I hate the Happy Birthday song

Is there anything more deflating at a birthday party than the actual singing of the Happy Birthday song? 

I don’t remember the last time I heard someone actually sing the song and sing it well.  Most of the time, “Happy Birthday” is performed as a group, completely off-key, with all the enthusiasm of a funeral dirge.  Go ahead and add your cha-cha-cha’s or silly second verse…but you won’t catch me singing along. 

But Ken…it’s TRADITION!
Well, sure…but that doesn’t mean it’s a GOOD tradition.

Before you call me too much of a party-pooper, here’s something that really takes the cake (…yes, pun intended): according to the CDC, singing “Happy Birthday” can be good for you.  Not because the song itself has any healthy, healing powers – but because the CDC wants you to wash your hands properly.

The CDC says you need to wash your hands with warm soapy water for at least 20 seconds.  Don’t want to count to 20?  Their suggestion is to sing “Happy Birthday”.  Twice.

For me, that’s just not going to happen.  I can barely tolerate the tune in its proper context, but to sing that song – TWICE – every time I wash my hands?  Nope, not happening.  Not a chance.

But if we’re going to make sure our hands are properly washed, we’ll need to come up with something better.  Here are a couple of suggestions:

Because I grew up in church, I’ve had multiple kids church songs burned into my brain.  One particular song was 1 John 4:7-8 set to music.  It takes about 25 seconds for me to sing through.  Now, I happened to learn it using the King James translation, so this is how it goes:

Beloved, let us love one another (love one another)
for love is of God, and everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God.
He that loveth not, knoweth not God for God is love (God is love)
Beloved, let us love one another. 1 John 4:7-8

Pretty good 25 second reminder that God is love, He loves us, and because of that, we should love each other.  If I remind myself of this every time I wash my hands, that’s several mental resets I’ve suddenly placed into my day – before I put my contacts in, when I use the restroom before my next meeting, when I wash my hands before a meal…when I sing this tune, God can use each one of those transition moments to reframe my thinking.

Don’t know a verse set to music?  No problem – just recite verses that you know.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
(repeat 3x to get the full 20 seconds)

John 3:16-17
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whosoever believes in Him will not perish, but will have eternal life.  For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world, but that so the world may be saved through Him.
(repeat 2x to get the full 20 seconds)

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Therefore we do not give up.  Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day.  For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory.  So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
(repeat 1x to get the full 20 seconds)

Maybe you don’t know these verses from memory in order to say them while you wash your hands.  No worries!  Just recite what you can, and do it several times.  Trust me, a few days of you washing your hands and you’ll be surprised at how many verses you suddenly have memorized!

Lastly, feel free to take 20 seconds and talk to God.  Use your handwashing as a reminder of when you believed in Jesus for eternal life, He washed you clean from the eternal penalty of your sin (John 3:16).  Remember that as a child of God, He forgives us and cleans us from all wrong-doing when we confess our sins to Him (1 John 1:7, 9).  Ask Him to help you speak kindly during your next meeting.  Thank Him for available soap and running water.

There are many ways to fill 20 seconds of hand washing that are infinitely better than singing a tune that few people actually like.  It all depends on what you choose to fill the time with.

Keep Pressing,
Ken