Preparing is good, but only to a point

This past Sunday, I stepped in to guest-preach again.  This was Week 2 of a 7-part series through the book of Philippians called “Level Up Your Life”.  I arrived early to do a run through with the tech crew and band.  As I was setting down my things, my sound guy turned and asked, “Are you ready to go up there today?”  His question was full of encouragement and support.  I could tell he was genuinely happy for me to step up and teach.

In reply, I quoted this proverb from King Solomon:

Proverbs 21:31
A horse is prepared for the day of battle,
but victory comes from the Lord.

I went on to explain that I’d practiced as many times as I could throughout the week prior, and I felt good about teaching the lessons I had learned from Paul’s letter to the believers in Philippi.  My text was Philippians 1:12-30.  In this section, Paul discusses his house arrest confinement in Rome and how he’s dealing with it.  He was sent by God to preach all over the known world, but now he was confined to a small house, chained day-and-night to a Roman soldier.  I focused on how Paul handled his stuck situation and used his example as one that we can follow when we are stuck, as well.

I knew the rhythm and timing I wanted as my message would move from story, to text, to teaching, to an occasional joke thrown in.  I told the volunteer running the slides when to expect me to pause on a verse to teach and when he could expect me to read several verses in a row. 

During the week, my practice sessions varied in their approach.  Sometimes, I would read the text out loud from my Microsoft Word document.  As the week went on, these sessions became run throughs with just the verses I would use for slides, and no notes.  I also tried something new: while doing other activities around the house, I used Microsoft Word’s read aloud function – as a way to reinforce the pattern of the Scriptures and the flow of my message points in between.

My goal with all the practice and the run through was to ensure that I wasn’t the focus of the message.  I wanted God’s Word to speak and be the star, with me being there for support and to provide context and clarification.  If I hadn’t prepared, then I would have risked losing my train of thought or missed a point altogether – either of which would have taken the focus off of God’s Word and could have caused confusion for those who listened on Sunday.

While I wanted to be as prepared as possible – as much as a horse is prepared for the day of battle – I had no control over how those who heard the message would choose to apply it.  That is the real point of preaching – to explain the Scriptures and inspire the listeners to action.  How the hearers respond is God’s work with them, and not my work to do.

My delivery on Sunday went well, because I was well prepared.  If you’d like to watch the message, you can watch it here.  From some of the feedback I have received, I can tell that God’s Word is working on their hearts and in their minds.  That is the real victory.  I’m simply happy to do my small part and partner with God as He does His big part.

My questions to you, then, are

Where are you partnering with God right now? 
How are you serving others, either at a church service or outside of a church’s meeting?
What can you do ahead of time to help you prepare to serve as effectively as possible?

Just showing up and “winging it” does a disservice to those we are trying to serve.  Preparing ahead of time helps us keep the focus off us and on God, which is where it belongs.  Being prepared also helps us keep in mind our responsibilities vs God’s responsibilities.  Blurring those lines leaves us feeling like we need to always “get a win” or “close the deal”.  Instead, it’s better to stick to our role – be prepared, serve faithfully, and let Him handle the victories.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

He’s more than they realized

Throughout Matthew’s account of Jesus’ life and ministry, he recorded a lot of events.  When you read through his text, he quickly moves from one setting to the next.  A story, then an interaction, a crowd teaching, then a confrontation, next a healing, and on and on and on.  The transition between most events can feel like switching scenes from a movie or TV show. 

There is one significant event that Matthew captures in just 5 verses – when Jesus stilled the storm.  This incident took much longer to unfold in real time than the time it takes to read, but there’s still a lot to notice in these few verses:

Matthew 8:23-27
As He got into the boat, His disciples followed Him.  Suddenly, a violent storm arose on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves – but Jesus kept sleeping.

So the disciples came and woke Him up, saying, “Lord save us!  We’re going to die!”

He said to them, “Why are you afraid, you of little faith?”  Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm.  The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this?  Even the winds and the sea obey Him!”

Hardened, trained, experienced fishermen thought they were going to die – that’s how big this storm must have been!  The Sea of Galilee was, and still is, infamous for its sudden, violent storms.  While several of the disciples knew this and had survived many of its storms, this one was too much.  And of all things – Jesus was sleeping!

When the harried disciples finally woke Jesus up, He simply told the winds and the waves to “Knock it off” and they stopped.  Immediately, there was clear skies and calm waters.  What I want to note is the question Matthew recorded the stunned disciples asking each other: What kind of man is this?

According to Dr. Thomas Constable:

The Israelites viewed the sea as an enemy that human beings could not control. Throughout the Old Testament it epitomizes what is wild, hostile, and foreboding. It stood for their enemies in some of their literature.

The stilling of the storm is the first nature miracle Matthew records in his gospel.  What is interesting to note is that the ability to calm the seas is a characteristic that the Israelites believed only God could do.  Here is just one of the texts representing their understanding.  Notice how closely the details of this psalm matches Matthew’s account:

Psalm 107:23-32
Others went to sea in ships, conducting trade on the vast water.
They saw the Lord’s works, His wonderous works in the deep.
He spoke and raised a stormy wind that stirred up the waves of the sea.
Rising up to the sky, sinking down to the depths,
their courage melting away in anguish,
they reeled and staggered like a drunkard,
and all their skill was useless.

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
and He brought them out of their distress.
He stilled the storm to a whisper, and the waves of the sea were hushed.
They rejoiced when the waves grew quiet.
Then He guided them to the harbor they longed for.

Let them give thanks to the Lord for His faithful love
and His wonderous works for all humanity.
Let them exalt Him in the assembly of the people
and praise Him in the council of the elders.

So, the disciples’ question of What kind of man is this? may actually have been more of a rhetorical question than one of simple bewilderment.  Through this miracle, they were beginning to realize that the rabbi they were following may actually be the God-man the nation had been waiting for.

For us, we should absolutely cry out to God when we’re in trouble and in need of rescue.  When He provides a way out, don’t take His provision for granted.  Instead, reflect on what God has done and realize that His ability to rescue is just a glimpse of who He is.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

A Hall of Famer’s biggest regret

I’ve loved watching NFL football and the Kansas City Chiefs since I was a kid in the early 90s.  One of the Chiefs’ biggest rivals has always been the Denver Broncos.  There have been epic, back-and-forth matchups between the two teams over the years, with superstars and Hall of Fame-level players on both sides.  While I may not care much for Broncos players when they’re playing, I’ve always maintained a level of grudging respect for their good players.

However, one player always bugged me.  I never liked his attitude, his mouth, or the fact that he was so stinkin’ good – his name was Shannon Sharpe, and he played the Tight End position.  He’d talk trash, back it up, and then talk some more.  He never stopped talking, and his persona was always larger-than-life.  On the field, he was close to unstoppable.  He was the first TE to reach over 10,000 receiving yards, and he won 3 Superbowl Championships in his career.  Life was much easier for my Chiefs once he retired in 2003, after playing for 14 seasons.  He was elected to the ProFootball Hall of Fame in 2011.

During an interview in the spring of 2023, Shannon Sharpe was asked an interesting question, and his answer was much more transparent than I expected.  He was asked “What advice would you go back and give yourself as a rookie?”

Here is his reply:

What would I tell myself?

I don't know. Honestly guys, from the time that I made it [to the NFL], everything was about football. I ate, I slept, I breathed, I talked football.  And I think…I was terrible at a lot of things, except football. I was terrible at being a brother, terrible at being a son. I was terrible at being a father. I was terrible at being a boyfriend.

I was terrible at all of those, but I was a damn good football player.

Probably…I wish I could, look, I would go back, if I could tell my rookie self…I would say, “the way you judge success” because everything that I look at now is judged by success.

And that's the only thing. And so even my relationships now, here I am about to be double nickel [55] in about four months, is still judged by success. And so I would say, “Shannon, everything that you've accomplished doesn't mean anything, because you don't have anybody to share it with.”

That's what I would tell myself. I would do it…if I would do it over again. I would find that one person [to share life with]…and that's what I would do.

Of all the things he could have told himself as a rookie – the most important message he wanted to send back is that our relationships are the top, lasting priority.  You can hear his regret as he spoke about all the relationships he was “terrible” at.  Despite all the fame, money, and football glory he enjoyed…the missing link, as he sees it now, was a wife to share it with.

His comments bring to mind a few Scriptures:

Genesis 2:18, 24
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper corresponding to him.”…This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.

Proverbs 31:10
Who can find a wife of noble character?
She is far more precious than jewels.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-11
Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts.  For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.  Also if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one person alone keep warm?

God made us to be relational beings – we really do need each other.  We were created to have a spouse, and there is a strong desire in us to find that special, unique connection between a man and a woman.  Unfortunately, we’re often bad a recognizing how much of a priority this connection needs to be.  We let many things get in the way, but the value of having “someone to share life with” surpasses all other achievements, awards, or personal experiences. 

I encourage you to ask yourself the following hard questions:

What priority-level do relationships have in my life?
If they should be a higher priority, what immediate steps will I take to fix that?
If I believe they are prioritized correctly, what am I actively doing to keep them there?

Don’t get to the point where you look back on your life and realize that all your “success” wasn’t very successful because you failed to prioritize your relationships along the way.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

The unfairness of it all

Have you ever been wronged so badly, that you were stuck in a negative situation?
Have the actions of others caused you to be separated from those you love?
Have you ever felt like the legal system is stacked against you?

Injustice can hit us from many different angles.  Often times, there isn’t an easy solution to the situation, either.  Since we live in a fallen world, we can’t completely stop injustice from ever happening.  It’s all too easy to snap-react out of self-protection and the elevated emotions of the moment.  Instead of getting caught up and swayed by our circumstances, let’s think about how we’re going to handle unfair situations.  Looking to how others managed their situations can help us manage our own.

The Apostle Paul knew what it was like to suffer injustice.  He was railroaded out of Judah for preaching about Jesus.  After appealing his case to Caesar, he was transported to Rome – and left under house arrest for 2 years!

Think about Paul’s situation.  He had a specific calling from God to preach the gospel to the non-Jewish world.  He preaches for years in Antioch, with great success.  He takes three mission trips, traveling all over the Mediterranean, making converts, starting churches, writing letters that became Scripture, creating disciples, mentoring, teaching, and on and on.  Yes, he faced dangers and threats on his life – but he was able to move from community to community and share Jesus with anyone who would listen.

But now, he’s stuck.  He can’t leave.  People could come to him, but if one of his mentees or planted churches needed him…he can’t go to them.  He can’t face their opposition with them.  His spiritual children will not have their spiritual father by their side.

How would you feel in this situation?
What would you do?
How would you bide your time until your court date arrives?

It would have been easy for Paul to get lost in the helplessness of the situation, sulk, and withdraw.  Or he could have chosen to rant and vent about the unfairness of it all.  I could easily imagine myself fluctuating back and forth, between those extremes.  But what did Paul do?

He started to write.

During that two year period of house arrest, Paul produced four of the letters that you and I now read as vital, God-inspired Scripture: Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, and Philemon.  These letters address situations, doctrinal beliefs, and practical Christian living in ways we don’t find in the rest of the New Testament.  Part of me wonders how different the letters would have been, or if Paul would have written the letters at all, if he had not been unfairly stuck in house arrest.  (Of course, God in His sovereignty would have found another time or author to communicate His truths…but it would not have been the same as what we have now)

All four letters reference his current “stuck” situation, but he says the most curious perspective-setting statement in his letter to the church in Philippi:

Philippians 1:12-13
Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually advanced the gospel, so that it has become known throughout the whole imperial guard, and to everyone else, that my imprisonment is because I am in Christ.

Are you telling me…that Paul sees his experienced injustice – as a good thing?

He had been wronged.  The legal system was against him.  Those in power had not done the right thing when they had the chance.  And as a result of all this, he was stuck.

But in his stuck-ness, Caeser’s whole imperial guard has now heard the good news that Jesus gives eternal life to all who believe in Him for it.  The injustice put him in a position that actually advanced the gospel.  Others had hoped to hinder the good news from spreading, but God used the situation to actually do the opposite.

So, let’s go back to our earlier questions, now that we see from Paul’s example what God is capable of:

How would you feel when you experience injustice?
What do you do?

However, this is the main question we should be focusing on:
How will you make your unfair situation about advancing the gospel instead of only searching for a way out of it? 

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Larry absolutely schooled me

When I was in high school, the place to hang out in our small desert town was simply known as “the Sports Complex”.  I honestly don’t remember if that was what its name really was…it’s just what we all called it.  The Sports Complex was way out on the north edge of town, but it was worth the drive to get there.  It had bowling, pool tables, a basketball court, and a tennis court.  We spent most of our time either shooting pool or playing pickup games of basketball.  Not that we were any good at either of them, mind you, but we had fun competing.

One day, there was only three of us to play basketball, so we could only shoot around.  Then an older guy we didn’t know asked if he could join in.  When I say “older”, I’m guessing he was in his mid-to-late 50s…and to us teenagers, he was definitely older.  He looked the part, too, with a head full of shaggy grey and white hair, about 5’7” with a thin frame.  His addition meant that we could play some 2-on-2, so we agreed.  My best friend and I paired up, while the older guy paired up with our other friend.

Now, keep in mind, that both my friends were taller and more physical than me, so it made sense that they would play the post, while Larry and I would play guard.  I settled in to play some defense and was immediately shocked at how quick Larry was.  His dribbling skills were much more sound than the level of competition our friend group had, and while he couldn’t outrun me, he kept me off balance and made great passes to set up his teammate.  He hustled on every play, with me chasing him around the court.  When I had the ball, his defense was tight, but me being the younger guy, I had a slight edge when it came to strength and speed…but my lack of ball skills kept me from making the best passes or consistently hitting shots when I had the open opportunity.  I did ok on offense, but Larry shredded my defensive attempts every time.  My best friend was visibly upset at how often I was getting beat, but there was nothing more I could have done to stop him.

After a few games, I went out to the food counter where the Sports Complex owner worked.  I was soaked in sweat and out of breath…I told him I needed to sit down for a minute and have a Gatorade.  He asked if I was alright, and I told him how I was getting absolutely smoked by Larry.  He chuckled and said, “Yeah, he does that to a lot of the young guys out here.”

I’ve come to realize that my encounter with Larry was a perfect illustration of a principle Solomon tried to teach his sons:

Proverbs 24:5
A wise warrior is better than a strong one,
and a man of knowledge than one of strength

Even though I had an advantage when it came to strength and speed, Larry’s wise use of his knowledge and skills easily defeated me.  But we can see that Solomon’s principle is applicable to more than just basketball, because he continues:

Proverbs 24:6
for you should wage war with sound guidance –
victory comes with many counselors.

Relying solely on our own skills actually hinders us, because it keeps our options and ideas limited to what we can come up with…instead, Solomon directs us to seek out many counselors and their sound guidance.  If we’re going to set out to “win” at anything…going at it alone is not recommended.  Doing so will guarantee that when you run into a “Larry” you will have no more answers than I did to his challenge.

If I had asked Larry for advice on how to guard him better, I’m certain that his response would have been “practice more, and then we’ll talk”.  But I also learned a valuable lesson that day – never judge an old guy’s skills just because he looks “old”.  Since then, I’ve encountered many wise warriors who may not have looked the part, but they were people with incredible strengths.  I was fortunate to have many of them speak sound guidance into my life.

Joe used to always tell me, “I’ve already made all the mistakes.  If you listen to me, you won’t have to make them, too.”  He was absolutely right.  He helped me avoid many pitfalls that a young married father could have succumbed to.  Now that I’m a little older, I’m starting to say the same thing to younger folks, hoping to spare them, as well.

So, tell me, do you have wise counselors in your life?
Or, better yet, are you a wise counselor for others?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Flashback Favorite: Receiving personal instruction

I didn’t realize how unique the situation was at the time, but one of my favorite college experiences became a great lesson when studying the Bible.

Receiving personal instruction
Originally posted on June 19, 2015

In one of my year-long college courses, I was fortunate enough that the professor who taught the class had also written the text book.  This might not seem like a big deal from the outside looking in, but it made a huge difference in how we learned from him.  We knew that what he taught us in the morning was going to be reiterated in the same style and with the same emphasis as we read the text in the evening. 

Prof could easily explain how the different sections fit together and even cross-referenced chapters as we were being taught.  He knew the exact layout and intention of each part of the text because he was the one who had put it all together.  There was never any conflict between the teaching and the text – they were from the same man.  Not only was the text well-written for the subject matter, but the class became almost like a personal tutoring session with the author.

We get the same dynamic as we go through the Scriptures.  Although it took hundreds of years and many different authors to complete the text, God superintended the process such that it all hangs together as one, and communicates truth directly from the Creator of Everything to each of us individually.

The author of Psalm 119 did more than just acknowledged this reality of Scripture – he enjoyed it thoroughly.  Take a look through this section and note the role God’s Word plays in the author’s relationship with God.

Psalm 119:97-104
How I love Your teaching!  It is my meditation all day long.
Your command makes me wiser than my enemies, for it is always with me.
I have more insight than all my teachers because Your decrees are my meditation.
I understand more than the elders because I obey Your precepts.
I have kept my feet from every evil path to follow Your word.
I have not turned from Your judgments, for You Yourself have instructed me.
How sweet Your word is to my taste – sweeter than honey to my mouth.
I gain understanding from Your precepts; therefore I hate every false way.

The psalmist doesn’t distinguish between communicating with God and reading the Scriptures, they are interactions with the same person.  The psalmist gives the reason why he follows what God has taught him when he says for You Yourself have instructed me.  He trusted God’s teaching because it was coming from God Himself.  Nothing was second-hand, there was no need for an interpreter or any guess-work.

And just look at the results of this personal instruction from the Lord – success over enemies, gaining insight and wisdom, the ability to avoid every evil path, gaining understanding, and he can also recognize every false way.  The psalmist has become fully mature because his instruction has been taken directly from the Lord.

The Lord will mature and develop us as well.  He’s ready to give each of us personal, one-on-one instruction.  The teacher and the text are from the same person.  As much as the teaching or writing of others can sometimes help, there is nothing like direct communication and instruction from the Author of Life.  He knows how it all works and why it all works.  

We have an open invitation to be instructed by God Himself.  Will you accept the invitation and meet Him in the Scriptures?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

You first, not me first

A friend of mine pays careful attention to his diet.  So much so, that he inspects labels before purchasing items from a grocery store, and he also analyzes online menus when considering a restaurant for a date night with his wife.  What is he so diligently on the lookout for?  Wheat and gluten.  But not because he’s allergic or has any sensitivity to it.  In fact, he’s perfectly fine to eat a large bowl of spaghetti and meatballs. 

So why does he go through all that work, constantly monitoring what food is allowed in his house and asking pointed questions of restaurant staff about their kitchen protocols – when he doesn’t really need to?

He does these things because his wife has both Celiac and Crohn’s disease.  Accidently ingesting even a little bit of wheat or gluten would be devastating and extremely painful for her.  Of course, she is on a strict wheat-free and gluten-free diet.  So, in turn, is my friend.

He’s giving up a large portion of his food options in order to protect his wife.  He doesn’t have to, really.  He could tell her that she’s on her own for keeping “her food” separate from “his food” and then go on to eat all the pasta, pretzels, and cakes that he desires.  Instead, he has set aside his rights and preferences in order to meet her needs.  He’s a huge fan of Mexican food, especially flour tortilla burritos, so living the wheat-free and gluten-free life is an admirable sacrifice…but one that he believes is completely worth it because of whom he’s doing it for.

My friend is a great example of what it looks like to put someone else first – something we Christians are repeatedly called to do in Scripture.  Here’s just one example:

Philippians 2:3-4
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.  Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.

It’s obvious to see how my friend is living out this command in his marriage.  He is considering her situation, a dietary syndrome that she has no control over, to be more important than his opportunity to eat whatever he wants, whenever he wants.  It’s not just a one-time sacrifice for him, either – it’s every day, for the rest of their lives. 

This “you first, not me first” attitude can be applied in any area of our lives, and it can show up in both big and small ways – perhaps as simple as giving the TV clicker to someone else to choose the next show, asking for (and actively listening to) someone’s opinion or experience before sharing your own, or jumping in to regularly help at church or a local non-profit. 

OR…if you want to go for this “you first, not me first” lifestyle in a BIG TIME manner…resolve now to let other cars merge into your lane.  Even if they don’t deserve it.  Even if they are driving like a jerk.  Even if you really want to “teach them a lesson” by speeding up and not letting them in.

What we often don’t realize is that the “you first, not me first” actions – even when grudgingly done – carry more weight than just the benefit to the recipient.  Each time we put someone else’s needs before our own desires, we are rewiring our brains to take the focus off of ourselves.  This mindset takes practice and time to fully mature, but once it does…the mindset becomes the default guide for all our actions.

If you continue reading Paul’s letter to the believers in Philippi, you’ll find that this “you first, not me first” lifestyle is one that God honors and rewards.  Since God doesn’t take His offer of rewards lightly, neither should we.  To get there, all we need to do is take our focus off ourselves (whether the situation means adjusting our diets or letting people merge).  These are sacrifices worth making, all because of whom we’re doing it for.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Not like father, not like son

About 10 years ago, I was having a conversation with one of my sons about serving in the church.  He was clearly agitated as we talked, and he steadily became even more bothered as the conversation went on.  I had asked him a few times what was bothering him, and when he was finally able to wrap words around his anxious feelings, he blurted out, “I’m not going to be able to write like you!”

“I never said you had to.” I quickly retorted.  However, in that moment I realized…somewhere along the way and throughout the years, my son believed that my service example was “the best way” for any Christ-follower to serve.  Or, at least, he thought that the best way for a Clouser-kid to serve must be to follow exactly in his father’s footsteps.  Truthfully, I had made a conscious effort to not put that kind of pressure on him – however, given his outburst of a response, he must have been thinking and feeling that internal stress for some time.  

We can all relate to what he was feeling, though.  We all want to measure up to our parents’ example, and we easily self-flog when we feel that we’ve fallen short of their accomplishments and abilities. 

For this month, I’ve embarked on a Bible reading plan that takes me through all 150 Psalms and 31 chapters of Proverbs.  I’ve often followed the easy plan of reading a chapter of Proverbs that matches whatever day of the month it is – so I read Proverbs 1 on the first day, Proverbs 15 on the 15th day, etc.  However, adding in 5 or so Psalms per day along with the daily chapter of Proverbs felt like a worthy goal.  After about 10 days of this reading plan, I made an interesting observation, based on the authors for these Scriptures:

Psalms is a collection of five songbooks that ancient Israel used for worship.  A variety of authors contributed individual songs – or psalms – to the collection, but the vast majority of them were written by King David.  Based on the musical comments David left at the beginning of his psalms, we recognize that he wrote these songs all throughout his life.  There are psalms from when he was a shepherd, when he was running from Saul before he became king, psalms when he faced coup attempts, and psalms about the prosperity of the nation.  Writing songs that could be used for individual or corporate worship was an impressive skill that David had, developed, and used to serve God and help others do so, as well.

Proverbs is a collection of wisdom sayings and teachings that ancient Israel used for learning and instruction.  A variety of authors contributed their short, clear wisdom sayings – or proverbs – to the collection, but the vast majority of them were written by King Solomon…who was King David’s son and successor.  Solomon’s lifelong quest for wisdom and understanding can be seen throughout the books that he authored – Proverbs, Song of Solomon, and Ecclesiastes.  Recording his findings in a way that is both practical and memorable was an impressive skill that Solomon had, developed, and used to serve God and help others do so, as well.

Stylistically, Psalms and Proverbs couldn’t be any more different.  The psalms are dripping with raw emotion, often concerned with the immediacy of a conflict in the moment.  The proverbs take a clean, logical approach to situations and often focus on the big picture of a person’s life.  David and Solomon did not have the same expressive style and service skillsets.  When it came to communicating God’s truths and writing Scripture, the son was definitely not “a chip off the old block”.

Even though David and Solomon had different temperaments and communication styles, they still communicated the same truths from God.  Here is just one example:

Psalm 54:1-5
God, save me by Your name, and vindicate me by your might!
God, hear my prayer; listen to the words from my mouth.
For strangers rise up against me, and violent men intend to kill me.
They do not let God guide them.

God is my helper; the Lord is the sustainer of my life.
He will repay my adversaries for their evil.
Because of Your faithfulness, annihilate them.

David is pulling no punches here.  He is not mincing words.  His feelings are perfectly clear – God, I want you to annihilate my enemies.  Don’t try and sugarcoat this wording.  David wants his enemies to be exterminated.  He probably wouldn’t mind seeing them suffer on the way out, either.

Now, compare David’s song with a couple of Solomon’s proverbs.  Don’t get caught up in the brevity of the proverbs – they are purposefully short and pithy.  Instead, recognize the similarity of truth in both passages:

Proverbs 11:6, 8-9
The righteousness of the upright rescues them,
but the treacherous are trapped by their own desires.

The righteous one is rescued from trouble;
in his place, the wicked one goes in.

With his mouth the ungodly destroys his neighbor,
but through knowledge the righteous are rescued.

Both David and Solomon recognize the conflict between those who follow God and those who do not.  Both David and Solomon acknowledge the verbal threats coming from their enemies.  Both David and Solomon recognize that God is the reason for their rescue.

This is but one example of father and son exploring the same topics with their differing skillsets.  There are plenty more comparisons that could be made between the psalms and the proverbs.  I’m thankful that both books are available to us, so we can reap the benefits of these different approaches that point us back to the same God.  Father and son didn’t have to serve the same way – in fact, it’s better for us that they didn’t.  Some of us find comfort in relating to the psalms, and some of us gravitate more towards the proverbs.

Nowadays, both my boys are serving God – in ways that I never did at their age and in settings that are different from each other.  They have skillsets that I don’t and they reach others that I can’t – and that’s a good thing.  I’m certain you can say the same thing, too, in the ways you serve others with the skills and abilities that God has given you.  Because ultimately, no matter how we serve, we’re all pointing people back to the same God.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

A parent’s biggest worry

If we surveyed 100 parents and asked them their biggest concern about their children becoming adults, I would expect that one of the top answers would be that the parent is uneasy about how their child will navigate life on their own.  Will they make wise choices?  Will they be so foolish that their lives are forever changed?

Underneath these worries about our children, us parents also have a few worries about ourselves: Was I a good enough role model?  If they mess up big, am I a failure as a parent?

When these thoughts arrive, we’ll often quote and cling to a famous proverb:

Proverbs 22:6 (ESV)
Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.

While we can find some comfort from this verse, we must keep in mind that the proverbs are probabilities, not promises.  Children sometimes go astray.  They can – and do – make choices against a parent’s values. 

A significant example of this fear becoming reality is found in the life of King Joash of Judah.  When he was an infant, Joash was rescued from a murderous coup of his family’s rule.  He was raised by a foster-father, the priest Jehoiada.  Now, Jehoiada was a very godly man, who protected Joash and kept him hidden from the usurpers until he was seven years old.  When the time was right, Jehoiada led the charge against the usurpers, re-establishing Joash and his family to the throne.  Jehoiada led several reforms to bring the nation back to God and to life under God’s laws.  You can read this story in 2 Chronicles 22:10 – 23:21.

As king, Joash followed in his foster-father’s footsteps.  He did what was right in the Lord’s sight, and he personally led the massive project to repair the Lord’s temple.  However, when Jehoiada died at 130 years old…Joash went completely off the rails.  He listened to the wrong people, abandoned his relationship with the Lord, and began worshipping other gods.  The nation slipped further into corruption and wickedness, and although God was angry with them, He did reach out to King Joash:

2 Chronicles 24:19
Nevertheless, He sent them prophets to bring them back to the Lord; they admonished them, but the people would not listen.

After multiple prophets came and went, with no change of heart by King Joash or the people, there was one last appeal made – by Jehoiada’s son, Zechariah:

2 Chronicles 24:20-22
The Spirit of God enveloped Zechariah son of Jehoiada the priest.  He stood above the people and said to them, “This is what God says, ‘Why are you transgressing the Lord’s commands so that you do not prosper?  Because you have abandoned the Lord, He has abandoned you.’”

But they conspired against him and stoned him at the king’s command in the courtyard of the Lord’s temple.  King Joash didn’t remember the kindness that Zechariah’s father Jehoiada had extended to him, but killed his son.  While he was dying, he said, “May the Lord see and demand an account.”

Less than a year later, Joash lost a battle against a smaller army.  He suffered significant wounds, and his servants assassinated him.

What a tragic story!  Even Shakespeare couldn’t write a more catastrophic, heart-breaking tale. For King Joash to order the murder of his foster-brother, in the courtyard of the temple that he restored under Jehoiada’s support and guidance…the scene absolutely blows my mind and wrenches my heart.

With this story, we see the hard truth that our children are responsible for their life-choices.  Despite Jehoiada’s input and guidance, Joash still made his own choices. 

Does that make Jehoiada a failure as a parent?  No, it does not.  Within this tragic account, we also see the positive fruits of Jehoiada’s parenting and mentoring in his son Zechariah.  Both of Jehoiada’s boys chose their own path – one chose to walk away from God, the other chose to walk with Him.

Relationships take time and intentional effort to be happy and productive, and our relationship with God is no different.  Our faith in God (our willingness to trust Him) is like a muscle, and it needs to be exercised or else it will atrophy.  At some point, each of us must stop borrowing the faith of our parents or mentors, and then believe for ourselves.  Influence your children as you can while you’re still here, but also teach them to understand and exercise their own faith in God. 

Maybe that was Joash’s fatal flaw – that he never believed God on his own, instead he relied on Jehoiada to believe God for him.  But whatever it was that caused Joash to walk away, it was his choice – and not Jehoiada’s fault.

As difficult as it is – to let our adult children be fully responsible for their faith and how they live their lives – you and I expect to do that in our own life, apart from our parents.  Let’s give our adult children that same space and autonomy.  Our part will be to keep the lines of communication open, pray for them, and be a positive influence.  Doing these three things will go a long way towards bringing them back after they choose to wander away.

If you would like additional assistance, I would highly recommend the book Doing Life with your Adult Children by Jim Burns.  He expertly covers a wide-range of topics for this new stage of life.  In fact, if your child is in high school, I’d even recommend reading it now, so you can be better prepared for their upcoming transition to adulthood. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken

He was yelling, and I didn’t know why

A few years ago, I was driving down the center lane of a three-lane road in town.  Whenever I’m stopped at red lights, I often look around the area, just to see what’s going on.  Occasionally, I’ll sneak a peak at the other drivers, just to see who I’m traveling with.

At one particular red light, I looked to my left and the guy driving the car next to me immediately caught my eye.  He was alone, but he was forcefully spitting out words and tightly gripping the steering wheel.  His face was set on edge as he spoke, and his body was tense.  However, it didn’t appear that he was mad at anyone or another car in the vicinity.  He was definitely yelling, but what he was saying couldn’t be heard from where I was in my vehicle.

We were both heading the same direction in a mass of other vehicles, so it wasn’t all that difficult to stay near him for a block or two.  His behavior didn’t change, and I began to imagine different scenarios that would cause a person to behave this way.

My first thought was that he was on the phone and was chewing someone out.  That situation certainly fit his behavior.  And if that was the case, I feel bad for whoever was on the other end of that phone call!

But then I begin to think of other situations – maybe he was just singing along with some really angry music, perhaps he’s in a play and he was rehearsing lines for an unbearable character, or possibly he felt stuck in life and just needed to vent when he thought no one was looking or could hear.

The truth is, I had no idea what he was going through or why he was acting the way he was.  I was just another person in a different car that got a 30-second glance into his life.  And I don’t think I was getting his life’s highlight reel, either.

If I had simply gone with my first assumption – that he was angrily chewing someone out – I could imagine a whole backstory to judge him for the time I witnessed his actions.  If we then ended up at the same place, how would I treat him?  Or…how would I describe him to someone else?  “Hey.  You wouldn’t believe the crazy angry guy I saw driving today.  He was giving somebody the business, let me tell you!”

Beyond not assuming someone’s story or whatever battle they are internally fighting, the whole situation brought to mind something that Paul wrote to the believers in a town called Colossae:

Colossians 4:5-6
Act wisely toward outsiders, making the most of the time.  Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person.

Would it be wise of me to assume the guy next to me is an angry jerk that had no issue with chewing someone out?  Honestly, I didn’t have enough information to make that kind of assumption.

But if I never saw him again (and as far as I know, we’ve never met), what harm is there in making up backstories and then playing out those situations in my mind? 

The potential for harm wouldn’t be isolated to the guy who never noticed me observing him.  Instead, it’s bigger than that.  I’d be setting my mind on a negative path where I am morally superior to him, and I would be ready to gossip about him and my made-up story to others.  When I step back from doing so, it’s clear that this line of thinking is not making the most of the time I have.  Embellishing on a 30-second snippet of his life would not help my speech to always be gracious to the other people I would be talking to that day. 

Imagine again, that I snapped a 30-second video of his behavior and posted it for the world to see.  With my imagined-story framing, he could be insta-famous for just having a bad moment on a bad day.

So let’s be careful with what we imagine about others, especially if we have very little information to go on.  Making rash assumptions will prevent us from knowing how you should answer each person or handle each situation.

Keep Pressing,
Ken