I…I need a break

Let’s talk for a minute, ok? 

Just you and me.  Grab a cup of coffee, take a seat.

How are you doing?  Good, I hope.  Me?  Not so much.

I’m coming out of a very busy season, and I’m just now getting a chance to breathe again.  You may have noticed that for the last five weeks, the blog posts have all been “Flashback Favorites”, and for that I apologize.  My schedule has been so exhausting that I have not had the mental energy to study Scripture well and write up new blog posts to the standard I expect from myself as a teacher of God’s Word. 

But to be honest, my struggles were happening much before the most recent busy season started.  In my hard-headedness, I have ignored all the warning signs…either attempting to “power through” what I called a rough patch or simply convincing myself that “it’s only a season” – when in reality, it wasn’t a rough patch or a season…it was just my life.

During work this week, I looked out the window, and I could see the wind blowing the leaves off our red oak tree.  One leaf, then a small group of them, then two more frittered by…an uneven stream of dead tree pieces gently wisping away from increasingly barren branches.  “That,” I thought to myself, “is an apt picture of how I feel.”  To quote Bilbo Baggins, “I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.”

I didn’t have a name for what I’m experiencing right now, until I started the book “At Your Best” by Carey Nieuwhof.  The word for what I’m dealing with is burnout.  Experienced by many, but it’s new to me.  Common signs of burnout include time off no longer being restful, decreased productivity, no passion/emotionally flat, a cynical attitude, and a sharp decline in physical/mental/emotional/spiritual health.  I am in the midst of all of these, to one degree or another.

So, my friend, I need to take a step back.  I need calendar space and emotional grace to process what got me here, how I will move forward, and where God is in this moment.  I didn’t plan on being here.  This wasn’t my aim.  And yet…here we are.

So, this is my plan (at least, as much as I have at the moment): I need to get back to meeting with God in His Word, without the constant pressure of “How am I going to teach this truth to someone else?”  I need to step out from under the weight of a writing a weekly blog that aims to share God’s Word in a Biblically-solid, enlightening, and occasionally humorous way.  I’ve been doing this for over 11 years now, and I feel really dry right at this moment.  I have several close friends that I’ll be talking with regularly as I work through this.  I trust their godly advice and their love for me.  So, please know that I’m not going at this alone (as tempting as that might be).

Here’s what it means for THE WORD: I’m going to republish a series I walked through three years ago, because its premise is going to be helpful to me over the coming weeks.  I am hopeful that it is helpful to you as well.  As we navigate the demands of life, we move at a rather frantic tempo.  This pace rarely, if ever, allows us to pause and meet with God in the moment.  The blog series I’m bringing back looked at specific stories from Jesus’ life in the book of Matthew, intentionally “pausing” in real-life moments.  I want to get better at pausing and recognizing God in my daily moments.  My hope and prayer is that this series will do the same for you.

Just last night, before I went to sleep, I was reading through Psalm 22.  Jesus recited this psalm as He hung on the cross.  It’s profoundly prophetic that King David would write these words 1,000 years before Jesus arrived.  The entire psalm is a back-and-forth between struggling with a crushing circumstance and yet still looking to God for rescue.  Here is the verse that I paused on:

Psalm 22:19
But you, Lord, do not be far from me.
You are my strength; come quickly to help me.

That simple prayer, do not be far from me, is what I’ll be praying over the coming weeks.

I won’t take up much more of your time, but I would ask – if you choose to pray for me – that you would pray that I do not waste this time away.  It would be an easy trap for me to fall into.  While I do need rest, I do not need my rest to become simply escapism.  Also, please pray that I accept whatever changes God presents to me, in whatever areas of life He chooses to rearrange.  It may be time to trust Him in new ways.

Thank you for listening, my friend.  I appreciate your understanding, your patience, and you giving me grace. 

Keep Pressing,
Ken