The recipe for our best life

What are the components of a “good life”?  Or, what conditions would you want to have in place in order for you to live your “best life”?

We can come up with a pretty quick list if we look at what we lament about when we feel like someone didn’t get their “best life” opportunity:

We’re bothered when someone, even a stranger to us, dies “young”.  Something doesn’t feel right if a person doesn’t at least make it into their late sixties…and something feels completely wrong if a person dies before reaching adulthood.

Best life component #1: a long life

We’re also bothered when someone dies before they can fulfill their potential.  We say things like, “Oh, she would have made a great doctor.” Or, “He never did start that business he always dreamed of.” Wasted ability and unused capacity have such a hollow ring to them.  It’s both sad and frustrating to think of “what might have been” with a little more time or a little more effort.

Best life component #2: a fulfilling life

Lastly, we know the world is more than a tick “off”.  The turmoil, the struggle, and the pain all leave us with a feeling of “It’s not supposed to be like this”…and yet, we’re not sure how to address it all.  We want peace – yes, in the world, but even more so in ourselves.  We make both conscious and unconscious decisions in pursuit of our own safety, mental/physical/emotional health, and our well-being.

Best life component #3: a life characterized by health and well-being

Mix all three of those “Best life components” together, and you get this working definition:

A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

That sounds pretty good to me, and I’m confident it sounds good to you as well.

But what if I told you that God has already given us a clearly-defined path to living this kind of “Best Life”? 

When Solomon, the wisest man on the planet, wanted to teach his sons about wisdom and right-living, he recorded his proverbs for them to read.  These wisdom-filled probabilities were based on his observations of life, his own learnings, and the knowledge God had given him.  Within his introduction, Solomon had this to say:

Proverbs 3:1-2
My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;
for they will bring you many days, a full life, and well-being.

Even back in Solomon’s time – they were searching for the same kind of “Best Life” that we are still looking for today.  However, we must note that Solomon says the “Best Life” doesn’t happen by accident…there are both do’s and don’ts involved:

Don’t:
Don’t forget my teaching – Solomon is dropping wisdom here, and if his sons can’t remember what dad is teaching, then they can’t apply it.  And if they can’t apply it, then their best life is at a serious risk of not happening.   

Do:
Let your heart keep my commands – Each son must individually choose to follow dad’s instructions.  It’s the follow-through of doing that will take them down the best life path.

In the coming weeks, we’re going to take a look at the steps Solomon prescribes for his sons – both the do’s and the don’ts – and we’ll see how they can bring us to

A long, fulfilling life characterized by health and well-being.

But for now, you and I must make the choice to listen, to not forget what we learn, and to do what we learn as we discover the recipe to living out our best life.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

How to avoid mistakes

I am my own worst critic. 

I hate my mistakes.  I hate my mess ups.  I especially despise making them in front of other people. 

Even when I was a kid, I hated to practice my saxophone or acting script with others in the house…because I didn’t want anyone hearing the number of times I’d mess it up before finally figuring out the melody or how I wanted to say a memorized line. 

As a teen, I figured out how to stay in my lane with things that worked for me.  Doing so only allowed people to see my successes.  Combine that with avoiding the things you’re bad at, and suddenly everyone assumes that you’re good at everything.

As I became an adult, I didn’t get any better.  But when you become a husband and a father…there’s no hiding your mistakes anymore.  Because of the proximity of day-to-day living, my flaws were glaringly obvious to my wife and – despite my best efforts – they were also mirrored back to me by my young sons.

There were many options available for how I was going to deal with my inability to maintain a “perfect-looking” façade – I could use denial, I could use anger to deflect attention from my mistakes, I could double-down and work harder at not messing up, or I could avoid discussing them altogether.  None of these options are mutually exclusive either…I could mix and match to whatever situation I found myself in.

Fortunately, a better help came along.

His name was Joe.

Joe took me, a 25 year old husband/father/know-it-all, and mentored me.  He taught me how to study the Bible, how to read the meaning out of the text instead of putting my own thinking into the text.  He taught me how to teach.  He loved me.  He invested in me.  Through his efforts, “Old Joe” (as he often called himself) put his arm around my shoulders, telling me “This is how we do this.  This is how a Christian man lives for God, with eternity in mind.” 

He was very good at referencing the book of Proverbs, which focuses on wisdom, being skilled at living before God.  I’ll give you some examples of how he quoted them and also lived them out:

First example:

I’d see him at least every Sunday at church, and we’d be in touch frequently during the week.  We’d talk about work, family upbringing, frustrations, raising kids, loving a wife who struggles with bi-polar disorder, everything…including making mistakes.

Joe always told me: “I’ve already made all the mistakes.  If you listen to me, you won’t have to make them, too.”  He was right…listening to him helped me either avoid messing up on something I wasn’t prepared for, or his advice was able to help me deal with my faults and move forward in a healthy, Godly manner.

Proverbs 19:20
Listen to counsel and receive instruction so that you may be wise later in life.

Second example:

Most of the time I was happy to see him, but there were occasions where I dreaded speaking with him – because I knew I was struggling and I knew he was going to call me out.  I have to admit that his corrections were always kindly delivered, but I just didn’t always want to talk about my struggles.  I even avoided him a few Sundays…and when I eventually came back around, he was still there for me.

Proverbs 27:6
Wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.

Third example:

He mentored me from my mid-twenties to my mid-thirties, but “Old Joe” was at the other end of the spectrum.  He didn’t have to share the lessons he’d learned over the years, but he wanted to invest in the next generation of disciples.  He had lived for God for many decades.  As such, he was skilled in wisdom and right-living…but it wasn’t something that he kept to himself.

Proverbs 16:31
Gray hair is a glorious crown; it is found in the ways of righteousness.

It’s been many years since I last saw him.  Due to health reasons, he and his wife had to move closer to family.  “Old Joe” went to heaven at the end of 2017, but his impact still echoes on this side of eternity.  You can read more about his influence on my life here.

I don’t have a full head of grey hair yet, but there’s more with each passing year.  I’m thankful for the years that God has allowed me to serve Him, and that He continues to teach me the ways of righteousness and right-living. 

A few weeks back, I even used Joe’s quote.  During a group discussion after church, I pointed to a friend of mine who is close to my age, turned to a young couple, and said: We’ve already made all the mistakes.  If you listen to us, you won’t have to make them, too. 

I hope they applied what we talked about.  I hope they’re able to avoid or manage mistakes better because of our example, and the example that was set for me by Joe.

I urge you to do the same.  If you’re wearing a crown of grey hair, then please invest in the young ones.  And if you’re a young one, find an older believer to help you walk with wisdom…and learn early how to avoid mistakes.

Keep Pressing
Ken