Pausing on fear (part 1)

The biggest miracle Jesus had ever performed just happened: 5,000 men, plus all the women and children (easily more than 10,000 people total) were fed from five loaves of bread and two fish.  This wasn’t snack-time portions, either: 

Matthew 14:20
Everyone ate and was satisfied.  They picked up twelve baskets full of leftover pieces.

Everyone was full, as in “No thank you, I’m stuffed.  I can’t eat any more.” 

Next, it was time for everyone to go home.  Although the disciples had helped distribute the miraculous food and collect the twelve baskets of leftovers, Jesus did not have them help disperse the massive crowd.  They were at the shores of the Sea of Galilee, and Jesus was sending them to the other side.

Matthew 14:22-23
Immediately He made the disciples get into the boat and go ahead of Him to the other side, while He dismissed the crowds.  After dismissing the crowds, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray.  Well into the night, He was there alone. 

I can really empathize with Jesus here.  After providing for the spiritual and physical needs of a massive crowd, He needed some alone time – just Him and His Father.  It’s important to note that even Jesus needed to step away from the world and recharge.

At the same time, the disciples were struggling with the direction Jesus had sent them in.

Matthew 14:24
Meanwhile, the boat was already some distance from land, battered by the waves, because the wind was against them.

The Greek phrase translated as some distance from land is literally worded “many stadia from land”.  John’s account states they were 25 or 30 stadia from land (John 6:16-21).  Since one stadia was 600 feet, or about 200 yards, the disciples’ boat was about 3 or 4 miles from the shore – and they were getting pounded by the storm.

Storms on the Sea of Galilee were not uncommon.  The topography surrounding the large body of water creates a natural set of wind tunnels.  Wind comes off the surrounding mountains, crashes into the water, and massive storms were known to happen in the blink of an eye.

Several of the disciples were fishermen prior to following Jesus, so they knew what to expect, but also how dangerous it was to be caught in a nasty wind-storm in the middle of the night.  Survival would be the main goal, and getting to shore would be a big part of that.  But despite their best efforts, they couldn’t escape the storm. 

Let’s pause right here.  They just had a massive day.  Jesus’ biggest miracle to date had just happened, and they were a part of it.  Not just as witnesses, but they helped distribute food to 10,000 people.  Of course, they didn’t hand out fish and bread to every single person, but they were the ones who took the food from Jesus to hand out to others…and then collected the leftovers.  That sounds like an absolutely exhausting day.

As the sun is setting and the day is wrapping up, Jesus sends them to go across the lake, quite possibly taking some/all of the twelve baskets of leftovers.  They did exactly what Jesus told them to do – and got stuck in a violent storm.  Now, after already being worn down from an exhilarating day, they must fight the oppressive wind and do everything they can to keep the boat afloat and stay alive.

To top it all off, the last time a storm like this happened, Jesus was with them.  Although He was asleep in the boat when the storm happened, after they woke Him, He quickly calmed the storm with just a word (Matthew 8:23-27).  But Jesus isn’t with them this time.  They were going to have to survive this one without Him.

The next verse in this account offers a ton of hope to the disciples’ situation, but there is a small phrase in there that is easily overlooked – the next verse takes place very early in the morning.  Again, the Greek phrasing is very instructive here: during the fourth watch of the night, which means between 3:00am and 6:00am. 

Rescue for the disciples did not come until near sunrise.  They fought the wind-storm nearly all night long before Jesus showed up.  They were battered by the waves for hours upon hours.  Physically exhausted.  Mentally drained.  Emotionally sapped.

I’m sure some wanted to give up.  It’s possible that a few of them already had.  At the point of feeling completely done in, one of them saw something in the distance.  They probably didn’t trust their eyes in this storm-ridden moment.  Early daylight was piercing the horizon, but nothing was clear.  Whatever it was, it was moving toward them…on top of the water.

So with this background, we can have sympathy when we read the disciples’ reaction.  They were absolutely fried.  No one had ever walked on water before.  They had no idea that Jesus was even capable of doing so.  A slow walk across that distance would have taken Jesus up to an hour to reach them from the shore. Even if the disciples didn’t see Jesus until He was just one stadia (200 yards) away from them because of the storm, they would have watched this unknown thing come straight at them for two long minutes…which would have felt like an eternity.  Or possibly worse…what if they didn’t see Him coming because the storm was still so bad, and instead it was as if He appeared out of nowhere, 20 yards off the side of the boat!

I suspect our reaction would have been pretty similar to theirs:

Matthew 14:25-26
Jesus came toward them walking on the sea very early in the morning.  When the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified.  “It’s a ghost!” they said, and they cried out in fear.

They were just done.  Done-in and done-for.  They were terrified, and likely thinking they were about to die.

Matthew 14:27
Immediately Jesus spoke to them.  “Have courage!  It is I.  Don’t be afraid.”

Notice that Jesus didn’t calm the storm.  He didn’t change their situation.  He didn’t give them the strength of Samson so they could reset the sails and try again.  He didn’t clear their minds of the cobwebs caused by exhaustion. 

Instead, Jesus gave them Himself.

Jesus spoke to them, giving words of encouragement.  He was close by – moving toward them when they couldn’t see past the raging storm and He was nearby when they were at their breaking point.  Their situation hadn’t changed, but their perspective on their situation was about to.

From this, we learn the principle: Courage replaces fear when we recognize Jesus is near.

Just because we’re doing what God has asked us to do, that doesn’t mean everything will go to plan and meet our expectations of huge impact and easy victories.  We still must fight the battles with cancer, poverty, cruelty, anxiety, depression, broken relationships, and everything else that life throws at us.  Getting battered by the storms of life and reaching our breaking point doesn’t mean we are a bad disciple, a poor witness, or abandoned by God.

Jesus is right there, in the storm, with us.  He is our source of courage.  Hear His voice and don’t be afraid.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

An engagement ring, the Holy Spirit, and witnessing

It felt like any other workday as everyone came in, but before I could even start with the normal Monday morning pleasantries – How was your weekend?  What did you do? – a coworker actually jumped into my path and started waving her left hand in my face.  The diamond on her ring was close enough to poke me in the nose, and as I pulled back, I could see the large smile on her face.  She was practically giddy that the man she had spent so much time getting to know had asked her to marry him.  All day long, she bounced from person to person, telling anyone she knew about their relationship and future together.

My co-worker had gotten to know this man and was already in love with him.  Most people at work knew she was dating, but didn’t really know how serious they were or if they had any future plans together.  However, when the proposal moment came and he placed the ring on her finger, everything snapped into focus.  Because of the ring and her bubbly excitement, everyone at work soon found out that she had experienced a life-changing moment and that she was in a life-changing relationship.

The memory of that Monday has stuck with me for many years.  It was so easy for her to tell others about her relationship, how special it was for her, and how her talking about it felt like a celebration of their relationship.  I’ve often compared this to how most Christians share their faith with others, and obviously there are significant differences.  I think every Christian would love to have the confidence, boldness, and excitement that my coworker had, and we often scold ourselves for not having the courage to share.  So, what do we do?  Typically, we go one of two ways: either we grit our teeth and fumble around in the awkwardness of forcing “Jesus” into a conversation, or we resign ourselves to shame for being too scared to bring it up.

However, we’re not alone in this.  The Biblical parallel that comes to mind is what Jesus told His 11 disciples just before He ascended into heaven:

Acts 1:8
But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come on you,
and you will be My witnesses in Jerusalem,
in all Judea and Samaria,
and to the end of the earth.

When reading Scripture, one way to sharpen our Observation skills is to look for the particular order things are presented.  Us modern-day believers tend to key in on the phrase “you will be My witnesses…to the end of the earth”, and while that is where we are on this list, we need to be aware that Jesus said there was a part that comes before becoming His witnesses.

Jesus told His disciples that first the Holy Spirit has to come into their lives and that He would be the power for them to be His witnesses – and if you continue to read in Acts, you find out that is the case.  The disciples knew Jesus well because they had just spent the last 3 years with Him, watching everything He did and being personally taught by Him.  Yes, they did do some preaching and teaching under Jesus’ leadership, but that all stopped when Jesus was taken from them.  Scripture does not show them telling others about Jesus until after the Holy Spirit came.  The disciples had all the information and relationship basis to tell others, but they were lacking the boldness and power to talk about Him.  The arrival of the Holy Spirit in their lives gave them the confidence they needed to share what they already knew.

For us, we are given the Holy Spirit the moment we believe in Jesus for eternal life (Ephesians 1:13).  The point is the same, however.  The Holy Spirit is the one who enables us to witness…it’s not something that can be drummed up or done by our own strength.  And yet, we shame ourselves for not being able to do the Holy Spirit’s job!  The disciples could not effectively witness without Him, and neither can we.

Our efforts should not be in finding and perfecting a “witnessing moment” because that’s not our jurisdiction, not our focus.  Our witness is an outpouring of our relationship with Jesus.  We can only share what we know.  As such, our efforts are better used in purposely spending time with Jesus – getting to know Him by talking with Him in prayer and watching what He did in the Scriptures.  The Holy Spirit will take care of the rest.

Keep Pressing,
Ken