Depressed, messy prayers

There is a lot of nervousness right now about the economy and job security.  Government jobs are under heavy scrutiny, and while many private-sector companies are cautiously optimistic about the future…they’re also worried about budget constraints, talent shortages, foreign politics, domestic politics, and waning consumer sentiment – because many Americans still feel the impact of high prices.

If you’re feeling like your job security is low, then public perceptions, partisan divides, and loudly-shouted mixed opinions about economic data do nothing to alleviate your fears.  While I’m not currently there, I have been before.  There have been times in previous positions where I’ve been worried that I might lose my job for something I did, or times that I worried about moves the company was making that could eliminate my position, or times when fear and nervousness spiked because a “reduction in force” happened with no warning at all.

And in all those times, you know what always grew?  The amount of time I spent praying.  Nothing drives you to increase your time talking with God as much as having your paycheck security threatened. 

But what of those prayers?  How do you pray for help when the world around you feels so uncertain?  Especially if you haven’t talked with God 1-on-1 in a while…just letting the preacher on Sunday talk to God for you.  Should I sit up straight, fold my hands, bow my head, and close my eyes?  Do I need to drop down to my knees and (politely) beg?  Should I recite the Lord’s Prayer five times…ten times…more?  What are the right words to say?  Pastor Tony Evans has this advice:

If you have wrongly assumed that all prayer should be dignified and employ only theological jargon in your petitions to God, you have not understood prayer rightly.  Let David be your model. He approaches God honestly, pleading emotionally for deliverance.  As a troubled child depends on his or her daddy, go to your heavenly Father in your turmoil and open your heart to Him.

That is exactly what David did.  In Psalm 142, the beginning header recounts that this was written when he was in the cave.  How dark was it?  How confining?  How much despair and depression did the sloped walls communicate?  They certainly contributed to his mood and the raw words he prayed:

Psalm 142
I cry aloud to the Lord;
I plead aloud to the Lord for mercy.
I pour out my complaint before Him;
I reveal my trouble to Him.
Although my spirit is weak within me, you know my way.

Along this path I travel they have hidden a trap for me.
Look to the right and see: no one stands up for me;
there is no refuge for me; no one cares about me.

David certainly felt isolated and unsure of his future.  When he looks to the right and sees…no one, he feels utterly alone.  There was no one there to be his “right-hand man”; a warrior would have his trusted ally on his right to help protect his flank while holding his own shield with his left hand.  But for David…he looks and finds no one to care about him.

Alone.  Surrounded by cave walls.  No support.  All he sees are hidden traps up ahead. 
Perhaps you can relate. 

So David does the only thing he can do, and it is a model for us as well:

I cry to you, Lord;
I say, “You are my shelter, my portion in the land of the living.”
Listen to my cry, for I am very weak.
Rescue me from those who pursue me,
for they are too strong for me.
Free me from prison so that I can praise Your name.
The righteous will gather around me
because you deal generously with me.

There are no highbrow words, no flowery talk.  David doesn’t posture, fake being strong, or try to bargain with God.  Instead, he readily admits: I am very weak…they are too strong for me.  He can’t do this on his own.  The future, apart from God’s rescue, has no hope.

Looking at David’s example…it’s ok to pray this way.  Be raw.  Be real.  Be honest.  Tell God that you are weak, but you trust that He will be strong.

David made it out of that cave, because the God he trusted took care of him.  You can, too.

Keep Pressing,
Ken

Proverbial life: you need a friend

We’re taking a topic-focused tour of the book of Proverbs.  Although Solomon was commenting on life roughly 3000 years ago, his observations ring loud and clear in today’s modern times.  In this blog post, we’ll be looking at a topic that is both incredibly simple and challenge-level hard: being open with a friend.

The loneliness statistics in America are staggering.  Cigna did a massive loneliness study in 2018, and here are a few of their findings:

·       Nearly 50% of Americans reported sometimes or always feeling alone
·       Two in five Americans sometimes or always feel that their relationships are not meaningful and that they are isolated from others.
·       One in five people report they rarely or never feel close to people or feel like there are people they can talk to.
·       Generation Z (adults ages 18-22) is the loneliest generation

Cigna followed up with another study in 2019 and a post-pandemic study – with both showing that the numbers are getting worse, not better.

We need connection.  God made us for community.  Solomon knew this and included wisdom about friendships in his collection of proverbs.  But friendships can be messy, can’t they?  A supportive relationship with someone who isn’t a blood relative or a direct dependent takes energy and effort.  While it may be tempting to just withdraw and focus on ourselves, Solomon actually cautioned against doing so:

Proverbs 18:1
One who isolates himself pursues selfish desires;
he rebels against all sound wisdom.

Without outside counsel, our aims become very selfish.  But seriously, what else would we expect?  If we’re going to isolate ourselves away from others, there’s no one left for us to focus on besides ourselves.  The problem with doing so is that we become self-centered in our thoughts and actions.  Isolation and loneliness is a trap for our minds, one that keeps us away from sound wisdom.  If we are alone long enough, our blind spots and selfishness warp our minds to the point that we reject – or even rebel against – any wisdom that comes our way.

But friendship is more than just correcting each other when we’re drifting toward selfishness.  Solomon also addressed one of the main benefits of having a friend:

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for a difficult time.

We were made to give and receive love.  Knowing you have a friend in your corner, someone that loves you at all times, is a great resource.  When we are giving that same love to our friend, we are removing our focus off of ourself.  This giving-receiving love process actually protects us from the isolation trap that Solomon described in the previous proverb.  Difficult times will come, but they are easier to navigate with a friend in your corner.

However, don’t think a loving friendship means that your friend has to always agree with you or support your ideas.  Sometimes, we need to be told that we’re heading in the wrong direction:

Proverbs 27:6
The wounds of a friend are trustworthy,
but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.

Even coming from a friend, correction still stings.  However, when we know our friend has our best interests in mind, the times they choose to warn us – even figuratively wound us – we know we can trust them.  This again goes back to the first proverb we looked at…a friend’s trustworthy correction keeps us from rebelling against all sound wisdom. 

If all you get are excessive compliments and kisses from someone, especially if they are nudging you towards your selfish desires or unsafe situations…that person is not the friend you need when a difficult time arrives.  Solomon warns us to be very careful with someone who tries to deceive us with an abundance of praise.

Our last proverb is probably the most quoted proverb on this topic.  With just eight words, Solomon perfectly describes the goal of friendships:

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron,
and one person sharpens another.

The goal of a friendship is to make each other better, to make each other sharper.  There are many things to love about Solomon’s word picture, but the main thing to take away is that the sharpening process doesn’t happen for someone who has isolated themselves.  Isolation develops a selfish mind and dulls our lives.  We need one another to help us grow into the man or woman that God has made us to be.

Do you have a friend you can count on, or are you feeling lonely?  If you’re drifting toward loneliness, talk to God about it and be on the lookout for someone you can connect with.  Do not let yourself become comfortable with being alone…you weren’t made for that.

Keep Pressing,
Ken