Pausing on unexpected prosperity

There are many examples and proverbs in the Bible which teach that hard work often results in wealth and opportunity.  While there’s nothing wrong with having money, God doesn’t want us to just ask for prosperity so we can accumulate money and stuff.  Even Jesus’ brother James warned against doing so (James 4:3).   

Sometimes, however, wealth is just dropped in our laps: A relative dies and leaves you a large sum of money.  Your job gives an unexpected bonus to you and your coworkers.  You might win a raffle that you had forgotten you entered.  What are we to do in those situations?

Let’s go back to when Jesus was born.  Joseph and Mary were poor, simple people.  They didn’t have great wealth.  Due to Caesar’s decree, they had to go to Bethlehem to be registered as part of the census.  Jesus was born in a Bethlehem barn, and on that night both angels and shepherds rejoiced.  But sometime later, others arrived looking for Him:

Matthew 2:1-2
After Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of King Herod, wise men from the east arrived in Jerusalem, saying, “Where is he who has been born king of the Jews?  For we saw his star at its rising and have come to worship him.”

Apparently, no one in Jerusalem was wise enough to notice this star-rising event, because the whole city was “deeply disturbed” by the wise men’s question.  King Herod even held a secret meeting with the wise men to discover when the star appeared.  He also told them to report back after they found this new king, claiming that he, too, wanted to “worship” the child.

Matthew 2:9-11
After hearing the king, they went on their way.  And there it was – the star they had seen at its rising.  It led them until it came and stopped above the place where the child was.  When they saw the star, they were overwhelmed with joy.  Entering the house, they saw the child with Mary his mother, and falling to their knees, they worshiped him.  Then they opened their treasures and presented him with gifts: gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

Let’s pause right here for a moment and look at this situation from Joseph and Mary’s perspective.  It was a normal day.  They were doing normal, everyday things…like taking care of a child, planning meals, doing work…and then, completely unannounced, a caravan arrives at their doorstep. 

Come to think of it, the wise men probably arrived at some time during the night or even very early morning.  I mean, when else are they going to be led by star-light?  (not during the day…)  But whenever they arrived, no one was expecting them.  God had spoken to both Mary and Joseph about Who Jesus was and what he would do, but the worship and celebration by foreign strangers would have been quite a shock!

And to top it all off – they brought gifts!  Not just any baby shower gifts, either.  While we don’t know exactly how much gold, frankincense, and myrrh they gave…I think it’s safe to assume it wasn’t a small amount.  In the ancient world, these gifts were given lavishly at the birth of a new king.  These items were not trinkets, they were highly valued at this point in history.  Notice, too, how Matthew describes the scene…he states that they opened their treasures to take these gifts out.

Seemingly out of nowhere, the family’s financial situation changed.  An unexpected windfall had come to them.  After the Magi left, can you imagine the scene at the house?  Stunned silence, followed by ‘I can’t believe what just happened!’.  And now they have these rich items just sitting there, in their home.  What should they do next?

For the next part of the story, we pick up in verse 13.  However, what we don’t know is how much time passed between when the wise men left and when these next events occur.  It could have been the next night, a few days later, or even longer.  But for at least that first night, Joseph and Mary went to bed wondering what to do with these expensive gifts.  And then…

Matthew 2:13-15
After they [the wise men] were gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying “Get up!  Take the child and his mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I tell you.  For Herod is about to search for the child to kill him.”  So he got up, took the child and his mother during the night, and escaped to Egypt.  He stayed there until Herod’s death, so that what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet might be fulfilled: Out of Egypt I called my Son.

Without warning, the family had hundreds of miles to travel.  Without warning, there were unexpected expenses…but funds had already been provided, through an unexpected gift.  They likely had no idea that King Herod was coming for them.  Because of the angel’s warning, Joseph suddenly uprooted and moved the family.

By pausing at the in-between moment – between receiving the gifts and the angel’s news – we can appreciate the tension Joseph and Mary must have felt.  They were just living their lives.  They didn’t know the next verse.  They had no idea that a major life upheaval was just around the corner.

What would we do if God randomly blessed us?  Immediately by a new car?  Take the vacation we’ve been putting off?  Pay off some bills?  Any of these choices could be good, in the proper context…but Joseph and Mary’s story shows us something that we need to consider.  We’re so used to getting into a crisis and asking God to fix it that we tend to forget that sometimes God prepares us financially before the need arises.

So if unexpected money shows up – a bonus, a raffle, a settlement, an inheritance – don’t give into the immediate urge to spend on something shiny.  God may have a different purpose on the horizon. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Pausing in the bitter moments

When we read the Bible, we have a tendency to read it too fast.  This happens a lot when reading the accounts of Jesus and His disciples or during any narrative portion of Scripture recounting historical actions and conversations.  Due to familiarity with the text and that we know where the story is going next, we run the risk of glossing over important details and poignant moments.  We forget that for the people we are reading about, this was once real life.  They weren’t privy to the next verse.  They were living their lives day-to-day, just like you and I do.

The moment I want to pause at is found in Matthew 26.  Early in the chapter, Jesus has His Last Supper with His disciples, and He revealed that one of them was going to betray Him.  As expected, everyone wanted to know who it was (especially making sure it wasn’t them!).  Later, when they are at the Mount of Olives, Jesus revealed even more of what was coming:

Matthew 26:31-35
Then Jesus said to them, “Tonight all of you will fall away because of me, for it is written:
I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.
But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you to Galilee.”

Peter told Him, “Even if everyone falls away because of you, I will never fall away.”
“Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to him, “tonight, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.”
“Even if I have to die with you,” Peter told Him, “I will never deny you,” and all the disciples said the same thing.

Peter said this, but everyone else took the same vow.  Next, Jesus went to the garden of Gethsemane to pray.  You can read what He prayed in John 17, but the detail to note here is that Jesus separated from His disciples to pray…but took Peter, James, and John with Him.  He wanted to be with those He was closest to in His final hours.  Jesus asked that the three of them stay awake and pray while He wrestled with what God the Father would have Him do next.  But when He came back to them, they were asleep.  Waking them up, He specifically asked Peter – the one who promised undying support – “So, couldn’t you stay awake with me one hour?”  Jesus went back to pray and the scene played out two more times.  They couldn’t stay awake, despite Jesus’ need.  For a total of three times, Jesus’ inner circle failed Him this way.

Then Judas – the betrayer disciple – came to the garden with mob carrying swords and clubs.  When they took hold of Jesus, Peter drew his sword and hit a guy hard enough to whack off his ear.  But Jesus responded: “Put your sword back in its place because all who take up the sword will perish by the sword.  Or do you think that I cannot call on my Father, and He will provide me here and now with more than twelve legions of angels?  How then, would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen this way?”  At this point, all the disciples deserted Him and ran away.

Peter escaped the arresting mob, but then hung back and followed them at a distance as they took Jesus to the high priest.  Peter was able to get inside the courtyard, but could go no further.  In Jerusalem, he was a fish out of water.  Peter was a rough fisherman from up north, in Galilee; and the sophisticated Jews of the south considered Galileans to be crude, unrefined hicks.  Peter would have to wait outside and among strangers to find out any news.  This is where we pick up the story:

Matthew 26:69-75
Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard.  A servant girl approached him and said, “You were with Jesus the Galilean too.”
But he denied it in front of everyone: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
When he had gone out to the gateway, another woman saw him and told those who were there, “This man was with Jesus the Nazarene!”
And again he denied it with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”
After a little while those standing there approached and said to Peter, “You really are one of them, since even your accent gives you away.”
Then he started to curse and to swear with an oath, “I don’t know the man!”  Immediately a rooster crowed, and Peter remembered the words Jesus had spoken, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.”  And he went outside and wept bitterly.

He wept bitterly.  Pause right there.  Put yourself in Peter’s sandals for a moment.  He had followed Jesus for 3+ years.  Peter was part of Jesus’ inner circle and the de facto leader of the disciples.  Just a few hours ago, he made a vow on his life that he would never deny who Jesus was and what He meant to him.  But what’s happened since Peter made that adamant vow?  Jesus rebuked him on three separate occasions…and then Peter vehemently denied even knowing who Jesus was – three times, just as Jesus predicted!  The last denial was a complete opposite of the vow he made to Jesus.  Don’t sugar-coat this part.  Him “cursing and swearing an oath” would have come across as something like: May God strike me dead if I’m lying, I don’t $%#@ know the man!  As soon as he said these words, the rooster crowed…

Don’t move on in the text just yet.  Stop and feel Peter’s shame.  Remember what it’s like to completely fail someone you love.  Over the last several hours, every action Peter took and every word Peter spoke was wrong.  He failed, spectacularly.  And as far as Peter can see, there is no chance for apology or restoration.  Peter is stuck, alone, and utterly disgusted with himself.  Now…we understand his bitter tears.

We have moments in life like Peter’s.  We’ve blown it so big that we don’t know how life can go on.  But just because Peter didn’t know the next verse doesn’t mean he would forever live in that shame-filled moment.  As we continue to read the Scriptures, we find that Jesus did restore Peter (John 21:15-19). 

By pausing and identifying with this part of Peter’s story, we find that it is an example – God can restore us, just like He restored Peter.  Even when the bitter tears we cry are completely our fault. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - Walk this way

We desire practical application. Learning new things is great…but our new knowledge isn’t useful until it is put into practice. Long-term investments are good…but only if there is a payout in the end. We also see this desire for practical application as we raise our children…we hope and pray that our parenting efforts produce healthy adults.

But when the “win” is achieved, who gets the credit?

Walk this way
originally posted on July 17, 2015

Spiritual gifts are meant to have physical impact.  God doesn’t give us grace, peace, wisdom, etc so that we can sit back and be comfortable.  Paul demonstrates this as he describes to the Colossians his prayer requests about them.  Look at the verses below and notice what Paul is requesting from God, but also look for why Paul wants God to give them these things:

Colossians 1:9-10
For this reason also, since the day we heard this, we haven’t stopped praying for you.  We are asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, so that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God.

Paul requested that God would fill the Colossians to the brim with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding.  As comforting as that sounds, Paul expected that there would be a practical, physical result of these believers growing closer to God – namely, that their lives would begin to reflect their relationship with God.  To walk worthy of the Lord means that the believers in Colossae would conduct their lives in a way that would point to God and bring honor to Him. 

Shortly after my oldest son started his first job, I received an Instant Message from a co-worker I had never met.  Her message was both short and striking:

Good afternoon, I wanted to let you know that I met your oldest son today on my lunch break.  You should be very proud – he is a great young man.

After interacting with my son, she was so impressed with his conduct and helpfulness that she felt the need to seek out his father.  When our children follow through on the instruction we’ve given them, they bring recognition and a good reputation to our family name.  When we hear back from others – whether it is from people we know well, or from complete strangers – that our kids are making wise choices and are conducting themselves in this way, we receive honor as their parents.

The spiritual parallel is obvious.  Our walk and our fruit in every good work need to point others back toward our Heavenly Father.  Paul knows this, and as such, he prays that the Colossians may be filled with the knowledge of His will.  When we know God well, we know how to represent Him well – and those around us will take notice and seek the God we serve.

Paul’s desire for the believers in Colossae to walk worthy of the Lord mirrors what Jesus said during His sermon on the mount:

Matthew 5:16
In the same way, let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

Do others see our Father in heaven based upon how we walk through each day?  If not, what are we being filled with…the knowledge of His will or something else?

Keep Pressing,
Ken 

Flashback Favorite - Work and a hobo’s paradise

My job has been pretty demanding over the last few weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I like what I do. However, the pressure has been to the point that I’ve thought about retirement life and not having to deal with the constant responsibility, expectations, and problems.

I am many years away from retirement age, but we all have entertained the daydream of doing away with ‘work’ and somehow living the easy life. That’s when this previous lesson-learned comes to mind:

Work and a hobo’s paradise
Originally posted on May 16, 2019

The Big Rock Candy Mountain was a song made famous by Harry McClintock in 1928.  Every few years, it finds its way back into pop culture; with some versions a little more cleaned up than others.  The gist of the song is a hobo singing about his version of paradise – a land of ease, described in fanciful terms.  There are cigarette trees, lemonade springs, and hens that lay soft-boiled eggs.  The cops have wooden legs and bulldogs have rubber teeth, and if you happen to get caught doing something you shouldn’t, then don’t worry about it – because the jails are made of tin and you can leave just as soon as you get there.  I think my favorite line is hobo’s boast that in the Big Rock Candy Mountains “there’s a lake of stew and of whiskey too, you can paddle all around it in a big canoe.”

While it is a cute little song, no one would take it seriously when considering their eternal destiny.  However, there is one line in the song that stuck out to me when I first heard it.  Out of all the cartoonish imagery, there was one sentiment that made me think: “Wow.  That’s kinda funny and would be nice.”  Here’s the line:

I'm goin' to stay, where you sleep all day, where they hung the jerk, that invented work, in the Big Rock Candy Mountains.

Because work is…well, “work”…right?  It’s often a pain.  We view it as some “necessary evil” that we must endure because we like to eat food and have working light switches.  Given the choice between going to work and not going to work – I’m pretty sure that 99% of us would not go.  Throw in the idea that someone, somewhere may have invented the concept of work?  Yeah…nobody would care much for that guy.

But is work really our problem?  And who invented it, anyway?

I think most Christians and Jews would place the blame solely on Adam.  After he and Eve blew it, here’s what God had to say about Adam’s curse:

Genesis 3:17-19
And He said to the man, “Because you listened to your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘Do not eat from it’:

The ground is cursed because of you.  You will eat from it by means of painful labor all the days of your life. 
It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field.
You will eat bread by the sweat of your brow until you return to the ground, since you were taken from it.  For you are dust, and you will return to dust.

Adam and Eve sinned by eating – from here on, they would suffer in order to eat.  Notice that God didn’t hand out working assignments.  He didn’t have to explain what “work” was; instead, God said that work would now become painful labor.  While his efforts would be able to feed his family, Adam would have to contend with thorns and thistles.

We have to go a little further back in Adam and Eve’s story to find the origin of work:

Genesis 1:27-29, 2:15
So God created man in His own image;
He created him in the image of God;
He create them male and female

God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it.  Rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, and every creature that crawls on the earth.”  God also said, “Look, I have given you every seed-bearing plant on the surface of the entire earth and every tree who fruit contains seed.  This will be food for you…

The Lord God took the man and placed him in the garden of Eden to work it and watch over it.

To fulfill these directions from God, Adam and Eve would have to do some work!  But since this was before sin corrupted everything – including the ground – what do you think their work was like?  What would you do if all creatures and plants cooperated with you and your efforts? 

Don’t think of the garden of Eden as being a little vegetable plot.  This “garden” was more like an arboretum.  So in addition to their responsibility to rule over the world, Adam was also God’s official landscaper…and there wasn’t a weed, thistle, or thorn to be found.  Imagine what a master gardener could do if they didn’t have to fight off the weeds!

This was how paradise started – not with lakes of stew and all-day sleep-fests, but with Adam and Eve partnering with God.  They worked and managed creation.  They walked and talked with God.  The land readily produced food for them.

I look forward to the day when Paradise Lost becomes Paradise Restored.  In Eternity Future, we’ll be able to live and work without sin and selfishness thwarting our efforts.  Just like we were created to do.

Keep Pressing
Ken

When the house tears itself apart

I grew up in the Western US, in the Nevada desert.  When I was in my teens, my family realized there was something wrong with our house.  And by “something wrong” I mean something structurally wrong with our house.  There were large-gap cracks appearing in the sidewalk and our living room floor was bowing.  Turns out, one part of the house was slowly sinking, while another section, on the opposite side, was slowly drifting away. 

How could this happen?  Well, the first thing you have to understand about desert soil is that it is very alkaline and it swells when it gets wet.  While the soil in the rest of the US will act like a sponge and soak in any rainfall, the top layer of the desert soil tends to swell shut and not allow additional water to be absorbed.  This is why “flash floods” happen in the desert – too much rainfall too quickly, the top layer of dirt swells shut, and any remaining water rapidly moves to the lowest elevation point it can find.  After the rain evaporates in the desert heat, the ground contracts back to normal.

Further investigation of the cracks and shifts revealed that the house did not have a proper foundation.  Sure, there was a concrete slab and some footers, but not much else underneath.  The house was about 25-30 years old at the time, and who knows what zoning/building laws were in place (or just flat ignored) when it was built.  In any case, we had to do something, because after a couple of decades of the ground underneath settling and the surrounding topsoil being treated like an accordion, the lack of proper foundation meant that the ground was literally tearing our house apart.

This wasn’t something we could patch with plaster or pour concrete over.  Ultimately, the best way to fix the problem was to start over with a new, properly-laid foundation.  Now, it’s one thing to place a new foundation behind an existing house…but it’s a completely different operation to move a house from its current foundation on to the new one.  We brought in and moved into a single-wide trailer on our property.  Next, our home had to be gutted.  Everything was removed, even the bottom layer of sheetrock, exposing the wooden frame.  Then, enormous metal beams were run through the gutted lower layer.  The last step was to have the house picked up by the metal beams and moved to the new foundation.  (It was quite a sight to see my entire home “floating” in the air, being supported by jacks.)  Afterward, my dad rebuilt the gutted portions before we could move back in.

By way of correlation, the same thing can happen to how we interpret the Bible.  The best way to handle Scripture begins with Observation (What do I see?), moves to Interpretation (What does it mean?), and ends with Application (How does it work?).  To use my house analogy, Observation is the foundation, Interpretation is the structure, and Application is the furnishings that make the building useful.  However…no matter how pretty we make the Application, or how much we like the Interpretation, the whole structure will fall apart if the Observation-foundation is not solid.

Perhaps you’ve lived with a particular interpretation you were taught decades ago.  But, over the years, you noticed some cracks in that line of thinking.  Maybe you’ve found that those conclusions don’t quite “fit in” with other clear statements in Scripture or your experience in life.  It’s hard to change your mind when it’s something you’ve “known” for a long time, or if it was taught by someone you respect.  When we realize that our Application is off or our Interpretation doesn’t work, it’s time to take a hard look at our Observation-foundation.  Ultimately, we need to let Scripture speak for itself.

One of the most common mis-interpretations of the Bible comes with the word “save” or “salvation”.  A regularly quoted verse about salvation is found in Paul’s letter to the believers in Philippi:

Philippians 2:12-13
Therefore, my dear friends, just as you have always obeyed, so now, not only in my presence but even more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.  For it is God who is working in you both to will and to work according to His good purpose.

“See?” they say.  “In order to be saved from eternal damnation, you have work to do and God has work to do.  Our obedience proves that we’re working out of our ‘saved’ state.”

But if you compare this statement with Paul’s letter to the believers in Ephesus, you find:

Ephesians 2:8-9
For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is God’s gift – not from works, so that no one can boast.

So which is it, Paul?  Is eternal salvation proven by us working or is it God’s gift?  Many people try to reconcile these two verses by putting the “work” concept from Philippians into the “faith” concept found in Ephesians.  They would argue that you are saved by grace through faith [which is proven through your continued obedience and work]…the problem with this reconciliation attempt is that anything done as work automatically disqualifies the work-earnings from being called a gift (as Paul states in Romans 4:4-5). 

Notice the cracks in the interpretation structure here?  Does the house look/feel unsteady?  To really address this interpretation problem, we’re going to have to inspect our Observation-foundation.

Our problem stems from the assumption that every use of the word “save” or “salvation” in the Bible refers to being eternally saved from the consequences of our sin.  When, in fact, no Old Testament use of “save” means that, and less than half of the uses of “save” in the New Testament refer to our eternal salvation.  The other uses throughout the Bible refer to being delivered from enemies, or healed from sickness, or delivered from physical death, or other types of “rescue”…all of which can be determined by looking at the context where the word “save” is used.  Let’s be fair here…we do the same thing in English: I saved money.  I saved someone from choking.  I saved you when I gave you a ride after your car broke down.  Lots of saving here…but nothing pertaining to eternity.

If we take the same context-driven approach with our Bible reading, we find that in his letter to the believers in Philippi, Paul used the term “salvation” three times (Philippians 1:19, 1:28, 2:12).  In his chapter 1 uses, the context makes it clear that Paul is talking about an earthly rescue from earthly persecution.  In the verses surrounding 1:19, he talks about his own earthly rescue, and then in the following two uses (1:28, 2:12) Paul is using himself as a pattern for the Philippian believers to follow for their own escape from earthly persecution.

With this new, solid Observation-foundation, our interpretation changes when we read Philippians 2:12-13.  We find that this rescue-from-persecution interpretation is more consistent with the rest of the chapter.  We also realize that those verses are not in conflict with Ephesians 2:8-9, and there is no need to shoehorn one verse inside the other.  When our observations are solid, our interpretations become accurate, and our applications will be more useful.

The same thing happened when we moved our house.  Since there was a new foundation being laid…my dad took the opportunity to add a master bath and other improvements that made the home more pleasant and useful to live in.  However, these extra amenities would have been useless if we had not replaced the poorly-constructed foundation.

Whenever you find an apparent conflict between Bible passages, go back and look at the context.  Rarely does the same word mean the same thing every single time it is used.  Even if it means we need to gut and replace what we’ve been taught previously, we must let the Scriptures speak for themselves.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I hate the Happy Birthday song

Is there anything more deflating at a birthday party than the actual singing of the Happy Birthday song? 

I don’t remember the last time I heard someone actually sing the song and sing it well.  Most of the time, “Happy Birthday” is performed as a group, completely off-key, with all the enthusiasm of a funeral dirge.  Go ahead and add your cha-cha-cha’s or silly second verse…but you won’t catch me singing along. 

But Ken…it’s TRADITION!
Well, sure…but that doesn’t mean it’s a GOOD tradition.

Before you call me too much of a party-pooper, here’s something that really takes the cake (…yes, pun intended): according to the CDC, singing “Happy Birthday” can be good for you.  Not because the song itself has any healthy, healing powers – but because the CDC wants you to wash your hands properly.

The CDC says you need to wash your hands with warm soapy water for at least 20 seconds.  Don’t want to count to 20?  Their suggestion is to sing “Happy Birthday”.  Twice.

For me, that’s just not going to happen.  I can barely tolerate the tune in its proper context, but to sing that song – TWICE – every time I wash my hands?  Nope, not happening.  Not a chance.

But if we’re going to make sure our hands are properly washed, we’ll need to come up with something better.  Here are a couple of suggestions:

Because I grew up in church, I’ve had multiple kids church songs burned into my brain.  One particular song was 1 John 4:7-8 set to music.  It takes about 25 seconds for me to sing through.  Now, I happened to learn it using the King James translation, so this is how it goes:

Beloved, let us love one another (love one another)
for love is of God, and everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God.
He that loveth not, knoweth not God for God is love (God is love)
Beloved, let us love one another. 1 John 4:7-8

Pretty good 25 second reminder that God is love, He loves us, and because of that, we should love each other.  If I remind myself of this every time I wash my hands, that’s several mental resets I’ve suddenly placed into my day – before I put my contacts in, when I use the restroom before my next meeting, when I wash my hands before a meal…when I sing this tune, God can use each one of those transition moments to reframe my thinking.

Don’t know a verse set to music?  No problem – just recite verses that you know.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
(repeat 3x to get the full 20 seconds)

John 3:16-17
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but will have eternal life.  For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world, but that so the world may be saved through Him.
(repeat 2x to get the full 20 seconds)

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not give up.  Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day.  For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory.  So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
(repeat 1x to get the full 20 seconds)

Maybe you don’t know these verses from memory in order to say them while you wash your hands.  No worries!  Just recite what you can, and do it several times.  Trust me, a few days of you washing your hands and you’ll be surprised at how many verses you suddenly have memorized!

Lastly, feel free to take 20 seconds and talk to God.  Use your handwashing as a reminder of when you believed in Jesus for eternal life, He washed you clean from the eternal penalty of your sin (John 3:16).  Remember that as a child of God, He forgives us and cleans us from all wrong-doing when we confess our sins to Him (1 John 1:7, 9).  Ask Him to help you speak kindly during your next meeting.  Thank Him for available soap and running water.

There are many ways to fill 20 seconds of hand washing that are infinitely better than singing a tune that few people actually like.  It all depends on what you choose to fill the time with.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Dealing with gossips and trash-talkers

A couple of years ago, I engaged in what I would call “short-term mentoring” with a young man who was fresh out of college and just starting out in his career field.  We’d meet for coffee or food a couple of times, primarily so we could work through what he was experiencing as a Christian making the shift from the education world to the business world.  For some topics, he knew the right next steps – but just needed to talk through them out loud or bounce his ideas off of someone else.  For other topics, when he felt stumped, I would share my advice and experience.

One particular struggle was with a coworker who routinely bad-mouthed their other co-workers.  Can you believe so-and-so did that?  Watch out for them, they’ll serve you up to the boss in a heartbeat.  And that guy over there – laziest jerk in the company.  In my experience, there is always at least one person like this in any corporate setting, and sometimes this kind of behavior is throughout entire departments. 

But my friend felt stuck.  He was the new guy and because of their roles in the company, he worked with this individual all the time.  There was no “escaping” or “avoiding” the frequent negative attitude and gossip.  He didn’t want to talk trash on his other co-workers (that he just met and barely knew)…but he didn’t feel like he could look at this person and bluntly say “Thou shalt not gossip.”  He didn’t want to sour the relationship with someone he was required to work with, but he also didn’t want the other co-workers to think that he was gossiping and talking trash about them.

While the Bible does talk about the dangers and difficulties of gossip, most of the time it simply acknowledges that it exists and warns of the trouble it causes.  You won’t find direction on how to stop others from doing it.  It seems that God is much more concerned with what you do with gossip instead of deputizing you to become the gossip police.

Solomon addressed gossipy situations many times in his collection of Proverbs, for example:

Proverbs 11:12
Whoever shows contempt for his neighbor lacks sense,
but a person with understanding keeps silent.

Proverbs 20:19
The one who reveals secrets is a constant gossip;
avoid someone with a big mouth.

Proverbs 26:20
Without wood, fire goes out;
without a gossip, conflict dies down.

These proverbs give us three good options when we’re faced with someone who wants to spread rumors or talk trash: keep quiet, avoid the person, or don’t participate.

When I was talking through my friend’s situation at work, we agreed that the first two were not really options for him…since the person was someone he had to regularly work with.  So my advice focused on the last proverb’s point – that when his co-worker came to him with rumors or would bad-mouth their other co-workers, he did not have to accept the invitation to participate.  A couple of examples:

Hey, did you hear about so-and-so?  They got in trouble with the boss today…
I heard something happened, but I wasn’t involved.  If I need to be, I’m sure they’ll let me know.

Watch out, that lady will always stab you in the back.
I’ll keep that in mind, but that hasn’t been my experience with her.  Maybe she was having a bad day.

That guy is the laziest jerk in the department.  He never gets his reports done on time and his work is always sloppy.
Are you sure?  The last time I worked with him on a project, it went fine.

The main thing about these responses is that they do not pile on to what the gossiper was saying.  Maybe there is some truth to what they are complaining about, but “always” and “never” are rarely accurate labels.  It does no good to add fuel to the fire, and when we choose to not participate, conflict dies down.

The last point I made to my friend was that if he was able to consistently avoid gossip participation – if he politely refuted “always/never” or changed the subject to a relevant work matter – then eventually the person will stop bringing the gossip to him.  He’s no fun if he won’t gossip, too.  His consistency will be noticed by his other co-workers, as well.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

It's ok to write on the walls

It’s around preschool age when a child starts to develop the finger dexterity to hold a pencil steady and is able to make the lines and curves that represent our spoken words.  Moving from individual letters and sounds, at some point it mentally clicks for them – there is a particular combination of these letters that make up “my name”, and my brother’s “name”, and the dog’s “name”, etc. 

Shortly after learning these combinations, our oldest began to fill pages with letters and drawings.  However, he wasn’t always good at keeping his practice space to just a piece of paper.  One day I went upstairs to the boys’ room, and on the wall next to the doorframe was our youngest son’s name, written in blue crayon.  Curious, I asked our oldest if this was his handiwork…because he knew that he was not allowed to write on the walls.  He insisted that the perpetrator was his younger brother – obviously, because that’s whose name was on the wall.  The problem with his sound 5 year old logic was that his younger brother was still toddling around at point, and he was far from ready to write out anything, let alone his own name.

What’s crazy to think is that God once specifically told the Israelites to write on their walls.  However, what they were to write was more important than simply their brother’s name:

Deuteronomy 6:4-9
Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.  These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart.  Repeat them to your children.  Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead.  Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.

Thinking about God’s words, talking about them with others, and having them visually available would help keep their relationship with God in the forefront of their minds.  It’s hard to love God if you’re not thinking about Him.  You can’t have a relationship with Him if He’s not a part of your day.

I love how practical these directions are.  To be honest, Moses could have stopped much earlier and simply said: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.  These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart.  That direction is potent, and we could talk for hours about how to make sure this is the focus of our lives.  However, Moses emphasizes how important these directions are by giving a detailed list of examples for the Israelites.

God’s words are to be passed down to your children.  Talk about God’s words when you’re at home and when your out and about.  They should be visible in your actions and potent in your thoughts.

The most interesting part of the section is the last verse: Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your city gates.

One of my favorite ministries, Chestnut Mountain Ranch in Morgantown, WV, has a tradition when constructing a new building.  The workers and volunteers who help with construction write Bible verses and prayers on the wooden frame of each building.  This is a way for them to acknowledge the work God is going to do in the boys’ home they are constructing.  They pray for everyone who will use that space to make a generational impact.  You can see an example of this in the pictures at the bottom of this page.

One last observation: the doorposts and the city gates are rather specific locations for Moses to call out.  It doesn’t prevent them from putting up God’s words on other parts of their homes or in their community, but why these two places?  I think these are the best place to have God’s words visible to His people – because the doorposts and city gates are their transition points during each day.  When you leave your home and when you return back to your family, there are God’s words waiting for you.  When you leave your community to head out in to the world and upon your return – God’s words are there to ground you and remind you whose you are.

Transition points in our day are ripe with opportunity to reset our minds on what is most important.  Rather than move from Point A to Point B or from Task 4 to Task 5, here are some practical ways we can remember God’s words and reset our minds during the day:

·       I recently heard someone say that when they would drive to various meetings with clients, they would spend their drive time talking to God about the next meeting. 
·       To choose a strong password for your accounts, select a Bible verse (e.g. – Philippians2:14) and say it out loud when you log in.  If your work requires that you update your password every 90 days, then next time change it to Philippians2:15 and say both verses together.  And yes, it’s ok to look at the verse to help you memorize it…but after saying the verse for 90 days, trust me, you won’t need any help – you’ll have God’s word in your heart.  I have memorized chunks of Scripture using this method.
·       We use elevators to take us to specific places and people.  So when you ride one, tell God thank you for all the places He’s taken you in life and for the people He has introduced you to.  Name the places and the people you are thankful for.
·       Hang a Bible verse near your door, or even take my son’s approach and write it on the wall.  Find a verse that reminds you of who you are in Jesus and how much He loves you.

Search your day for transition points.  Change one of them.  This reminder will strengthen your relationship with God and help you love Him with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Jesus told jokes

I’m not really sure why, but most – if not all – of our descriptions of God have an ominous, somber, super-serious tone.  We imagine God sitting in Heaven, looking down on Earth, being constantly disappointed.  Worse yet, we think that God is always mad at us…with an itchy trigger finger to punish us the moment we step out of line.  To even think of God having a sense of humor or even comedic timing?  Yeah, right…

When we look at Jesus’ ministry, we do see times that He doled out just punishment (John 2:13-22), but we don’t see Him walking around as a grouchy sourpuss ready to flame-spray all the bad people.  Instead, He’s often charged with being a “friend of sinners” and one who “eats and drinks with sinners” – those who were seen as low-brow and low-class in Jewish society.  If Jesus was as pious and solemn as our modern depictions go, I can’t imagine Him being invited to many parties…let alone being called a partier’s friend.  When you enjoy a meal with others, there are stories told, jokes made, and much laughter.  “Stoic Jesus” would have been left alone in a corner somewhere…instead, the “sinners” knew who He was and often invited Him in.

While that’s an indirect proof of Jesus’ use of humor, there are other examples found in Scripture.  I think we miss them because most of the time when we read the Bible, we’re looking for serious, life-changing truths…and we gloss over the tangible descriptions of everyday life.

The most obvious joke Jesus told was illustrating the hypocrisy we often have in our relationships.

Matthew 7:3-4
Why do you look at the splinter in your brother’s eye but don’t notice the beam of wood in your own eye?  Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the splinter out of your eye,’ and look, there’s a beam of wood in your own eye?

As a skilled speaker/teacher, Jesus would have paused to let the absurdity of the situation play out in their minds.  If you have a beam of wood sticking out of your head, how in the world are you able to see the splinter in another’s eye?  And then you offer to “help” them with their issue…but when you get close enough to reach their eye, they are taken out by the beam sticking out of your head.  Ironic situation, meet slapstick comedy.  Or to put it in a more modern setting: imagine going to a blind optometrist.  How helpful would the appointment be if he can’t see the letters either, let alone walk around the exam room without crashing into everything?  How funny would this be to watch as an SNL skit?

Jesus also used humor to chastise those who were “religious” but also full of themselves.  While reprimanding the Pharisees, He said

Matthew 7:23
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!   You pay a tenth of mint, dill, and cumin, and yet you have neglected the more important matters of the law – justice, mercy, and faithfulness.  These things should have been done without neglecting the others.

In all honesty, Jesus could have stopped there.  Instead, He furthers His point by using this humorous illustration:

Matthew 7:24
Blind guides!  You strain out a gnat, but gulp down a camel!

Both gnats and camels were considered “unclean” in the Mosaic Law.  Neither should be eaten.  There is some evidence that the very pious would run their wine through a strainer in order to make sure that no gnats or bugs had landed in their drink.  Jesus’ contention is that the scribes and Pharisees have been missing the point of the Mosaic Law.  They’ve been “majoring on the minors” so much that while they scrutinize everything for a gnat out of place that they miss the fact they were willing to eat an entire camel!

Although there are other ironies and humorous stories I could reference, in this last Scripture example, I can envision Jesus using “air quotes” as He talked.  The day after feeding 5,000 men (plus the women and children present), many of those who ate the loaves and fish tracked Jesus down.

John 6:26-27
Jesus answered, “Truly I tell you, you are looking for Me, not because you saw the signs, but because you ate the loaves and were filled.  Don’t work for the food that perishes but for the food that lasts for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you, because God the Father has set His seal of approval on Him.”

They worked to find Him – not because they realized that the signs/miracles Jesus performed demonstrated He was the promised Messiah – instead they spent their energy to seek Him out for another free meal.  When Jesus pointed out their true motivations, they keyed in on the word work in relation to eternal life and performing miracles for themselves:

John 6:28
“What can we do to perform the works of God?” they asked.

They were asking how they could earn up enough favor with God so they could manifest their next meal.  Sounds familiar, right?  “If I follow the rules, give to the synagogue, do the right sacrifices, God will give me stuff…right Jesus?  Just tell me all the good things I need to do to earn the outcome I want.”  They also thought that there were many things they needed to do, since they asked about works – plural.  Jesus’ reply is tongue-in-cheek, correcting their use of the plural works and pointing them to the air quote singular “work” they would need to do to obtain eternal life:

John 6:29
Jesus replied, “This is the work of God – that you believe in the one He has sent.”

Just like they missed the point of the miracle – it was evidence that Jesus was the promised Messiah – they also completely missed that eternal life was something He would give you.  You can’t do enough works to earn a gift…eternal life is a gift free of charge, no “work” necessary…you only have to believe in Jesus for it.

Remember, when you read stories in the Bible…these aren’t made up fairy tales, they actually happened.  The people in them didn’t know the next verse, they simply lived it out.  Of course, there were serious moments, but there were also times of fun, laughter, and joking.  Some jokes were even told by God Himself.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Help! I married my opposite.

At one point, I was very interested in personality traits and tendencies.  I read up on different personality assessments and took a number of assessment quizzes.  The results of one particular Myers-Briggs assessment included pairing of your personality type with others, so that you would know what type of person would be your “best friend”, “marriage material”, or “likely competition”.  Curious, I convinced my wife to take the test.

Three of her four traits were opposite mine…and I couldn’t find our pairing in any of their categories.  Not friend, not foe, not hiking buddy, not marriage partner, not even preferred acquaintance.  Finally, after bouncing around multiple pages on their website, I found their one-word description of a relationship between my set of four traits and her set of four traits: novelty.

According to the personality typing, she thinks I’m oddly intriguing.  I see her the same way.  “Opposites attract” – it’s a culturally accepted norm that all of us have plenty of experience with.  We certainly came from different families, and we’ve had our share of differences to work through over the years.  When you boil it all down…she’s an artist and I’m a nerd…and a prime example of our differences is in how we express and receive love. 

If you’re familiar with the Five Love Languages (Gift Giving, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch), you’ll probably empathize with what I’m about to say.  My love language is not the same as my wife’s love language…in fact, hers is probably my lowest ranking choice and mine is probably her lowest ranking choice.

I think I’m quite simple to love…after all, as an Acts of Service lover, just do something for me and I feel loved by you.  A clean home, laundry done, and dinner on the table makes me the happiest person on the planet.  Whereas my wife desires Physical Touch – hand held lovingly, hugs, cuddles, closeness.  Problem is…I’m not a touchy-feely person.  If you initiate a hug, I’ll reciprocate, but don’t expect me to go seeking one out.  On the flip-side, my wife’s clue that dishes are today’s priority is when we’ve run out of cups or skillets.

So we run into the constant problem: if I’m not reaching for her hand, giving hugs, etc. then she’s even less inclined to do something for me.  And if she’s not helping me out, I’m even less inclined to initiate loving contact with her.  It’s a vicious cycle, really.  It doesn’t start spiraling down out of spite or meanness…just the normal everyday busyness pulls us away from actively thinking about how the other person receives love.  When we’re distracted, we default to acting out in the way we want love to look like…I keep busy doing things around the house “for her” and she reaches for my hand “for him”…and those actions are easily misinterpreted. 

So, the question is…Who gives in first?  Who makes the first “loving move”?

When writing to the church in Ephesus, Paul spent the first two-thirds of the letter describing the relationship between Jesus and the church.  This relationship was previously a mystery (Ephesians 3:3-4), there is unity (4:4-6), there is diversity of gifts (4:11-13), and it results in a new way of living (4:17-5:21).  Paul wraps up his main discussion by giving the highest earthly example of the relationship between Jesus and the church – marriage. 

Ephesians 5:21-22, 25
Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

To answer our question, it would be easy to quote the above verses and say “See!  We both should swallow our pride and selfishness.  We need to think of the other person first.”  And I understand that sentiment.  I see the verses above.  Who should make the first move?  Whichever of us is more mature and humble in the moment.

However…I can’t help but notice two things.

1.       When I read the entire marriage section in Paul’s letter (5:22-33), he talks a lot more about how us men need to love our wives than he does about wives loving their husbands.  Paul places the burden on us to love our wife just as much as we love and care for ourselves.

2.       If I look at the timeline of when the church loved Jesus vs when Jesus loved the church – I find that Jesus loved first.  And if I’m to love my wife just as Christ loved the church…again, Paul is placing the first-step responsibility on me.

Then, I am reminded of other verses like these:

1 John 4:19
We love because He first loved us.

Romans 5:8
But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus loved us before we could do anything to deserve it.  He loved us when we thought ourselves unlovable.  He continues to love us, even when we are unlovely. 

So, fellas…I have to break it to you: we are the ones who should move first and show our wife the love she needs in the way she needs it.  Even if you don’t understand why she likes the kind of love communication that she does.  Get her a little gift, run the vacuum, block out your schedule to do something with her, compliment her, or – as I need to do – take her hand and give her a hug without being asked to.

It’s not wrong if she beats you to the punch and speaks your love language first – just speak hers back.  Opposites do attract, but they stay together only when we’re intentional with how we show our love.

Keep Pressing,
Ken