Keep your mouth shut

One of my first jobs was in an environmental testing lab, and, for a time, there were three of us working together in the small sample preparation room.  Due to the equipment all around the room, there was always a steady background noise.  Although we got used to hearing the ambient noise, it did tend to make conversations across the room a little difficult.

One day, I was working on one side of the room while my two co-workers were on the other side.  They were having a causal conversation about something, but I could only hear bits and pieces of what they were saying.  From what I could gather, they were talking about a certain painter, but it was someone who typically did not come up in day-to-day conversation. 

Wanting to somehow insert myself into the conversation so I could also participate, I called across the room, “Hey, didn’t they make a movie about him recently?”.  They both turned to look at me with blank, yet irritated expressions.  After a few moments’ pause (which felt like forever), one of them said to me, “That’s literally what was said like five minutes ago.”  I felt foolish for forcing my way in to their conversation, and I had added nothing to it.  They turned their backs toward me and continued their discussion.  I knew in that moment, I should have just kept my mouth shut.

Figuring out when to speak and when to stay silent is a good lesson to learn when you’re young and starting out in your career.  However, the same desire to insert yourself into conversations or moments can sneak back in, even in things we are confident with.  For example, I like to teach.  It’s one of the reasons why I write this blog.  But as much as I like to teach through writing, there is something special when I get to teach others in a live setting.  I really enjoy watching as the light bulb of peoples’ minds turn on.  Sometimes it’s an instant “AHA!”; other times it’s like a dimmer switch gradually increasing, until they finally grasp what has been communicated to them.

Watching as God brings His light to others and getting to participate in the process is one of my favorite things.  It’s how God has gifted me, and it’s so good to work in the areas that He has gifted us.  But when it’s someone else doing the teaching?  It’s really hard not to jump into the conversation so that I (as a fellow teacher, of course) can “help”. 

Does this sound familiar?  If so, then perhaps we can take tip from Jesus’ disciples:

Before Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well, He had sent His disciples into town to buy food.  They were not there when Jesus initiated the conversation with the woman.  They didn’t know that Jesus spoke about her failed marriages and sinful living arrangements.  They had not heard her question about worship or when Jesus’ offered her eternal life.  In fact, the text indicates that the disciples arrived right after Jesus revealed Himself as the Messiah.

John 4:27
Just then His disciples arrived, and they were amazed that He was talking with a woman.  Yet no one said, “What do you want?” or “Why are you talking with her?”

Although it was taboo – and borderline scandalous – in the customs of Jewish society for Jesus to talk to any woman, let alone a Samaritan woman, the disciples did not openly question Jesus or the woman.  They knew and respected Jesus enough to not question either person.  Even Peter, who stuck his foot in his mouth on several occasions, was silent…

There wasn’t anything the disciples could have added to the conversation.  The teacher had already taught enough for the student to process.  Any additional points or ignorant questions about the situation could have completely derailed the Samaritan woman’s thought process.  Thankfully, all 12 of the disciples observed the situation and came the same conclusion:

They realized it was best, in this moment, to keep their mouths shut.

When walking into someone else’s conversation, especially a spiritual conversation, it’s often best to stay silent.  Even if we want to add something.  Even if we think we can “help”.  Crashing the conversation with our own questions/accusations/comments will have a bigger chance of derailing what God is doing instead of enhancing it.

Perhaps they (and God) don’t need our input at this particular time.  Maybe they will invite us into the conversation or ask us a question.  If that happens, then by all means, jump in and help as best as you know how. 

So let’s trust God not only with our words, but also with our silence.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

She didn't get it

Jesus is making the Samaritan woman an incredible, no-strings-attached offer:

John 4:13-15
Jesus said, “Everyone who drinks from this water will get thirsty again.  But whoever drinks from the water that I will give him will never get thirsty again.  In fact, the water I will give him will become a well of water springing up in him for eternal life.”
“Sir,” the woman said to Him, “give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and come here to draw water.”

She wants Jesus’ living water for 2 reasons:
·       so she won’t get physically thirsty again
·       so she won’t have to come to the well to draw water

She didn’t get it.  She didn’t catch that Jesus’ metaphor was about giving her eternal life.  He wasn’t talking about physical thirst.  However, Jesus doesn’t get upset with her for not immediately grabbing on to spiritual truths.  Instead, He goes on to address her real thirst problem:

John 4:16-19
“Go call your husband,” He told her, “and come back here.”
“I don’t have a husband,” she answered.
“You have correctly said, ‘I don’t have a husband,’” Jesus said.  “For you’ve had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband.  What you have said is true.”
“Sir,” the woman replied, “I see that you are a prophet.”

I find this portion of their dialogue border-line hilarious: I see that you are a prophet.  What an understatement!  But let’s step into her sandals for a moment.  The re-occurring fault in her life was just called out by a complete stranger.  This part of her life is very likely why she comes to the well alone and at the hottest part of the day – to avoid the all-too-knowing glances of others in her community.  A relationship history that included five husbands plus another lover would raise eyebrows in our modern society…but in ancient times?  Practically unthinkable. 

Broken relationships are not a new, modern problem – she’d had many husbands and was now living with someone else (either that, or she has a relationship with someone else’s husband…).  And yet…don’t miss this…Jesus knows this about her and still offers her eternal life.

But why does Jesus tell her to go get her husband?  It seems kind of random in the story.  The request doesn’t appear to fit the conversation to this point.  However, we need to keep in mind the historical context:

From Dr. Constable’s online notes:
Jesus’ instruction to call her husband was proper, because if He was really going to give her something valuable, her husband needed to be present.  This was necessary to avoid any misunderstanding about the reason for the gift – especially in view of Samaritan/Jewish tensions…The woman wanted Jesus’ gift, so she admitted that she had “no husband.”  She probably hoped that He would now give it to her.  Instead, however, Jesus gave her a shocking revelation.  He knew about her marital relations intimately, but He related what He knew tastefully.  He commended her twice for telling the truth about her present marital status, but He also unmasked her past.

While she’s still focused on quenching her physical thirst, Jesus shows her that she’s been looking to the wrong wells for intimacy, and that His living water will satisfy her deepest need.  By asking for her husband, Jesus shifts gears to her personal relationship situation.  Jesus did not ignore her sin, but He gently pointed out that her life choices have still left her thirsty.  Her real thirst is for relationship (see Eve’s curse, Genesis 3:16) and she’s been trying to quench it through intimacy with multiple men.

Sometimes God tries to talk with us about spiritual, real-life things, and, like the Samaritan woman, we don’t get it.  We tend to stay focused on our physical needs.  But thankfully, He is patient with us.  Even though it may sting, God reveals how we’ve been trying to fill our deepest need with people or things that do not satisfy…but then He offers to fulfill that desire with Himself.

Keep Pressing,
Ken