Adoption is forever

After adopting a child, it is common for the child to struggle with a fear of abandonment.  Even after being placed into a new, loving home, they experience this nagging apprehension that at some point, the rug will be pulled out from under them again.  In their minds…if their birth parents rejected them (usually for an unknown-to-them reason), then what’s to stop their adoptive parents from one day doing the same thing?

Typically, this fear isn’t something that is clearly expressed.  Instead, it can surface at various points in childhood, adolescence, or even into adulthood.  Some examples include: behavior issues at home or school, hyperactivity, eating disorders, significant difficulties with interpersonal relationships, or even sleep issues.  It is also possible for an adopted child to move toward the opposite extreme – trying to do everything perfect, to be so incredibly “good” in the hopes that their new parents will never have a reason to abandon them.

The bad behavior is what receives the most attention and treatment attempts…but even if the child’s external performance improves, the deep-worry of potential rejection is often not addressed.  An adopted child at the other end of the behavior spectrum is unlikely to have their deep fears discussed, since it would be easy for the new parents to take such “good” behavior for granted.  However, the child’s insecurities are often shown in their depressive or anxious reactions when they do make a mistake.

To quote one adoption expert, “Young children do not understand about the legal permanency of adoption.”  The most impactful response to the child’s abandonment fears, however they are expressed, is a consistent showing of unconditional love and a constant reminder of who they are within their new family.

Which leads me back to thinking about all of us who have been adopted into God’s family.  Do we, too, struggle with a fear of abandonment?  Do we fear not being “good enough” for God to keep us around?  Are our struggles – difficulties with interpersonal relationships, eating disorders, addictive behaviors, outbursts of anger, anxiety, and the like – are these rooted in the fear that God will one day reject us?

I gently challenge you to consider your struggles, and look deeper to see if there isn’t an underlying trust issue between yourself and God.  It’s certainly possible you’ll need help to do this.  Think through this with a friend, talk to your spouse, or speak with a counselor.  We need to be honest with ourselves and determine if our drive for “Christian perfection” or “Christian rebellion” comes out of a deep-seeded worry that God’s love has a limit.

While I can’t walk with you through this important self-analysis, I would like to offer some truth to consider as you explore your heart.  The Apostle John started his gospel with this clear statement of adoption:

John 1:12
But to all who did receive Him, He gave them the right to be children of God, to those who believe in His name

John’s entire book was written to present the clear message of how we become God’s adopted children.  He never mentions any other condition, only to believe in Jesus for eternal life.  He even said so as he closed out his book:

John 20:30-31
Jesus performed many other signs in the presence of His disciples that are not written in this book.  But these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in His name.

Paul reiterated this point when he wrote to the believers in Rome.  Paul goes to great lengths to explain that eternal life cannot be earned, we cannot do any work for it – it is solely a gift:

Romans 6:23
the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord

Later on in the letter, Paul also discussed the historical effects of Israel’s rejection of Jesus as the Messiah.  However, while describing how God hasn’t given up on the nation of Israel, he dropped this little nugget of truth:

Romans 11:29
God’s gracious gifts and calling are irrevocable

Did you catch that?  God’s gifts are irrevocable.  Once He gives them, there are no take-backs.  No returns.  Once God gives you eternal life, He doesn’t retract it.  Once adopted, that’s it…you’re in.  You couldn’t earn your way into God’s family, and there’s nothing you can do that will get you kicked out.

You don’t have to live your rebellion or your perfection out of a fear that God might abandon you.  Once you believe in Jesus for eternal life, the matter is settled.  You are adopted – forever.  You are now part of God’s Forever Family.  This is legally permanent, according to the God of the Universe.

Keep Pressing
Ken

Fully adopted

A common saying in American culture is that “We’re all God’s children.”  This phrase is usually spoken as a soft-voiced platitude when attempting to stop a discussion about someone else’s poor behavior. 

However, we don’t find anything like this statement in the Bible.  Instead, we read that when someone does something wrong – tells a lie, commits murder, or anything in-between – we are revolting against our original design.  The Bible makes it clear that we are creatures living in rebellion to our Creator.  Nevertheless, the Bible does tell us it is possible for us rebels to change sides – for God’s creation to become God’s children.

How that happens was discussed in last week’s post.  We found that Jesus talked about it often, and His disciples echoed the same theme in their later writings.  The Apostle John concisely explained it at the beginning of his gospel:

John 1:12
But to all who did receive Him, He gave them the right to be children of God, to those who believe in His name

When we believe in Jesus for eternal life, we become one of God’s children.  We are adopted into God’s Holy family. 

But after this moment of adoption…then what happens?  Our life’s circumstances are largely the same.  We’re still interacting with the same people we were before we believed in Jesus.  So, how are we supposed to navigate this life now that we are officially one of “God’s children”?

Many authors in the New Testament deal with what a Christian’s life looks like in this new family setting.  Most of the Apostle Paul’s letters are of him answering questions of what God expects His children to do, and Paul gives guidance on how God helps us.  This is especially true for his letter to the church in Rome.  The point of this letter is to tell believers how they can avoid God’s punishment (referred to as “His wrath”) in our lives here on earth.

In Chapters 6-8, Paul honestly discusses the difficulties we face with the internal war between us living selfishly and us living rightly.  It is a conflict between our past way of life – referred to as “the flesh” – and our new way of life – referred to as “the spirit”.  Paul repeatedly encouraged them to make the right choice, and at one point reminded them of the characteristics of the new life they had received when they believed in Jesus:

Romans 8:15
For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear.  Instead, you received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father!”

The Aramaic word Abba would be equivalent to our English word “daddy”.  As adopted children of God, we no longer have to be afraid of God…instead, He has become our loving father, one that we can reliably call out to for help.

For further explanation of how Paul’s Roman readers would have understood this adoption process, here is some additional detail from Manners & Customs of the Bible:

Among the Greeks and Romans, when a man had no son, he was permitted to adopt one even though not related. He might, if he chose, adopt one of his slaves as a son. The adopted son took the name of the father, and was in every respect regarded and treated as a son. Among the Romans there were two parts to the act of adoption: one a private arrangement between the parties, and the other a formal public declaration of the fact. It is thought by some that the former is referred to in this verse [8:15], and the latter in verse 23, where the apostle speaks of “waiting for the adoption.” The servant has been adopted privately, but he is waiting for a formal public declaration of the fact.

In Romans 8:19-22, Paul discusses how the created world has been corrupted by the effects of sin, that even nature longs to be set free.  And then he compares nature’s longing with our own longing to be fully free as well…as you read the comparison, look for his second mentioning of adoption:

Romans 8:23
Not only that [the creation wants to be freed], but we ourselves who have the Spirit as the firstfruits – we also groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for adoption, the redemption of our bodies.

When we believe in Jesus for eternal life, the private adoption takes place.  We immediately have full access to our Father, and we have all the access and privileges of being one of His children.  However, the formal, public adoption proclamation has not yet taken place.  At that time, the flesh we currently fight against will be the body that is redeemed.

As we wait for that day, and as we navigate this still sin-soaked world, remember that we have received the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father!”  You have every right to do so, and be confident that God always takes care of His children.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

We are family

I grew up in a (mostly) stable home.  We had our ups and downs, and, like any family, there are stories on both sides of that coin.  Overall, though, I know we had it better than many other families.  Us kids knew we were loved and supported.  Additionally, we all understood that our behavior reflected on not just us, but the whole family.  And when things were rough, one thing was for sure…we took care of our issues in-house, as much as possible.

Although Jesus was sinless (and therefore the perfect son and brother), did you know that at least for some period of time, His family didn’t fully support His ministry?  They believed that His actions were causing trouble – for both Himself and for them.

Mark 3:20-21
Jesus entered a house, and the crowd gathered again so that they were not even able to eat.  When His family heard this, they set out to restrain Him, because they said, “He’s out of His mind.”

Did you see that?  Jesus’ family…set out to restrain Him.  Not exactly the picture you expected of Jesus’ mother Mary, right?

They were concerned about Him and His well-being.  It’s understandable.  After all, Jesus was doing something new.  He was leading and teaching in ways that upset the cultural and political norms.  And we all know that “new” isn’t always received as “better” by those who lives are wrapped up in the norms.

This family intervention couldn’t have been a spur-of-the-moment decision by Mary and Jesus’ siblings.  They must have talked about Jesus’ teachings, growing fame, and the all the potential repercussions for Him and for them.  They likely debated over the best way to handle it and approach Jesus, but it was at this moment they decided to act.

His family probably thought they arrived just in time, because while they were on their way, some scribes from Jerusalem were making some condemning allegations against Jesus.  In order to explain how He performed miracles and spoke against Israel’s religious teachers, the scribes accused Jesus of being possessed by Beelzebul (i.e. – Satan).  Can you imagine the shame and difficulty that kind of accusation would have caused Jesus’ family?  After walking into this situation, Jesus’ family was ready for Him to pack up and leave with them.

Mark 3:31
His mother and His brothers came, and standing outside, they sent word to Him and called Him.

What kinds of things do you think they were saying?

Jesus.  Jesus!  It’s time to come home.  Stop making crowds.  They’re dangerous and the Romans will get suspicious of you.  Please come out and go home with us!

Jesus!  The religious leaders will remove our family from the synagogue if you keep challenging their authority and making them look bad.  Please come home so we can talk about this as a family.

Jesus did not hear their pleading calls.  It’s entirely possible that He could not hear them due to the size of the crowd.  Somehow, however, they got word to Him inside the house:

Mark 3:32
A crowd was sitting around Him and told Him, “Look, your mother, your brothers, and your sisters are outside asking for you.”

What’s the correct response here?  Should he tuck tail and leave with His mother and His siblings?  However, Jesus was not a small child for them to lead around.  He was a full grown adult…a man with a God-given purpose, even if His family didn’t understand:

Mark 3:33-35
He replied to them, “Who are My mother and My brothers?”  Looking at those sitting in a circle around Him, He said, “Here are My mother and My brothers!  Whoever does the will of God is My brother and sister and mother.”

In the same way Jesus could tell His mother at twelve “I must be in My Father’s house” (Luke 2:41-50), He now tells His immediate family that He must be about His Father’s business. 

This wasn’t so much a rebuke of His blood-relatives, but Jesus is showing His priority to those who are actively seeking Him.  Those in the crowd that Jesus taught were more than just curious, random strangers…often the crowds that followed Him were those who believed in Him and wanted to learn more from Him.  They were the larger group of disciples that the twelve were chosen from. 

With His declaration “Here are My mother and My brothers!”, Jesus shows that He values them as much as He does His natural-born family.  Jesus is committed to them because they are committed to the same thing He is – doing the will of God.

Maybe you didn’t grow up with the kind of family you wanted.  Maybe your family doesn’t understand this “Jesus thing” that you have and are waiting for you to “snap out of it” and come back to them. 

You might even be feeling lonely, wishing you had a mother or a brother or a sister…but never forget that once you accept Jesus’ free gift of eternal life, you are adopted into His family.  And you have connections with more people from more places and backgrounds than you’ll know what to do with.

We won’t always get along.  We won’t always agree.  But as we continue to sit at Jesus’ feet, we’ll begin to understand how close this family really is, and that we’re most united when we have the same goal…doing the will of God.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

After the adoption

From the moment we believe in Jesus as our Savior, we are part of a new family.  We are legally adopted as God’s children.  An adoption doesn’t cost the child anything…but it always comes with a price for the parent who adopts the child.  The price God the Father paid was the suffering and death of God the Son.

Hebrews 2:14-18
Now since [we] children have flesh and blood in common, He also shared in the these, so that through His death He might destroy the one holding the power of death – that is, the Devil – and free those who were held in slavery all their lives by the fear of death…

Therefore He had to be like His brothers in every way, so that He could become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people.  For since He Himself was tested and has suffered, He is able to help those who are tested.

Ever notice how the younger children in the family always seem to pick up traits and actions of their older sibling?  It’s because they have someone on their level to observe and imitate.  It is the same for us.  Looking to Jesus for an example…and not observing from a distance, but rather just like it happens with siblings. 

But, there is more to being “in the family” than just getting in…

Hebrews 3:1-3
Therefore, holy brothers and companions in a heavenly calling, consider Jesus, the apostle and high priest of our confession; He was faithful to the One who appointed Him…[therefore] Jesus is considered worthy of more glory…

The author is clearly speaking to those already in the family – and is telling us that we have a heavenly calling!  We have the opportunity, right now, to become more than siblings to Jesus…we can also be His companions. 

The Greek word for companions is metochos.  A metochos [plural, metochoi] was a partner, associate, or sharer in some venture.  A king would surround himself with trusted friends and advisors – his Metochoi.  Think of King David’s mighty men or those who were known as a “friend of Caesar”.  These were part of the king’s inner circle, based upon trust and shared experiences.  Not only did the Metochoi have special access to the king, but they were entrusted with important tasks and responsibilities.  Many people can live happily under a good king, but not everyone is part of the Metochoi.

We see the same situation in our own society.  Those who faithfully work hard for a presidential nominee are the most likely candidates for important cabinet positions.  We wouldn’t expect someone who has done nothing more than cast their vote to be appointed to a top position.  They did not toil with the nominee on the campaign trail, and they are not known well enough to be trusted with such an important responsibility. 

Jesus was clear that Christians who do “the will of My Father in heaven” (Matthew 12:50) were the ones closest to Him.  He even told His disciples, “You are My friends if you do what I command you.” (John 15:14).  The Metochoi of King Jesus, then, will be those friends, partners, and companions who have endured the trials of life faithfully to the end – just like He did with His mission from God the Father.

While we might feel uncomfortable with the metochoi concept in relation to Jesus, or we feel unsure how to become part of Christ’s Metochoi…don’t worry, the author of Hebrews will expand upon this concept for us.  However, he gives the first step in 3:1 – we need to keep our attention focused, considering Jesus and who He is.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Your new family and your new name

Building on what he established last time…that Christ is superior in both name (identity) and message, the author tells his readers:

Hebrews 2:1-3
We must therefore pay even more attention to what we have heard, so that we will not drift away.  For if the [previous] message spoken through angels was legally binding, and every transgression and disobedience received a just punishment, how will we escape if we neglect such a great salvation?

Greater value requires greater care.  We know this from our own lives – when something is of great value to us, we handle it differently then something we consider common or of low value.

Since Christ’s message is superior to all previous messages, even the ones delivered by angels, we are encouraged to give it the elevated level of attention it deserves.  The previous covenant between God and Israel contained severe punishments for Israel whenever they deviated and disobeyed either individually (they were excluded from the community, some received the death penalty) or disobeyed as a nation (they were inflicted with plagues, experienced military defeat, and even mass deportation from their homeland).  How much more serious will God be when those within the new covenant drift away and treat Christ’s message as something common or of low value?

But Christ’s superior message is more than a contract between two different parties:

Hebrews 2:11
For the One who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one Father.  That is why He is not ashamed to call them brothers

When an adoption occurs, the child enters the family and receives a new last name.  Therefore you share a last name with the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of [God’s] being (Hebrews 1:3).

You now belong to the “Holy” family.  Your brother is Jesus Holy.  As an example, instead of being Ken Clouser, my name has become Ken Holy.

Put your name in there.  Let it sink in.  Try saying it out loud.

How did you feel saying that?

If we paid more careful attention to this, I don’t believe we would drift away.

Keep Pressing,
Ken