I have my doubts

Have you ever listened to a vision-casting speech given by a CEO or political candidate?  They lay out their plans and expect us to jump on board and give support via our resources – our time, our effort, and, especially in politics, our money.  How often have you heard a speech like that and thought, “Yeah, I don’t think that’s possible.  I’m not so sure you can actually pull off what you are saying you can do.”?

We have our doubts, and that’s understandable.  We’re hesitant to hitch our time, efforts, or money to anyone who promises great things, but…if they fail…would bring us down with them.  We don’t want to look foolish for wasting our resources because we got caught up in someone else’s failed ideas.

Jesus’ disciples felt the same way, but at a time we might not have expected.  After Jesus rose from the dead, He instructed the disciples to meet Him in Galilee.

Matthew 28:16-17
The eleven disciples traveled to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had directed them.  When they saw Him, they worshiped, but some doubted.

Even in this moment, doubts lingered.  Jesus was back from the dead, but some of the disciples still had their concerns.  It would be easy for us to be hard on them, questioning how they could be so hard-headed.  I mean, they followed this guy for three years and then watched Him die horrifically on a cross…now He has come back to life, standing before them and He’s talking with them!  What other “proof” could they need to erase any doubts about Jesus’ authority and ability?  But let’s look at the scene – the eleven remaining disciples are on a mountain in rural Galilee with the risen Messiah…but no one else is there.  Wouldn’t this be the time to take over?  Wouldn’t you expect bigger crowds and bigger fanfare?

What I find very interesting is that the Greek word Matthew used for doubted is the same one that Jesus used previously with Peter in front of the other disciples.  At that time, they were in the middle of a nasty storm on the Sea of Galilee, and Jesus came to them by walking on top of the crashing waves.  You can read more about this moment in a previous blog series (Part 1 and Part 2).  Jesus had called Peter to join Him, to walk out to Him on the water.  Peter did walk out on top of the still-churning waters, but at one point, he had to be rescued by Jesus as he began to sink.  When Peter called out to Jesus, here’s what happened:

Matthew 14:31
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand, caught hold of him, and said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

As we learned in the previous blog posts, Peter wasn’t doubting Jesus – Peter was doubting himself.  He doubted that he could do what Jesus called him to do.  The strength of the wind and crashing of the waves made him question why he was even out there.  But Jesus didn’t abandon His disciples then, and He wasn’t going to do so now on this mountain in Galilee.  I love the next sentence Matthew writes, immediately after admitting that among the disciples, they worshiped, but some doubted:

Matthew 28:18
Jesus came near and said to them…

Doubt creates distance, but Jesus makes the move to close that gap.  When the disciples’ minds started to drift and their hearts began to pull away, Jesus came near and spoke directly to them.  But what did He say?  How could He reassure them that He had them on the best path, the right way for them to go? 

Jesus spoke to their fears by reminding them of who He is:

Matthew 28:18
…“All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth.”

They had watched Him walk on the stormy waters, calm the raging winds, and perform many miraculous wonders here on earth…but now, He tells them, all authority is His.  He is greater than their worries, bigger than their doubts, and in charge of everything.  Next, he does not use His authority to cut them out, instead He invites them to partner with Him:

Matthew 28:19-20
“Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you.  And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.

Jesus is inviting them on the greatest mission they have ever known, to imitate their teacher and make disciples like He did with them.  There are no boundaries for where they could go and no limitations on whom they could talk to.  It would be understandable, too, if their feelings moved from doubt to overwhelmed.  But Jesus’ answer for being overwhelmed is the same that He had for their doubts and fears – He gave them Himself:

And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.

This mission is for us, as well.  Circumstances and people’s response to Jesus’ message may cause feelings of doubt in us.  We may feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of the mission.  But as we learn our part and participate in the mission, the antidote to our concerns is that we have Jesus’ word – I am with you always.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Pausing on fear (part 2)

When we last saw the disciples, they had been rowing all night long against a massive wind-storm that had struck the Sea of Galilee.  Before the storm hit, they had been doing exactly what Jesus told them to do…but the storm still came anyway.  It is now early morning, just before sunrise and the disciples are exhausted after fighting the storm throughout the dark night.  They had failed to get back to shore, which was still three or four miles away.

It's at this moment that Jesus arrives…because He’s walking on the water.  People don’t do that.  People can’t do that.  And yet, here comes someone or something moving their direction on top of the water.  The disciples’ bodies are spent and their minds are drained, so we can understand how they reacted:

Matthew 14:26-27
When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified.  “It’s a ghost!” they said, and they cried out in fear.  Immediately Jesus spoke to them.  “Have courage!  It is I.  Don’t be afraid.”

Ok, so Jesus’ words make it better, right?  I’m sure the disciples felt some cautious relief…but the storm is still raging and this person (ghost?) claiming to be Jesus hadn’t stopped the winds and waves yet.  So, now what?

Peter steps up for the group to challenge/assess this walking-on-water being, to find out if it really is Jesus or if their night is about to get worse.  In Jewish culture, the disciple’s purpose was to one day be a replica of his Rabbi.  As such, Jesus’ disciples were expected to imitate Jesus until they got it right.  Mustering up his courage, Peter asks:

Matthew 14:28-29
“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter answered Him, “command me to come to You on the water.”

He said, “Come.”

And climbing out of the boat, Peter started walking on the water and came toward Jesus.

Peter did it…he actually walked on water!  (Stop and imagine how insanely cool that would be!)  Peter believed that he could do it because Jesus called him to do it.  Peter wanted to be like his teacher, to do everything his Rabbi did…and this was a miraculous situation that Jesus allowed one of His disciples to actively participate in.  Sure, they all had handed out the multiplied loaves and fish when Jesus created enough for the crowd to eat – but Jesus didn’t invite them to create more food with Him.  This time, Peter was an active participant.

However, if you are familiar with this scene, you know that the situation soon changes:

Matthew 14:30-32
But when he saw the strength of the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me!”

Immediately Jesus reached out His hand, caught hold of him, and said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

When they got into the boat, the wind ceased.

Let’s pause right there.  Most modern-day teachers will tell you that Peter sunk because he took his eyes off Jesus.  Their immediate application would be that we, too, are capable of great things as long as we keep our eyes on Jesus.  But I don’t think that is Peter’s issue here…taking his eyes off Jesus isn’t the reason that Jesus said Peter sank.

Look back at the text – what did Jesus say to Peter?  “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

Peter’s little faith was taking Jesus at His word – believing that what Jesus told him he could do, that he could actually do it.  Don’t miss this…Peter’s small amount of faith led to doing something huge.  Peter’s little faith enabled him to walk on water! 

But Jesus points out there is a competitor to faith, and that is doubt.  When Peter looked away from Jesus and saw the strength of the wind and saw the waves crashing about, did he sink then?  No, he didn’t.  It was after he was afraid that the situation changed.  Jesus equates fear and doubt when He says that Peter began to sink because he doubted.  But whom or what did Peter doubt? 

Did he doubt Jesus?  No, Jesus was still standing on top of the waves and not sinking.  Peter asked Jesus for help, so he certainly didn’t doubt Jesus’ ability.

Did he doubt Jesus’ instructions?  No indication of that in the text.  We don’t see Peter telling Jesus “I don’t believe you.  Your instructions to get out of the boat and walk on water were wrong.”

Then whom did he doubt?  Peter doubted himself.

Peter didn’t begin to sink until he was afraid and began to doubt that he would be able to do what Jesus called Him to do.  The instruction-giver was good.  The instructions were good.  When Peter first stepped outside the safety of the boat, he was equally exposed to the elements when he was walking on the water or when he was sinking in the water.  The only thing that changed in this situation is Peter’s belief in himself to do what Jesus had called him to do.

Peter didn’t sink because he took his eyes off Jesus – if that was the case, Peter would have risen back above the water when he looked at Jesus to ask for help.  Jesus obviously believed that Peter could do it – otherwise He wouldn’t have called Peter to get out of the boat.  Jesus had faith in Peter, but Peter lost faith in himself. 

So what do we do in moments like this?  We eagerly jump into what God has called us to do and it starts out great…but then storms hit hard, we become afraid, and start to sink.  Fear feeds on itself and only becomes ravenous for more.  We know something must be done, something has to change, or else we’ll go under.

Peter didn’t talk down to himself for attempting what others thought to be impossible.  He didn’t talk himself up with words of encouragement, attempting to build up his inner motivation to do better, either.  Instead…he called out to Jesus: Lord, save me!  A simple, direct request that conveys Peter’s understanding of who Jesus is and his faith in Him.  Peter never doubted Jesus and knew that Jesus was his only chance at being rescued. 

Take comfort in the next word – Immediately.  As soon as Peter called out, Jesus reached out His hand and caught hold of him.  The storm still had not stopped.  The wind was still whipping and the waves were still thrashing.  But Jesus had ahold of Peter in the middle of it.

I think a little too much is made about Jesus’ reproof: “You of little faith, why did you doubt?”  This wasn’t a lecture.  This wasn’t harsh criticism of Peter’s spiritual development.  But it was a question that Peter needed to hear and wrestle with himself.

Lastly, let’s look at the final verse: When they got into the boat, the wind ceased.  This means that Jesus and Peter walked back to the boat, on top of the water, while the storm was still raging.  The storm didn’t stop until after they were back in the boat.

Jesus has tremendous faith in us to do what He has called us to do.  From the broad mission statement of His Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20) to the use of skills and abilities He gives to each of us – we all have a part to play.  But when the storms of life hit and hit hard, Peter’s example is one to remember.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Pausing on doubts

I hate to second-guess myself.  I do not want to spend my time wondering if I made the wrong choice or fretting about the possibility I’ve traveled down the wrong path.  However, at one point or another in life, we wrestle with questions like these: Did I choose the right career?  Should we have bought that house instead of this one?  Did I marry the right person?  Was it wrong to _________?  What if I had said ________?

We could spin ourselves in circles with questions like those.

While we try to be as informed as possible when we make life-altering decisions, later on we are often faced with a moment that causes us to question our choices.  Doubt is powerful, and our circumstances play a huge part in how influential our doubts become.

But then there’s an even bigger doubt we sometimes face…one that we may publicly acknowledge does happen to people, but we are terrified to admit when we are the ones struggling with it…what about doubting God?  Doubting that I’m following Him like I’m supposed to.  Doubting the ministry that I’m working for.  Doubting that He really loves us or even exists.

I find it interesting that one of Jesus’ disciples, Thomas, gets the doubt-label “Doubting Thomas”, when there was an equally famous believer who did not get labeled as a doubter, even though he too struggled with doubting that Jesus was the Messiah.

I’m talking about John the Baptist.  For a quick review, let’s look at John’s resume: he was Jesus’ cousin, his birth was announced by an angel who prophesized a powerful Spirit-filled life, never had fermented drink, considered to be a prophet by the people, preached in the wilderness of the Messiah’s coming, persuaded countless numbers of people to turn from their sins in anticipation of the Messiah’s arrival and the introduction of the Kingdom of God on earth.  John the Baptist was the first to declare to the masses who Jesus was and what His mission would be – behold the lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world (John 1:29)– John also had the honor of baptizing Jesus.  Throughout his life, John did what God asked him to do, and he did it well. 

But the physical Kingdom of God didn’t show up with the Messiah’s arrival.  The established political and religious power structures remained in place…and the people at the top didn’t like John and his message.  So King Herod had John thrown into prison.

Let’s pause right here.  Put yourself in John’s place.  Everything you have done in your life and for God was supposed to lead up to the Messiah’s arrival.  And everyone believed that when the Messiah appeared, His purpose would be to setup the literal, physical Kingdom of God on Earth.  But that hasn’t happened…the circumstances John has been expecting – and telling others to expect – hadn’t come.  What is John thinking as time slowly passes in prison?  What would you be thinking?

Did I do the right thing?  Was I wrong about the Kingdom being at hand?  Is Jesus the Messiah we’ve been waiting for?

We don’t know how long John stewed over these questions, but at some point, he decided to get some clarity:

Matthew 11:1-3
When Jesus had finished giving instructions to His twelve disciples, He moved on from there to teach and preach in their towns.  Now when John heard in prison what the Christ was doing, he sent a message through his disciples and asked Him, “Are you the One who is to come, or should we expect someone else?”

John’s question is a big one.  Essentially, he’s asking Jesus: Are you who you say you are?  Can I trust you to do what you’ve said you will do?

I think all Christians struggle with this at some point in their life.  Maybe we’re too scared to say it out loud, but when our expectations of God are not met…it can lead to some serious inner turmoil, especially when our circumstances are the opposite of how we thought God would come through.

We typically don’t verbalize our struggle because we don’t want to look bad in front of other believers.  Or we may have heard a preacher lay on a guilt-trip, extra-thick, for anyone who expresses any level of doubt toward God.  We try to laugh off our silent struggle by saying that we don’t want to get “struck by lightning” and have the situation become worse because we’ve verbally questioned God and His purposes.

But what does God think of our doubts?  How does He handle our struggles?  Let’s look at how Jesus replied to John’s question:

Matthew 11:4-6
Jesus replied to them, “Go and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive their sight, the lame walk, those with leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor are told the good news, and blessed is the one who isn’t offended by Me.”

Jesus doesn’t respond with lightning bolts.  He doesn’t even get angry.  Note, too, that Jesus does not explain or justify His current actions in light of John’s expectations.  Instead, Jesus points John back to the Scriptures, back to what Isaiah prophesied about the coming Messiah:

The blind receive their sight (Isaiah 29:18, 35:5),
the lame walk (Isaiah 35:6),
those with leprosy are cleansed (Isaiah 53:4),
the deaf hear (Isaiah 29:18-19, 35:5),
the dead are raised (Isaiah 26:18-19),
and the poor are told the good news (Isaiah 61:1)

That is an impressive list, and since Jesus was doing all these things, He certainly answers John’s question…but then Jesus finishes off His answer with a promise: and blessed is the one who isn’t offended by Me. 

The word blessed used here is the same as what Jesus said in His beatitudes (Blessed is the one who… from Matthew 5).  Jesus is telling John that He is the promised Messiah, but there is a blessing for those who do not get tripped up over how and when Jesus is undertaking His Messiah responsibilities.

Be sure to read that last part – and blessed is the one who isn’t offended by Me – as a promise and not a put-down, because of what Jesus then said about John to the crowds:

Matthew 11:11, 13-14
Truly I tell you, among those born of women no one greater than John the Baptist has appeared…for all the prophets and the law prophesied until John.  And if you’re willing to accept it, he is the Elijah who is to come.

Even after John’s struggle with doubt, Jesus still called him the greatest prophet.  For all the miraculous works and Messiah-is-coming teaching brought by the earlier prophets, John alone can claim that he was the final Old Testament prophet.  To herald the Messiah’s arrival is a privilege and honor afforded only to John.

What this shows us is that God can handle our doubts.  It’s ok to bring them to Him.  While God isn’t obligated to justify His actions, we can rely on the promises He has already made to us in Scripture.  And even when – not if – we struggle with doubt, God is still willing to bless us as we wait for Him to do what He has said He will do.

Keep Pressing,
Ken