A sharpened life (part 2)

Last time, we looked at a commonly known verse that led us to some new insights about ourselves and our relationships:

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron,
and one person sharpens another.

Within the context of Proverbs, the sharpening that Solomon refers to is to become wise, to become skilled at life in a manner that is pleasing to God.  However, we can also learn a few things about becoming wise by thinking about the physical process of sharpening:

First, sharpening cannot be done with just one piece of iron.  Similarly, growing wise does not happen when a believer is flying solo, either.  We need other believers in our lives to sharpen us.

The Hebrew word for another means neighbor, friend, companion, or associate.  Read the proverb again, but slowly, and think about what it says with that definition:

Iron sharpens iron,
and one person sharpens their neighbor.
and one person sharpens their friend.
and one person sharpens their companion.
and one person sharpens their associate.

Each of these imply a relationship between two people, a stranger does not have the same sharpening effect on an individual’s life.  We know that is true from our own experience.  A godly friend who speaks regularly into our lives has a greater impact than a stranger who gives me a piece of his mind, or a speaker heard once at a conference, or even a pastor that preaches to me for 25 minutes every week.

The sharpening impact comes out of the relationship with another.

Secondly, sharpening isn’t a painless process.  There are sparks involved.  Whenever damaged or dulled sections of a blade are sharpened, iron is being forcefully removed or reshaped in order to make a useful, sharp edge.

Similarly, the sharpening process between two people isn’t always easy.  If I’m not willing to hear their encouragement to make the wise choice, or if I don’t want to accept their challenge of my thoughts and attitude – then sparks are going to fly between us. 

Another parallel to note is that when the sharpening process happens, the piece doing the sharpening is working with – and not against – the piece being sharpened.  It’s important for us to work with each other instead of trying to completely remake the person we’re partnering with. 

Do you have someone in your life that you have given verbal permission to sharpen you?  In order to apply Solomon’s wisdom, we must give someone permission to speak into our life AND we must be willing to work with them.

Are we willing to undergo the sharpening process?  That can be a hard question to wrestle with, especially since we know our major dull areas that need sharpening.  If you are hesitant (even a little), pray that God gives you the correct attitude.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: you need a friend

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that is both incredibly simple and challenge-level hard: being open with a friend.

The loneliness statistics in America are staggering.  Cigna did a massive loneliness study in 2018, and here are a few of their findings:

·       Nearly 50% of Americans reported sometimes or always feeling alone
·       Two in five Americans sometimes or always feel that their relationships are not meaningful and that they are isolated from others.
·       One in five people report they rarely or never feel close to people or feel like there are people they can talk to.
·       Generation Z (adults ages 18-22) is the loneliest generation

Cigna followed up with another study in 2019 and a post-pandemic study – with both showing that the numbers are getting worse, not better.

We need connection.  God made us for community.  Solomon knew this and included wisdom about friendships in his collection of proverbs.  But friendships can be messy, can’t they?  A supportive relationship with someone who isn’t a blood relative or a direct dependent takes energy and effort.  While it may be tempting to just withdraw and focus on ourselves, Solomon actually cautioned against doing so:

Proverbs 18:1
One who isolates himself pursues selfish desires;
he rebels against all sound wisdom.

Without outside counsel, our aims become very selfish.  But seriously, what else would we expect?  If we’re going to isolate ourselves away from others, there’s no one left for us to focus on besides ourselves.  The problem with doing so is that we become self-centered in our thoughts and actions.  Isolation and loneliness is a trap for our minds, one that keeps us away from sound wisdom.  If we are alone long enough, our blind spots and selfishness warp our minds to the point that we reject – or even rebel against – any wisdom that comes our way.

But friendship is more than just correcting each other when we’re drifting toward selfishness.  Solomon also addressed one of the main benefits of having a friend:

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for a difficult time.

We were made to give and receive love.  Knowing you have a friend in your corner, someone that loves you at all times, is a great resource.  When we are giving that same love to our friend, we are removing our focus off of ourself.  This giving-receiving love process actually protects us from the isolation trap that Solomon described in the previous proverb.  Difficult times will come, but they are easier to navigate with a friend in your corner.

However, don’t think a loving friendship means that your friend has to always agree with you or support your ideas.  Sometimes, we need to be told that we’re heading in the wrong direction:

Proverbs 27:6
The wounds of a friend are trustworthy,
but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.

Even coming from a friend, correction still stings.  However, when we know our friend has our best interests in mind, the times they choose to warn us – even figuratively wound us – we know we can trust them.  This again goes back to the first proverb we looked at…a friend’s trustworthy correction keeps us from rebelling against all sound wisdom. 

If all you get are excessive compliments and kisses from someone, especially if they are nudging you towards your selfish desires or unsafe situations…that person is not the friend you need when a difficult time arrives.  Solomon warns us to be very careful with someone who tries to deceive us with an abundance of praise.

Our last proverb is probably the most quoted proverb on this topic.  With just eight words, Solomon perfectly describes the goal of friendships:

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron,
and one person sharpens another.

The goal of a friendship is to make each other better, to make each other sharper.  There are many things to love about Solomon’s word picture, but the main thing to take away is that the sharpening process doesn’t happen for someone who has isolated themselves.  Isolation develops a selfish mind and dulls our lives.  We need one another to help us grow into the man or woman that God has made us to be.

Do you have a friend you can count on, or are you feeling lonely?  If you’re drifting toward loneliness, talk to God about it and be on the lookout for someone you can connect with.  Do not let yourself become comfortable with being alone…you weren’t made for that.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

An undeserved seat at the table

If you study Scripture long enough, you’ll begin to see that patterns emerge.  Themes about God are repeated at various moments in history.  Prophecies are fulfilled, but sometimes more than once and within different generations.  Oftentimes, God’s actions and stories from others people’s lives in the Old Testament are a foreshadowing of something yet to come.  I was introduced to one recently that I want to share.

King Saul had decided to kill David, whom God had already chosen to be Israel’s next king.  Saul’s son Jonathan was David’s best friend, despite knowing that he – the expected heir to the throne – was being passed over.  At one of their last face-to-face meetings, Jonathan and David affirmed their friendship and that it would continue throughout the generations of each other’s families. 

The Bible never explicitly says how long David would be on the run from Saul, but many commentators estimate that it was between 4 and 8 years.  Eventually, Saul and Jonathan died in a battle against the Philistines, and we learn this about Jonathan’s family:

2 Samuel 4:4
Saul’s son Jonathan had a son whose feet were crippled.  He was five years old when the report about Saul and Jonathan came from Jezreel.  His nanny picked him up and fled, but as she was hurrying to flee, he fell and became lame.  His name was Mephibosheth.

As time passed, David became king, took control of the nation, recovered the Ark of the Covenant, and subdued Israel’s enemies.  However, he had not forgotten his promise to Jonathan.

2 Samuel 9:1-5
David asked, “Is there anyone remaining from the family of Saul I can show kindness to for Jonathan’s sake?”  There was a servant of Saul’s family named Ziba.  They summoned him to David, and the king said to him, “Are you Ziba?”

“I am your servant,” he replied.

So the king asked, “Is there anyone left of Saul’s family that I can show the kindness of God to?”

Ziba said to the king, “There is still Jonathan’s son who was injured in both feet.”

The king asked him, “Where is he?”

Ziba answered the king, “You’ll find him in Lo-debar at the house of Machir son of Ammiel.”  So King David had him brought from the house of Machir son of Ammiel in Lo-debar.

It was normal practice for the new incoming king to kill off all descendants of the previous king, in order to assure there were no challengers to the new king’s throne.  So it’s no surprise that Mephibosheth (I’ll call him ‘Shef’) was living his life in secret in a place like Lo-debar.  The name debar translates to either “pasture” or “thing”.  Given that the term “lo” is a negative, Shef was hiding in the last place that anyone would look – a place with “No pasture” and “Nothing” to offer. 

Much to Shef’s horror, I’m sure, he was still found out and summoned to the new king’s palace.  It is unlikely that he was alive the last time his father and David spoke.  It’s entirely possible that he did not know what kind of friendship they had.  Although David had told Ziba that he planned to show kindness to him, could he be really sure that was the case?  How much anxiety did he have as he made the journey to Jerusalem?  I can easily imagine him being a sweaty bundle of nerves by the time he arrived in the king’s palace.

2 Samuel 9:6-8,11-13
Mephibosheth son of Jonathan son of Saul came to David, fell facedown, and paid homage.  David said, “Mephibosheth!”

“I am your servant,” he replied.

“Don’t be afraid,” David said to him, “since I intend to show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan.  I will restore to you all your grandfather Saul’s fields, and you will always eat meals at my table.”

Mephibosheth paid homage and said, “What is your servant that you take an interest in a dead dog like me?”…So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table just like one of the king’s sons.  Mephibosheth had a young son whose name was Mica.  All those living in Ziba’s house were Mephibosheth’s servants.  However, Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem because he always ate at the king’s table.  His feet had been injured.

Shef received unmerited favor from the King.  By the law of the land, King David was not expected to allow Shef to live, let alone give him property, servants, and a place at the king’s table!  Shef had moved from Podunk to the Palace, from mud pit to marble, from nothing to being treated the same as one of the King’s sons.  Shef didn’t deserve this.  He couldn’t have earned his way up to it, either.  Even though he remained physically crippled, he was still welcome.

The parallel I was recently shown is that this is how Jesus treats us.  We’re crippled in our sin-soaked state.  We don’t deserve His favor.  We can’t earn His forgiveness.  And yet…Jesus still offers eternal life to anyone who believes in Him for it.  Once we accept that gift…His unmerited favor…we, too, have a seat at the Father’s table.  We are treated as a child of God, with all the access and privileges for those of that status.

But, just like Shef…we’re still physically broken.  Our bodies are flawed.  The older we get, the more we become aware of that fact.  David couldn’t fix Shef, but one day, God promises that we will have resurrection bodies. 

If you have believed in Jesus for eternal life, take a moment and thank Him for your seat at the table.  Then be on the lookout for opportunities to invite others to join us.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Time to get personal

Although Paul wasn’t directly involved with Colossian church, several people he knew and cared about were.  Epaphrus, Archippus, Nympha, and Philemon all played various roles and had specific ministries to the believers in Colossae.  The rest of the congregation hadn’t met Paul.  So when he sent Tychicus with the letter to the Colossian church, Paul wrote from a position of a guest preacher who would teach them important truths and show them practical ways to live out their new life in Christ.

Notice how Paul identifies himself at the beginning of the letter:

Colossians 1:1-2
Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by God’s will, and Timothy our brother. 
To the saints and faithful brothers in Christ in Colossae. 
Grace and peace from God our Father.

From the get-go, Paul identifies himself as an apostle of Christ Jesus, which also provides the credibility for the things he wrote to them.  However, along with this letter, Paul had Tychicus deliver a second, more personal note.  The subject of this second letter was Tychicus’ traveling partner, Onesimus.  We were briefly introduced to him at the end of Colossians:

Colossians 4:7-9
Tychicus, a loved brother, a faithful servant, and a fellow slave in the Lord, will tell you all the news about me.  I have sent him to you for this very purpose, so that you may know how we are, and so that he may encourage your hearts.  He is with Onesimus, a faithful and loved brother, who is one of you.  They will tell you about everything here.

Onesimus needed to be reconciled with Philemon.  We’ll get into the details of what was broken in their relationship later, but it was serious enough that Paul chose to step into the fray with these two people he dearly loved.  For now, notice how Paul identifies himself at the beginning of his letter to Philemon:

Philemon 1-3
Paul, a prison of Christ Jesus, and Timothy, our brother:
To Philemon, our dear friend and co-worker, to Apphia our sister, to Archippus our fellow soldier, and to the church that meets in your house.
Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

A little later, Paul says

Philemon 8-9
For this reason, although I have great boldness in Christ to command you to do what is right, I appeal, instead, on the basis of love.

There is no appeal to his apostleship.  Paul doesn’t take a stance or tell Philemon what to do based upon his authority in the family of believers.  Instead, Paul appeals to his friend out of love.  This is where the rubber meets the road – where teaching meets real life.  Paul taught the Colossians about the importance of having Jesus as the focus of our lives and the difference made because of it…but Paul himself must also live it out. 

There are many relationship lessons we can glean from reading Paul’s personal letter to Philemon, but it will be of greater importance for us to take those observations and apply them to those around us.  After all, a Christ-focused life is not found in the teaching of the theoretical, but in the personal living of the practical.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Unlikely partners

After identifying himself as the letter’s author, Paul then turns his attention to his letter’s recipient:

Titus 1:4 To Titus, my true son in our common faith: Grace and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Savior.

I absolutely love the way Paul addresses Titus – my true son, and he emphasizes their shared, common faith.  In just a few words we get a strong sense of the depth of relationship between these two men.  This bond was founded upon their shared belief that Jesus is who he claimed to be – the Savior of all mankind, the promised Christ.

Outside of this connection, their friendship likely wouldn’t have happened.  There is a very good chance that they would not have even known each other.  Paul was a circumcised Jew, and before meeting Jesus he was well on his way to becoming the top Jewish rabbi in known world.  Titus, on the other hand, was an uncircumcised Greek.  These two didn’t just become the first century’s version of “the odd couple”, they were polar opposites!  Outside of Jesus, they had no known commonalities or expected connections.  Their social circles would not have intersected.

However, because of Jesus, these two men formed an incredible partnership.  Paul mentored Titus.  Titus became Paul’s protégé.  Titus responded and matured so well that Paul trusted him with many important responsibilities.  The main one we’re going to be focusing on is outlined in verse 5:

Titus 1:5 The reason I left you in Crete was that you might straighten out what was left unfinished and appoint elders in every town, as I directed you.

This was not a small task.  The island of Crete is about 3,200 square miles, and although mountainous, it was heavily populated.  When Paul left to continue his travels, Titus was to carry on in Paul’s authority, as an apostolic representative…and Titus was up for the challenge.  He loved the people of Crete and worked with them for many, many years.  In fact, one source I found stated that “Tradition has it that Titus, having become first bishop of Crete, died there in advanced years.  His successor, Andreas Cretensis, eulogized him in the following terms: ‘The first foundation-stone of the Cretan church; the pillar of the truth; the stay of the faith; the never silent trumpet of the evangelical message; the exalted echo of Paul’s own voice’.”

This kind of impact was achieved because Paul took the time to mentor someone that he had no previous connection with.  Their friendship, partnership, and resulting impact would not have occurred if either of them had held to their societies’ norms and prejudices.

Our relationship with Jesus radically changes the nature of our relationships with people we would have never known otherwise.  God puts the unlikely together and then accomplishes great things.  Are you being mentored right now?  Are you mentoring someone?  If the answer is “no” to either one of those questions, I urge you to ask God to fill that void.  When you ask, he will answer…but your mentor or mentee may be someone you would have never expected.  Will you trust his selection?  Your partnership will have a future impact greater than you can know right now.

Keep Pressing,
Ken