Adoption is forever

After adopting a child, it is common for the child to struggle with a fear of abandonment.  Even after being placed into a new, loving home, they experience this nagging apprehension that at some point, the rug will be pulled out from under them again.  In their minds…if their birth parents rejected them (usually for an unknown-to-them reason), then what’s to stop their adoptive parents from one day doing the same thing?

Typically, this fear isn’t something that is clearly expressed.  Instead, it can surface at various points in childhood, adolescence, or even into adulthood.  Some examples include: behavior issues at home or school, hyperactivity, eating disorders, significant difficulties with interpersonal relationships, or even sleep issues.  It is also possible for an adopted child to move toward the opposite extreme – trying to do everything perfect, to be so incredibly “good” in the hopes that their new parents will never have a reason to abandon them.

The bad behavior is what receives the most attention and treatment attempts…but even if the child’s external performance improves, the deep-worry of potential rejection is often not addressed.  An adopted child at the other end of the behavior spectrum is unlikely to have their deep fears discussed, since it would be easy for the new parents to take such “good” behavior for granted.  However, the child’s insecurities are often shown in their depressive or anxious reactions when they do make a mistake.

To quote one adoption expert, “Young children do not understand about the legal permanency of adoption.”  The most impactful response to the child’s abandonment fears, however they are expressed, is a consistent showing of unconditional love and a constant reminder of who they are within their new family.

Which leads me back to thinking about all of us who have been adopted into God’s family.  Do we, too, struggle with a fear of abandonment?  Do we fear not being “good enough” for God to keep us around?  Are our struggles – difficulties with interpersonal relationships, eating disorders, addictive behaviors, outbursts of anger, anxiety, and the like – are these rooted in the fear that God will one day reject us?

I gently challenge you to consider your struggles, and look deeper to see if there isn’t an underlying trust issue between yourself and God.  It’s certainly possible you’ll need help to do this.  Think through this with a friend, talk to your spouse, or speak with a counselor.  We need to be honest with ourselves and determine if our drive for “Christian perfection” or “Christian rebellion” comes out of a deep-seeded worry that God’s love has a limit.

While I can’t walk with you through this important self-analysis, I would like to offer some truth to consider as you explore your heart.  The Apostle John started his gospel with this clear statement of adoption:

John 1:12
But to all who did receive Him, He gave them the right to be children of God, to those who believe in His name

John’s entire book was written to present the clear message of how we become God’s adopted children.  He never mentions any other condition, only to believe in Jesus for eternal life.  He even said so as he closed out his book:

John 20:30-31
Jesus performed many other signs in the presence of His disciples that are not written in this book.  But these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in His name.

Paul reiterated this point when he wrote to the believers in Rome.  Paul goes to great lengths to explain that eternal life cannot be earned, we cannot do any work for it – it is solely a gift:

Romans 6:23
the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord

Later on in the letter, Paul also discussed the historical effects of Israel’s rejection of Jesus as the Messiah.  However, while describing how God hasn’t given up on the nation of Israel, he dropped this little nugget of truth:

Romans 11:29
God’s gracious gifts and calling are irrevocable

Did you catch that?  God’s gifts are irrevocable.  Once He gives them, there are no take-backs.  No returns.  Once God gives you eternal life, He doesn’t retract it.  Once adopted, that’s it…you’re in.  You couldn’t earn your way into God’s family, and there’s nothing you can do that will get you kicked out.

You don’t have to live your rebellion or your perfection out of a fear that God might abandon you.  Once you believe in Jesus for eternal life, the matter is settled.  You are adopted – forever.  You are now part of God’s Forever Family.  This is legally permanent, according to the God of the Universe.

Keep Pressing
Ken

An undeserved seat at the table

If you study Scripture long enough, you’ll begin to see that patterns emerge.  Themes about God are repeated at various moments in history.  Prophecies are fulfilled, but sometimes more than once and within different generations.  Oftentimes, God’s actions and stories from others people’s lives in the Old Testament are a foreshadowing of something yet to come.  I was introduced to one recently that I want to share.

King Saul had decided to kill David, whom God had already chosen to be Israel’s next king.  Saul’s son Jonathan was David’s best friend, despite knowing that he – the expected heir to the throne – was being passed over.  At one of their last face-to-face meetings, Jonathan and David affirmed their friendship and that it would continue throughout the generations of each other’s families. 

The Bible never explicitly says how long David would be on the run from Saul, but many commentators estimate that it was between 4 and 8 years.  Eventually, Saul and Jonathan died in a battle against the Philistines, and we learn this about Jonathan’s family:

2 Samuel 4:4
Saul’s son Jonathan had a son whose feet were crippled.  He was five years old when the report about Saul and Jonathan came from Jezreel.  His nanny picked him up and fled, but as she was hurrying to flee, he fell and became lame.  His name was Mephibosheth.

As time passed, David became king, took control of the nation, recovered the Ark of the Covenant, and subdued Israel’s enemies.  However, he had not forgotten his promise to Jonathan.

2 Samuel 9:1-5
David asked, “Is there anyone remaining from the family of Saul I can show kindness to for Jonathan’s sake?”  There was a servant of Saul’s family named Ziba.  They summoned him to David, and the king said to him, “Are you Ziba?”

“I am your servant,” he replied.

So the king asked, “Is there anyone left of Saul’s family that I can show the kindness of God to?”

Ziba said to the king, “There is still Jonathan’s son who was injured in both feet.”

The king asked him, “Where is he?”

Ziba answered the king, “You’ll find him in Lo-debar at the house of Machir son of Ammiel.”  So King David had him brought from the house of Machir son of Ammiel in Lo-debar.

It was normal practice for the new incoming king to kill off all descendants of the previous king, in order to assure there were no challengers to the new king’s throne.  So it’s no surprise that Mephibosheth (I’ll call him ‘Shef’) was living his life in secret in a place like Lo-debar.  The name debar translates to either “pasture” or “thing”.  Given that the term “lo” is a negative, Shef was hiding in the last place that anyone would look – a place with “No pasture” and “Nothing” to offer. 

Much to Shef’s horror, I’m sure, he was still found out and summoned to the new king’s palace.  It is unlikely that he was alive the last time his father and David spoke.  It’s entirely possible that he did not know what kind of friendship they had.  Although David had told Ziba that he planned to show kindness to him, could he be really sure that was the case?  How much anxiety did he have as he made the journey to Jerusalem?  I can easily imagine him being a sweaty bundle of nerves by the time he arrived in the king’s palace.

2 Samuel 9:6-8,11-13
Mephibosheth son of Jonathan son of Saul came to David, fell facedown, and paid homage.  David said, “Mephibosheth!”

“I am your servant,” he replied.

“Don’t be afraid,” David said to him, “since I intend to show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan.  I will restore to you all your grandfather Saul’s fields, and you will always eat meals at my table.”

Mephibosheth paid homage and said, “What is your servant that you take an interest in a dead dog like me?”…So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table just like one of the king’s sons.  Mephibosheth had a young son whose name was Mica.  All those living in Ziba’s house were Mephibosheth’s servants.  However, Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem because he always ate at the king’s table.  His feet had been injured.

Shef received unmerited favor from the King.  By the law of the land, King David was not expected to allow Shef to live, let alone give him property, servants, and a place at the king’s table!  Shef had moved from Podunk to the Palace, from mud pit to marble, from nothing to being treated the same as one of the King’s sons.  Shef didn’t deserve this.  He couldn’t have earned his way up to it, either.  Even though he remained physically crippled, he was still welcome.

The parallel I was recently shown is that this is how Jesus treats us.  We’re crippled in our sin-soaked state.  We don’t deserve His favor.  We can’t earn His forgiveness.  And yet…Jesus still offers eternal life to anyone who believes in Him for it.  Once we accept that gift…His unmerited favor…we, too, have a seat at the Father’s table.  We are treated as a child of God, with all the access and privileges for those of that status.

But, just like Shef…we’re still physically broken.  Our bodies are flawed.  The older we get, the more we become aware of that fact.  David couldn’t fix Shef, but one day, God promises that we will have resurrection bodies. 

If you have believed in Jesus for eternal life, take a moment and thank Him for your seat at the table.  Then be on the lookout for opportunities to invite others to join us.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Relating Jesus to others

Some people are hard to reach out to.  They do their best to go through life unseen, or else they give off a vibe that screams “Leave me alone!”.  People who are treated as outcasts by society or those who view themselves as outcasts do not expect to be interacted with.  And while they may not initiate spiritual conversations, that doesn’t mean we cannot relate to them.

John 4:7-9
A woman of Samaria came to draw water.
“Give Me a drink,” Jesus said to her, because His disciples had gone into town to buy food.
“How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?” she asked Him.  For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.

The normal prejudices of Jesus’ day prohibited public conversation between men and women, between Jews and Samaritans, and especially between strangers.  A Jewish Rabbi would rather go thirsty than violate these social boundaries.

That may sound absurd to us today, but in Bible times this was a serious etiquette predicament.  By asking this woman for a drink, Jesus is breaking all rules of Jewish piety and He also opens Himself to a charge of acting in a flirtatious manner.  Wait…flirting, really?  Well, you may recall that Israel’s patriarchs Isaac and Jacob found their prospective wives at wells.  Talking with an unfamiliar Samaritan woman was no small event, which is why she was so taken aback when Jesus started the conversation.  However, He does not let her surprise derail the conversation:

John 4:10
Jesus answered, “If you knew the gift of God, and Who is saying to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would ask Him, and He would give you living water.”

Jesus identifies Himself as the gift of God.  Someone living in Samaria would have been a bit isolated from the happenings around Jesus’ ministry among the Jews.  At best, she may have heard some travelers talking about it.  Add in the limited knowledge of the Samaritans’ religion (since the only part of the Old Testament they used were the first five books), and it is understandable that she was unaware of who was talking with her.  She was did not know that God had given all of humanity an incredible gift.

In the previous chapter, John records Jesus explaining God’s gift this way:

John 3:16
For God loved the world in this way: He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

God loved…so God gave…which means Jesus accurately described Himself to the Samaritan woman as the gift of God.  Although Jesus was able to cut to the chase and present the entire gospel message to Nicodemus in John 3:16, Jesus takes a slower approach with her. 

This isn’t a man vs. woman thing, either.  There were significant differences between these two situations, even though Jesus is revealing who He is to both of them.  Nicodemus came to Jesus – Jesus approached the woman.  It was culturally expected that Jesus would discuss theology with another man – it was culturally unexpected that Jesus would discuss anything with a Samaritan woman.  Because he was immersed in Jewish law and God’s scriptures, Nicodemus had a base-level understanding of what the Messiah would be like – she only looked forward to the prophet Moses predicted. 

Jesus’ good news discussion – about Himself – isn’t the same in both conversations, either.  Instead, Jesus uses their immediate, relatable surroundings to communicate the truth of who He is to the Samaritan woman.

From Jesus’ example, we see that there isn’t just one way to present the gospel of who Jesus is.  As long as our message is focused on Him and the simplicity of believing in Him for eternal life, we are free to approach anyone however we can relate to them.

Keep Pressing,
Ken