poor are told the good news (Isaiah 61:1)

That is an impressive list, and since Jesus was doing all these things, He certainly answers John’s question…but then Jesus finishes off His answer with a promise: and blessed is the one who isn’t offended by Me. 

The word blessed used here is the same as what Jesus said in His beatitudes (Blessed is the one who… from Matthew 5).  Jesus is telling John that He is the promised Messiah, but there is a blessing for those who do not get tripped up over how and when Jesus is undertaking His Messiah responsibilities.

Be sure to read that last part – and blessed is the one who isn’t offended by Me – as a promise and not a put-down, because of what Jesus then said about John to the crowds:

Matthew 11:11, 13-14
Truly I tell you, among those born of women no one greater than John the Baptist has appeared…for all the prophets and the law prophesied until John.  And if you’re willing to accept it, he is the Elijah who is to come.

Even after John’s struggle with doubt, Jesus still called him the greatest prophet.  For all the miraculous works and Messiah-is-coming teaching brought by the earlier prophets, John alone can claim that he was the final Old Testament prophet.  To herald the Messiah’s arrival is a privilege and honor afforded only to John.

What this shows us is that God can handle our doubts.  It’s ok to bring them to Him.  While God isn’t obligated to justify His actions, we can rely on the promises He has already made to us in Scripture.  And even when – not if – we struggle with doubt, God is still willing to bless us as we wait for Him to do what He has said He will do.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Two paths, but only one leads to happiness

Last time, we looked at the beginning of Psalm 1, and we found strong advice on where not to go for our happiness:

 Psalm 1:1
How happy is the one who does not
walk in the advice of the wicked or
stand in the pathway with sinners or
sit in the company of mockers!

The second verse tells us where to go to find our happiness:

Psalm 1:2
Instead, his delight is in the Lord’s instruction,
and he meditates on it day and night.

Hebrew psalms and proverbs were commonly written in parallel form, comparing and contrasting two aspects of life – in this case, the psalmist is contrasting a life lived with God’s input and a life lived without it.

We have to be careful here.  There is a trap that snares a lot of modern Christians when they read the Bible, and especially when they read Old Testament passages – although easy to do, there is no evidence here that we should read this text as a contrast of “saved” vs “unsaved”. 

Instead, remember the context of the psalm – the text was written as a poem/song for Israel, very likely before the Babylonian exile.  That puts the date as roughly 1000 BC.  At that time in history, the nation of Israel was in good world-political standing, they were prosperous, and they were not under the rule of any other nation.  The Mosaic Law was in full force (referred to in the psalm as the Lord’s instruction, and animal sacrifices were part of daily living).  As such, this psalm is about a way of life, not how to change one’s eternal destiny.

Therefore, based on the context, the topic of Psalm 1 is not “those who have everlasting life vs those who do not have everlasting life”…instead, it is “those who are blessed/happy vs those who are not blessed/happy”.

With this psalm, the Israelites are given a choice.  Being presented with two paths is not a new concept for them, either.  Compare Psalm 1:1-2 with what Moses told the Israelites before they entered the Promised Land:

Deuteronomy 11:26-28
Look, today I set before you a blessing and a curse: there will be a blessing, if you obey the commands of the Lord your God I am giving you today, and a curse, if you do not obey the commands of the Lord your God and you turn aside from the path I command you today by following other gods you have not known.

It’s not always easy to see where certain paths lead.  Like Proverbs 14:12 says “there is a way that seems right to a person…”.  Some bad paths may not look bad, at least at first.  This is why God gives us so many warnings in Scripture, and putting this poem/song at the beginning of the book of Psalms is a great way to start the entire book.  Starting with this kind of warning is a “first things first” approach to teaching the nation of Israel about their relationship with God.  Beginning with the End in mind will help them discern the choices and paths before them.

Looking at Psalm 1:1-2, we see that happiness comes from avoiding the habits of the wicked and replacing that constant input with the Lord’s continuous instruction.

The two paths presented look like this:

walking in advice of the wicked
standing in the pathway with sinners
sitting in the company of mockers
vs
delighting in the LORD’s instruction and meditating on it day and night

But verse 2 is counter-intuitive, isn’t it?  It’s not often that we connect delight and the Lord’s instruction.  Those aren’t concepts that we usually put together.

But think back to whatever timeframe you consider the “best times” in your life so far…were you following the advice of the wicked, or choosing a life characterized by sin, or actively participating with those who mock God’s ways?  My suspicion is that your “best times” were not characterized by these kinds of activities.  I would even go a step further and suggest that your “best times” were when you were following God’s advice and path for your life.

I can personally attest to this.  Both of the following statements are true for me and my family:
·       The happiest times in my life have been when I am intentionally studying and enjoying God’s Word.  The constant input of God’s influence kept me from wandering to other, more dangerous paths.
·       The happiest times in my marriage have been when both my wife and I are intentionally studying and enjoying God’s Word…and doing so with other godly people of all ages, as a mentor, peers, or younger believers.

Just like the Israelites, we have a choice of two paths: God’s design in His Word or the advice of those who reject God’s way.  One path leads to happiness and life of blessing, the other to unhappiness – while living under God’s curse and displeasure.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Coming out of the detour

Seven months ago, life took a serious detour…a detour that would change the course of my family’s history from that point forward.

My company offered voluntary severance packages.  At least this time, anyway.  The previous two layoffs were not voluntary, and we all had the feeling that any future ones wouldn’t be voluntary, either.  The company’s offer this time was quite generous, but the catch (for our family, at least) was that for my line of work, we’d have to move…out of state…to find the next job.  We had built a good life in West Virginia for the last 13 years, fully expecting to raise our family in one town, one church, one house, and with the same group of friends all the way through high school. 

God had blessed us tremendously in West Virginia, but the more we talked about it, prayed about it, and mulled it over…we knew it was time to go.  So, I raised my hand and volunteered.

The hunt for the next job started immediately, even though I would stay on at work through the end of February.  At first, friends and family were happy for us and wished us well.  But as the months drug on, and the few leads I had didn’t pan out…the well-wishes turned to raised eyebrows and mumbled “hang in theres”.  No one deserted us, but their growing concern was thinly-veiled. 

We felt like we were constantly saying goodbye, but never leaving.  It became increasingly more difficult for all of us to tell people, “No news yet.  Don’t know where God will take us.”  It was wearing on me to stay vigilant over the budget and try to get the house ready to sell, while counting down the number of remaining severance checks.  I actually turned down a job offer from a good friend, because we knew it wasn’t where God wanted us next.  A few weeks later, the day after my next best lead went up in smoke, it happened – we got an offer on the house.

We had a solid offer on our current home and no home to go to.  Zero job prospects at that moment, and we had 10 weeks to get out of the house.  I panicked.  I didn’t sleep that night.  There was a lightning storm raging outside, but it wouldn’t have mattered…the storm inside was twice as intense. 

I don’t specifically remember accusing God of abandoning me, but that’s how I felt.  After hours of pouring my heart out to God…finally emptied out…I gave up, and gave in…

“Whatever job you want, Lord.  Whatever place you want, just show me where.  I don’t care what it is, I just need to know where to take my family next.”

I’m not kidding when I say that I woke up the next morning and found the exact job I had been looking for…freshly posted and in the state we were most interested in – North Carolina.  I didn’t know anyone at that company.  I had no contacts or strings to pull.  Just a blind internet-submitted application and resume.  They called me three days later, and, within two weeks, I had accepted their generous offer.

To call this a coincidence would be naïve.  This whole detour journey has been a God-thing.  There’s no other way to describe it.  Even my non-Christian friends marvel at how well “everything just lined up so perfectly”.  Not that there weren’t frustrations and difficulties along the way, but this isn’t a normal, natural story.  It’s SUPERnatural, without a doubt.

We’ve closed on our house in West Virginia, and by the time this is posted, we’ll have closed on our new home in North Carolina.  We’ve come out of the unexpected detour for the better in a lot of ways…but best of all, we’ve had our faith grow and mature in ways that will echo through the future of our family.  The next chapter is just beginning…and I can’t wait to see what God wants to write.

As for this blog, I intend to continue with the once-a-week schedule until the dust settles here a little.  I’d love to get back to the twice-a-week format, but we’ll see how God leads.

For right now, though, the back end of Psalm 31 describes just how ridiculously blessed we are.  I get a little choked up each time I read it.

Psalm 31:19-24
How great is Your goodness
that You have stored up for those who fear You,
and accomplished in the sight of everyone
for those who take refuge in You.

You hide them in the protection of Your presence;
You conceal them in a shelter
from the schemes of men,
from quarrelsome tongues.

May the Lord be praised,
for He has wonderfully shown His faithful love to me
in a city under siege.
In my alarm I had said,
“I am cut off from Your sight.”
But You heard the sound of my pleading
when I cried to You for help.

Love the Lord, all His faithful ones.
The Lord protects the loyal,
but fully repays the arrogant.
Be strong and courageous,
all you who put your hope in the Lord.

Keep Pressing,
Ken
 

Intentionally written, intentionally read

There are times in our lives when we recognize that we are lacking, that we need to remember certain information or develop a particular skill.  The wise response to this realization is the choice to grow, but it is also just the first step in the process.  The hard part is to actually put forth the effort and energy to make sure we retain the desired information or develop the required skill.

The author of Psalm 119 apparently felt this way also.  The psalm forms the longest chapter in the Bible, with 176 verses.  However, the structure of the psalm is just as striking as the subject matter.

The psalmist’s main topic is his relationship with God, through His revealed word.  The psalmist marvels at the depth and riches provided by the Scriptures as they point toward the ultimate relationship of our lives.  The author thought so highly of the topic, that not only did he discuss it for 176 verses, but he intentionally wrote the psalm in a format that would make it easy to memorize.

Psalm 119 is divided into 22 sections of 8 verses each.  Each section corresponds to one of the 22 letters in the Hebrew alphabet.  In fact, each of the 8 verses in every section begin with a word that starts with the same letter.  For example, the first word of the first 8 verses always begin with the letter Alef; the first word of the second 8 verses always begin with the letter Bet; and the pattern continues through all 22 Hebrew letters.

Why would the author go to this level of detail? 

The psalmist is providing the ABC’s of a relationship with God, in a format that would make it easy to memorize.  This level of intentionality shows how important the psalm’s topic is to the author.  Pick a letter, any letter – because having even one section, just 8 verses, committed to memory would form a bedrock reminder of how our relationship with God is founded upon our handling of God’s Scriptures.

We’re going to look though several sections of Psalm 119.  I would highly encourage you to read through all 22 sections…but not in one sitting.  This psalm isn’t a microwave meal, it is meant to be slow-cooked and allowed to simmer in our minds.  Since the author intentionally wrote it that way, let’s handle it that way also.

The first verse sets the tone for the entire psalm:

Psalm 119:1
How happy are those whose way is blameless, who live according to the law of the Lord!

Other translations render the first word of the “Alef” section as Joyful or Blessed…and this feeling, this state of mind, is a direct result of us living our lives according to the law of the Lord. 

Do we believe him?  Given the amount of effort the author has put forth for this psalm, let’s intentionally look at the Scriptures and find out.

Keep Pressing,
Ken