It was just a simple wave

We don’t have a fenced-in yard, so for our dog to get his energy out, we need to walk him twice a day.  We don’t mind doing so, because it gets us out of the house and moving, too.  Our neighborhood doesn’t have any sidewalks, but it’s safe enough to walk along the outer edge of the street.  Generally speaking, when cars approach us, they slow down and give us space…but there have been times when people are going too fast and not paying close attention, and I get a little nervous about potentially jumping up into someone’s yard to avoid being hit.

So about a year ago, I came up with a simple step to help the drivers notice us as we walk along the road – as they got close, I’d raise my hand and give a little wave.  Honestly, my initial thought was that the movement would help them see us and give a little extra room, as if my wave was saying “hey…we’re walking here…please don’t hit us!” I typically mouth the words “Thank you” as they pass by, because, well…I appreciate not being hit.

But after a while, something unexpected happened – people started waving back.  And now it’s kinda become a thing.  We smile and wave at the cars that pass by…and I can see a lot of people smiling and waving back, especially kids and passengers.  There’s a pond near our home with a short walking path around it, and there have been times when people in cars would spot us on the pond path and still wave at us, even though we weren’t on the road.  Which means…if you think about it…they’re actively looking for us, and they’re happy to see us.

I don’t think I’m over-stating or embellishing to say that our waving has made an impact for some people.  I can see the look on their faces when they wave at us – maybe we’re the only friendly face they saw today, maybe they find it comforting to know that they always get a smile and wave from us, or maybe they haven’t heard someone tell them “Thank you” in a while. 

While the vast majority of the New Testament was written to believers, telling them how to live in light of their new identity in Christ, many of the authors also addressed how we should act toward those who are not Christians.  Here are just two examples from the Apostle Paul’s writings:

Galatians 6:10
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us work for the good of all, especially for those who belong to the household of faith.

Colossians 4:5-6
Act wisely toward outsiders, making the most of the time.  Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person.

Whatever good our neighbors are receiving from us while we walk, we’re happy to keep giving it.  We have met a number of people in our neighborhood simply because of our dog.  He’s super friendly and an easy connection point to help bridge the conversation gap between strangers. 

As we go about the busyness of our day – gotta go to work, gotta run the errands, gotta walk the dog – let’s not get so hyper-focused on our own agenda that we forget to do work for the good of all around us and make the most of our time.  Doing good work doesn’t have to be some massive community project, it can be a simple “Thank you” and a smile.  People are desperate for warmth in this cold world, so let’s be the ones to show them the warmth that comes from the Light of the World that lives inside us.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I was a bad neighbor. And I was embarrassed.

I was convinced that he saw me as a bad neighbor.  At least, I was pretty sure it was him. 

A few weeks ago, my wife and I were preparing our house to host a barbeque for a group of friends.  We had the typical “get ready for company” agenda: clean this, find a new place for that, make room for additional seating, buy last minute items.  We weren’t 100% sure what the weather would be like, and there was a strong possibility that we’d be spending time outside.  Let’s just say that I had let the outside upkeep chores slide a little bit over the previous month or two. 

So the day before the party, I was outside pulling weeds, trimming bushes, and weed-whacking all the hard-to-mow spots.  One chore I had put off for a while was trimming the grass that had grown up over the curb.  We live on a corner lot in our neighborhood, and one side had grown over quite a bit.  I didn’t realize how much until I started going at it with the weed-whacker.  It took some time and a fair bit of trimmer line to get that side shored up.  It was a mess, too.  I’m glad I was wearing jeans and safety glasses, because stuff was blown everywhere.

I went back to the garage and got distracted with something else.  I cleaned up the tools I had left around the yard and went on to some other chore.  Just before I went back inside, I thought, “Do I need to clean up the trimmings from the curb?  Nah, it’s just little stuff.  It’ll blow away.”  I then went on with my day, getting other parts of the house ready for the party.

The next morning I got up and took our dog out early for a walk.  As we turned the corner, I didn’t see many of the trimmings in the road…instead, there were four or five piles of trimmings placed back in our lawn.  I internally groaned, “Oh no.  Someone cleaned up after me and put them back where I’d be sure to see them.  I bet they were cussing me out the whole time they were scooping these things up.  Way to make the neighborhood look bad.  Jerk can’t even pick up after himself.”  The most likely person to do this would be my neighbor across the street.  We’ve barely talked over the years, so I’m not sure of his attitude or opinion of me.  He’s never been unfriendly, but we haven’t been friends.  Feeling completely embarrassed, after I finished walking our dog, I cleaned up the piles and then hosted the party that afternoon.

Throughout the days that followed, I wondered how much I had made him mad.  I wondered if he held a grudge or at least thought less of me as his neighbor.  It seems a bit silly as I type this out, but I mentally beat myself up over this.  I felt embarrassed each time I walked our dog past his house, thinking things like: The trimmings weren’t small.  I should have remembered better.  Or, at least I should have checked before going back inside.  Why was I so selfish thinking it was ok to leave them?  How could I leave a mess for someone else to clean up?

About two weeks after the party, I was walking our dog and my neighbor happened to be outside.  Swallowing my pride, I flagged him down.  I asked if he was the one who put the trimmings back in my yard.  He said that he had.  I apologized for leaving such a mess, and that I had spent these weeks assuming that he believed he had a jerk for a neighbor.  To my surprise, he smiled and said, “Oh no, I was just trying to help you.  I’ve gotten a letter before from our HOA about my lawn growing over the curb and didn’t want you to get a letter, either.  I just do what I can to help keep our neighborhood cleaned up.”  He then extended his hand to shake mine, showing that he had no hard feelings.  While shaking his hand, I realized that I had been completely wrong about his motives and attitude. 

In Paul’s first letter to the believers in Corinth, chapter 13 is famously known as “The Love Chapter.”  We’re all familiar with the love is patient, love is kind phrases that begin a long list of what love is and what love isn’t.  However, in the middle of the chapter is a verse that often trips people up:

1 Corinthians 13:7
[Love] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

It’s the believes all things part that seems confusing.  Other translations render the phrase as trusts all things – and that kinda helps, but it kinda doesn’t.  A helpful explanation is found in the Holman New Testament Commentary:

Perhaps this characteristic of love is best expressed in contemporary English idiom as: “Love gives the benefit of the doubt.”  Suspicion and doubt toward others do not indicate affection or love.  On the contrary, when someone loves with Christlike love, he entrusts himself to the persons he loves time and again.  Still, love does not demand that a person trust even when the basis for trust has been destroyed.  Love does not give the “benefit” when there is no “doubt.”  In these circumstances trust is folly.  Yet, the general practice of those who love is to trust the good intentions of others as much as possible.

I had spent those two weeks doing the opposite of loving my neighbor.  My neighbor has never given me any reason to think he would be hostile or mad at me, but it didn’t even cross my mind that he could actually be trying to help me.  All the tension I felt between us was caused by my embarrassed feelings and imagination…because I didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt.

It’s just another step for me to learn how to love my neighbor as myself.  I hope you’re taking those steps, too.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: truly generous

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that can get muddied up during the Christmas season: generosity.

The gift giving traditions of the Christmas season will often bring the topic of generosity into focus.  However, we can all admit that the hustle and bustle makes it easy to think of generosity as no more than a ritual where various plastic items and shiny things are given and received.  Successfully navigating the parties, gift exchanges, and the ever-looming Christmas morning quickly becomes an exercise in trying to find the perfect plastic or shiny object to “generously” show our affection and care.

Now, I love to give good gifts.  I also love to receive good gifts.  But when we look at Solomon’s wisdom about generosity in the book of Proverbs, we don’t see much in terms of a gift exchange.  Our first proverb looks at what we already have, no need to go shopping:

Proverbs 3:27
When it is in your power, don’t withhold good from the one to whom it belongs.
Don’t say to your neighbor, “Go away!  Come back later.  I’ll give it tomorrow” – when it is there with you.

Putting someone off is the opposite of being generous.  If we have the ability and capacity to do good – especially to your neighbor – then let’s hop to it!  Providing good in the moment it’s needed is not only generous, but shows how much you value your neighbor and their well-being.  We can easily detect when someone is putting us off, especially when we could use their help.  Let’s not put others in that situation.  Let’s be known for our timely generosity.

Our second proverb almost reads like a contradiction to our instincts:

Proverbs 11:24
One person gives freely, yet gains more;
another withholds what is right, only to become poor.

How in the world can you “gain more” if you’re always giving it away?  And if I keep my hard-earned money, it sure doesn’t seem like I will become poor.  This proverb doesn’t make sense, from a materialistic point of view.  And yet…it’s been my experience that the most generous Christians always seem to have the means to be generous, and those of us who get Scroogey with what God has given us ends up losing it somehow.

Our third proverb is the very next verse, which continues the thought:

Proverbs 11:25
A generous person will be enriched,
and the one who gives a drink of water will receive water.

If you take the larger view, that what you gain from giving generously isn’t only money, then these two proverbs open us up to a whole new realm of possibility.  Here is a short list of how we will be enriched when we choose to give freely: we meet someone’s need, we express compassion, we form a new connection, we strengthen relationships, and we affirm God’s others-focused priorities.  When we are miserly and withhold what is right, we gain none of those. 

Our last proverb points us to a practical place to start being generous:

Proverbs 28:27
The one who gives to the poor will not be in need,
but one who turns his eyes away will receive many curses.

Once again, when we read “the poor”, our immediate thought goes to how much money another person doesn’t have.  There are many in financial distress that could use some relief; however, we often turn our eyes away and justify doing so by pledging to give more when we are in a “better financial position” to do so.  But…there are many ways to meet the needs of “the poor”, i.e. – someone who has less than you: less skills, less opportunity, less education, less awareness of God’s love.  Don’t let your own financial situation prevent you from sharing in the places you are rich.

Based on Solomon’s proverbs, our capacity for generosity is more about our willingness to share what we have than it is about what we are able to go out and buy.

Keep Pressing,
Ken