Want a mature response? That’ll take some time.

We’re impatient people.  I mean, really impatient people.

Look no further than how rookie players on professional sports teams are treated nowadays.  If players don’t come in and light up their competition right away, the “BUST” label starts to be tossed around.  It used to be that first round draft picks were afforded 3-4 years to develop into a “Pro”, but not these days.  Any more, if you don’t produce after 1-2 years, the team moves on. 

Teams and impatient fans often throw around the phrase “It’s just business” – but is it really good business to put 19-21 year old rookies against seasoned veterans, and expect the newbies to always succeed?  It takes time to physically, mentally, and emotionally mature…but no one seems to have time for that any more.

It’s not just sports, either.  We put our kids under tremendous pressure to perform at an adult-level, way too early.  Of course, it is important to have standards and rules and expectations – but you can’t demand an 8 year old have the same emotional maturity and personal awareness of a 45 year old.  There are going to be mistakes, misses, and meltdowns.  They’re going to happen, no matter how you respond as a parent. 

I think this happens in the church, as well.  Someone believes in Jesus for eternal life, and BOOM, they’re part of the family.  They are a Christian, forever and ever, amen.  God doesn’t take His gifts back, but they are still a young, immature believer.  And then…while nobody comes out and says this directly…this new believer is suddenly expected to clean up every negative aspect of his behavior, never get angry, never cuss, stop smoking, stop drinking, and on and on and on.  Instantly, as if God flipped a switch and they went from sinner to saint in 3.2 seconds.  And if this new believer slips up a few times and goes back into his old habits?  Well…the veterans might start to wonder if he’s “really a Christian”.

I was recently reading through the stories of Judah’s kings and found a wild situation where a boy named Josiah – through crazy family circumstances and the assassination of his father – became king, at just 8 years old.  That’s just bonkers!  He turned out to be a very good king, but take a look at the timeline for his reign:

2 Chronicles 34:1-3, 8
Josiah was eight years old when he became king, and he reigned thirty-one years in Jerusalem.  He did what was right in the Lord’s sight and walked in the ways of his ancestor David; he did not turn aside to the right or the left.

In the eighth year of his reign, while he was still a youth, Josiah began to seek the God of his ancestor David, and in the twelfth year he began to cleanse Judah and Jerusalem of the high places, the Asherah poles, the carved images, and the cast images…In the eighteenth year of his reign, in order to cleanse the land and the temple, Josiah sent [several of his officials] to repair the temple of the Lord his God.

So, here’s the timeline:

8 years old = becomes king
16 years old = begins to seek God
20 years old = begins to remove various idols from the land
26 years old = begins the repair of the temple

I wonder what the people of Judah said about their king during the four years between when he began seeking God and when he took down the first idol in the land:

“You know…the king says he follows the God of David, but I still see all these other idols around here.  So, I don’t know if he’s really following this God.”

I also wonder what the people of Judah said about their king during the 6 years between when he began removing the idols from the land and when he started the repair work on the temple:

“You know…the king says we can’t worship these other gods anymore, but he hasn’t put any effort into the temple of the God he says we should worship!  Where are his priorities?”

Josiah wasn’t ready to fix the temple or clean up the nation within two months of becoming spiritually aware and seeking the God of his ancestors.  Those outward actions came later, some even 10 years later!  Josiah had to mature first.  He had to learn first.  He needed time first.

I think the parallel for us modern believers is pretty obvious – instead of demanding immediate behavioral perfection, we need to look for progress…and progress in maturity can take time, even years.  Instead of questioning a believer’s salvation because they aren’t behaving the way you think they should, why not find ways to encourage their maturity?

Isn’t that what a family should do?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Kid, don't tell me "No"

When our older son was three and our younger son was less than a year old, we took a trip to visit family.  The trip was good, but one scene certainly stands out in my memory.  Our three year old was acting very much like a three year old that day…rambunctious, high-energy, and constantly repeating his latest favorite word, “No”. 

If you have parented through this stage, I’m sure you can agree that this is a difficult time.  Everything…and I mean everything…gets a “No” reply:

Can you come here please?  No.
Are you hungry?  No.
Do you want to play a game?  No.
Do you need to go to the bathroom?  No. (and you know that’s not true)
Stop hitting your brother.  No.
Go get your shoes, it’s time to go.  No.
Your mom called you, go see her.  No.
What’s your favorite color?  No.
(sitting by himself and talking)  No.  No.  No.  No.  No.

Developmentally, he was finding his voice and learning the proper/improper use of this powerful word.  Even if “No” didn’t fit the context, was untruthful (like when he actually was hungry, or he really did need to go to the bathroom), or was disrespectful, he was going to say it and find out what the consequences were. 

As a parent, this stage wears on your patience.  And by the end of this particular day, my patience was extra thin.  We were all tired, and the constant dripping of No-No-No-No-No had gotten on my last nerve.  After being told to do something and replying with a defiant “No.”, I looked him in the eyes and said “If you say ‘no’ one more time, you’re getting spanked.”  I turned around to walk into the next room, and before I took three steps, behind me I heard

“No.”

I took a deep breath and spun around.  He had just earned a spanking, and he was going to get one.  When our eyes met this time, his were huge, like a deer in the headlights, because he knew what was coming next by the look on my face.

And then my wife burst out laughing.

She was in the room the whole time, holding our younger son.  I stared at her, trying to figure out what was so funny in the middle of this intensely frustrating moment.  She was laughing so hard that she could barely talk – but finally she eeked out, “It wasn’t him…it was…the baby.”

Here’s the kicker.  Our youngest hadn’t said his first word yet.  Not “dada”, not “bye”, not “mama”…nothing but incoherent baby babbles up to this point.  His very first word was the word “No”, and it nearly got his older brother in trouble when he said it!

I was ready to act on the information I had, but what I heard was taken out of context.  Because my back was turned, I did not see who actually said “No”.  If I had gone through with what I understood to be true, I would have unjustly punished my older son for saying something that he didn’t say.

As funny as this family story turned out…unfortunately, many Christians are guilty of doing the same thing with Scripture.  We find a verse that sounds good, that makes us feel good, and we run with it.  We plaster it on coffee mugs, wall hangings, and social media.  However, if we zoom out and look at the context of the verse, we find that the part we like best is only half of the sentence, or just a part of the author’s thought in the particular section.  It is entirely possible to look at a verse in context and discover that the opposite of our single-verse interpretation is true!

Let me give you a couple examples.  A favorite verse of many people is found at the beginning of Paul’s letter to the believers in Philippi:

Philippians 1:6
I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

This verse is typically understood to mean that God will always grow you through whatever challenges and circumstances you face.  That God is going to be working on us and with us throughout our lives.  While that feels nice (and God really does do these things), if we read the full context of the introduction of Paul’s letter (Philippians 1:3-11), we find that the good work isn’t an individual’s path to maturity.  Instead, the Philippian church chose to partner with Paul and financially support his ministry.  Philippians is actually a “thank you” letter, and in 1:6 Paul is telling them that their contributions and partnership will have impact until Jesus returns.  Interpreting in context instead provides a bigger application for us modern believers – we can see how a small gift from a congregation is still ministering to believers 1000s of years later, because we get to read this letter.  The Philippian believers wouldn’t have expected to have this kind of impact, but this example does give us confidence that God can do great things with our contributions and support of ministries today.

A second example is a quote from the Old Testament that often floats around social media when national circumstances feel difficult:

2 Chronicles 7:14
and My people, who bear My name, humble themselves, pray and seek My face, and turn from their evil ways, then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land.

If taught on a Sunday morning, I’m certain your pastor will encourage you to pray for your national leaders, to pray against the evil actions we see in society, and that by doing so, we can be hopeful that God will bless the USA.

And while we should be humble before God, we should pray and seek Him, and we should turn from evil, the promise to heal their land isn’t one that a modern church-age believer can claim.  The fuller context of 2 Chronicles 7:12-22 shows that God is talking to Solomon about a specific location (the temple in Israel).  God goes into great detail about how He will punish the nation of Israel if they abandon Him and what their responses to His punishment could bring.

If we still insist that this verse applies to modern believers, then we need to honestly struggle with a few more questions – namely how this applies to believers in other countries, especially ones like China, Iran, or any place that is violently hostile toward Christians.  Are they not praying hard enough?  Is that why God has yet to heal their land?

God responds in significant ways when we are humble, when we pray and seek Him, and when we turn from evil…but we can’t assume national revival in the USA based upon this verse.

Ultimately, we need to remember that the Bible was written for us, but not to us.  God’s promises were often for specific people at specific times.  We will find promises made to the church, but not every promise contained in Scripture is ours to claim.  Even still, there is plenty to learn about God when we come to a promise that was made to someone else, as they provide evidence that He is faithful to His word and that He cares for those who follow Him.

You may be wondering, What’s the big deal?  If I take a verse “out of context” but it’s still a good application, why should it matter?

Here’s the ultimate reason why we don’t want to take Scripture out of context – to mis-quote God, if you will – a verse out of context can easily lead to an application that is completely wrong and not what God intends for His children.  Just like when I almost unjustly punished my older son, I thought I had all the information needed to take action, but it turns out I didn’t.  My wife provided the additional context so I did not do something that would have harmed my relationship with my son.

We need to be willing to take God at His word.  All of it, in context.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Round 2: When disease hits too close to home

Sometimes, God has us learn lessons a second time. Often it’s because of our own hard-headedness or stupidity, but other times we need to learn a new application of the truths God is purposely inserting into our lives. They can be hard lessons to re-learn when we thought we got what we needed when He taught us before. But apparently…it’s time for my family to revisit how God walks with us when we get “that call”. As you’ll see below, I struggled mightily when my brother was diagnosed with MS. However, this time it’s closer…and harder…because it’s my wife.

On November 12th, just two weeks ago, my wife had a polyp removed from her uterus. On Monday, November 23rd, we got the call that it is cancer. By Wednesday, we met with the oncologist and his recommendation is a complete hysterectomy. We won’t know the stage - how far the cancer has progressed - until she is in surgery. By God’s grace, there was an opening in the surgeon’s schedule for December 1st. The doctor said that 85-90% of endometrial cancer patients do not need radiation or chemo, which is great news…but we’ll take this one step at a time.

The day after we got the call, my thoughts drifted back to this previous series of posts. I went back and read them all, finding some comfort in being reminded of the lessons that God already taught me. So my plan - at this point - is to have you walk back through these lessons with me. I’ll provide updates on Amy as I can in each weekly post.

There are many people in many places praying for my wife, for me, and for our two adult sons. We would be grateful if you choose to join the others in petitioning our Great God on our behalf…but if you do…while we love the idea of praying for comfort and minimal pain, there are other things to pray about that God may consider to be of greater importance at this time: that we grow in dependence on Him, that we grow closer together, that we learn to accept offers of assistance, that we navigate our experience with cancer in a way that points non-Christians to the God who walks along side us, that we trust the very God who could have prevented this cancer from happening is going to use this season for an ultimately bigger and more eternal impact…and these “greater importance items” on God’s agenda may not include comfort or minimal pain.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I don’t have to. God is big enough to handle the future while helping us cope with the present. We have much to be thankful for. Thank you for walking with me.

When disease hits too close to home
originally posted on June 28, 2018

I’ve been dealing with some annoying health stuff for the last 9 months or so.  Nothing life-threatening, but I’m working with Doctors, changing my diet, taking meds and supplements, evaluating potential causes, blah, blah, blah…you know the drill.  Even though it’s not something that will kill me, it is frustrating that my body isn’t working as well as it used to.  I’m not that old, really.  But when you pile this recent development on top of my near-sightedness, my semi-frequent migraines, and a slightly unstable right shoulder…I get the feeling that it’s not going to get any easier as the years continue to pile up.

When I look around at my family, it seems I’m not the only one.  There’s high blood pressure, rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, bi-polar struggles, and a long list of other maladies.  I’m sure you and your family could come up with a similar type of list. 

As we deal with these health issues now, it’s really easy to get frustrated.  I mean, God created everything…and could easily stop any of the health problems that we encounter.  So, why doesn’t He?

We can usually come to some sort of peace about this troubling question by reminding ourselves that we live in a fallen world, that Jesus will make everything right when He returns, and that we have perfectly good resurrection bodies to look forward to.  However, there are some situations when these answers fall short or feel hollow.  The one that really gets to me is my brother.  He has MS.  Wait…before going further, let me re-frame that for you:

My younger brother, who is in his mid-30s, has three kids under the age of 10, faithfully loves his wife, leads in a church that he helped plant, is active in his community, one of the hardest workers I know, a student of the Bible, works in end-of-life hospice care taking care of people who need help, loves Jesus and knows that he is loved by Jesus…he has Multiple Sclerosis.

MS is a failure of the immune system to function properly.  Instead of protecting his body, his immune system attacks him.  He has made adjustments to his life, but the MS has already taken ground – and it doesn’t give ground back.  He could be fine today and be in a wheelchair tomorrow, or he may be fine for many years…but all MS patients end up in the same place.  His body, in the end, will destroy itself.

I can quickly move from frustration to anger over this.  Serious, indignant, vision-blurred-by-tears anger.  God could show up and fix this, RIGHT?  So…what is He waiting for?  Why delay healing my brother?  Why wait for the resurrection?


Did you know…when Jesus was on Earth, He was asked these same questions?

The questions weren’t part of a parable or found in one of His teachings.  Jesus was asked, straight-up.  Real life was happening.  They loved Jesus and He loved them – but they were looking right at Jesus for answers as they dealt with the most unfair moment of their lives.

I need to know how Jesus answered their questions, and there are a few more things I am wondering:

What did Jesus say?
Did He show any emotion?
Did He seem to even care?

We’ll look for answers to these questions as we launch into this next study.  For now, I am clinging to something Paul wrote many years later:

2 Corinthians 4:16
Therefore we do not give up.  Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day.

Our current bodies are falling apart, and it is hard to deal with.  The diseases we encounter in this fallen world are vicious, malicious, and ruthless.  It’s especially difficult to helplessly watch the people we love succumb to them.  But no matter how heavy these moments are, God helps us keep the proper perspective:

2 Corinthians 4:17
For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory.

Today’s crushing avalanche will be nothing more than a light mist in comparison to the eternal glory to be revealed in us. 

Even if we cannot see it right now, because our eyes are blurred by tears.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

We are family

I grew up in a (mostly) stable home.  We had our ups and downs, and, like any family, there are stories on both sides of that coin.  Overall, though, I know we had it better than many other families.  Us kids knew we were loved and supported.  Additionally, we all understood that our behavior reflected on not just us, but the whole family.  And when things were rough, one thing was for sure…we took care of our issues in-house, as much as possible.

Although Jesus was sinless (and therefore the perfect son and brother), did you know that at least for some period of time, His family didn’t fully support His ministry?  They believed that His actions were causing trouble – for both Himself and for them.

Mark 3:20-21
Jesus entered a house, and the crowd gathered again so that they were not even able to eat.  When His family heard this, they set out to restrain Him, because they said, “He’s out of His mind.”

Did you see that?  Jesus’ family…set out to restrain Him.  Not exactly the picture you expected of Jesus’ mother Mary, right?

They were concerned about Him and His well-being.  It’s understandable.  After all, Jesus was doing something new.  He was leading and teaching in ways that upset the cultural and political norms.  And we all know that “new” isn’t always received as “better” by those who lives are wrapped up in the norms.

This family intervention couldn’t have been a spur-of-the-moment decision by Mary and Jesus’ siblings.  They must have talked about Jesus’ teachings, growing fame, and the all the potential repercussions for Him and for them.  They likely debated over the best way to handle it and approach Jesus, but it was at this moment they decided to act.

His family probably thought they arrived just in time, because while they were on their way, some scribes from Jerusalem were making some condemning allegations against Jesus.  In order to explain how He performed miracles and spoke against Israel’s religious teachers, the scribes accused Jesus of being possessed by Beelzebul (i.e. – Satan).  Can you imagine the shame and difficulty that kind of accusation would have caused Jesus’ family?  After walking into this situation, Jesus’ family was ready for Him to pack up and leave with them.

Mark 3:31
His mother and His brothers came, and standing outside, they sent word to Him and called Him.

What kinds of things do you think they were saying?

Jesus.  Jesus!  It’s time to come home.  Stop making crowds.  They’re dangerous and the Romans will get suspicious of you.  Please come out and go home with us!

Jesus!  The religious leaders will remove our family from the synagogue if you keep challenging their authority and making them look bad.  Please come home so we can talk about this as a family.

Jesus did not hear their pleading calls.  It’s entirely possible that He could not hear them due to the size of the crowd.  Somehow, however, they got word to Him inside the house:

Mark 3:32
A crowd was sitting around Him and told Him, “Look, your mother, your brothers, and your sisters are outside asking for you.”

What’s the correct response here?  Should he tuck tail and leave with His mother and His siblings?  However, Jesus was not a small child for them to lead around.  He was a full grown adult…a man with a God-given purpose, even if His family didn’t understand:

Mark 3:33-35
He replied to them, “Who are My mother and My brothers?”  Looking at those sitting in a circle around Him, He said, “Here are My mother and My brothers!  Whoever does the will of God is My brother and sister and mother.”

In the same way Jesus could tell His mother at twelve “I must be in My Father’s house” (Luke 2:41-50), He now tells His immediate family that He must be about His Father’s business. 

This wasn’t so much a rebuke of His blood-relatives, but Jesus is showing His priority to those who are actively seeking Him.  Those in the crowd that Jesus taught were more than just curious, random strangers…often the crowds that followed Him were those who believed in Him and wanted to learn more from Him.  They were the larger group of disciples that the twelve were chosen from. 

With His declaration “Here are My mother and My brothers!”, Jesus shows that He values them as much as He does His natural-born family.  Jesus is committed to them because they are committed to the same thing He is – doing the will of God.

Maybe you didn’t grow up with the kind of family you wanted.  Maybe your family doesn’t understand this “Jesus thing” that you have and are waiting for you to “snap out of it” and come back to them. 

You might even be feeling lonely, wishing you had a mother or a brother or a sister…but never forget that once you accept Jesus’ free gift of eternal life, you are adopted into His family.  And you have connections with more people from more places and backgrounds than you’ll know what to do with.

We won’t always get along.  We won’t always agree.  But as we continue to sit at Jesus’ feet, we’ll begin to understand how close this family really is, and that we’re most united when we have the same goal…doing the will of God.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

When disease hits too close to home

I’ve been dealing with some annoying health stuff for the last 9 months or so.  Nothing life-threatening, but I’m working with Doctors, changing my diet, taking meds and supplements, evaluating potential causes, blah, blah, blah…you know the drill.  Even though it’s not something that will kill me, it is frustrating that my body isn’t working as well as it used to.  I’m not that old, really.  But when you pile this recent development on top of my near-sightedness, my semi-frequent migraines, and a slightly unstable right shoulder…I get the feeling that it’s not going to get any easier as the years continue to pile up.

When I look around at my family, it seems I’m not the only one.  There’s high blood pressure, rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, bi-polar struggles, and a long list of other maladies.  I’m sure you and your family could come up with a similar type of list. 

As we deal with these health issues now, it’s really easy to get frustrated.  I mean, God created everything…and could easily stop any of the health problems that we encounter.  So, why doesn’t He?

We can usually come to some sort of peace about this troubling question by reminding ourselves that we live in a fallen world, that Jesus will make everything right when He returns, and that we have perfectly good resurrection bodies to look forward to.  However, there are some situations when these answers fall short or feel hollow.  The one that really gets to me is my brother.  He has MS.  Wait…before going further, let me re-frame that for you:

My younger brother, who is in his mid-30s, has three kids under the age of 10, faithfully loves his wife, leads in a church that he helped plant, is active in his community, one of the hardest workers I know, a student of the Bible, works in end-of-life hospice care taking care of people who need help, loves Jesus and knows that he is loved by Jesus…he has Multiple Sclerosis.

MS is a failure of the immune system to function properly.  Instead of protecting his body, his immune system attacks him.  He has made adjustments to his life, but the MS has already taken ground – and it doesn’t give ground back.  He could be fine today and be in a wheelchair tomorrow, or he may be fine for many years…but all MS patients end up in the same place.  His body, in the end, will destroy itself.

I can quickly move from frustration to anger over this.  Serious, indignant, vision-blurred-by-tears anger.  God could show up and fix this, RIGHT?  So…what is He waiting for?  Why delay healing my brother?  Why wait for the resurrection?


Did you know…when Jesus was on Earth, He was asked these same questions?

The questions weren’t part of a parable or found in one of His teachings.  Jesus was asked, straight-up.  Real life was happening.  They loved Jesus and He loved them – but they were looking right at Jesus for answers as they dealt with the most unfair moment of their lives.

I need to know how Jesus answered their questions, and there are a few more things I am wondering:

What did Jesus say?
Did He show any emotion?
Did He seem to even care?

We’ll look for answers to these questions as we launch into this next study.  For now, I am clinging to something Paul wrote many years later:

2 Corinthians 4:16
Therefore we do not give up.  Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day.

Our current bodies are falling apart, and it is hard to deal with.  The diseases we encounter in this fallen world are vicious, malicious, and ruthless.  It’s especially difficult to helplessly watch the people we love succumb to them.  But no matter how heavy these moments are, God helps us keep the proper perspective:

2 Corinthians 4:17
For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory.

Today’s crushing avalanche will be nothing more than a light mist in comparison to the eternal glory to be revealed in us. 

Even if we cannot see it right now, because our eyes are blurred by tears.

Keep Pressing,
Ken
 

Your new family and your new name

Building on what he established last time…that Christ is superior in both name (identity) and message, the author tells his readers:

Hebrews 2:1-3
We must therefore pay even more attention to what we have heard, so that we will not drift away.  For if the [previous] message spoken through angels was legally binding, and every transgression and disobedience received a just punishment, how will we escape if we neglect such a great salvation?

Greater value requires greater care.  We know this from our own lives – when something is of great value to us, we handle it differently then something we consider common or of low value.

Since Christ’s message is superior to all previous messages, even the ones delivered by angels, we are encouraged to give it the elevated level of attention it deserves.  The previous covenant between God and Israel contained severe punishments for Israel whenever they deviated and disobeyed either individually (they were excluded from the community, some received the death penalty) or disobeyed as a nation (they were inflicted with plagues, experienced military defeat, and even mass deportation from their homeland).  How much more serious will God be when those within the new covenant drift away and treat Christ’s message as something common or of low value?

But Christ’s superior message is more than a contract between two different parties:

Hebrews 2:11
For the One who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one Father.  That is why He is not ashamed to call them brothers

When an adoption occurs, the child enters the family and receives a new last name.  Therefore you share a last name with the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of [God’s] being (Hebrews 1:3).

You now belong to the “Holy” family.  Your brother is Jesus Holy.  As an example, instead of being Ken Clouser, my name has become Ken Holy.

Put your name in there.  Let it sink in.  Try saying it out loud.

How did you feel saying that?

If we paid more careful attention to this, I don’t believe we would drift away.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Knowing when to give assistance

There is no shortage of people who need help.  No matter what lies the health-and-wealth teachers may tell, there are poor people in our churches who need help.  Whether due to circumstances beyond their control, circumstances which they created, or some combination of the two…there are needs all around us.

But how do we decide, who gets help…or who possibly “deserves” it more than someone else?  I have a tough time figuring that out as an individual, but have we considered how our church should be responding to assistance requests?  Logistically speaking, our churches have bills to pay, too.  So, it’s unrealistic to expect that every single request for support can or will be met at 100%.

Resources vs Needs isn’t a new problem for the church, either.  Paul addressed it with Timothy regarding the needs of widows in the Ephesian church.  Widowhood was a serious situation for women in the ancient world, since they were not typically the direct heir of husband’s will, and income generating options were limited, at best.  Additionally, if the husband was poor, he may not have left much for his wife to live on.

Her needs would be more significant than a one-time pantry-stocking trip to the local grocery store.  So how was Timothy to handle this significant of a request for continual support?

1 Timothy 5:3-4
Support widows who are genuinely widows.  But if any widow has children or grandchildren, they should learn to practice their religion toward their own family first and to repay their parents, for this pleases God.

Timothy’s first step is to thoroughly check for family.  I almost find it humorous that Paul says “Support widows who are genuinely widows”.  First step is to verify that her husband is truly dead.  The second step is check for extended family, especially if they are believers.  If they’ve been adopted into God’s family, then they have no excuse to skip out on taking care of members of their earthly family.  There were no assisted living homes and no hospice care in the ancient world.  The family’s care for the widow is an act of worship and respect toward God, which He finds pleasing because their actions are a reflection of his own.

1 Timothy 5:5-7
The real widow, left all alone, has put her hope in God and continues night and day in her petitions and prayers; however, she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives.  Command this so that they won’t be blamed. 

The real widow, the one the church should consider helping is destitute and has no other family options.  In fact, she considers the church her last resort…notice that she goes to God directly and repeatedly before she approaches the church body with her need.

Paul also affirms that the widow’s lifestyle should be considered prior to giving assistance.  If she is living a self-indulgent lifestyle, then she probably won’t be wise with the funds the church may give her.  In this case, there are other issues to address that are greater than her immediate need.

Lastly, Paul gives an ominous warning:

1 Timothy 5:8
Now if anyone does not provide for his own relatives, and especially for his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Paul pulls no punches here, so let’s be as practical as possible:

If I have the resources to take care of my widowed mother, and I refuse to do so…which forces her to rely on support from the local church, using funds that should go to those who are genuinely in need…how is that not stealing from God? 

Clearly, this verse is addressed to believers, since the comparison is with an unbeliever.  So, denying the faith doesn’t mean that I would not be part of God’s family.  What it means is that I would be grossly hypocritical of the love and resources that God has extended to me.  God did not withhold His resources when I could not save myself.  How can I claim to be a part of His family and then have my actions deny the faith and relationship with God?  At least an unbeliever’s words and actions match up.  What damage am I doing to God’s reputation if I have no good reason to refuse to help?

Our application of this passage is two-fold:

If we have family members who are destitute, it is our responsibility to care for them – not the church’s.  This doesn’t mean we pay for all their bills each month, either.  “Destitute” means just that.  We should not be passing off our family’s financial burdens to our church family.

If the church is approached by an individual in great need, it is both acceptable and wise to evaluate the depth of that need.  It is also wise to evaluate the person’s lifestyle.  Financing someone’s irresponsibility is less loving than telling a person “No, we will not help you in this way”, especially if there are deeper needs to address.  If there are other avenues of help available, either through their family or other modern-day options, that is acceptable as well.

The problem of societal needs is not new.  However, we must be wise with how/when we support others.  Everything we do, whether we give assistance or refuse assistance, must be done within the context of reflecting God to others.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

The ultimate blended family

What am I going to do?

The feeling of being helpless is more familiar than any of us care to admit.

We’re in a situation, or given some information…and we just don’t know how to process it, let alone what our best next step will be.  It’s in those moments that we want to look to someone with more experience, someone to show us how to deal with what life has brought our way.

Paul knew that the believers in Ephesus would be looking to Timothy with those kinds of questions.  The city was a huge cultural and spiritual mish-mash, and Timothy’s mission was to provide guidance and support to those in the church family.  Knowing the challenges Timothy would face, Paul sent him a letter.  About halfway through, Paul explains his motivation for writing:

1 Timothy 3:14-15
I write these things to you, hoping to come to you soon.  But if I should be delayed, I have written so that you will know how people ought to act in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth.

Paul doesn’t know the future.  He has a strong desire to minister side-by-side with his protégé again…but just in case he is delayed, Paul made sure Timothy knew how to support the people in the church.

I love the way Paul described those people, too…I have written so that you will know how people ought to act in God’s household.  We’re all part of God’s household.  Not God’s business.  Not God’s club.  Not God’s military, or any other socially-structured group.  We’re all part of God’s family. 

Being a family is hard.  And we’re not necessarily good at being a family with those with whom we share blood ties and genetics…so how are we supposed to be a household when we weren’t even raised in similar contexts?

Those are the legitimate questions the Ephesian believers are going to be asking Timothy.  If you were in his place, how would you answer them?

Stop and think of an answer before moving on…the church is the ultimate example of a ‘blended family’…so how do we make this household actually function as a family?

Paul actually gives us the answer.  God’s household…is the church of the living God.  We don’t define us as a family – belonging to the living Creator of the Universe is what ties us together as a family.  God is our pillar and foundation of the truth. 

This is no small thing.  In fact, Paul goes on to say:

1 Timothy 3:16
And most certainly, the mystery of godliness is great:

The concept of being in God’s household is, in the Greek, a megas-mysterion.  It is so large, that it has to be explained to us before we can really understand it.  But why is it that way, why can’t it be easy to live as part of God’s household?

Interestingly enough, Paul then quotes a hymn reminding Timothy of the greatness of our Savior:

He was manifested in the flesh,
justified in the Spirit,
seen by angels,
preached among the Gentiles,
believed on in the world,
taken up in glory.

Since Christ is so unique among all other proposed gods that the world looks to…it makes sense that being part of God’s household would mean that, at times, we’ll need help figuring out what to do next.  But that’s why we have mentors, and why it’s so important for us to mentor others.

Being part of God’s household means that we are connected to each other in the deepest, most unique way possible…it’s not always easy to be family…but it is who He created us to be.

Keep Pressing,
Ken
 

What a leader should NOT be

When it comes to choosing the person who will manage the overall activities of the church family, Paul listed qualities an overseer should have – as well as some qualities an overseer should definitely not have.

1 Timothy 3:2-5
An overseer, therefore, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, self-controlled, sensible, respectable, hospitable, an able teacher, not addicted to wine, not a bully but gentle, not quarrelsome, not greedy…

One way to understand the importance of each of these not characteristics is to consider what it would be like if our leaders actually had these qualities:

not addicted to wine – Notice Paul doesn’t say “thou shalt not drink”.  Instead, Paul wants Timothy to ensure that the prospective overseer does not allow himself to be controlled by alcohol.  The line between appropriately handling and not appropriately handling varies from person to person.  Does he “need a drink” every time stress starts to build?  If he is regularly turning to alcohol for comfort, escape, or pleasure…then this is a huge warning flag.  Think of the damage a man with this addiction in an overseer position would do.  Personal and private issues would eventually become public incidents – divorce, DUI, financial disaster.  There is room in God’s family for anyone dealing alcohol and with the problems it can cause.  However, while they are being dealt with, that person should not be leading a congregation.

not a bully – We’ve seen this in other areas of life.  Someone is really successful at “getting the job done”, but when you look beneath surface, you find that they stepped all over people to actually get the job done.  Several times in His ministry, Christ said that the greatest in His kingdom was the one who was the servant of all (see Matthew 23:11, Luke 22:26).  As such, there is no place in leadership of God’s family for someone who physically intimidates others, is always ready for a fight, or who treats others belligerently.  An overseer is there to guide and direct others toward Jesus.  Since Jesus never led way, a church leader has no excuse to do so, either.

not quarrelsome – In addition to telling Timothy to avoid appointing leadership to someone who relies on being physically intimidating, Paul also tells Timothy to watch out for those who are verbally intimidating.  Does he love arguments because he relishes to chance to prove someone else is wrong?  Is he always on the defensive?  It’s impossible to lead others toward the God who loves them if the one leading them does not speak out of love toward them.

not greedy – Greed cuts into the attitude of both the poor and the rich.  It is a consuming desire for what you don’t have.  This is probably the most common visible vice for those in church leadership.  The low hanging fruit is to make sure that they are not lovers of money and not materialistic.  However, Paul doesn’t limit their greed to money here…greed could manifest itself in other ways, in their desire for authoritative power, or increased church attendance, or in the approval from people.

When we begin to breakdown Paul’s list, we find that these qualifications are rather exhaustive and to find all of these characteristics in one man might even be difficult.  However, I believe that is Paul’s point.  Look at how he finishes the qualification list:

1 Timothy 3:2-5
An overseer, therefore, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, self-controlled, sensible, respectable, hospitable, an able teacher, not addicted to wine, not a bully but gentle, not quarrelsome, not greedy – one who manages his own household competently having his children under control with all dignity. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of God’s church?)

A man’s family is his proving ground.  Since the church family is made up of our individual families, the same kind of leadership is needed at the church-level.  If I cannot handle my family of four…then I should not expect to be able to oversee 40 other families.  Paul knew that any one of these not characteristics had the potential to inflict severe damage to an individual family, and the damage would only be magnified when they crop up in church leadership.  Timothy had to be careful in who he selected for the job.

Keep Pressing,
Ken
 

The motivation for everything

This might be a strange thought, but not every Christian will live out a Christ-focused life in the same way.  Even if we recognize this truth, we often have specific expectations (typically patterned after our own journey) of what “mature Christian behavior” should look like.  The truth of the matter is that it would be rather shallow of us to expect everyone to be “as spiritual” or be “as holy” in the identical manner that God is currently leading us in.  Maybe someone is behind us in development.  Maybe, just maybe…someone else could be ahead of us.

Think about our own families – our parents poured themselves into us and our siblings.  However, due to our varying ages and on-going development, the same efforts of our parents ended up producing very different adult people.  The expectations of behavior placed on the oldest child were often not even subjects that were being taught to the younger children.  Rarely was the same life lesson taught in the same manner to each child.  The specifics of these life-living lessons were tailored to where the child was at the particular moment.

However, the principles of the family were the same among the children.  Many of the stories and traditions of the family were the same as previous generations – stories of love, and loyalty, and bravery and the events of previous years.  You could see the family traits in the people around you, but they all exhibited them in different ways.

The same holds true for the family of God.  There is a common tie that binds us together – the incredible story of God leaving the glory and perfection of Heaven to rescue us from our selfish, sin-soaked mess.  However, as His story becomes part of our story…His character is revealed through us in a variety of ways.

As Paul continues to explain to the Colossian believers how God’s family works together and encourages one another with the message about the Messiah, take note of the guiding principle for how that message is to affect their lives and maturity:

Colossians 3:16-17
Let the message about the Messiah dwell richly among you, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, and singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, with gratitude in your hearts to God.  And whatever you do in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Instead of laying out a 12 point plan for maturity, Paul wants the believers to recognize that everything is to be done in the name of the Lord Jesus.  Doing anything “in someone’s name” means that we are their representative or ambassador.  We know that our manners and conduct reflect back on Jesus, and we also know that we’ll eventually have to give an account for how well we represent Him.  Whatever you do in word or in deed – that phrase pretty much covers it all, doesn’t it?

Paul’s direction is broad enough that there’s no technicality for us to escape it.  The broad-ness also allows for a wide-variety of expressions.  Take, for example, that in these two verses Paul says we are to have gratitude and we are to give thanks.  While that is a specific direction, how exactly shall we give thanks?  We could give thanks through prayer, with tears, with spoken words, with silent reverence, with charitable actions, or many other ways. 

Too often we get hung up on measuring a Christian’s maturity by looking at the things he or she does.  However, God looks beyond those things and evaluates our maturity based upon our motivations.

Colossians 3:17
And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.

Keep Pressing,
Ken