Revenge, a long time coming

Our oldest son has always been a fidgeter.  In his mind, anything can become a fidget toy…something to spin, twist, massage, or poke.  He’d wear out the battery cover on the remote control – open, closed, open, close.  Keys were for jingling and juggling.  Flashlights were for flickering.  Camera shutters were repeatedly opened and shut.  And let’s not forget one of his favorites – rolling up and down the windows in the car. 

I especially found the car window play to be rather annoying.  We’d be driving down the road, and then his window would randomly open, only to roll back up.  My quick fix would be to lock the windows from the driver’s door panel.  When I did that, he was instantly upset. 

“Why’d you lock my window?”

“Because you can’t play with it.”

“I’m not playing with it!  I just wanted to roll it down.”

“Not while we’re driving down the road.”

He’d sit and sulk until he got over it…at least, I thought he had gotten over it.  Let’s fast-forward 10 years.  He now has his learner’s permit.  I get in the passenger’s seat, and he slides into the driver’s seat.  After adjusting the car’s seat and mirrors, he reached over and pushed the button to lock the windows.  I’m quite certain there was a little smirk on his face when he did so.  At the very least, there was a sense of smugness now coming from the driver’s seat.

“Why’d you lock the windows?”

“Because I’m the driver and I get to now.”

“No, those can stay unlocked.”

“Why???  You always locked them on me!”

“I locked them so you wouldn’t play with the windows.  There’s no danger of the other people in the car doing that, so you don’t need to lock them now.”

“It’s not fair!”

Little did I know, he had held that grudge for 10+ years.  He felt slighted by someone in authority over him, and he nursed that pain without saying a word, waiting until the day that he, literally, sat in the driver’s seat.  He wanted revenge.  He wanted me to suffer the same way he had.  But when the day finally arrived – it didn’t play out the way he imagined all those years.

Throughout Scripture, multiple authors warn us about taking revenge:

1 Peter 3:8-9
Finally, all of you be like-minded and sympathetic, love one another, and be compassionate and humble, not paying back evil for evil or insult for insult but, on the contrary, giving a blessing, since you were called for this, so that you may inherit a blessing.

1 Thessalonians 5:15
See to it that no one repays evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good for one another and for all.

Hebrews 10:30
For we know the one who has said,
“Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay,”
and again,
“The Lord will judge His people.”

This last verse included a quote from the Old Testament:

Deuteronomy 32:35
[God speaking:] Vengeance and retribution belong to Me.  In time their foot will slip, for their day of disaster is near, and their doom is coming quickly.

Jesus even said that the second greatest command is to “love your neighbor as yourself”, but did you know that Jesus’ statement is only the first part of the Old Testament command?  Here is the full verse:

Leviticus 19:18
Do not take revenge or bear a grudge against members of your community, but love your neighbor as yourself.

Desiring justice and hating wrongdoing are perfectly normal responses to what happens in our broken world.  The problem we encounter when we are wronged by members of our community is that we tend to “one up” the wrong that was done to us.  We want them to hurt at least as much as we have.  This is why God says to leave the punishment up to Him.  He knows all the angles of every person involved, and as such, His vengeance and retribution is perfectly just and balanced – something we cannot manage within ourselves.

Upon reflection, when we choose to love our neighbor as ourselves even going so far as to be compassionate and humble, we may even find – like my son did – that the grudge we hold is more of a “me-thing” and not so much that I was actually wronged.  We can easily slide toward grudges and wanting revenge when we don’t get our own way.  How much head-space and energy did my son needlessly spend while he waited for his chance at revenge?  Years-worth.  Don’t make the same mistake.  If the moment for revenge actually arrives…it won’t turn out like you’ve daydreamed.  Leave it for God to sort out.  He will do a much better job than you ever could.

Keep Pressing,
Ken