I've got nothing

When I was a teen, my mom struck a deal with me: She would buy as much junk food as I wanted to eat, but before I had any of it, I had to eat my 5 fruits and veggies for the day.  She had read about a study that said a lot of the hormonal stresses and body changes a teenager experiences can be made worse if their diet was poor.  But then, why offer me junk food?  Because that same study found that the junk food wasn’t necessarily the problem – instead, the lack of nutrients in the junk food was the contributing issue to a teen’s health.  The study found that if the teen was eating proper macro and micro nutrients, then the junk food didn’t really cause much of an issue.  Bonus, too, was that the teen study participants actually ate less junk food after eating good, healthy food.  Essentially, they were so full of the good stuff that sweet stuff wasn’t as appealing to them.

The result of this bargain with my mom still impacts me today.  I don’t have a strong affinity towards candy, ice cream, or soda.  Sure, I’ll have them at times – but I don’t feel the urge to binge on them when they are available.

What I’m realizing now (much later in life, mind you), is that the study’s findings can apply to other appetites, as well.  Especially given the events of my last week…

I’ve been a little distracted lately.  A pastime I enjoy has crept in and taken up even more space in my life.  There’s nothing wrong with hobbies or sports or interests – most, if not all, of them are not morally right or wrong.  We do them to relax from our work, temporarily distract us from issues or stress, or find connection with others.  And for me, that pastime is NFL football…specifically, my favorite team since childhood, the Kansas City Chiefs.

Now, if you’re not into football, hang with me for a minute…there’s an application in this for you, too.  But if you are a fan of any sport, you may recognize what I’m going to describe.  After watching my team open the season with a victory over one of their biggest rivals (winning literally by an inch) last Thursday night, I stayed up even later to listen to all the post-game commentary where people said nice things about my team.  Over the next several days, there were many sources of commentary and interviews to watch.  There are also several YouTube channels we’ve found with extremely talented content creators that were pumping out hilariously entertaining material.  This whole week, I’d listen to something before work, watch a video during lunch, and then my wife and I would have more to watch nearly every evening.  It’s all good stuff (especially nice on my ego since my team won!) and doesn’t really hurt anything…other than being a bit time consuming.

But as I have been thinking about what to write for THE WORD this week, I have been struggling.  I even had a thought I’ve never encountered before – I’ve got nothing.

Nothing to share has really come to mind.  Nothing new I’m learning from God or something He taught me a while ago to write about.  Just kinda…meh.  Tonight, I’m realizing that I’ve happily filled up on junk food, and I have not been consuming what my spirit needs for nourishment.  I’ve prayed less, read the Bible less, and thoughts about doing either have been pushed aside by my steady diet of Chiefs-related content.

Which leaves me with nothing to share.  How can I speak for God, if I’m not talking with Him?  How can I “think God’s thoughts after Him” if I’m not reading about the things He thinks about?  How can I walk in His footsteps if I’m not looking for the path He’s walked ahead of me?

For me, the NFL has crowded out my time with God.  For you, it could be something else entirely.  Are you a “political junkie”?  Or do you binge-read novels?  Or has TikTok taken too much of your time?

How can we expect the Holy Spirit to remind us of what Jesus said, if we’re not reading what Jesus said?  (John 14:26) It’s tough to be reminded of something we haven’t looked at.  And how are we to expect God to meet our needs, if we aren’t seeking first His kingdom? (Matthew 6:33)

I suspect that you, like me, need to eat better.  We need to prioritize feeding ourselves on God’s Word and sustaining our souls by time spent with Him.  The answer isn’t to completely cut out our hobbies…instead we need to use our time to put life’s emphasis where it truly belongs. 

It will be a sacrifice to do so…we won’t get as much junk food as we’ve been binging on lately.  But, once we’re filled with good food, we’ll find that life is better this way.  Paul laid this out clearly to the believers in Rome.  These two verses are often quoted, but that doesn’t dilute the power and wisdom found in their application:

Romans 12:1-2
Therefore, brothers and sisters, in view of the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your true worship.  Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

Let’s not miss the opportunity to know and live the perfect will of God because we’re too distracted by our hobbies.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Beneath the highlight reel

Many people on social media tell us that an exciting life can be ours – if we have enough money, power, or fame – or better yet, a lot of all three.  The message is loud and clear: get what you can, any way you can, and do it in front of as many people as you can…and then, the world says, you’ll be happy. 

There is a ton of content available with people flexing their money, power, and fame.  Looking for likes and approvals in order to feel validated and justified in their life choices.  However, we’ve seen too many people flame out to fully believe everything we see on social media.

We need to remind each other, and ourselves, that what we see on social media isn’t the whole story of a person’s life.  That what is presented is just a collection of highlight reels.  No one’s life is glamorous all the time.  No one is super-adventurous all the time.  No one is happy all the time.

But despite these warnings…I think that deep down, we wish that life could be full of highlights.  We feel like life should be exciting and fulfilling, but we struggle to find it.  The easy reaction would be to damn social media or money/power/fame.  It’s not difficult to rail against them, and you’ll get many people to join you in doing so.

But…social media, money, power, and fame aren’t the problem – our selfish misuse of them is.  That said, they certainly aren’t the solution to our desires, either.  There is another way, one that results in a life where money, power, and fame are managed well, even being a blessing in a person’s life.

Take a look at this psalm describing blessings from God.  There are highlights of money, power, and fame.  Wouldn’t it be great if this was our highlight reel?

Psalm 112:1-9
Hallelujah!
Happy is the person who fears the Lord, taking great delight in His commands.
His descendants will be powerful in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed.
Wealth and riches are in his house and his righteousness endures forever.
Light shines in the darkness for the upright.
He is gracious, compassionate, and righteous.

Good will come to the one who lends generously and conducts his business fairly.
He will never be shaken.  The righteous one will be remembered forever.
He will not fear bad news; his heart is confident, trusting in the Lord.
His heart is assured; he will not fear. In the end he will look in triumph on his foes.
He distributes freely to the poor, his righteousness endures forever.
His horn will be exalted in honor.

Oh, to have a life described like this!  The blessings are fantastic and far-reaching – but did you notice they are simply tools to protect his family and help others?  The blessings are not the focus of this life.

Instead, a person with this kind of highlight-reel-life is one who fears the Lord, taking great delight in His commands.  God is his focus, and living life according to God’s design is his aim. 

This is the gut-check for us: Are we seeking the blessing more than the one who gives the blessing?  If so, then we can’t expect God to bless us – because we’re not ready to handle it.  Giving a child too many gifts doesn’t mature them, instead it spoils them and the relationship between the child and the giver. 

However, even if we mature to the point God blesses us at the level described in Psalm 112, as great as this life would be to live – admittedly, no one is perfect.  And no one’s life is perfect, even if your heart is confident, trusting in the Lord.  The psalmist knows this, and interestingly added one more verse to close out the psalm:

Psalm 112:10
The wicked one will see it and be angry; he will gnash his teeth in despair.
The desire of the wicked leads to ruin.

Just because you’re on God’s side and He’s blessing you…doesn’t mean you’ll be free from struggles or drama.  The wicked one – the person living contrary to God’s design – will see the life of the person God has blessed.  Instead of rejoicing and celebrating with them, the wicked one will become enraged…and may even act on their feelings, lashing out toward those who live righteously.

But in the end, despite any opposition they face, the one who trusts in the Lord knows that his heart is assured; he will not fear.  He isn’t shaken due to circumstances or situations or opposition from those who are living in rebellion against God.  Why?  Because he trusts that God will have the final victory and that in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.

That kind of life is worth highlighting.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Panic cleaning and God

At some point in our adult lives, we’ve all been there.  Someone is on their way over to your house, and dread sets in as you look around the house and realize that it looks a bit more “lived in” than what you care to show to the world.  The house might not be a disaster, but the level of clutter and unfinished tasks isn’t how you want to welcome someone into your home.  The unexpected drop-bys might be the worst moments for this.  How many times have you been in a conversation and something like this has been said:

·       Oh good, you’re home.  Do you mind if I swing by right now to borrow that thing from you?
·       Hey, just to warn you…a couple of coworkers are going to swing by later tonight.
·       My parents said that they want to stop by on Saturday. (you’re told this on a Friday night)
·       I told my baseball team that they can come over after practice.

And what do we do when we are thrust into these kinds of moments?  In our family, it’s called a “panic clean”.  We frantically run around the house tidying up anything and everything that we can in whatever time we have left before the unexpected guest arrives.  How familiar does this sound:

A quick sweep of the floor (not enough time to mop), if you’re lucky – run the vacuum, definitely get a load of dishes going (and shove some of the dirty ones into the oven), every stack of paper that you’ve been intending to get to is shoved into one stack and taken to a room you’re certain the guest will not go into, and on and on and on.  And, of course, there is the obligatory statement when the guests finally arrive (even if you managed to do a decent clean up job):

Sorry the house is a mess.

However, the “panic clean” is only a surface cleaning; and, at best, it is a coverup of how we actually live.  Running around like that, to either “save face” or make a “good impression”, never really addresses the root issue of how and why we live cluttered, messy lives.

If we’re honest, we tend to treat God the same way.

We think that we have to clean ourselves up before God will accept us.  We tell ourselves that God would never want someone who numbs themselves with alcohol, binge-watches bad reality TV, uses profanity, or has lost track of their body count.  We convince ourselves that we’re unworthy of God’s attention (let alone His love), and that God has better things to do and better people to spend time with than us.

But when we’ve hit our rock-bottom, and we have nowhere else to turn…we start to bargain with God:

I’ll dump all the alcohol down the drain and start going to church again.  God, if you help me here, I’ll stop cussing and saying mean things to my coworkers.

We think that we have to “panic clean” to cover up enough, so that God might listen to us and send a little compassion our way.  We do this because we’ve forgotten what Paul told the believers in Rome:

Romans 5:8
But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

He’s already accounted for your sin – all of it.  What you did in the past, what you’ve already done today, and sins you’ll commit in the future.  For us modern believers, ALL of the sins we’ve committed were in the future when Jesus died on the cross.  He took humanity’s failings upon Himself, so that we can come to Him, without the “panic cleaning” and bartering.  There is no negotiation needed, our sin-penalty has been paid.

Instead of bargaining, Jesus offers this:

Matthew 11:28-30
Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

He didn’t say “Come to Me, all who are full of energy and have their lives together.”  If you’re weary from trying to pretend that you’ve got it all under control, and if you’re burdened by the fear of someone finding out you’re not as great as you appear – there’s no need to “panic clean”.  Just as you are, Jesus says, “Come to Me.”

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - Help! I married my opposite.

Help! I married my opposite.
Originally posted on September 23, 2021  

At one point, I was very interested in personality traits and tendencies.  I read up on different personality assessments and took a number of assessment quizzes.  The results of one particular Myers-Briggs assessment included pairing of your personality type with others, so that you would know what type of person would be your “best friend”, “marriage material”, or “likely competition”.  Curious, I convinced my wife to take the test.

Three of her four traits were opposite mine…and I couldn’t find our pairing in any of their categories.  Not friend, not foe, not hiking buddy, not marriage partner, not even preferred acquaintance.  Finally, after bouncing around multiple pages on their website, I found their one-word description of a relationship between my set of four traits and her set of four traits: novelty.

According to the personality typing, she thinks I’m oddly intriguing.  I see her the same way.  “Opposites attract” – it’s a culturally accepted norm that all of us have plenty of experience with.  We certainly came from different families, and we’ve had our share of differences to work through over the years.  When you boil it all down…she’s an artist and I’m a nerd…and a prime example of our differences is in how we express and receive love. 

If you’re familiar with the Five Love Languages (Gift Giving, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, and Physical Touch), you’ll probably empathize with what I’m about to say.  My love language is not the same as my wife’s love language…in fact, hers is probably my lowest ranking choice and mine is probably her lowest ranking choice.

I think I’m quite simple to love…after all, as an Acts of Service lover, just do something for me and I feel loved by you.  A clean home, laundry done, and dinner on the table makes me the happiest person on the planet.  Whereas my wife desires Physical Touch – hand held lovingly, hugs, cuddles, closeness.  Problem is…I’m not a touchy-feely person.  If you initiate a hug, I’ll reciprocate, but don’t expect me to go seeking one out.  On the flip-side, my wife’s clue that dishes are today’s priority is when we’ve run out of cups or skillets.

So we run into the constant problem: if I’m not reaching for her hand, giving hugs, etc. then she’s even less inclined to do something for me.  And if she’s not helping me out, I’m even less inclined to initiate loving contact with her.  It’s a vicious cycle, really.  It doesn’t start spiraling down out of spite or meanness…just the normal everyday busyness pulls us away from actively thinking about how the other person receives love.  When we’re distracted, we default to acting out in the way we want love to look like…I keep busy doing things around the house “for her” and she reaches for my hand “for him”…and those actions are easily misinterpreted. 

So, the question is…Who gives in first?  Who makes the first “loving move”?

When writing to the church in Ephesus, Paul spent the first two-thirds of the letter describing the relationship between Jesus and the church.  This relationship was previously a mystery (Ephesians 3:3-4), there is unity (4:4-6), there is diversity of gifts (4:11-13), and it results in a new way of living (4:17-5:21).  Paul wraps up his main discussion by giving the highest earthly example of the relationship between Jesus and the church – marriage. 

Ephesians 5:21-22, 25
Submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord…Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her

To answer our question, it would be easy to quote the above verses and say “See!  We both should swallow our pride and selfishness.  We need to think of the other person first.”  And I understand that sentiment.  I see the verses above.  Who should make the first move?  Whichever of us is more mature and humble in the moment.

However…I can’t help but notice two things.

1.       When I read the entire marriage section in Paul’s letter (5:22-33), he talks a lot more about how us men need to love our wives than he does about wives loving their husbands.  Paul places the burden on us to love our wife just as much as we love and care for ourselves.

2.       If I look at the timeline of when the church loved Jesus vs when Jesus loved the church – I find that Jesus loved first.  And if I’m to love my wife just as Christ loved the church…again, Paul is placing the first-step responsibility on me.

Then, I am reminded of other verses like these:

1 John 4:19
We love because He first loved us.

Romans 5:8
But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Jesus loved us before we could do anything to deserve it.  He loved us when we thought ourselves unlovable.  He continues to love us, even when we are unlovely. 

So, fellas…I have to break it to you: we are the ones who should move first and show our wife the love she needs in the way she needs it.  Even if you don’t understand why she likes the kind of love communication that she does.  Get her a little gift, run the vacuum, block out your schedule to do something with her, compliment her, or – as I need to do – take her hand and give her a hug without being asked to.

It’s not wrong if she beats you to the punch and speaks your love language first – just speak hers back.  Opposites do attract, but they stay together only when we’re intentional with how we show our love.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I hate the phrase “It’s the journey, not the destination”

Some things sound really nice – until you stop and think about them.

“Listen to your heart” and “You do you” are common mantras of our day…but, they are flawed thinking.  If we’re honest, we can’t fully trust our heart because it has lied to us before, and always selfishly doing what I want leads to a dead end called “loneliness”.  As much as these two phrases cause me to roll my eyes whenever I hear them, there is another one that feels more like a cheese grater underneath my skin:

It’s the journey, not the destination.

It sounds nice, and people who say it mean well.  They want to emphasize the growth and praise the development a person experiences in life, as opposed to looking at all the big things they haven’t accomplished despite their hard work and life lessons learned.  Celebrating smaller steps can often give us the courage to take the next step – and I get that.  However, the real problem is that we’re not dealing with an either/or proposition here.

To minimize, or even ignore, the destination leaves us wandering around in life, bouncing from one feel-good moment to the next.  Left to our own devices, humans will not choose a harder path – unless there is a clear benefit to doing so.  Not only does that benefit become our “destination”, but the destination also guides the path to reach the benefit. 

If you want to go to Maui, Hawaii, there are many paths that can get you there – and each one has its own journey-lessons available – but, there is only one Maui, Hawaii.  Either you get there, or you don’t.  Even if you decide along the way that your “new destination” is Denver, and you apply all your “Maui journey lessons” to your new life in Denver – you’ll never get to enjoy the beauty of Maui and the opportunities that awaited you there.

The same “it’s the journey, not the destination” thinking can muddy up how we live our lives as Christians.  It is too easy, as believers, to think that just because we’ve believed in Jesus for eternal life and He’s promised us that we’re going to heaven…then God’s good with whatever we do, right?  Wrong.

Jesus repeatedly warned His disciples that how they lived their lives would matter in eternity.  He told them to “store up for yourselves treasure in heaven” (Matthew 6:20), which logically means that the “treasures” aren’t heaven, it must be something else.  Something that they earn now and has value for them later in eternity.

Jesus’ longest recorded sermon (aka “The Sermon on the Mount”) focuses entirely on how to live with His Kingdom in mind and how to earn those treasures in heaven.  You can read it in Matthew 5:1 – 7:29.  He ends the sermon with an application challenge – for those who listened to Him to choose: either put His teachings to use and be like a wise man who builds his house upon a rock solid foundation or ignore what He taught and be like a foolish man who built his house upon the sand.  While this parable has its own fascinating teaching, I want to focus on something He said just before this, which has a similar intention:

Matthew 7:13-14
Enter through the narrow gate.  For the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who go through it.  How narrow is the gate and difficult the road that leads to life, and few find it.

Many have assumed that the destruction destination represents hell, and that the life destination represents heaven.  They say that “unsaved people” walk the broad road, and “saved people” walk the narrow road.  Reading these verses in isolation, I can see how you could come to these conclusions – however, Jesus did not speak them in isolation.  This mini-parable is part of the same closing statements as the builders parable, which closes out The Sermon on the Mount.

The correct understanding is to recognize (based on the context) that all the travelers in the parable are believers.  The Greek word for destruction is apoleia, which can also be translated as “ruin”, is the destination of those who take the wide, easy road.  Only those who choose the difficult road of being a disciple will find the full quality of life that Jesus desires for us to live. 

We can choose to be a lazy child of God or we can choose to put His Sermon on the Mount teachings into practice.  The easy road will take us to a place of ruin and destruction – a life of wasted opportunity.  The difficult road leads to a full life now, with rewards and opportunities in eternity future.

Each day, we can choose which road to walk.  But be mindful of the destination when making that choice.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I fell down the YouTube hole…again…

I woke up this morning and my mind was racing.  Which is unusual for me, because I typically wake up clear-headed and ready to roll into the day.  But this morning was different, and by “different” I mean “different-bad” not “different-good”.

My mind was full of voices, echoes of pieces from conversations…all jumbled up and talking over each other.  As I scrunched my face and tried to blink my way to a clear mind, I realized that I could recognize some of the noise going on inside my brain – there were bits and pieces, phrases and words, from the YouTube videos I had watched the night before. 

The previous evening, my wife and I decided to go on an impromptu date night…mainly because neither of us wanted to cook, and we both wanted out of the house.  We went to a nicer restaurant than we typically go to, and we had a great time.  The food was delicious, the waitress was just the right amount of attentive and helpful, and we had fun conversation with just the two of us.  However, after we got home, we both settled into the living room.  She started reading on her phone, and I decided to pull up a couple of videos on YouTube.  Nothing out of the ordinary.

But…then one video led to another…and then another…and then I started watching Shorts, which are the YouTube version of Instagram’s Reels or TikTok’s videos.  Watching Shorts can be especially dangerous because of how easily they can be flipped through.  The algorithms are professional-grade at keeping and holding one’s attention.  Just enough variety and familiarity to keep a person hooked.

When I came up for air, I suddenly realized it was just before midnight.  After unintentionally spending hours mindlessly being entertained, I had to go to bed.

When I awoke, my mind hadn’t fully processed everything from the night before, and I was left with a cacophony of voices and video clips running laps between my ears.  I had intended to start the next blog post this morning, but I could barely think straight…let alone consider thinking through sharing any of God’s Truth to you.

So what did I do to settle and clear my mind?  I went to God’s Word.  Specifically to a passage I know well, but need to apply more:

Romans 12:1-2
Therefore, brothers and sisters, in view of the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your true worship.  Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

Actively presenting our bodies (which would include our minds!) as a living sacrifice is tough – because sometimes, this “living sacrifice” wants to crawl off of the altar and go do whatever he wants to feel good in the moment. 

I was also reminded of what Paul wrote to the believers in the city of Philippi:

Philippians 4:8
Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable – if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy – dwell on these things.

Many of the videos and shorts that I watched last night would fit into these categories, but many others would be classified as “neutral” or “of no value”.  It’s not just the content that distracts the mind…the volume of time spent is also a huge mental influence.

This isn’t the first time I’ve spent too much time on social media…and the answer isn’t to stick my head in the sand, never go on the internet, and miss out on many of the available positives (like writing for you, finding good smoked food recipes, or how-to-fix-stuff videos).  So, I see this as not a problem to be solved, but a tension to be managed.

The real question is, What do I want?  Do I want to know what the Creator of the Universe is up to, or do I simply want to be entertained by a flashing screen?  If I want to know what the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God is, then this living sacrifice needs to crawl back up on the altar and be transformed by the renewing of my mind. 

God’s telling us – the battle for our minds is the key to everything.  So, what is your mind dwelling on?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

I was warned: Don’t go there

We don’t have a fenced in yard, so we walk our dog around our neighborhood twice a day.  Sometimes our walks will take us into the development next to ours.  Not too long ago, as the dog and I were heading down a familiar street in that other development, we spotted someone walking towards us on the opposite side of the road.  He was walking quickly, and I saw that he had a small tube holstered to his belt.

As we got closer, I recognized him as a neighbor from our development.  We’ve exchanged “hellos” a time or two, but I don’t really know him beyond that.  However, as we passed he stopped us and said something I wasn’t expecting to hear:

“Are you planning on walking down the next street?  I’ve been stopping and telling people the last few weeks…because 3 weeks ago I was walking down there and there’s a house that has a vicious boxer out roaming around.  He bit me, and I don’t want anyone else to get hurt.  I hate that they don’t put him on a leash or try to contain him.”

I told him that we don’t normally walk down that way, but I appreciated the warning.  I then realized why he had pepper spray holstered to his side.  Our dog isn’t aggressive by nature, and I wasn’t sure how he would handle a large dog charging at us with teeth bared.  Even if he stood his ground, I wasn’t looking forward to pulling the two of them apart and then looking for a way to safely exit the situation.  Although it’s been a couple of years since we walked down the road he mentioned, I now have no desire to go that way at all.  It’s best to avoid that situation altogether.

His warning reminded me of another warning, one that King Solomon gave to his sons about the influence of the paths we choose.  To help his sons remember his warning, Solomon told them this story:

Proverbs 7:6-23
At the window of my house I looked through my lattice.
I saw among the inexperienced, I noticed among the youths, a young man lacking sense.
Crossing the street near her corner, he strolled down the road to her house at twilight,
in the evening, in the dark of the night.

A woman came to meet him dressed like a prostitute, having a hidden agenda.
She is loud and defiant; her feet do not stay at home.
Now in the street, now in the squares, she lurks at every corner.
She grabs him and kisses him; she brazenly says to him,

“I’ve made fellowship offerings; today I’ve fulfilled my vows.
So I came out to meet you, to search for you, and I’ve found you.
I’ve spread coverings on my bed – richly colored linen from Egypt.
I’ve perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
Come, let’s drink deeply of lovemaking until morning.  Let’s feast on each other’s love!
My husband isn’t home; he went on a long journey.
He took a bag of silver with him and will come home at the time of the full moon.”

She seduces him with her persistent pleading; she lures with her flattering talk.
He follows her impulsively like an ox going to the slaughter,
like a deer bounding toward a trap until an arrow pierces its liver,
like a bird darting into a snare – he doesn’t know it will cost him his life.

Solomon followed his story with this warning:

Proverbs 7:24-25
Now, sons, listen to me, and pay attention to the words from my mouth.
Don’t let your heart turn aside to her ways; don’t stray onto her paths.

The young man’s downfall began…because of the path he chose.  His actions weren’t accidental.  He specifically crossed the street near her corner before strolling down the road to her house.  He even knew the best time of day to just “be in the neighborhood”.  Solomon’s warning is clear: Don’t stray onto her paths!

Solomon’s advice is just as practical today as it was for his sons.  Recent workplace statistics, presented by Forbes, found that 40% of workplace romances involve cheating on an existing partner and 50% of respondents admitted to flirting with their coworkers.  We must recognize the paths we walk and the repercussions of the choices we make.  Actively safeguard your marriage.  Don’t respond to so-called “innocent” flirtatious advances and don’t give off any signals of your own.  Do not seek a listening ear from your opposite-gender colleagues when you’re at odds with your partner.  Many workplace romances begin due to comfortability and familiarity…but if you’re already taken, you need to be wary of becoming “too comfortable” or “too familiar” with the people you spend large portions of your day with. 

The consequences of this path are going to be deadly – to you, your relationships, your integrity, your reputation, your career, and your future. 

I’m warning you – Don’t go there.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - In need of peace

Given the recent political temperature, with questions swirling around the Democrat’s new nominee and the recent assassination attempt on former President Trump, these verses from Paul’s letter to Timothy have been on my mind. As we make our way to Election Day 2024, I do not expect these next months to be easy ones. That is why I took last week and this week to revisit this passage - there are lessons here that I still need to learn and apply. I think you’ll find them helpful and challenging, as well.

In need of peace
Originally posted on July 13, 2016

There doesn’t seem to be a lot of peace in the world right now.

So many problems that are not easily resolved, and the feelings heaped on top of the issues make them that much harder to sort out.  Hurt.  Injustice.  Anger.  Hatred.  Hopelessness.

There are also many competing ideas on how to solve these issues and the feelings attached to them.  We hear a steady stream of suggestions: some advocate that the government should pass additional laws, some want retribution and violence, some want more of God, others are calling for less of God, and others still are looking to smaller ‘gods’ to escape – like money, stuff, isolation, the appearance of safety, anything to find what we are all deep down really looking for:

Peace.

I hear people say we should ‘Pray for Peace’ and send our ‘thoughts and prayers’ to those who need it now.  I also hear those who complain that ‘thoughts and prayers’ haven’t fixed anything, given that the tragedies keep coming.

So how’s a Christian supposed to handle all of this?  Once again, Paul’s direction to Timothy for the believers in Ephesus is helpful.  Notice that Paul recognizes our desire for peace in this life, but also look for what he says accompanies it:

1 Timothy 2:1-2
First of all, then, I urge that petitions, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for everyone, for kings and all those who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity.

The goal of our prayers for all those who are in authority is so their leadership will follow God and His design for human government.  The end result of that kind of leadership will heavily influence our ability to lead a tranquil and quiet life.  However, while the Ephesian believers are to pray for these things, Paul also expects them to live life in godliness and dignity.

Godliness can best be thought of as “God-like-ness” where we mirror the characteristics of God that He has shown us.  Things like mercy, grace, love, sacrifice, and forgiveness – when we understand what those words mean and how God shows them to us, then we can mimic those traits in our own life.  Being godly is displaying God-like traits to those who are completely undeserving of that kind of treatment, just like God has done for us.

When we imitate God this way, it doesn’t guarantee that everything goes perfect for us – or that we should pretend that everything is going perfectly, either.  When life goes sideways (and it will), how well we are connected to God is on full display.  Being godly and acting with dignity is sure to stand out in the turmoil going on around us.  We need to actively pursue God-like-ness while we pray for those same characteristics to show up in our leaders.

So don’t give up.  Take Paul’s advice to Timothy and make petitions, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings…for everyone, for kings and all those who are in authority.  Not because the act of praying changes anything.  Do it because you know the power of the One you are praying to. 

And then let’s get out there and reenact the qualities that God has shown us – mercy, grace, love, sacrifice, and forgiveness – for people that don’t deserve it…because, like them, we didn’t deserve it, either.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite - Praying for those in authority

Given the recent political temperature, with questions swirling around whether or not President Biden is fit to remain the Democrat’s nominee and the recent assassination attempt on former President Trump, these verses from Paul’s letter to Timothy have been on my mind. As we make our way to Election Day 2024, I do not expect these next months to be easy ones. That is why I’m taking the next two weeks to revisit this passage - there are lessons here that I still need to learn and apply. I think you’ll find them helpful and challenging, as well.

When I wrote this post back in 2016, recent surveys stated that the average American Christians prays for 8 minutes per day. Studies current to 2024 are indicating that time is now roughly 5 minutes per day (and in some demographics, even less than that).

Praying for those in authority
Originally posted on July 08, 2016

Whom do you pray for?  When you petition God the Father, which person do you talk about the most?  Given that the average person prays about 8 minutes per day, that’s not a lot of time to discuss other people.

If I were to measure, from most to least, the time I spend on the people I talk to God about it, the list would look pretty close to – myself, my wife, my kids, my job, my extended family (sometimes), people in my church (occasionally), and then a rare ten seconds for people I don’t know who are dealing with circumstances that deep down I’m thankful I’m not personally going through.

Looking back on that list, I see a whole lot of me.  Myself, my wife, my kids, my life’s circumstances.  It’s low hanging fruit to bash myself for being so self-oriented toward God.  I’ve heard many preachers, when teaching about prayer, make the point that we’re too self-focused.

On the one hand, though, it’s hard to pray for people we don’t personally know.  We don’t know their issues and hang-ups.  We don’t know where they struggle, so it feels a little hollow to continually pray “God help them…with…their stuff”.  But just because it feels awkward or difficult seems like a flimsy reason to exclude those outside of my life’s circle from being brought up before the Creator of Heaven and Earth.

On the other hand, when I look back over my list and I look at the motivation behind the ‘me’ and the ‘my’, it comes down to the fact that I’m looking for peace in my life and the world around me that I know.  I desire for life’s events to go well.  I don’t mind the work involved, provided I can see that the outcome is beneficial.  Deep down, I long for the time when sin won’t derail what God made us to do, and I’m asking God for just a taste of that now.

So which approach is better?  Praying about my stuff (which I know all too well) or praying about other people’s stuff (which I don’t know hardly at all) ?  We could talk circles around these questions for quite a while and do nothing but increase our frustration level.

Perhaps instead of getting all twisted up about what we’re bringing to God in prayer, we should focus on what subjects God tells us He wants to hear about in our prayers.  Paul gave direction on what topics Timothy and the church in Ephesus should be bringing to God.  Remember, Ephesus wasn’t a ‘Christian’ city.  It didn’t have God-focused government.  Their history, laws, and business practices weren’t Biblically rooted.  It was a cosmopolitan metropolis with people from all over the known world passing through.  Their ideas of ‘higher powers’ in the world primarily came from Greek and Roman gods, Egyptian gods, pagan gods, and Jewish myths.

So, how does the one true God expect a Christian to pray in the midst of all that?

1 Timothy 2:1-2
First of all, then, I urge that petitions, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for everyone, for kings and all those who are in authority

Paul tells Timothy that every subject we could possibly communicate to God – needs, discussions, interventions, and thankful acknowledgments – are all fair game when talking to God about our stuff and everyone else’s stuff.  But what I find interesting here is that Paul calls out a very specific group of people that the Ephesian believers shouldn’t forget to pray for – kings and all those who are in authority.

While I might pray that a certain candidate win an election, how long has it been since I petitioned God on behalf of President Obama?  Or prayerfully interceded on some issue between God and the President?  Or thanked God for something the President has done? 

But Paul didn’t just specify the top individual in a society as being the subject of our prayers, he said to pray for all those who are in authority.  Honestly, I don’t recall ever petitioning God on behalf of our town’s mayor or city council.  It’s very rare that I have asked God to send the gospel message to our county representatives or, for that matter, even the local school board.

Paul’s point is that those who have authority in our society need us to approach God on their behalf.  Paul is serious about this, too.  He’s urging believers to pray for leaders.

I think we’re going to need more than 8 minutes.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

A better way to pray for each other

Can I be honest with you for a minute?

Not that I’m ever dishonest with you…but there’s a common practice in Christian circles that really bothers me, and I’d like to take a moment here to get it off my chest.

It’s about how we handle prayer requests when we’re in a group setting.

Whether you find yourself in a circle of volunteers, a Sunday School class, a “small group”, or a “community group” – towards the end of the meeting time, a leader typically asks if anyone has any prayer requests.  While I love the idea of offering to pray for the other people I’m serving with or those who I just had a deeper-level spiritual discussion with, it’s the variety of answers that come back…that’s where I’m struggling.

“My sister-in-law’s friend is going through a divorce.  I would appreciate prayers for that.”
“My co-worker’s mother just died.  Please pray for their family.”
“My neighbors are going through a situation that I can’t go into detail about right now.  So, an ‘unspoken’ prayer request for them.”

After a few of these requests, I’m sorry…but I get lost.  It’s hard to remember the names of people I don’t know or be able to petition the Creator of the Universe(!) on behalf of situations I know almost nothing about.  When these kinds of prayers are requested, what is typically prayed?  Some mumbled version of

“Dear God, please help them…with…their stuff…that they’re dealing with right now.  You know the details…and we trust that you’re going to…make this better somehow.  Amen.”

Those are some weak words, my friends.

That may feel harsh to read, but there is a better way to handle group prayer requests.  When someone offers up one of these “distantly-related-to-me” prayer requests, gently redirect them with these questions:

How can we pray that God will work through you in their lives? 
How can we pray for God to equip you to show His love for them?

Questions like these make the situation tangible for both the requestor and those who are present.  We are much more likely to pray again later for our friend Hillary than we are going to remember to pray for Hillary’s sister-in-law’s friend’s divorce.  Similarly, we will gladly pray for Jeff to comfort his co-worker, or for Jessica to love on her neighbors.

Keeping the prayer requests to just those in our immediate group has a dramatic impact on what we say to God and how we say it.  In that moment, not only are we lifting each other up in prayer, but we’re actively engaging God together.  These kinds of prayers will bind a group of people together with a shared petition and a shared purpose.  AND…later on, it gives us a point to reconnect with each other:

Hey Jeff, I’ve been praying about you with your co-worker.  How’s it going?  How have you seen God show up?

When you get the rest of the story from Jeff, you both have something to celebrate together – that God answers prayer.  This builds our connection with each other, our community’s connection with God, and it builds our faith in God.

Isn’t that a much better outcome than praying one-time for a generic “unspoken” request?

But…if someone still insists that you pray for their brother’s-coworker’s-son (you know it will happen), we can at least look to an example from the Apostle Paul, when he prayed for people he didn’t know in a church that he hadn’t visited yet:

Colossians 1:9-12
For this reason also, since the day we heard [about you from our friend], we haven’t stopped praying for you.  We are asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding, so that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him: bearing fruit in every good work and growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, so that you may have great endurance and patience, joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has enabled you to share in the saints’ inheritance in the light.

Paul doesn’t pray for their comfort, their preferences, or against their hardships.  He prays that God will mature them and as they grow closer to God, they will better reflect Him to the world.  Those are not weak words. 

So the next time you’re in a group and someone offers up a prayer request for a distant connection of theirs, be brave and gently ask how you can pray for them in that situation.  And if you’re still not sure how to pray for someone, then feel free to pull up Colossians 1:9-12 and pray those words for them.  We’ll better honor the God we pray to, and we’ll become more connected with each other in the process.

Keep Pressing,
Ken