Round 2: Pausing in the bitter moments
Pausing in the bitter moments
Originally posted on November 18, 2021
When we read the Bible, we have a tendency to read it too fast. This happens a lot when reading the accounts of Jesus and His disciples or during any narrative portion of Scripture recounting historical actions and conversations. Due to familiarity with the text and that we know where the story is going next, we run the risk of glossing over important details and poignant moments. We forget that for the people we are reading about, this was once real life. They weren’t privy to the next verse. They were living their lives day-to-day, just like you and I do.
The moment I want to pause at is found in Matthew 26. Early in the chapter, Jesus has His Last Supper with His disciples, and He revealed that one of them was going to betray Him. As expected, everyone wanted to know who it was (especially making sure it wasn’t them!). Later, when they are at the Mount of Olives, Jesus revealed even more of what was coming:
Matthew 26:31-35
Then Jesus said to them, “Tonight all of you will fall away because of me, for it is written:
I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.
But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you to Galilee.”
Peter told Him, “Even if everyone falls away because of you, I will never fall away.”
“Truly I tell you,” Jesus said to him, “tonight, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.”
“Even if I have to die with you,” Peter told Him, “I will never deny you,” and all the disciples said the same thing.
Peter said this, but everyone else took the same vow. Next, Jesus went to the garden of Gethsemane to pray. You can read what He prayed in John 17, but the detail to note here is that Jesus separated from His disciples to pray…but took Peter, James, and John with Him. He wanted to be with those He was closest to in His final hours. Jesus asked that the three of them stay awake and pray while He wrestled with what God the Father would have Him do next. But when He came back to them, they were asleep. Waking them up, He specifically asked Peter – the one who promised undying support – “So, couldn’t you stay awake with me one hour?” Jesus went back to pray and the scene played out two more times. They couldn’t stay awake, despite Jesus’ need. For a total of three times, Jesus’ inner circle failed Him this way.
Then Judas – the betrayer disciple – came to the garden with mob carrying swords and clubs. When they took hold of Jesus, Peter drew his sword and hit a guy hard enough to whack off his ear. But Jesus responded: “Put your sword back in its place because all who take up the sword will perish by the sword. Or do you think that I cannot call on my Father, and He will provide me here and now with more than twelve legions of angels? How then, would the Scriptures be fulfilled that say it must happen this way?” At this point, all the disciples deserted Him and ran away.
Peter escaped the arresting mob, but then hung back and followed them at a distance as they took Jesus to the high priest. Peter was able to get inside the courtyard, but could go no further. In Jerusalem, he was a fish out of water. Peter was a rough fisherman from up north, in Galilee; and the sophisticated Jews of the south considered Galileans to be crude, unrefined hicks. Peter would have to wait outside and among strangers to find out any news. This is where we pick up the story:
Matthew 26:69-75
Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard. A servant girl approached him and said, “You were with Jesus the Galilean too.”
But he denied it in front of everyone: “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
When he had gone out to the gateway, another woman saw him and told those who were there, “This man was with Jesus the Nazarene!”
And again he denied it with an oath: “I don’t know the man!”
After a little while those standing there approached and said to Peter, “You really are one of them, since even your accent gives you away.”
Then he started to curse and to swear with an oath, “I don’t know the man!” Immediately a rooster crowed, and Peter remembered the words Jesus had spoken, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” And he went outside and wept bitterly.
He wept bitterly. Pause right there. Put yourself in Peter’s sandals for a moment. He had followed Jesus for 3+ years. Peter was part of Jesus’ inner circle and the de facto leader of the disciples. Just a few hours ago, he made a vow on his life that he would never deny who Jesus was and what He meant to him. But what’s happened since Peter made that adamant vow? Jesus rebuked him on three separate occasions…and then Peter vehemently denied even knowing who Jesus was – three times, just as Jesus predicted! The last denial was a complete opposite of the vow he made to Jesus. Don’t sugar-coat this part. Him “cursing and swearing an oath” would have come across as something like: May God strike me dead if I’m lying, I don’t $%#@ know the man! As soon as he said these words, the rooster crowed…
Don’t move on in the text just yet. Stop and feel Peter’s shame. Remember what it’s like to completely fail someone you love. Over the last several hours, every action Peter took and every word Peter spoke was wrong. He failed, spectacularly. And as far as Peter can see, there is no chance for apology or restoration. Peter is stuck, alone, and utterly disgusted with himself. Now…we understand his bitter tears.
We have moments in life like Peter’s. We’ve blown it so big that we don’t know how life can go on. But just because Peter didn’t know the next verse doesn’t mean he would forever live in that shame-filled moment. As we continue to read the Scriptures, we find that Jesus did restore Peter (John 21:15-19).
By pausing and identifying with this part of Peter’s story, we find that it is an example – God can restore us, just like He restored Peter. Even when the bitter tears we cry are completely our fault.
Keep Pressing,
Ken