Again: More than just thoughts and prayers

Ten months ago, I wrote the following post after the Uvalde school shooting. This past week, a similar tragedy occurred in Nashville. The names and location are different, but I still believe this post contains the right prescription for us to effectively end school shootings:

More than just thoughts and prayers
Originally posted on May 26, 2022

This past week had yet another school shooting.  In Uvalde, Texas, 19 students and 2 teachers died as the 18 year old gunman walked the halls of the school.  But this event has brought greater feelings of anger and grief…this wasn’t a bullied teen who was out to get revenge on those who were tormenting him…instead he walked into an elementary school with the intention to do as much harm as possible.  That’s sadistic.  That’s appalling.  That’s really difficult for us to process.

Unfortunately, the national conversation over the next two weeks will be largely predictable as everyone – whether directly impacted or distantly aware – wrestles with this event.  There will be calls for legislation.  There will be debate of individual’s rights.  There will be questions about mental health care.  Fear, anger, and hostility will characterize most discussions.  Some will simply withdraw to avoid the tension.  In the end, though, not much is likely to change on the national level.

Without a doubt, nothing can be said to comfort the grieving families that lost their children.  And we know that.  We often express our condolences, our grief, and our concern by posting on social media or telling the families that “our thoughts and prayers are with you”.  But let’s be honest, shall we?  Do our sad thoughts for the victims and their families really change anything?  And what is the content of our prayers?  Dear God, please stop school shootings from happening.  Amen.  What do we expect God to do with that?  Do we ask Him to fix our nation, and then sit back and wait for some miracle to happen?  Or hope for common sense and niceness to simply dawn on everyone?

If we want real, lasting change in society…it’s going to take some work.  Fortunately, God provided us with an example in the life of a man named Nehemiah.

When family came to visit Nehemiah, he asked about his homeland:

Nehemiah 1:3-4
They said to me, “The remnant in the province, who survived the exile, are in great trouble and disgrace.  Jerusalem’s wall has been broken down, and its gates have been burned.”  When I heard these words, I sat down and wept.  I mourned for a number of days, fasting and praying before the God of the heavens.

An ancient city with no walls had no protection, and its citizens would be in constant danger.  They were easy pickings for raiders, armies, or anyone to take and kill as they pleased.  Nehemiah mourned, fasted, and prayed – all natural, good responses – but he didn’t stop there.  He took action.

Nehemiah obtained a leave of absence from his job and secured supplies to help rebuild the city.  He traveled a great distance to his homeland, and he rallied people to the most important task at hand: rebuilding the city wall.  However, you’ll find in the account that Nehemiah didn’t build the whole wall, and neither did his crew.  What you’ll read in Nehemiah 3 is that multiple groups were responsible for building and/or repairing sections of the wall.  Here’s a small example:

Nehemiah 3:3-4
The sons of Hassenaah built the Fish Gate…Next to them Meremoth son of Uriah, son of Hakkoz, made repairs.  Beside them Meshullam son of Berechiah, son of Meshezabel, made repairs.  Next to them Zadok son of Baana made repairs.

Next to them…beside them…Next to them…they all worked together, but they each focused on their specific section of the wall.  When you read through the entire chapter, you find that people from all walks of life were doing the work: rich and poor, politicians, priests, goldsmiths, servants, even one district ruler was specifically called out because of how he and his daughters took care of their section.

Later on, when they were under deadly threat from surrounding opposition, Nehemiah organized the people into shifts of those who would continue to work on the wall and those who would stand ready at the walls most vulnerable places, to defend the city should their enemies attack.  They took their turns, standing in the gaps, and they were able to rebuild the wall in 52 days.

The connection I’d like to make between people of Nehemiah’s day and how their actions can be applied to our current crisis is this: they worked to rebuild their part, and they stood in the gaps when called upon.

No new law will change the reason why Salvador Ramos picked up a gun.  Our sad thoughts and trite prayers after the fact aren’t going to make any lasting change.  If we’re going to see change, we the people will have to get involved in the lives of children before they reach the point that they reach for a weapon.

There are so many gaps in society.  So many places for people to fall through the cracks and be forgotten or ignored.  If we try to take in the enormity of it, we are quickly overwhelmed.  However, just like we saw in Nehemiah’s example, we don’t have to fill all the gaps on our own.  But it’s time we each took our shift.

Find a local ministry or program and volunteer at it.  Homeless shelter, YMCA, or an after-school program…find the children and befriend them.  They need to be seen, cared for, and listened to. 

If you still need suggestions, here are a few I would personally recommend.  If these are local to you, please find a way to get involved.  If they are not local, find something similar that is nearby.  These are various-sized programs, each with impact in different portions of society:

Chestnut Mountain Ranch – Providing a Christ-centered home and school for at-risk boys, their aim is to restore broken families, giving these young men hope and a future.

Libera, Inc – They support women and teens through listening groups, love packs for foster kids, student body safety assemblies, and counseling services.

Family Room – They provide support for foster families with clothing, bedding, toys, games, and supplies for foster kids at no cost

Established Family Recovery Ministries, Inc – When an addict enters rehab, they provide support and resources to the family through mentorship, financial assistance, and addressing practical needs.

Feeding Lisa’s Kids – Once a month, they provide food for families with children who are facing food insecurity.

There are lots of gaps.  Don’t wait for the government to pass a law to fix it.  Don’t complain on social media and do nothing in the real world.  We need to properly grieve the Uvalde tragedy, so mourn, fast, and pray as you need to…but don’t stop there.  It’s time for you and me to take action.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

The wrong refuge

Financial advisor Dave Ramsey recommends taking a two-step approach to building an “Emergency Fund.”  First, save up $1,000.  Then, after you pay off all debt (except your house), your next Emergency Fund target is 3x-6x your monthly expenses.  When my wife and I first learned about this approach, it didn’t take much effort to reach the first step – we paused eating out, rearranged some spending habits, and probably sold a thing or two we weren’t using.  Paying off all consumer debt took a while, but when we finally made it, we stumbled hard on the saving up for 3x-6x our monthly expenses.

Admittedly, we lost momentum…and it was our fault.  We had freed up a lot of space in the monthly budget by getting out of debt, which gave us the flexibility to do more things than we had previously.  Haphazard saving would bring us up a little bit – then life would happen, the Emergency Fund would take a hit, and we’d start building again.  Eventually, years later, we finally hit 100% of the 3x goal.  And let me tell you – it felt great!  It was so nice to know we were very prepared for potentially sizeable emergencies. 

And then…as it always does…life happened.  Our 3x goal wasn’t 100% funded anymore.  We were sitting maybe 50-60%.  While I was grateful that we could handle the situation without going into debt, I began to notice that I was feeling “less ok” about our financial situation.  My thoughts went along these lines: I’m glad we were prepared to take a 50% hit, but it’s going to take some time to build that back up.  Another 50% size hit (or bigger) would be devastating.  And I began to feel anxious about what to do next, and my mind swirled for days around how quickly we could recover.

I hadn’t realized that while we were building up the Emergency Fund, I was slowly becoming dependent upon the amount in the Emergency Fund as validation of our (my) ability to take care of our (my) family.  It wasn’t until after the Emergency Fund took a sizable hit that I discovered how much I viewed it as our rescue in tough times.  As I thought through these feelings, I also remembered the times when I was doing the budget, I’d look at the Emergency Fund with a small amount of pride: Yeah, that amount looks good.  Look how much we (I) have prepared us for any unforeseen issues.  While I wouldn’t brag about it to others, I certainly gave myself a mental pat on the back for the on-going achievement status.

But let’s be honest and think about this realistically…God got us through plenty of other times when our Emergency Fund was much less than the 50% it was at that moment.  That’s not a reason to avoid setting aside 3x-6x of our monthly expenses for emergencies, but there’s always the possibility that an emergency will come along that has a greater price tag than any amount we could save.  My faulty thinking was that the Emergency Fund was our (my) salvation and our (my) glory.  Our rescue and proof of success shouldn’t have been tied up in how much money we had in the bank.  The whole situation really wasn’t a money issue…instead, the money revealed a heart issue that needed to be dealt with.

As we’ve progressed through Psalm 62, David and Jeduthun have pointed out the evil that others can do against us.  In these next verses, they continue to point us toward the right response:

Psalm 62:7-8
My salvation and glory depend on God, my strong rock.
My refuge is in God.
Trust in Him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts before Him.
God is our refuge.
                                           Selah

God is the only one who is stable and secure.  When I trust Him with my present and future circumstances, then my soul finds rest and refuge from whatever difficult circumstances or trying people come my way.  No other person, place, or thing will satisfy my need for refuge – because there’s always the possibility that the situation could be larger than I can prepare for.  But with God as my focus and my trusted rescue, I know I am secure.

Let’s not forget that the Israelites used the psalms during the temple worship service – for singing, praying, and meditating.  That’s something for us to consider doing as well:

Has what we’ve been singing lately sounded anything like these verses?
Have our recent prayers recognized our dependency on God?

If we answered “no” to one or both of these questions…perhaps we should consider meditating on how much we need to depend on God.

While you’re meditating, pour out your heart to God.  All of it.  He can handle it. 

We find rest and refuge in Him when we do.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Feeling stuck

We never purposely navigate into a bad situation.  We start new things with the expectation that they will bring opportunities or beneficial relationships – new job, new house, new love interest, new school.  But when the newness wears off, and the situation isn’t what you expected, what is your response?

Are you tempted to bail out?  But what if you can’t – you moved to a new state for this new job, or you signed a 30 year mortgage, or you want to follow through on your wedding vows, or you’ve already paid for your tuition.  Even if it’s hard to stay…oftentimes, it can become harder (in different ways) if you leave.  So, how do you feel? 

Stuck. 

Nobody likes the feeling of being trapped in a bad job, bad situation, or bad relationship.  How do you handle feeling “stuck”?

We’ve been looking at a psalm co-authored by Jeduthun and David.  As we progressed through the song, we see they are definitely stuck with opponents who are trying to take them down.  Let’s review what we’ve read so far:

Psalm 62:1-4
For the choir director: according to Jeduthun.  A psalm of David.

I am at rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my stronghold; I will never be shaken.

How long will you threaten a man?
Will all of you attack as if he were a leaning wall or a tottering fence?
They only plan to bring him down from his high position.
They take pleasure in lying;
they bless with their mouths, but they curse inwardly.
                                           Selah

And now for the next part of the psalm:

Psalm 62:5-6
Rest in God alone, my soul, for my hope comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my stronghold; I will not be shaken.

This is the main point of the psalm, so it certainly bears repeating…especially after looking at how the world often treats those who choose to follow God.

The only difference between this chorus in verses 5-6 and what we read in verses 1-2 is the replacement of the word salvation (seeing God as our deliverance from earthly enemies) with the word hope (seeing God as the source of our confident expectation).  With both words – salvation and hope – David is looking to God for what only God can do.

As we read these words, we realize that David is articulating the deepness of his relationship with God.  David knows God well enough that he can depend on Him, even when faced with malicious liars who want to see him fail.  It is because of the deepness of this relationship with God that David can make the strong statements like my soul finds rest in God alone and he alone is my rock, my salvation, my stronghold and I will not be shaken.

Do we have that same level of confidence in God to take care of our situation…or when other people are causing us trouble? 

Is God the first one we turn to when we feel stuck?

The kind of relationship David writes about didn’t happen overnight.  David’s confidence in God didn’t miraculously appear in the middle of his difficult situation.  There’s only one reason David can fully rely on God in this situation – because prior to this difficulty, he has purposely invested time to know God.

And therein lies the questions for our own application:

If I’m facing trouble now, have I told God that I trust Him with it?
or
If I’m not facing trouble right now, am I taking steps to stay close to Him so I’m ready when the difficulties come?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

When feeling threatened

When was the last time you felt threatened?

That’s a provocative question, for sure.  But how quickly does a situation like one of these come to mind?

Did you feel threatened during a not-so-friendly competition at work?
Did you feel threatened when someone you thought of as a friend started attacking you?
Did you feel threatened when a relationship with your spouse, your child, or your parent went sideways?

What was your reaction to this feeling of being threatened, and what was your response to those circumstances?

However you handled it (for better or worse), know that you’re not alone in the experience.  Feeling threatened and figuring out how to deal with it is something we all must face.  It’s not new to the human condition, either.  Power struggles, at a personal level, have occurred throughout history.  So, it’s no surprise to find characters in the Bible dealing with threats to their safety, well-being, status, or position. 

After beginning Psalm 62 by recognizing God as the source of salvation, i.e. – rescue from life’s current circumstances – David and Jeduthun take a look at the world around them…and it doesn’t look like a safe place.  They have several questions as they confront those who are threatening them:

Psalm 62:3-4
How long will you threaten a man?
Will all of you attack as if he were a leaning wall or a tottering fence?
They only plan to bring him down from his high position.
They take pleasure in lying;
they bless with their mouths, but they curse inwardly.
                                           Selah

David and Jeduthun now introduce the main conflict, their earthly struggle with those who choose to do evil against them.  The assault is a constant barrage…those in support of evil are attacking the man of God, and their only plan is to bring him down, as if he were a leaning wall that only needed an extra push before falling over.

At the moment, their enemies aren’t physically attacking them.  Instead, notice what their main weapon of attack is –  their mouths.  Deceitful words pour out from the cursing within their own hearts.  The enemies’ lies are premeditated and aim to take David and Jeduthun down a notch.

If you’ve ever had someone bad-mouth you behind your back, I’m sure you can recognize David’s frustration here.  When dealing with two-faced people, it can be tough to figure out what their motive is and why they are spreading lies.  David’s question of How long will you threaten…? is dripping with aggravation.  How long will he have to put up with this?  How long will they try to get away with their slander?  How long until God steps in?

But then verse 4 ends with an obscure Hebrew term – Selah.  Although scholars aren’t 100% sure what this term means…many have suggested that it is a musical term to indicate a pause in the song, giving the ones singing a chance to stop and think about the song-writers’ point. 

And that’s a good idea…up until this point in the psalm, David has recognized that God is the source of his earthly rescue from trouble and that his enemies are continuously spreading lies about him.  Since we experience the same situations, here are some things to stop and think about:

Have you experienced malicious liars? 
Take a moment and think about how you have dealt with them in the past.
Take a moment and think about how God can rescue you the next time someone lies about you.
Take a moment and ask God to help you best respond when that situation happens.

Keep Pressing
Ken

Not the definition you would expect

Did you know that God has several different names throughout Scripture?

Each one has a specific meaning and representation of a character trait for who God truly is.  Modern translations represent the Hebrew names for God with a consistent naming rendition.  I study/teach from the Christian Standard Bible (CSB) translation; here is how God’s names are handled:

Hebrew – English
Elohim – God
YHWH (Yahweh) – Lord
Adonai – Lord
Adonai Yahweh – Lord God
Yahweh Sabaoth – Lord of Armies
El Shaddai – God Almighty

The Old Testament authors were intentional about how they approached God and how they wrote about Him.  We’ll need to keep this in mind as we begin to look at this psalm that David and Jeduthun wrote together:

Psalm 62:1-2
For the choir director: according to Jeduthun.  A psalm of David.

I am at rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my stronghold; I will never be shaken.

Looking through the entire psalm, we find that God is referred to as God six times, and Lord only once.

The Hebrew word for God is Elohim, which is a plural word in form, indicating majesty, but it is singular in meaning.  This name for God is typically used when the focus is on God’s great power – and it is that strength and power that David and Jeduthun are writing about.

The next thing to notice are the words they use to describe God.  Within these first two verses the descriptors of God include

our source of rest
our salvation
our rock
our stronghold

All of these descriptors sound great.  HOWEVER, we must not read our own church-age understanding of the word salvation into this text, even if at first glance it “seems to fit” because our justification-salvation is found in Jesus’ death on the cross.  Since we know that David and Jeduthun are the authors, this psalm would have been written approximately 1000 years before Christ was born.  Our reconciliation with God through Jesus’ death on the cross was not revealed at this time.  When reading passages from the Old Testament, we must be careful not to read New Testament uses of words back into the Old Testament writings.

So what do the authors mean here when they say salvation?

The term salvation in the Old Testament always refers to God’s ability to rescue – most often it refers to God rescuing the Israelite nation or an individual from their present circumstances.  When an OT individual was petitioning God for salvation, he wasn’t asking for his sins to be removed, he was asking for rescue from a dangerous or difficult circumstance by a Divine act.  It is with that understanding of salvation that the Israelites would have sung this psalm to God.

Let’s re-read the psalm – when you see God, think of His majesty and great power; and when you see salvation, imagine needing rescue from life’s circumstances:

Psalm 62:1-2
For the choir director: according to Jeduthun.  A psalm of David.

I am at rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my stronghold; I will never be shaken.

In these first two verses, David and Jeduthun are bursting with confidence in God.  We see how their word choices work together, vividly describing God as a place of strength and refuge in this life.

Is that how we view Him?

When life’s circumstances aren’t what we want them to be, do we have confidence in God’s ability to come through for us? 
Do we turn to Him for rest, or do we panic?
Do we recognize His strength to rescue us, or do we try to save ourselves?
Are we confident in Him, or are we shaken?

If you answered any of these in the negative (like I did), then let’s turn to Him now and recognize Him for the stronghold that He is.  If life is difficult right now, this psalm is a great reminder and perspective-shifter.  Even if life’s circumstances aren’t problematic right now, recognizing God for who He is in the good times prepares us for when the tough times come.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

An unexpected introduction

We’ve all had the experience where we’re just minding our own business, going about our day, when all of a sudden…we’re introduced to someone new.  A friend, co-worker, or family member brings this new-to-you person into your life saying, Hey, I’d like you to meet so-and-so.

Sometimes, reading through Scripture can be like that.  Sure, we’ve met all the big names – Jesus, Paul, Abraham, David – but there are scores of “minor” characters in the Bible worth meeting.   

Psalm 62
For the choir director: according to Jeduthun.  A psalm of David

Did you know that the directions at the top of a psalm are part of the scripture record?  Although usually skipped over, they can contain vital clues as to what the author’s intent was for the song.  Looking here, we see that David is the author.  In fact, he wrote the majority of the 150 psalms recorded in the Bible.

While many psalms have for the choir director in their header, this particular one has a certain person named as well.  From this we see that David is not going to do this psalm, this song to God, all on his own.  Even though David is fully capable of writing/performing by himself…this time, he wants to partner with someone, and he wants to do so with a specific person.

I think that’s a lesson we can all use…even if I am fully capable of using my talents to worship God and do it well (in anything – my time, my career, my talents, etc.), there is something special when we work with others toward the same goal of pursuing God.

So, who was Jeduthun?  Who was it that David wanted to partner with in this psalm? 

Here’s what Scripture records of him:

When David set up the tent to house the ark of God, he identified Jeduthun as one of two men to lead worship and lead their family members in other worship-focused duties:

1 Chronicles 16:42
Heman and Jeduthun had with them trumpets and cymbals to play, and musical instruments of God.  Jeduthun’s sons were at the city gate.

Later on we see Jeduthun again, while David was transferring his throne and kingdom to Solomon, and in preparation for the construction of the LORD’s temple in Jerusalem:

1 Chronicles 25:1,3,6-7
David and the officers of the army also set apart some of the sons of Asaph, Heman, and Jeduthun, who were to prophesy accompanied by Lyres, harps, and cymbals…Jeduthun’s sons: Gedaliah, Zeri, Jeshaiah, Shimei, Hashabiah, and Mattithiah – six – under the authority of their father Jeduthun, prophesying to the accompaniment of lyres, giving thanks and praise to the Lord…all these men were under their own fathers’ authority for the music in the Lord’s temple, with cymbals, harps, and lyres for the service of God’s temple.  Asaph, Jeduthun, and Heman were under the king’s authority.

During the dedication of the temple, we find this:

2 Chronicles 5:12-14
The Levitical singers dressed in fine linen and carrying cymbals, harps, and lyres were standing east of the altar; and with them were 120 priests blowing trumpets.  The Levitical singers were descendants of Asaph, Heman, and Jeduthun and their sons and relatives.  The trumpeters and singers joined together to praise and thank the Lord with one voice.  They raised their voices, accompanied by trumpets, in praise to the Lord:

“For He is good: His faithful love endures forever.”

The temple, the Lord’s temple, was filled with a cloud.  And because of the cloud, the priests were not able to continue ministering, for the glory of the Lord filled God’s temple.

Jeduthun was an eye-witness to the Shekinah-glory of God filling the temple.  In a later reference, Jeduthun is identified as the king’s seer (2 Chronicles 35:15), which means that he was one who was given special revelations by God and had access to share those revelations with the king.

These are some of the highlights for the man David wanted to partner with for Psalm 62.  From what we can see, Jeduthun was clearly accomplished and capable.  Jeduthun was gifted by God in music, prophesy, and leadership.  His use of these abilities gave him the opportunity to participate in and witness some of the most exciting moments in Israel’s history.  In addition to Psalm 62, he is specifically named in the header of two other Psalms (Psalm 39 and 77).

Even if we are not talented in the same manner as Jeduthun or have the same level of public ministry, we do need to make sure that we are using our specific gifts and talents for the LORD.  For certain, Jeduthun did not start out witnessing the glory of the LORD or serving as the king’s seer – those came later, after years of service to God. 

Likewise, we will never know what we will be able to participate in with God later unless we are faithful with our current opportunities.  So let’s use our talents and partner together now, and then see where God takes us.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: she is the example

This week, we’re wrapping up a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  We’ve seen that although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this series’ last blog post, we’ll look at how the book of Proverbs closes with an example of everything we’ve learned over the last nine weeks.

Interestingly, Proverbs 31 states that the chapter was written by “King Lemuel” and that this wisdom was given to him by his mother…but nothing else is known about either of these two people.  Some commentators theorize that King Lemuel was actually King Solomon, or possibly King Hezekiah, or even a fictional character made up by Solomon to demonstrate an ideal relationship between a king and his mother.

As we read through this descriptive example of a remarkable woman, look for the characteristics we’ve learned about from King Solomon:

Proverbs 31:10-31
Who can find a wife of noble character?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will not lack anything good.
She rewards him with good, not evil, all the days of her life.

She selects wool and flax and works with willing hands.
She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from far away.
She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household
and portions for her female servants.

She evaluates a field and buys it;
she plants a vineyard wit her earnings.
She draws on her strength and reveals that her arms are strong.
She sees that her profits are good, and her lamp never goes out at night.

She extends her hands to the spinning staff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
Her hands reach out to the poor,
and she extends her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid for her household when it snows,
for all in her household are doubly clothed.
She makes her own bed coverings;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known at the city gates,
where he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes and sells linen garments;
she delivers belts to the merchants.
Strength and honor are her clothing,
and she can laugh at the time to come.

Her mouth speaks wisdom,
and loving instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also praises her:
“Many women have done noble deeds, but you surpass them all!”

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.
Give her the reward of her labor,
and let her works praise her at the city gates.

That is an impressive description.  Here are the ways she addresses seven our proverbial life topics:

·       Truly generous: her hands reach out to the poor

·       Being intentional: she selects wool and flax…she rises while it is still night and provides…she watches over her household and is never idle

·       Dangerous infidelity: the heart of her husband trusts in her…charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised

·       Money struggles: she evaluates a field and buys it…she sees that her profits are good…she makes and sells…give her the reward of her labor

·       Societal obligations: she extends her hands to the needy…her husband is known at the city gates…let her works praise her at the city gates

·       Watch your mouth: her mouth speaks wisdom and loving instruction is on her tongue

·       Contagious attitudes: she draws on her strength and reveals that her arms are strong…she is not afraid for her household…strength and honor are her clothing

The remaining two topics we explored – “accepting correction” and “you need a friend” – do not have explicit examples in the author’s description.  While we do not want to force seeing them into the passage, I would contend that she couldn’t have become such a great example without friends and accepting correction along her path.

Now that we’ve read about and identified the qualities for the wife of noble character, remember that the book of Proverbs began with Solomon telling allegory stories of Wisdom being personified as a woman.  Finishing the book about wisdom-living with an exalted woman example creates an intriguing bookend to the entire collection of proverbs.

Whenever we come back to the book of Proverbs, we would be wise to take Solomon’s advice.  And if we want a tangible example of how these proverbs flesh out in the real world, all we need to do is read about the women at the beginning and at the end of the book.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: our contagious attitude

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that is easy for us to overlook: the impact of our attitude.

How quickly does someone else’s sour attitude twist your mindset and darken your thoughts?
How much better do you feel after talking with someone who genuinely smiles at you?
How short is your fuse when another person is unapologetically selfish in public?
Do anxious people make you feel anxious?
Can you think of someone who can change the mood of a room, for better or worse, just by walking in?

Unless we are on our guard and self-aware, we can be easily influenced by the attitudes we are exposed to.  Most of the time, the attitude shift comes from people we are in close proximity to, but we must also acknowledge that videos and clips of other people can also influence our mindset.

While we can look back and recognize times when another person’s attitude has had a profound effect on us…I think we tend to understate the impact our own attitude has on others.

Multiple times, Solomon addressed the contagiousness of an attitude from one person to the next.  When we read these proverbs, one side or the other will likely resonate.  However, the real skill in thinking through these wisdom sayings is thinking about yourself on both sides of the equation:

Proverbs 12:25
Anxiety in a person’s heart weighs it down,
but a good word cheers it up.

Are you someone who struggles with anxiety?  Do your cares weigh your heart down?  Are your fears (founded or unfounded) heavy on your mind?  If so, how much does a good word from a friend mean to you?  Admittedly, a simple check-in or conversation doesn’t cure your struggles…but empathy and compassion go a long way toward cheering your heart up.

But let’s flip this around…maybe you’re not anxious right now.  When you see someone who’s struggling (or attempting to mask the struggle), an intentional good word from you can literally be a life-saver.  However, it can be hard to know what to do when trying to help an anxious person…fortunately, Solomon gives us some guidance there, too:

Proverbs 15:30
Bright eyes cheer the heart;
good news strengthens the bones.

There are two ways to spread an attitude – through our facial expressions and our words.  Facial expressions can be tough to read because sometimes our faces betray us and don’t reveal where our minds are at.  As an example, I’ll admit to having “resting bothered face”.  I’ve been accused of being “too serious” or “too intense”, when I’m mentally at an even keel.  If you can relate, then we both should continue to work on our expressions when we interact with other people.  Bright eyes and a smile when we greet others will go a long way to communicating cheer and care, rather than them thinking we’re upset when we are not.

According to Solomon, the second way to spread a good attitude is to bring good news to others.  When someone asks how we are, do we lead with a depressing “Same stuff, different day” quip, or do we focus on sharing the good in our lives?

To further his point, Solomon offers this contrast:

Proverbs 17:22
A joyful heart is good medicine,
but a broken spirit dries up the bones.

There is nothing inherently wrong when we experience a broken spirit.  Many good things can come out of the hardest of hard situations in our lives.  However, prolonged living in such a state leaves us feeling like the life has been sucked out of us, or as Solomon aptly describes, feeling like dried up bones.  In those times we need someone to share their joyful heart with us, because their contagious attitude is good medicine.

Collectively, these proverbs leave us with a responsibility – and Solomon gives a stark warning about how much our words matter:

Proverbs 18:21
Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.

We remember words spoken to us.  You know which ones I’m talking about.  Words you’ll never forget.  They left a life-long impression on you, whether they were life-giving or life-taking.  So don’t discount the power of your words to influence another person’s life.  There is great power in the tongue, and our words and attitudes have the ability to out-live us.

The point of these proverbs is this: You are contagious.  Your mood, your tone, your body language...are all contagious.  What do you want others to catch from you?

I'm not telling you to fake anything or manipulate anybody.  But the attitude you choose will be reflected back to you and carried on by them...so...what attitude will you choose to share with other people?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: watch your mouth

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that trips us all up: what we say and how we say it.

Our words matter, and once they are said, there are no take-backs.  We have several familiar phrases in the English language to communicate this truth:

You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.
You’ve let the cat out of the bag.
You can’t unring that bell.

When Solomon was instructing his son about living wisely – how to skillfully apply knowledge to his earthly life – he frequently brought up the words his son would choose.

The first proverb we’ll look at might feel a little obvious…but sometimes we need to be reminded of the obvious:

Proverbs 11:13
A gossip goes around revealing a secret,
but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence.

Being labeled as a gossip or as a trustworthy person is a matter of verbal reputation.  You can be known as either one, but not both.  If you share another person’s secrets or words spoken in confidence, you are betraying the trust that was placed in you.  As long as keeping the secret does not bring harm to others, the best use of our words when another person shares confidential information is to not use them at all…in essence, being trustworthy is often a matter of us keeping our teeth together and saying nothing.

Next, we find Solomon addressing a common situation in life: what to do with an angry person.  Whether the anger is caused by Solomon’s son or if he happens to get caught in the cross-fire of another person’s issues, he’s going to have to navigate situations were other people are seeing red and are looking for a fight.  Curiously, Solomon does not tell him to fight fire with fire:

Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away anger,
but a harsh word stirs up wrath.

Anger is a secondary emotion.  While anger may be at the surface-level and more prominent, there is always a primary emotion found underneath, driving that angry response.  Perhaps they feel taken advantage of, or foolish, or embarrassed…whatever the root cause is, the angry outburst is almost never subdued by fighting fire with fire.  Matching anger’s intensity or deriding it with a harsh word only escalates the situation.  In these situations, Solomon wants his son to use his words to diffuse the tension – and a gentle answer is the key to doing so.

Admittedly, giving a gentle answer in the heat of the moment is hard.  Not saying anything and keeping another’s confidence is also difficult.  Thankfully, Solomon clues us in to how we can make sure our mouths are doing the right thing:

Proverbs 16:23
The heart of the wise person instructs his mouth;
it adds learning to his speech.

You’ve certainly heard descriptions of other people like, “Her mouth has a mind of its own.” or “He has a loose tongue.”  These phrases attempt to excuse a person for running their mouths or speaking before thinking…instead, Solomon says that our mouth can be instructed and trained by what we have in our heart.  So, time to do a heart check – What are you feeding your heart?  What are you learning so that you can grow and have mature speech?

The benefits of being wise with your words isn’t limited to just you.  Being able to manage your mouth is more than having a good reputation and being able to handle an angry outburst.  Solomon also tells his son that his mature words will be helpful to others:

Proverbs 16:24
Pleasant words are a honeycomb:
sweet to the taste and health to the body.

When someone speaks kind words, encouraging words, supportive words, or empathetic words to you…those are special.  They are sweetly remembered, like a mental candy, that we can retaste anytime we recall them.  Our words can make someone else strong, brave, open, and confident…healthy at many levels of the body – mental, emotional, and yes, even physical.

Words are powerful.  What comes out of our mouths can make or break someone.  How will you choose to use your words today?

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: you need a friend

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that is both incredibly simple and challenge-level hard: being open with a friend.

The loneliness statistics in America are staggering.  Cigna did a massive loneliness study in 2018, and here are a few of their findings:

·       Nearly 50% of Americans reported sometimes or always feeling alone
·       Two in five Americans sometimes or always feel that their relationships are not meaningful and that they are isolated from others.
·       One in five people report they rarely or never feel close to people or feel like there are people they can talk to.
·       Generation Z (adults ages 18-22) is the loneliest generation

Cigna followed up with another study in 2019 and a post-pandemic study – with both showing that the numbers are getting worse, not better.

We need connection.  God made us for community.  Solomon knew this and included wisdom about friendships in his collection of proverbs.  But friendships can be messy, can’t they?  A supportive relationship with someone who isn’t a blood relative or a direct dependent takes energy and effort.  While it may be tempting to just withdraw and focus on ourselves, Solomon actually cautioned against doing so:

Proverbs 18:1
One who isolates himself pursues selfish desires;
he rebels against all sound wisdom.

Without outside counsel, our aims become very selfish.  But seriously, what else would we expect?  If we’re going to isolate ourselves away from others, there’s no one left for us to focus on besides ourselves.  The problem with doing so is that we become self-centered in our thoughts and actions.  Isolation and loneliness is a trap for our minds, one that keeps us away from sound wisdom.  If we are alone long enough, our blind spots and selfishness warp our minds to the point that we reject – or even rebel against – any wisdom that comes our way.

But friendship is more than just correcting each other when we’re drifting toward selfishness.  Solomon also addressed one of the main benefits of having a friend:

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for a difficult time.

We were made to give and receive love.  Knowing you have a friend in your corner, someone that loves you at all times, is a great resource.  When we are giving that same love to our friend, we are removing our focus off of ourself.  This giving-receiving love process actually protects us from the isolation trap that Solomon described in the previous proverb.  Difficult times will come, but they are easier to navigate with a friend in your corner.

However, don’t think a loving friendship means that your friend has to always agree with you or support your ideas.  Sometimes, we need to be told that we’re heading in the wrong direction:

Proverbs 27:6
The wounds of a friend are trustworthy,
but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.

Even coming from a friend, correction still stings.  However, when we know our friend has our best interests in mind, the times they choose to warn us – even figuratively wound us – we know we can trust them.  This again goes back to the first proverb we looked at…a friend’s trustworthy correction keeps us from rebelling against all sound wisdom. 

If all you get are excessive compliments and kisses from someone, especially if they are nudging you towards your selfish desires or unsafe situations…that person is not the friend you need when a difficult time arrives.  Solomon warns us to be very careful with someone who tries to deceive us with an abundance of praise.

Our last proverb is probably the most quoted proverb on this topic.  With just eight words, Solomon perfectly describes the goal of friendships:

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron,
and one person sharpens another.

The goal of a friendship is to make each other better, to make each other sharper.  There are many things to love about Solomon’s word picture, but the main thing to take away is that the sharpening process doesn’t happen for someone who has isolated themselves.  Isolation develops a selfish mind and dulls our lives.  We need one another to help us grow into the man or woman that God has made us to be.

Do you have a friend you can count on, or are you feeling lonely?  If you’re drifting toward loneliness, talk to God about it and be on the lookout for someone you can connect with.  Do not let yourself become comfortable with being alone…you weren’t made for that.

Keep Pressing,
Ken