I know what that's like

We are relational beings.  We have an innate desire to connect and relate to others.  Even for those of us who claim “I don’t like people” or that “I’m happier to be alone”, if we’re honest, we’re more interested in managing the who/when/where of interacting with others than we are looking to cut off all connections with the rest of humanity.

Relationships are built on similarities.  When we first meet someone, the purpose of our early conversation is to probe for connection points: What kind of work do you do?  Are you married?  Do you have any kids?  Have you lived here long?  Where did you live previously?  What school did you go to?  What sports teams do you cheer for?  How do you spend your spare time?

As soon as they mention a similarity, we jump in with a “Me, too!”. 

Early on in any relationship (be it romantic, friendship, coworker, etc.), the similarities we acknowledge are typically positive ones.  While sports teams and having same-aged children are common points of connection, any life event can become something that builds a relationship.  Interviewing and getting a new job, purchasing a car, and going back to school are all experiences that others have had.  These are situations were we can reach out and relate to someone else, either for advice or just to talk through the situation, because we know they’ve been through it before.

However, the deeper a relationship goes, the more likely we are willing to share the “Me, too’s” of life’s painful situations. 

·       When a family member gets cancer, you’re grateful for everyone who is empathetic and offers to pray, but how much more comforting is it when that one friend says, “I’ve been there”?

·       When your child is struggling at school, the failed assignments keep piling up, and the stress level in your home continues to climb, how relieving is it to hear, “When my child was in that grade, we went through the same thing”?

·       When there’s a death in the family, especially your immediate family, the condolences offered take on a different meaning when the person offering sympathy has lost the same loved one in their own family.

In the difficult moments, the experience of others is what can keep us going and help us get through.  Other coping mechanisms aren’t anywhere near as helpful as being able to relate with another human who has had similar experiences.  Finding others with similar stories doesn’t necessarily fix the problem, but it brings a level of comfort that you can’t find in positive self-talk, escapism, or distractions.

The Apostle Paul talked about this kind of relationship sharing in his letter to the believers in Corinth:

2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort.  He comforts us in all our affliction…

Now, these verses would have been perfectly fine if Paul had stopped here.  The promise that God would comfort us in all our affliction is one that we can gladly take to the bank.  This promise does not mean that God will always remove us from our difficult situation, but it does mean that He will be with us as we live through it.

While it would be good news with just this statement alone, Paul continued:

He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

Do you see?  Our pain has a purpose.

Too many of us want to avoid pain at all costs.  If it cannot be avoided outright, then we try to escape as soon as possible, or even drown the pain with some opposite pleasure.

But the cure for pain isn’t pleasure, it’s purpose.

As God provides comfort for us as we go through life’s storms, our experience becomes a resource that we can then share with others.  The God of all comfort gives us consolation, reassurance, and hope as we deal with all our afflictions…and through these difficult circumstances, He provides an example for us to later give that same comfort to others.

One last critical observation – notice that the comfort God provides will enable us to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction.  The important word to notice is the word any.  We don’t have to have an identical “Me, too” in order to provide consolation, reassurance, and hope to others.

But we must be willing to share the stuff we’ve gone through, the difficulties we’ve faced, and the comfort God provided during those times.  Doing so gives purpose to our pain, and God’s comfort to those who need it.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Relating Jesus to others

Some people are hard to reach out to.  They do their best to go through life unseen, or else they give off a vibe that screams “Leave me alone!”.  People who are treated as outcasts by society or those who view themselves as outcasts do not expect to be interacted with.  And while they may not initiate spiritual conversations, that doesn’t mean we cannot relate to them.

John 4:7-9
A woman of Samaria came to draw water.
“Give Me a drink,” Jesus said to her, because His disciples had gone into town to buy food.
“How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?” she asked Him.  For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.

The normal prejudices of Jesus’ day prohibited public conversation between men and women, between Jews and Samaritans, and especially between strangers.  A Jewish Rabbi would rather go thirsty than violate these social boundaries.

That may sound absurd to us today, but in Bible times this was a serious etiquette predicament.  By asking this woman for a drink, Jesus is breaking all rules of Jewish piety and He also opens Himself to a charge of acting in a flirtatious manner.  Wait…flirting, really?  Well, you may recall that Israel’s patriarchs Isaac and Jacob found their prospective wives at wells.  Talking with an unfamiliar Samaritan woman was no small event, which is why she was so taken aback when Jesus started the conversation.  However, He does not let her surprise derail the conversation:

John 4:10
Jesus answered, “If you knew the gift of God, and Who is saying to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would ask Him, and He would give you living water.”

Jesus identifies Himself as the gift of God.  Someone living in Samaria would have been a bit isolated from the happenings around Jesus’ ministry among the Jews.  At best, she may have heard some travelers talking about it.  Add in the limited knowledge of the Samaritans’ religion (since the only part of the Old Testament they used were the first five books), and it is understandable that she was unaware of who was talking with her.  She was did not know that God had given all of humanity an incredible gift.

In the previous chapter, John records Jesus explaining God’s gift this way:

John 3:16
For God loved the world in this way: He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

God loved…so God gave…which means Jesus accurately described Himself to the Samaritan woman as the gift of God.  Although Jesus was able to cut to the chase and present the entire gospel message to Nicodemus in John 3:16, Jesus takes a slower approach with her. 

This isn’t a man vs. woman thing, either.  There were significant differences between these two situations, even though Jesus is revealing who He is to both of them.  Nicodemus came to Jesus – Jesus approached the woman.  It was culturally expected that Jesus would discuss theology with another man – it was culturally unexpected that Jesus would discuss anything with a Samaritan woman.  Because he was immersed in Jewish law and God’s scriptures, Nicodemus had a base-level understanding of what the Messiah would be like – she only looked forward to the prophet Moses predicted. 

Jesus’ good news discussion – about Himself – isn’t the same in both conversations, either.  Instead, Jesus uses their immediate, relatable surroundings to communicate the truth of who He is to the Samaritan woman.

From Jesus’ example, we see that there isn’t just one way to present the gospel of who Jesus is.  As long as our message is focused on Him and the simplicity of believing in Him for eternal life, we are free to approach anyone however we can relate to them.

Keep Pressing,
Ken